Kremlin Cruz


Texas Senator Ted Cruz did not serve in the military. But he says when he was younger, he thought about it real hard. Today, why golly gee willikers, he kinda wishes he had served. Of course, Ted only wishes he had served for the political bonus points serving would have given him. In Ted’s feeble little mind where the thoughts are all about Ted, he believes saying he thought about serving in the military is just as good politically as serving in the military. It’s kinda like when you tell your girlfriend you almost bought her something really nice, then expect sex. When he was in college, Ted also said he thought about starring in a “teen tit film.”

John McCain served in the military, was a prisoner of war in the Hanoi Hilton, was tortured, but Ted thought about serving…and being in booby movies.

The United States Army created a video showcasing the “deeply emotional and diverse” background of its soldiers. It tells the true story of Cpl. Emma Malonelord, a soldier who enlisted after being raised by two mothers in California and graduating at the top of her high school class.

In Russia (where they claim there are no gay people), military propaganda created a TikTok video of a muscular Russian man with a shaved head doing push-ups, jumping out of a plane, and staring down the scope of a rifle…and then it cuts to the U.S. Army video for a comparison. Ted Cruz retweeted the Russian propaganda video and said the contrast made American soldier’s into “pansies.” He also said the U.S. military was “woke” and “emasculated.”

No, Ted. “Emasculated” is when you become an ass-kissing toady troglodyte for the man who accused your father of murder and called your wife “ugly.”

Ted tweeted, “Holy crap! Perhaps a woke, emasculated military is not the best idea …”

Senator Tammy Duckworth, who did join the U.S. military, is a Purple Heart recipient, and lost both legs in combat replied, “Holy crap! Perhaps a U.S. Senator shouldn’t suggest that the *Russian* military is better than the American military that protected him from an insurrection he helped foment?”

Ted Cruz is perhaps the most disingenuous person who has ever slimed out from the ocean floor before learning to walk upright.

He pretends to be a proud American who supports our troops, yet he supported an insurrection of our government, tried to overturn a democratically-held election, and praises Russia’s military while using a homophobic slur against the U.S. Army.

He pretends his freedom is being attacked when asked to put on a face mask.

He pretends to be a tough guy, telling Donald Trump to “leave Heidi the hell alone” while calling him a “sniveling coward” before joining the Trump cult.

When Democrats propose legislation to combat gun violence, he pretends to be aghast that they’re offering solutions and accuses them of playing political “theater.”

When his state was hit by a record freeze, instead of doing anything to help Texas, he ran off to Cancun, where it was nice and sunny. As soon as his spontaneous vacation was reported, he scrambled back to Texas, making sure to be seen in a face mask emblazoned with the flag of Texas, and went straight to a photo-op of handing out water.

When questioned about the trip, he was caught lying about his plans, the reason for the trip, and even his itinerary. To top it off, he blamed his daughters for the trip.

When Cruz was running for president, he used his daughters in a political commercial to attack Hillary Clinton. He even had them recite anti-Hillary jabs. When cartoonist Ann Telnaes created a brilliant cartoon about the incident, Ted attacked her for “attacking” his daughters, and then used the cartoon in a fundraising email. Because of Ted’s propaganda, conservatives started issuing death threats to Telnaes and other various types of physical vile threats…which Ted ignored. He never called off his goons. He was content with them threatening a woman.

Ted likes to “own” the left but the thing is, he’ll never own liberals as much as he owns himself. You wonder why people like Ted don’t shut up for at least a little while after saying something stupid. My guess is, he’s oblivious to just how ridiculous he comes off.

Ted doesn’t get irony. Just this week, the guy who became subservient to the man who called his wife ugly said President Biden has a “lack of backbone” in support of Israel. Seriously, Ted? You wanna talk about backbones?

Three days ago, he tweeted about cheap airfare to Cancun. Seriously.

A few weeks ago, he said the GOP didn’t rig the Supreme Court. That’s serious gaslighting counting on people not remembering very recent history.

Ted Cruz accused President Biden of “rewarding” Russia by not sanctioning their upcoming pipeline to Germany. In case you’re a Republican, Germany is NOT in the United States. Ted Cruz, who praised Putin’s military this week and never had an issue with Trump choosing Putin over American intelligence, is now concerned about “rewarding” Russia.

Last week, he claimed Democrats’ voting bill will register undocumented immigrants to vote. He also threatened “woke” corporations who aren’t conservative enough.

Yesterday, he was very upset with MSNBC’s Brian Williams for calling him “Kremlin Cruz.” He hates it about as much as Mitch McConnell hates “Moscow Mitch” and Donald Trump hates “Putin’s Puppet.”

On his show, Williams said, “Remember as you watch this just how much Ted Cruz dreams of being president of a country some day, perhaps not this country for reasons like this.”

Ted Cruz replied in multiple tweets, with one stating, “I hate communists, my family was imprisoned & tortured by communists, and Brian is a shameless apologist for Russian (and Chinese and Cuban) communists.” This is just how dishonest Cruz is. Nobody said anything about communists. This is an excellent example of gaslighting.

Ted has a lot of nickames. There’s Cancun Cruz, Snoozin’ Ted, Lyin’ Ted, Fat Weasel, Felito, Terrible Ted, Ted Schmooze, Ted Ooze, Two-Faced Ted, Seditionist Ted, Toddler Ted, Little Fidelo, Castro’s Revenge, Wacko Bird, Cohiba, The Suckup, The Bearded-Boy Blunder, Fleein’, Flyin’, Lyin’ Ted Cruz, Vacation Valentino, Trump’s Toady, Trump’s Latino Lap Poodle, Creep Show Cruz, Toady Ted, Crocodile Tears Cruz, Creepy Crawler Cruz, Ted Scruz, Cootie Cruz, Greased Pig of Politics, Tricky Ted, Waffle King, Rato, Stinkbug, Shady Mailer, Ted Carpet Bomb Cruz, Sneaky Little Stinker, The Fourth Dorkman of the Apocalypse, Diabolical Ted Cruz, Proud Boy, El Presidente Wannabe, Toxic Ted, The Insufferable Schmuck, Dirty Syrup Gulper, McCarthy Jr, The Cruzinator, Ted Smug Mug Cruz, Tailgunner Ted Cruz, the Zodiac Killer, Ted Carnival Cruz, Calgary Cruz, Troglodyte Ted, Douche Canoe Cruz, and now we have Kremlin Cruz.

Despite all the criticism, Ted Cruz did do something great for the United States military and that was by never enlisting.

Of course, if Cruz did attempt to join the military for the nation he so deeply loves and tirelessly protects, they probably would have said, “Nyet.”

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  1. I never imagined that anyone could make Ted Croooz look as ugly on the outside as he is on the inside. I mean…sure…he’s always been ugly on the outside too, but this caricature nails it. As always, Great Job Clay!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Well, doesn’t he still qualify for the Reserves? I didn’t see him standing line at the recruiting office.

    Guys like Moscruz take it for granted he’d get in. Grim as the Armed Forces are, they don’t hold a grudge if you flunk out of Basic Training. You don’t have to worry about Dishonorable Discharge, General Discharge, or any of that stuff. They just take you out with the trash.

    Come to think of it, he could nominate himself for West Point right now. I’ll bet the upperclassmen would have a good time with that dweeb.

    Liked by 2 people

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