Russia

Attacking America


cjones12222020

There is concern during every presidential transition that our enemies may take advantage or test us. The objectives may be to advance an agenda against us while no one is paying much attention, to test the incoming administration to see how much they can get away with, or an excellent opportunity to grab some shit, like intel in a data hack…or Ukraine.

All our intelligence agencies agree Russia is the culprit behind a huge hack into American government and industry. Experts say this is the greatest cybersecurity breach in our nation’s history and yet, our government didn’t catch it. It was caught by a private firm when their system was hacked. To understand the extent of the attack, government agencies aren’t approaching our national security establishment, but instead, they’re going to Microsoft.

Microsoft is the same company that couldn’t get my address correct, so instead of delivering my $2,000 Surface Pro to me (under warranty), they dropped it off on the doorstep of a stabby-looking guy with a face tattoo. Good luck working with Microsoft.

This has been an excellent time for Russia to attack our infrastructure and computer system. Usually during transitions, all the experts are polishing up their resumes…in the case of Trump appointees, adding a lot of bullshit. So they’re preoccupied on their upcoming unemployment and won’t pay much attention to a cyber attack. Attack on our cybersecurity? Whatever. Is the ability to use chop sticks a job skill?

But in addition to Trump appointees not doing much about the Russia hack, the president (sic) only got around to mentioning it yesterday…naturally, in a tweet.

Since the election, Donald Trump hasn’t talked about anything except the election. He’s only left the White House to play golf and conduct one hate rally in Georgia. We’re losing about 3,000 people a day to the coronavirus and he hasn’t said anything about that. The only thing he’s said about the vaccine is that he doesn’t want Joe Biden to get credit for it (from the guy who took credit for Obama’s economy). And, he’s atually messing up the distribution of the vaccine. But when it comes to Russia, Trump has always deflected.

Trump mocks people concerned about Russia and treats them like Jan Brady and says, “Russia, Russia, Russia.” Donald Trump ignored their meddling in the 2016 election. He voluntarily gave them national security secrets in the Oval Office. He’s had aides destroy notes taken during his one-on-one meetings with Putin. He adopted Putin’s bullshit reasoning for Russia’s invasion of Afghanistan in 1979, claiming it was to stop terrorism. He took Vladimir Putin’s word over American national security agencies over Russia’s meddling. He ignored reports that Putin was paying bounties for dead U.S. soldiers.

So after a week of reports that Putin is hacking into our security system, what did Trump have to say about it? He tweeted that everything is “under control.” The media is “exaggerating it.” He said, “Russia, Russia, Russia.” He blamed China and said the real concern was if they hacked into the Dominion voting machines.

So basically, the United States is being attacked and Donald Trump is using it for more conspiracy theories about the election?

Of course Donald Trump isn’t going to defend America. As we’ve seen over the past four years, Donald Trump only cares about Donald Trump. How can anyone expect Donald Trump to defend America from Russia when he’s attacking America? Look what he’s done to the post office and our election. Donald Trump is helping Putin destroy the United States.

Donald Trump doesn’t defend America. He defends himself, convicts, pedophiles, and Putin.

Over the past week, convicted felon and Trump-pardoned goon General Michael Flynn floated the idea of enacting martial law and using the military to overturn the election. Here’s my conspiracy theory: Flynn is floating this idea because it came from the White House.

Lawyer Sidney Powell was on Rudy Giuliani’s legal team losing court case after case. She floated several ridiculous conspiracy theories to the point that she was removed from the legal team and the Trump Campaign lied and said they never had any association with her…despite her speaking and standing next to Rudy at his idiotic press conferences. Fortunately for Sidney, she was removed from Rudy’s side before the farts came.

It was her lie that the deceased Hugo Chavez and Venezuela corrupted Dominion voting machines that had her removed from the Trump team. So…since she was removed, why was she in an Oval Office meeting Friday? Sidney Powell being in the White House is almost as surprising as Georgia governor Brian Kemp being there for a Christmas party after Trump called for him to be imprisoned. Hope Kemp got to ask Santa for a spine.

