Russia

An Incredible Offer


cjones07232018

When Russian President Vladimir Putin proposed to allow Robert Mueller to fly to Russia and question the people there he’s indicted in exchange for the U.S. to send over American citizens Putin wants to throw out of high rises, Donald Trump should have given a very quick and negative response.

Trump should have said, “let me think about it and now that I have thought about it hell no.” No commas. No spaces. No pauses. Maybe throw in another expletive. Instead, because he’s Donald Trump who puts his personal interests before those of the United States and engages in treasonous behavior, he said, “it’s an incredible offer.”

That was Monday. Later in the week, Sarah Huckabee Sanders said the president will “meet with his team” to mull over the “incredible offer.”

Even though nearly 80% of Republicans polled believe Trump’s Helsinki summit with Putin was a success, Republicans in elected offices had a little trouble swallowing the idea of handing Americans over to Putin.

The Senate voted 98-0 to approve a resolution introduced by Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) that the U.S. should “refuse to make available any current or former diplomat, civil servant, political appointee, law enforcement official, or member of the Armed Forces of the United States for questioning by the government of Vladimir Putin.” In other words, no. The Senate actually compromised and passed something in less time than it took Donald Trump to decide that handing American citizens over to Putin was a bad idea.

It took four days for Trump to reject Putin’s “incredible offer.” Huckabee Sanders said in a statement, “It is a proposal that was made in sincerity by President Putin, but President Trump disagrees with it.” It was made in “sincerity?”

One of the people Putin wants to be handed over is Obama’s ambassador to Russia, Michael McFaul. He said, “Most shocking, and just lamentable, I think is my real reaction, when the White House was given the opportunity to categorically reject this moral equivalency between a legitimate indictment with lots of data and evidence to support it from Mr. Mueller with a crazy, cockamamie scheme with no relationship to facts and reality whatsoever, the White House refused to do that.”

Bill Browder is an American-born British financier who successfully lobbied Congress to pass the Magnitsky Act, a law to punish Russian human rights violators. Putin has put out international warrants on him for years, which Interpol keeps rejecting. Despite giving up his American citizenship, Trump was still considering handing him over. Browder said the idea, “is probably one of the most insane things I’ve ever heard coming out of [Trump’s] mouth.” That’s a huge statement because a lot of crazy has come out of that mouth.

Browder summed up the situation best by saying, “What President Trump was saying is that he wants to take a bunch of loyal patriots, people who have given up money for government service to serve their nation, who have been protecting this nation against Russian interference, Russia organized crime, and he wants to hand them over to the Russian criminals. To hand me over to Putin is basically to hand me over to my death.”

Seeing as this one of the public disasters from Helsinki, one has to ask; Just what the hell did they agree to in their two-hour private meeting?

Trump will get another chance to suck up to Putin because; wait for it…he’s invited him to the White House. Obama didn’t grant Putin even one summit, and in less than two years Trump is going to give him two.

One current diplomat with the State Department said, “The president has first and foremost his interests at the top of his mind, as opposed to the government’s. That’s very clear over the past week and a half, between shitting on our NATO allies and kissing Putin’s ass. He cares more about himself than the nation and any of us who serve it.”

I saved the best for last. The diplomat (remember, he’s still working for Trump) also said, “Either he’s compromised by Putin or he’s a pussy, in which case he should grab himself.”

Thank you for your support. Reader contributions really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and the First Amendment, and independent journalism while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

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Like A Glove


cjones04272018

The Democratic National Committee is suing Wikileaks, Russia, and the Donald Trump presidential campaign for conspiring to disrupt the 2016 election in favor of Trump.

Republicans say this lawsuit is frivolous and without merit and seek to have it dismissed. While the House committee studying collusion between Trump and Russia say there isn’t any evidence, the facts say otherwise.

While on the campaign trail, Trump publicly asked Russia to get involved in the election and to hack into Clinton’s email. The Trump campaign hosted Russians in Trump Tower who were promising dirt on Hillary Clinton. Don Jr. and Roger Stone were both communicating with Wikileaks. Wikileaks even asked Don Jr. to provide some of Trump’s taxes, so they could release them and make it appear as though they weren’t playing favorites. That’s collusion and a conspiracy.

