Space Bezos


Cjones06122021

The richest man in the planet now wants to be the richest man in the galaxy.

Jeff Bezos owns Amazon, Whole Foods, Metro Goldwyn Mayor, and The Washington Post. He also owns a space company, Blue Origin, and will be part of the crew for its first manned space flight. He’s going to beat fellow billionaires Elon Musk and Richard Branson to be the first rich asshole in space.

Bezos’ billions being spent to shoot him off the third rock from the sun is helped by the fact his tax rate is basically 0.98 percent. ProPublica exposed IRS files showing that the 25 richest jerks in this country have a tax rate of nearly zero. Warren Buffett is buying newspapers left and right, tearing them down to almost nothing, reselling them for a profit, claiming he has a passion for newspapers, all while paying as little in taxes as possible. Maybe he should have bought ProPublica.

In this nation, we tax income but not wealth. That means billionaire jagoffs like Bezos all the way down to the poorest billionaires such as Donald Trump, pay a lower rate than you do. It’s estimated that 11.8 percent of Amazon’s workers in Ohio are receiving welfare benefits. That’s just in one state, but all of Bezo’s employees, even those who collect food stamps to survive, pay higher tax rates than their space-bound billionaire boss.

You may think that’s just Bezos and his fellow billionaires paying very little in taxes. But what about their companies? In 2018, Amazon paid zero in federal taxes. Amazon now accounts for over 50% of all online shopping, forcing small and even large corporations to declare bankruptcy. Amazon’s profits increased to nearly 200 percent during the pandemic (I know I helped). On top of that, The National Labor Relations Board this year claims that Amazon retaliated against staffers who raised concerns about warehouse safety by firing them.

I don’t want to hate rich people just because they’re rich, but when a billionaire like Bezos is lavishly spending $25 million on a new Los Angeles mansion, $23 million on a Washington mansion, $17 million on a Manhattan apartment, $500 million on a new yacht, $65 million on a private jet, $42 million on a clock (dude, there’s a clock on your cell phone), and a billion to send his happy rich ass to space, getting a huge tax cut from the Trump administration while not paying taxes, the rich are making it hard not to hate them.

But hey, when you’re such a rich jerk that dogs won’t play with you, do what Bezos does…and buy a robot dog. You can program it to lick your face.

We need to raise taxes on the rich. We need to tax wealth. We need to eliminate tax loopholes. Republicans are fighting for the rich rather than for you because they’re bought and paid for by the rich. We can fix that. From a post I recently saw somewhere on social media: All we have to do is eat one billionaire and the rest will fall in line. It’s not like any of them are a Bruce Wayne or a Tony Stark.

Tony Stark went to space to fight Thanos. I suspect Bezos wants to go to space to become Thanos. I expect his trip to be like Ivanka Trump at Buckingham Palace, a photo-op for a creepy smile peering from a window reminding us just how much better humans they are than the rest of us.

Quite frankly, I think they can be better than the rest of us but they have to go to space to prove it. So, let’s shoot them all into space. We can even save money by not bothering to bring them back.

Spending billions to send yourself to space, when you know you don’t have the right stuff, while your employees are living off of generic Ramen noodles, and you’re not paying taxes, takes some serious space balls.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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14 comments

  1. Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    Besos Balls!! … “Spending billions to send yourself to space, when you know you don’t have the right stuff, while your employees are living off of generic Ramen noodles, and you’re not paying taxes, takes some serious space balls.”

    Like

  2. Wow, you make me feel guilty to shop at Amazon, but what can I do? I can’t live without amazon now. LOL. Love your blogs. Always. 😊😍😜👍😂

    Like

      1. So . . . I want to buy two books for a friend of mine in WI . . . do I:
        Spend five minutes in front of my computer?

        Or do I;
        1) Drive ten miles to the nearest book store, in hopes that these two books are in stock;
        2) Walk from the parking lot to the store in 95+-degree heat;
        3) Walk thru the store looking for said books, or, if I’m lucky, find someone who is actually knowledgeable about the store’s stock to find them for me;
        a. Remembering that COVID is still running rampant in Florida, no matter WHAT Governor [sic] DeathSantis wants us to believe and, even tho I’m vaccinated and wear a mask, I’m immune suppressed and really don’t want to take any more risk that I have to by interacting with people;
        4) Purchase the books (assuming they are in stock), probably at a higher cost (B & N or Amazon; does it matter?);
        5) Drive ten miles home;
        6) Pack and address the books;
        7) Drive five miles to the nearest post office;
        8) Pay shipping;
        a. ditto above;
        9) Drive fives miles home.

        I may be retired and ‘time is no longer money’, but I have better ways to spend my time than driving & walking all over the county, wasting gas, adding wear & tear on my car, risking a car accident (FL drivers are CRAY CRAY), all in 95+ heat and humidity, thereby risking my health (I just spent days in hospital; don’t EVER want to do THAT again).

        I cannot let the overweening supercilious attitude of your ‘try harder’ comment stand.

        Like

      2. I haven’t purchased anything on amazon since, I believe it may have been 2013 or 2014. There are other ways to avoid amazon besides the hard work you’ve seemed to make it into Andrea. Work smarter, not harder. Support local businesses by calling local book stores to see if what you want is in stock, instead of driving 10 miles and disappointing yourself. Most of them will special order the item for you if it isn’t on hand. I didn’t bother to read the rest of your comment. It seemed as if you wanted to complain more than you wanted to find viable solutions to the bezos dilemma. It’s that kind of attitude that allows him to be able to purchase a half a billion (billion with a B) dollar yacht without managing to break a sweat. Keep making him wealthier. I gave that up long ago.

        Like

      3. I haven’t patted myself on the back one time. I told someone they should try harder (which for some reason triggered you) and I pointed out that you seem more comfortable complaining than trying to find solutions. God forbid that you support a local business and spend a little more time and money. It’s’s so much more convenient to support a guy that has an obscene amount of wealth and relishes in having his employees damn near treated like slaves. You contribute to that everytime you shop amazon, whether you like it or not. I’m not patting myself on the back, so get over yourself, but I’m not comfortable with that. Quit being so bitter and TRY HARDER!

        Like

  3. Hi Clay,

     

    brilliant piece as so often. THANK YOU! there's just one point, I'd like to correct: It's too late for Bezos to be the first rich assshole in space because Dennis Tito had been there looong before him. OK, I don't really know if Tito is an asshole, I just assume it after looking at his net worth. But who likes weisenheimers anyway? 😉

     

    Cheers

     

    Dorkas

       

    Gesendet: Mittwoch, 09. Juni 2021 um 15:37 Uhr Von: "claytoonz" <comment-reply@wordpress.com> An: myforen@online.ms Betreff: [New post] Space Bezos

    clayjonz posted: " the richest man in the planet now wants to be the richest man in the galaxy. Jeff Bezos owns Amazon, Whole Foods, Metro Goldwyn Mayor, and The Washington Post. He also owns a space company, Blue Origin, and will be part of the crew for its first ma"

    Like

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