Sidney Powell was never removed from the Trump legal team. She was just pushed aside out of the view of cameras. Like Flynn, she’s floating ideas before Trump endorses them. According to reports, Donald Trump is giving up on the Justice Department appointing a special counsel to investigate election fraud that didn’t happen…in favor of appointing his own special counsel from the White House. That’s not even a thing.

Donald Trump has no authority to appoint a special counsel…just like he doesn’t have authority to enact martial law to overturn an election, or to use the military in martial law. What Donald Trump does have the authority to do is grant a security clearance to any unqualified fucknut he deems necessary to help him act out his corruption, like Jared and Ivanka. Now, he wants to give a security clearance to Sidney Powell and appoint her as the special counsel to investigate the election. Maybe when she’s done, she can help OJ find the real killers.

The election has been called. Every state has certified the results. There was no mass voter fraud. We had an election upon the Constitution’s legal guidelines. We had the states certify per the Constitution’s guidelines. We had the electoral college meet per the Constitution’s guidelines. Joe Biden is the president-elect and will be president on January 20, 2021. The military can’t be used to enact martial law to overturn and rerun an election, which is un-Constitutional and illegal. It’s un-American. It’s un-democratic. There is no other way to describe it other than as a coup. Donald Trump is attacking America.

Donald Trump, Sidney Powell, Rudy Giuliani, and all those other fucking Republicans supporting his election fraud scam are conducting sedition and trying to turn this nation into a fascist state.

And even though the military has spoken out against being used in martial law, how do we know those generals won’t be removed and replaced by the likes of Michael Flynn? How do we know Donald Trump isn’t talking about that?

Protect us from Russia? Yes, we need to be protected from Russia but we also need to be protected from Donald Trump and the Republican Party.

Quite frankly, I won’t breathe easy until after January 20, 2021, when Joe Biden is in the Oval Office and Trump is toilet-tweeting from Mar-a-Lago.

Notes on signed prints: Order now if you want to send a print of one my cartoons, signed by me, to a loved one…or even better yet, to a conservative family member who you probably don’t love anymore. They’ll never forget it. The signed prints are just $40.00 each. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal and want to snail mail it, email me (clayjonz@gmail.com) so we can make sure your print gets to its recipient in time. I can mail the prints directly to you or to the person you’re gifting.

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Rudy Colludy


cjones10232020

Rudy is still at it. Despite the arguments during Donald Trump’s impeachment hearings that everything was on the up-and-up with their asking Ukraine for election help, Rudy is still mining that nation for fools gold.

Now, Rudy has acquired a laptop he claims belongs to Hunter Biden. He took it to The New York Post with a shady story no other news outlet would accept. This story didn’t even land on Fox News first. Hell, even the National Enquirer didn’t go for it.

Basically, there’s an email in the laptop supposedly between Hunter Biden and an official from Burisma, the Ukrainian energy company Hunter worked for, that claims a meeting was held between him and then-Vice President Joe Biden in 2015. Yet, there is no evidence or public records of any such meeting. A vice-president’s schedule is usually on a public record. Yet, for some stupid reason, the FBI is still investigating it. Maybe because Donald Trump is screaming for his political opponent to be arrested, even though he can’t specify any crimes.

The reporter who wrote the story refused to have his name attached to it. Other journalists at the Post have protested their publication’s running of a story that doesn’t meet journalistic ethic requirements…and this is The New York Post.

The back story is: An owner of a computer repair shop in Delaware claims the laptop was dropped off by Hunter Biden, but his eyesight is poor so he’s not sure Hunter dropped it off. It could have been the Cookie Monster for all he knows. The computer was water damaged and for some reason, there’s no story about Hunter or anyone returning to retrieve the computer. Then, the owner saw the email and contacted Rudy Giuliani.