The best part about this is it allows discovery for the Democrats to seek internal documents and testimony from the Trump campaign. Republicans can claim it doesn’t have merit, but it’s a fact the Democrats’ computer system was hacked.

Republicans and Trump are also allowed discovery and will seek information about the Clinton campaign’s financing of the dossier, written by a former British spy, detailing Trump’s connections to Russia. The only problem with them seeking discovery about the dossier is, it’s already been discovered and it’s not illegal. Conducting an investigation on your opponent isn’t illegal and it’s done by every campaign. Case in point, the Trump campaign inviting Russians to Trump Tower (though, that one might have been illegal).

If the GOP fights this in court with the same intelligence they’ve exhibited in defending Trump’s collusion with Russia, they’re in trouble.

The Democrats are seeking millions from the defendants for their conspiracy. Donald Trump is now a co-defendant with Vladimir Putin. Sure, it’ll be tough, if not impossible, to get the Russians and Wikileaks to cooperate in the lawsuit, but that will probably weaken Trump’s defense even further. Plus, Russia is probably too busy to defend themselves from charges of hacking the 2016 election in favor of Republicans while they’re busying themselves by hacking the 2018 elections in favor of Republicans.

There is precedent for this. In 1972, the DNC sued the Nixon reelection campaign for the Watergate break-in. Republicans called that suit frivolous also, yet they settled for $750,000 on the day Nixon resigned from the presidency in 1974.

The suit doesn’t name Trump as a defendant, but it targets Donald Trump Jr, Jared Kushner, Paul Manafort and Manafort’s deputy during the campaign, Rick Gates. The suit points out that these individuals were aware of Russia’s attempt to meddle in the election and instead of reporting it to law enforcement, they gleefully accepted the help. Manafort will have to get permission from courts (that’s plural) to leave his house to defend himself in court. He’s already wearing TWO ankle bracelets because he’s a huge flight risk.

Before Trump makes history by being the first president taken down by a porn star, he’ll make it by being the first president required to wear an ankle bracelet. Maybe Ivanka can design matching bracelets for Trump, Don Jr, and Jared.

This case isn’t frivolous. The Russians hacked the DNC and it’s very clear Trump was their choice. The problem for Trump and the Republicans is that there is a bloody glove…and it fits.

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Sullying The Office


cjones04062018

Donald Trump is stupid. An excellent example of this is his belief that submitting to an interview with Robert Mueller will clear his name and end the Russia Investigation. Stupid. Perhaps the only people dumber and more gullible than Trump are those who voted for him.

While it’s fun to make light of Trump’s stupidity when he tells us what uranium is, or that healthcare is hard, or about the history of China and Korea, or that nobody knows the difference between community colleges and vocational schools, it is actually dangerous to our nation. It’s especially dangerous when Trump deals with Putin.

Combine Trump’s stupidity with his man-crush for Vladimir Putin, and the next thing you know the Russian dictator will be sitting in the Oval Office with his feet on the Resolute Desk.

Trump claims he’s been tougher on Russia than Obama.

Trump refused to accept our intelligence agencies’ analysis that Russia tampered in our election. He took Putin’s word over the FBI and CIA’s. He’s worked to discredit our Justice Department while they look into his collusion with Russia.

Trump refused to enact sanctions against Russia, and when he finally did it was only because he was forced by our allies when they placed their own sanctions and expelled Russian diplomats after the poisoning in England of a former Russia spy.

Trump talked to Putin after the sanctions were placed, and he failed to mention those or the poisoning, but he did congratulate Putin on winning his sham election.

Shortly after assuming office, Trump had the Russian ambassador and foreign minister in the Oval Office, at the request of Putin. No American press was allowed, but the Russians were able to bring in their photographers and recording equipment. They even told Trump the photos wouldn’t be published. Stupid and gullible. Now, Putin is playing that for his own invite.

Usually, when we discover a new twist in the Trump/Putin relationship, we learn it from Russia. Once again, Russia has reported that Trump invited Putin to the Oval Office during the congratulatory phone call.

You can’t say you’re tough on Russia, place sanctions on them, then invite their leader over for a playdate.

What better photo-op for Putin than from inside the Oval Office? This will be a huge sign to his people, and the world, that he won the American presidency.

Is Trump dumb enough to let Putin sit at the Resolute Desk for a photo? Yes.