There’s a lot that smells here. The owner of the shop went through the private emails on the hard drive? The owner of the shop gave the hard drive or computer to be used politically? And, the owner doesn’t know who his customer is? If you live in Delaware, find out where this computer repair shop is and NEVER EVER EVER EVER give them your business.

Also, Hunter is a rich dude. Typically, if a laptop messes up or is seriously damaged, you’d just trash it, even way back in 2015. I’m a poor dude and I have three useless laptops in my closet. The only reason a guy like Hunter Biden would take a laptop in to be repaired would be because there’s something important on there he needs, and it wouldn’t be emails because you can just get those off whichever server you’re using. But, that can’t be the case because he never returned to pick it up. The story about dropping it off at a repair shop doesn’t make sense.

It doesn’t make sense The New York Post ran with it. The only story the press should run with this is that the guy we used to call “America’s mayor” and who is a former federal prosecutor, is now pushing bogus crazy uncle Qanon-type conspiracy theories. What has Rudy Colludy done now? Rudy’s even saying that America needs to know this Hunter Biden laptop story, even if it’s not true.

Hey, America needs to know that Rudy Giuliani married his second cousin, whether it’s true or not. Spoiler alert: It’s true.

Is this how Rudy used to prosecute cases? Your Honor, we don’t know who did it, who owns the laptop, if there was a meeting, and if there was, what it was about, and we don’t have any reliable witnesses…but we think there was somebody who did something bad and Joe Biden is connected to it somehow…I have a feeling about these sorts of things, also…I need a DNA test on some demon sperm.

It doesn’t make sense the FBI is investigating the story. Are they going to investigate chemtrails next? Maybe the FBI should look into the Qanon theory about cannibalistic pedophiliac Democrats worshipping Satan.

It doesn’t make sense Rudy hasn’t been arrested…or the computer shop owner. Rudy is running around with stolen property. Now, there are reports he’s taking it to a local police department in Delaware which also doesn’t make sense if the FBI is already on it. Also, why doesn’t that police department arrest Rudy as soon as he shows up with stolen property? And Rudy can’t say he’s holding onto it for evidence because Rudy is no authority. He’s a private citizen…who’s insane.

Rudy isn’t just on Trump’s leash. He’s on Putin’s. America’s mayor is now Putin’s poodle.

What else doesn’t make sense is that Jeffrey Toobin story… Yeah, that’s just weird. Who does that?

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Ratty Intel


cjones09072020

John Ratcliffe is the Director of National Intelligence. Why? It’s not because of his experience in national security matters. It’s not because of any experience he has in being intelligent. It’s because he’s a sycophant to Donald Trump.

When he was being considered for the job, then-Congressman Ratcliffe lied about his experience in prosecuting terrorism and immigration cases. He also spread lies that Russian interference in the 2016 election was designed, not to help Donald Trump, but instead to help Hillary Clinton. Seriously.

He’s accused the FBI of being biased against Donald Trump. After the Mueller Report came out, Ratcliffe claimed it wasn’t written by Robert Mueller but…you’re going to love this…Hillary Clinton’s “de facto legal team.” Yeah, this guy is de-facts alright.

Now, Ratcliffe has decided to “scale back” intelligence briefings to Congress. Why? He claims it’s because of leaks and now there will only be written briefings. Uh, how will leaks stop if they’re only written? Hell, if anything, you’ve done the leakers’ work for them by typing it out already. Trust me. Typesetting is a pain.

We’re not actually aware of any leaks from Congress about U.S. intelligence. Ratcliffe wouldn’t describe any. If there are leaks, they’re just as likely to come out of the White House or Ratcliffe’s own office, you know, since he doesn’t have any experience with intelligence and I’m sure the people around him are more sycophants than career intelligence professionals.

During the 2016 election, President Obama chose not to go public with Russia’s meddling in our election which he knew was in favor of Donald Trump. He requested the Senate to join him in issuing a statement condemning Russia’s actions and that it wouldn’t be tolerated, but Mitch McConnell refused to participate. Why? Because Moscow Mitch knew Russia meddling was designed to help Donald Trump. After the election, McConnell and other Republicans criticized President Obama for not going public with the information.

President Obama did not want to make a statement and appear to be assisting the Clinton campaign. Now, Donald Trump just doesn’t care how anything appears.

He’s obligated to Vladimir Putin. He’s afraid to say anything negative about him. When it was pointed out that Putin killed his critics, Trump’s defense of Putin was to insult the United States. He’s taken Putin’s word over our Intelligence agencies. He’s ignoring reports Putin put bounties on the heads of American troops. He’s not just ignoring Russia’s current meddling, he’s trying to cover it up.

There was a report this week that Russia is behind a new campaign of raising questions about Joe Biden’s mental stability. It’s the same campaign Donald Trump has about Biden’s mental stability. 

When Attorney General William Barr was interviewed by Wolf Blitzer this week, Barr claimed China was a larger threat to our election than Russia which is bullshit.

Like most Trump appointees, Ratcliffe is more interested in blind obedience to Trump than in doing his job. Speaker Nancy Pelosi may force him to do his job with a subpoena. Trump and Ratcliffe don’t want Congress to know about Russian meddling in this election. And they don’t want to do anything to protect our election.

Ratcliffe has the job of protecting the United States and he’s refusing to do it. Donald Trump also has a job of protecting the United States and he’s refusing to do it.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Nyet Intelligence


cjones07092020

It’s very hard to believe our intelligence agencies did not inform the president (sic) of the United States about Russia paying the Taliban bounties for killing American troops in Afghanistan.

Granted, if this was included in Donald Trump’s daily briefings, before they told him of this scheme by Putin, they’d have to explain where Afghanistan is, who the Taliban are, and repeat once again that Russia and Vladimir Putin are the fucking bad guys.

According to inside sources, the intel was included in his daily briefings. What’s being questioned now is whether it was read to him or just left in the written report for him to find it by himself…which would never happen. Just from the logistics of his rate of tweets and golf, when would he have the time to read? Plus, have you heard him read from a teleprompter? Reading is very difficult for him. If Donald Trump is going to hear about anything, it has to be on Fox or tweeted by a Nazi.

There is speculation the intelligence community had qualms about presenting this information to Donald Trump at all, which might be why it would be in the written report, knowing he’d never read it.

No president has had as many former staffers as Donald Trump has who tell us he’s really bad at this stuff. What kind of stuff? The kind of stuff that involves foreign policy and intelligence. You know…presidenting.

But, the other major concern is Donald Trump would share this information with Putin. And, that’s not just a silly concern that can be easily pushed aside. Donald Trump has given Russians classified information in the past. He’s tweeted classified information in the past.

Shortly after taking office, Donald Trump invited Russians into the Oval Office, allowed their press with their recording equipment in, and kicked out the American press. There, Donald Trump gave the Russian ambassador and essentially their Foreign Minister (their Secretary of State) intelligence about a planned operation by ISIS in Syria. What’s even worse is, it wasn’t our intelligence. It was given to us by Israel. Donald Trump betrayed the American intelligence community, our allies fighting with us in Syria against ISIS, and our allies. Did he do it to commit treason? No. He did it out of stupidity. He is subservient to Russia and was trying to show off. As our Secretary of State at that time said, he’s a fucking moron.

A top European diplomat said Trump’s sharing of classified information with Russia would force them to stop sharing information with us because sharing intel with Americans while Trump is president (sic) could put their sources at risk.

A member of Germany’s intelligence agency said if Trump “passes this information to other governments at will, then Trump becomes a security risk for the entire western world.”

When Donald Trump met with Vladimir Putin at a global conference, he went out of his schedule for an impromptu chat with the Russian totalitarian without anyone from our side with him. He relied on Putin’s translator. He didn’t bring a U.S. translator or anyone to take notes.