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Do Not Congratulate


cjones03242018

If I invited you to come to a party with me, I don’t think I’d be required to preempt you from causing a disaster. You’re not so stupid that I’d have to warn you beforehand, do not pee in the punch bowl. That’s not the sort of thing I’d foresee happening.

Donald Trump, the guy who is currently president of the United States, is stupid. He is so stupid, his staff tries to prevent potential disasters by giving him note cards with instructions on what not to do.

Unfortunately for them, and the rest of us, Trump is such an idiot that it’s impossible to predict his next act of stupidity. Sure, you can predict he’ll say something racist, sexist, or childish. But there are some things that nobody could have predicted. A normal, semi-intelligent individual would not have to be given note cards saying “do not throw paper towels at hurricane survivors,” or “do not defend Nazis,” or “do not endorse a pedophile,” or “do not talk about sex to Boy Scouts.” There’s always some stupid you don’t see coming. Right after you think Trump can’t surprise you any more a year and two months into his presidency, the guy surprises you with a 6:00 AM tweet about beating up Joe Biden. Seriously. He did that this morning.

Even when you successfully predict the very exact stupid act Trump will pull, and you put it on a note card for him written in all caps, like “DO NOT CONGRATULATE,” it’s to no avail. Trump will be holding that card in his hand while he congratulates Vladimir Putin for winning a sham election. In addition to ignoring the warning, he’ll fail to bring up Russia poisoning a British citizen or meddling in our election. But, he will throw in another stupid surprise, like try to schedule a playdate with the Russian authoritarian without discussing it with his foreign policy team beforehand.

But, Trump is stupid. Fran Lebowitz said, “You do not know anyone as stupid as Donald Trump.”

Someone at the White House leaked the information to the press about the note cards with the warning in all caps. Trump and his chief-of-staff, John Kelly, are said to be very upset, though Kelly is suspect number one for many. Another suspect is National Security Adviser H.R. McMaster, who is said to be on the chopping block and hasn’t been getting along with Trump.

Trump has made everyone working in the West Wing sign a hush-clause to prevent them from talking about what happens in the White House. Why would Trump force people to sign a clause that can’t be enforced and probably isn’t legal? Because he doesn’t have any more respect for White House staffers than he does for porn stars. And, he’s really stupid.

I used to debate with colleagues about the intelligence of George W. Bush. While none of us thought he was the smartest man to ever occupy the Oval Office, there were arguments among liberals if he was misunderstood, maybe just a little slow, or an idiot without a village. With Trump, there is no disagreement among informed people (those who are paying attention) that he is an extremely stupid person.

Trump is so stupid, he doesn’t know how to cut-and-paste. He tweeted a quote from Alan Dershowitz criticizing the Special Counsel, and Trump misspelled “Counsel” three times.

One problem with giving Trump notes is that he can’t really read. He’s semi-literate. He probably didn’t sign his pseudonym on the porn-star-hush contract because he can’t spell “David.”

The one fortunate thing about Trump’s stupidity is that he’s going to indict himself if he hasn’t already.  I am looking forward to the day when someone who cares about Trump hands him a note card saying, “DO NOT DROP THE SOAP.”

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button. Thank you!

Rooty Tooty For Pootie


cjones02232018

I was scrolling through my news feed on Facebook a few hours ago and I noticed one of my conservative friends created a post with a complaint. This friend, we’ll call her Allie because that’s her real name, was upset because she had posted a news story only to have it removed by Facebook. She posted it three times and three times Facebook had removed it.

Why would Facebook remove her post? Probably because it was a conspiracy theory generated by Russian bots from one of their troll farms. The story was about the children from the Parkland shooting who are voicing out for gun control, and how they’re actually paid actors.  The story is such garbage that Donald Trump will probably retweet it later. He’s retweeted from Russian bots before.

Donald Trump is an idiot, but Allie is not. Allie, however, does find confirmation bias too delicious to pass up or to confirm. Who cares if it’s advancing the goals of a hostile nation intent to tearing ours apart? Did you hear about the Washington pizza parlor?

They call it a troll farm for a reason. The Russians are creating trolls and Allie has allowed herself to become one. Many of these people are unwittingly hurting our nation. Others are aware and just don’t care. Screw pride, principles, and ethics. Did you hear that the Pope endorsed Trump?