When he had an official meeting with Putin in Finland (which is NOT a part of Russia as he believed), he kicked all U.S. personnel out of the room except an American interpreter. After the meeting, he confiscated the interpreter’s notes. Why didn’t he want anyone to know what he and Putin talked about? Maybe they talked about that penthouse Trump offered to Putin during the 2016 presidential campaign in an effort to construct a Trump Tower in Moscow. Maybe he talked about Russia’s meddling in 2016. Maybe he talked about their meddling in 2020. Maybe he got all his ideas about Ukraine and Democrats from that meeting. Maybe they talked about the pee tape.

And, when he and Putin addressed the press, he took Putin’s side over American intelligence about whether or not Russia attacked our elections.

In 2017, he told the president of the Philippines, Rodrigo Duterte, another fascist, the location of two U.S. nuclear submarines off the coast of North Korea. This information is so tight that normally the only people who know for certain the submarines’ locations are the captains of those submarines.

After the bombing of a concert in Manchester in the United Kingdom in 2017, Trump leaked to the press details of the case, the main suspect, and even images of the bomb used. The British government was pissed as it compromised their case and British police said they would stop passing information to their U.S. counterparts.

Last year, Donald Trump tweeted an image of an Iranian missile that had been damaged from an explosion during takeoff. What this image revealed were our highly classified surveillance capabilities to take such a photo.

This is why I’m sure there are no dead alien bodies at Roswell. Donald Trump would have tweeted out photos. Also, we still don’t know who killed JFK because Trump would have shared that too. Unless our intelligence isn’t giving that information to Trump.

The information on Putin’s bounties was passed to our British allies, who we can trust more than the American president (sic). If the British got it from us, then it was made available to Donald Trump, but they may not have pointed it out to him.

It’s a sickening thought that Donald Trump is president (sic) and classified information protecting this nation is given to him. It’s sickening he can declassify anything he wants as president (sic). It’s sickening he has the nuclear football which he allows Mar-a-Lago guests to pose with. It’s sickening that one time, he actually held an intelligence briefing with guests present at Mar-a-Lago. Seriously. He did that.

The funny thing is, everyone who complained about Hillary’s server have never expressed concern over Trump’s leaky treasonous mouth.

Our allies don’t want to share classified information with us. Our intelligence network, who Trump has attacked and rebuked and sided with Putin over, doesn’t want to share intelligence with the president of the United States (sic).

That’s because Donald Trump is a national security risk.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Donald Trump’s Beautiful Treason


cjones07012020

Donald Trump’s administration is so inept, their coverups are often nearly as bad as the crimes.

When you heard Russian President Vladimir Putin put out bounties for the Taliban to kill U.S. troops in Afghanistan and Donald Trump didn’t do anything about it except continue to invite him to the G7, and your first thought was, “How do I defend this?”, then you’ve failed as a patriot and an American.

Granted you sold your soul to Donald Trump a long time ago but at this point, you’re way past the point of no return.

U.S. Intelligence, which Donald Trump doesn’t trust, uncovered months ago Russia was paying bounties to the Taliban to kill American troops. According to The New York Times, Donald Trump was briefed on this last March. Donald Trump has done nothing…until today.

What did Donald Trump do about it today? He said he was never briefed about it. This is where the coverup is nearly as bad as the crime. and again, Donald Trump is a liar.

Why wasn’t the president (sic) briefed about a hostile nation paying bounties to kill Americans? If this is true, did our Intelligence not trust Donald Trump with this information? If Barack Obama was still president…or anyone else was president other than Donald Trump, he or she would have been briefed. That president would have been expected to defend our nation. That president would have been expected to defend American soldiers. This president (sic) is expected to fail Americans and only concern himself with himself.

Donald Trump is more concerned about defending Confederate statues than U.S. troops. Why, he’s actually enacted penalties for those who attack statues of traitors. Putin? Donald Trump hasn’t tweeted anything against him yet. It helps Putin that he’s not black.