First off, they hurt our nation by voting for Donald Trump. Earlier this week, a Trump supporter, we’ll call Gary because that’s his real name, told me he voted for the lesser of two evils. I pointed out that the lesser of two evils is not the candidate supported by Vladimir Putin. Gary, who is a veteran and considers himself a patriot, told me he doesn’t need voting tips from someone of my persuasion. Never mind that Gary’s allowing himself to be persuaded by Putin. Did you hear about Obama bugging Trump Tower?

It’s not just confirmation bias that moves these people to support Russia over the United States. It’s their partisanship, which is apparently more important than national security. National security was an important issue to them and one of the biggest reasons they cite for voting against Hillary Clinton, for who they chanted “lock her up” because of her email server. Now that Donald Trump has given classified information to Russians who were hanging out in the Oval Office, and he has over 100 staffers in the White House who can’t get a security clearance, national security doesn’t seem that important anymore. Did you read the Nunes memo?

Russia is dirty. They helped Donald Trump cheat to win the presidency. They’re so dirty, that because of doping their Olympic athletes can’t even compete under their nation’s flag. They’re so dirty that even their curling team is doping. I thought doping would be for watching curling, not playing it.

To Trump supporters, stop sharing fake news. Stop helping a hostile nation destroy ours. They’re still attacking us and you, unlike Trump, should stop helping them.

Root for the home team.

Here’s the video. Please subscribe.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

Dopey Defenders


cjones12132017

Russia is officially banned from the 2018 Olympics set in Pyeongchang, South Korea, which shows that the International Olympic Committee has more backbone and intestinal fortitude than Republican members of Congress, Fox News, and the President of the United States.

Russia peed all over the 2014 Winter Olympics, which was a lot more dignified than what they did to our presidential election. It was like hackers wearing sterilized gloves.

Russia didn’t just send athletes to test with someone else’s urine. Russians actually got into the laboratory in Sochi and manipulated the tests. Experts say they haven’t seen doping this widespread since the East Germans did it throughout the 1960s, ’70s and ’80s. That’s a lot of commie pee.

Putin has scoffed at the accusations which is probably good enough for Donald Trump. Putin also denied meddling in our election and that was all the authority our president needed on the issue.

Since Trump, Republicans, and the idiots at Fox News have chosen Russian nationalism over American security, I’m surprised they’re not mounting a vigorous defense of Russia and expressing outrage at the injustice heaped upon them. Trump sycophants have attacked the FBI, the Special Counsel, the press and anyone else who has tried to look into Russia’s meddling in the presidential election and collusion with the Trump campaign. The main strategy is to deflect by screaming for investigations into the investigators, and more investigations for Hillary Clinton.

Russian athletes who receive special dispensation to compete will do so as individuals wearing a neutral uniform, and the official record books will forever show that Russia won zero medals. I guess that means they won’t be allowed to wear their Trump T-Shirts.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Facebook’s Collusion


cjones09092017

At this rate, I’m kinda expecting a revelation that Mark Zuckerberg was at the Donald Trump Jr. Russian meeting.

Like you, I’m constantly annoyed with Facebook while utilizing it on a daily basis. The bothersome stuff, while annoying me, doesn’t affect my life in the slightest…or it didn’t until now.

I’m the type of person where a messed-up food order at McDonald’s won’t faze me, while I’ll watch a good friend of mine use the opportunity to go ballistic, and the next thing you know he returns an hour later from his food run with my Big Mac and the full story on how he unloaded what-for and made a 16-year-old struggling with acne cry. While I’ll get over that there are pickles on my sandwich, other little things will totally piss me off.

I’m annoyed with the petty stuff on Facebook. Your food pictures irk me. Why do you do that? Am I supposed to be impressed you ordered sushi? Do you want an “attaboy?” One of my friends posts nearly every single meal she eats. She once posted a picture of cereal. I shit you not. But c’mon. Any doofus with opposable thumbs can put a sandwich together.

Another annoyance; vacation pictures. Vacation slides have been joked about, derided, and hated ever since the photo slide technology was invented. It was why people in the 1970s couldn’t get their friends to come to their dinner parties. Nobody wants to see your vacation photos. I’m telling you this as your friend. Cut it out. You have turned Facebook into one, long, boring vacation slide. I don’t even need to know you went on vacation, but if I do know then I’m going to assume you enjoyed yourself. I don’t need the pictures of you giving the devil-horn sign with your tongue out while you’re at Sandals. I’m not against vacations and I hope to take one again someday…but if I do take one, I know without a doubt that nobody is going to need evidence that it actually happened. OK, maybe in my case they will.

Tagging your location isn’t just annoying, it’s stupid. Like the vacation pics, you’re just bragging about how great your life is, and convincing no one. What you’re actually doing is making stalking you very convenient and alerting burglars that right now is a great time to break into your house. And thanks to Facebook they know what breed of dog you have.

Other annoyances are game requests (I don’t want to play Candy Crush with you), Facebook Live notifications (I get these things from people I didn’t even know I was friends with), the vague post (which are the only type of posts my teenage nieces give and I never respond to, because I’m afraid they’ll tell me), the social experiments (the “let’s see how far this posts can go” and the “if you love Jesus, you’ll share.” Fuck you), pokes (people still do that and I still don’t know why), selfies (We get it. You’re pretty and insecure), and political memes. I hate political memes. I could easily write another 1,000 words ranting about political memes.

Some people hate political posts or that cartoonist who shares his cartoons every time one of his clients publishes them online. You have every right to hate those and, you can bite me.

But now, there is something annoying about Facebook that may have affected our lives. Russians.

Facebook was the target for Russian trolls and useful idiots sharing fake news during the campaign, but Facebook assured us that no foreign outlets were purchasing ads from them. And just like every single member of the Trump campaign, they had collusion with Russia that they conveniently forgot about.

Now, it turns out that $100,000 was spent on political campaign ads that Facebook has traced back to a “Russian Troll Farm.” I don’t want the troll farm image in my head, but I think that crop is yielding in the White House. Also, expect more revelations about Russian ads. I don’t believe for a minute that it stopped at $100,000.

Russians didn’t just purchase a few ads. They engineered these things to select certain demographics and particular regions. For example, white housewives in Wisconsin. Investigators want to know if they had any help from U.S. political operatives who may have pointed them in which direction to target these demographics. Maybe, but the American operatives working for Hillary Clinton weren’t smart enough to go after demographics in Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania. Anyone with a basic understanding of math with a copy of an electoral map should know where to target political ads, and where the stupid people live.

Most of all, I believe this destroys an argument Republicans and people in American intelligence agencies have been using. That argument is; Russian meddling had no effect on the outcome of our election.

Facebook says the Russians used the ads to “manipulate.” No shit, Sherlock. Every ad in the world is created to manipulate. How many will purchase a Kia this year because of Motorhead and a guinea pig? I don’t know, but someone somewhere believes that’s going to happen because they put a lot of money into that campaign.

Whether someone’s pitching Coca-Cola or Donald Trump, they’re not spending ad money just to blow through a budget. They expect results. I do believe that if a high tide throws an octopus into the backseat of my car through the sunroof that Farmers insurance won’t let me down….or that if I have Allstate then my children will be better behaved while we stand gleaming and lovingly together in front of the Statue of Liberty. But, not every ad works that well. Like, Domino’s telling you that their pizza doesn’t suck anymore, or Panera telling me that their salads are “clean,” or that new car commercial giving me the impression that I’ll find riding in a boxcar with hobos much more comfortable than their automobile.

The Russians expected their ads to work. They wanted chaos for their money and nobody can say that we didn’t get chaos. Nobody can say the Russians didn’t get the election results they wanted. We got a hell of a lot more than $100,000 worth of chaos.

I believe the Russians affected our election. We are a nation that gave us Duck Dynasty and Honey Boo-Boo, but I’m not entirely convinced that we’re dumb enough to elect Donald Trump as president on our own. I’d like to think we’d need a push. I know there’s a large portion of our nation who can be manipulated to vote for fuckery. We’re stupid. But are we stupid enough to do this on our own?

Mark Zuckerberg and all the other Facebook executives want us to believe they had no influence on the election. I’d try to believe that too if I wanted to sleep well at night. But, Facebook is worth over $435 billion dollars. Your social media platform doesn’t acquire that much wealth without it having some influence.

Unfortunately, Facebook isn’t just cat and food pictures. It’s a news outlet for many of us. It’s very influential. It’s also complicit.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.