Everything Donald Trump claims he is is a lie. He’s not a good businessman. He’s not a good negotiator. He’s not a good Christian. He’s not a good husband. He’s not a good father. And, he’s not a good American. He pays a lot of lip service to supporting our troops, but he’s never really done so. He claimed P.O.W.s are not heroes and he feuds with Gold Star families. If he wins reelection, he will pull every American troop off the Korean peninsula and abandon NATO.

When it comes to despots, he takes their side over that of U.S. Intelligence. He sides with criminals and spies over “law and order.” He even defends dictators for murdering Americans like he did with Kim Jong Un’s murder of Otto Warmbier. “Kim says he feels bad about it.” I’m expecting a “Putin says he didn’t do it” over this bounty thing real soon.

Earlier this year, four Americans were killed in a car bomb in Afghanistan. Last year, 22 Americans were killed in combat in Afghanistan. I’m no math expert but I counted, and I’m pretty sure 26 is more than four. Why is that significant? Because every Republican in the nation were livid and went apeshit over the four deaths in Benghazi. The Republican-lead House held hearing after hearing on Benghazi. Hillary Clinton as a candidate for president was forced to testify for 11 hours at a House hearing. What have Republicans today said about this new information regarding Russia, the Taliban, and Trump sleeping on it? Nothing.

Now, every Republican must turn against this president (sic). And I’m not just talking about the ones on TV. I’m not just talking about the Never Trumpers or the guys behind the Lincoln Project. I’m not just talking about Kellyanne’s husband. I’m talking about every Republican. Every senator, representative, and governor needs to come out and publicly reject Donald Trump.

Donald Trump has failed America and sold out troops out for his personal little feelings. He’s sold our troops out for his man-crush on Putin. How anyone can still respect that abject failure of a human being is beyond me. Everyone who still rejects this traitor repulses me.

This man has failed with the coronavirus and has cost us more lives. He has put his tiny frail ego before the safety of the American public. Now, he’s turning a blind eye to Vladimir Putin murdering Americans. How much soul does each Republican have left for this guy? How much do you have left for him?

Donald Trump, who is more concerned for ratings and showmanship than being president, is probably concerned over naming for this latest scandal. “Bountygate” is already taken.

A lot of us, and hopefully the majority, are working to save this nation from Donald Trump. If you’re a Trump supporter…still…we’re more than happy to do it without you. In fact, we’re working to save this nation from you.

Some of us love this country more than any individual political leader. Black Lives Matter protesting in the streets and taking down statues of traitors love this country more than you. They defend this country more than you do.

If you love Donald Trump more than America, you should leave. I hope Russia has Kool-Aid.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Fartsy Foreign Meddling


cjones02282020

I have this belief that if Donald Trump wins reelection, he’ll pull the United States out of NATO, he’ll invite Vladimir Putin to the White House, and he’ll withdraw all American forces off the Korean peninsula.

I don’t have this belief because I’m suffering from imaginary Trump Derangement Syndrome. I believe this because there are reports he’s voiced out loud about doing all three. In regards to Korea, he now has another reason. A film from South Korea won an Oscar for best picture. For some reason, that really pisses Donald Trump off.

At a racist fucknut rally yesterday, Donald Trump stood up to defend the American film industry from foreign attacks. I don’t really get it. He railed against the film “Parasite,” a South Korean production that you would have to watch with subtitles unless you speak Korean. “Parasite” is the first foreign-language film to win Best Picture.

Trump said to the adoring racist masses, “And the winner is a movie from South Korea, what the hell was that all about? We got enough problems with South Korea with trade. On top of it, they give them the best movie of the year? Was it good? I don’t know.” He then asked, “Can we get ‘Gone With the Wind’ back, please?” and also name-checked “Sunset Boulevard.” What’s next? Complain that James Woods has never won an Oscar? I haven’t actually looked that up but I am that confident he hasn’t won one.

Donald Trump doesn’t understand how anything works. “Gone With the Wind” won an Oscar for Best Picture in 1940, thus it’s not eligible to win one in 2020. “Sunset Boulevard” came out in 1950. But if Trump’s going to campaign for any movie, perhaps he should look into “Dumb and Dumber.”

Neon, the U.S. film production and distribution company backing “Parasite,” replied with, “Understandable. He can’t read,” referencing the film’s subtitles. The Democratic National Committee took the same tack with, “‘Parasite’ is a foreign movie about how oblivious the ultrarich are about the struggles of the working class, and it requires two hours of reading subtitles. Of course, Trump hates it.” And he hates it without even having seen it. But then again, he has an opinion about everything he doesn’t know anything about. I bet he has a lot of them on the G spot.

I’m not sure why he’s going after a foreign film winning an Oscar since he’s not a big fan of recent U.S. films either. But at least he’s trying to protect something American. When it comes to Russian meddling in our elections, past and present, he doesn’t care. A foreign power attacking our democratic process, he goes four years without mentioning. South Koreans winning an Oscar, that he mentions.

After acting-Director of National Intelligence Joseph Maguire briefed Congress on Russia interfering in the 2020 election to help Trump, Donald Trump got upset and viewed Maguire as disloyal. Trump is afraid Democrats will use the information against him in the election. For Trump, using the fact he’s accepting foreign help is worse than him using foreign help, and the Director of National Intelligence is supposed to be more loyal to him than to America.

Donald Trump, who has told his minions that he wants to remove people from government who are not loyal to him, is now removing Maguire and replacing him with a loyal Trump goon. Maguire is a career official who is respected by the intelligence rank and file. Trump is replacing him with Richard Grennell, who is the current ambassador to Germany (was disappointed to find out the Nazis are gone) and has zero experience with intelligence. In fact, he’s more fond of carrying water for Trump’s conspiracy theories. There’s also talk of eventually making Congressman Doug Collins the permanent Director, who is also a bigger proponent of Trump conspiracy theories than facts.

In fact, during the briefing to Congress delivered by Shelby Pierson, the American intelligence community’s top election security official, Republicans accused the briefers of trying to sabotage Trump. Then, Devin Nunes went running to Donald Trump to tell him about it and warn him that Adam Schiff, lead impeachment manager and Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, was in the room. Reportedly, Trump went off the rails at Maguire before firing him. Now there are reports that Pierson may be leaving also. Maybe Nunes is also the one to tell Trump about “Parasite.”

Donald Trump is worried this information will be used against him, which would be legal. But we don’t need this briefing to know Russia is helping Donald Trump win reelection. We already knew this. Trump’s supporters may always use the defense of “Russia, Russia, Russia” while rolling their eyes, but the rest of the nation takes our security seriously. The rest of us are more loyal to our country than to an orange cult leader. Also, Vladimir Putin already told us he wanted Trump to win in 2016, so duh.

Donald Trump doesn’t like “Parasite,” because it’s about a family posing as something they’re not to get into a house where they don’t belong. But the most ironic thing is, he is a parasite. Personally, I don’t mind reading for two hours so I’m going to watch “Parasite.”

A family posing as something they’re not to get into a house where they don’t belong? I really need to know how it ends.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

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Putin’s Minions


cjones12052019

Senator John Kennedy from Louisiana is not a stupid man. If you’ve seen him question Trump’s nominees to the judiciary, you know he’s no Cindy Hyde-Smith. But if you’ve seen him on news shows recently talking about foreign governments meddling in the 2016 presidential election, you’ll think he’s very confused.

A week ago, he went on Fox News and said Ukraine meddled in the election in favor of Hillary Clinton. The next day, he went on CNN and said he couldn’t understand the questions on Fox and he misspoke. Russia was the only nation that meddled in the election. Last week, he was stating it was Russia AND Ukraine. He said it was a “fact” that Ukraine’s former president got involved in our last election to help Hillary Clinton.

It’s not true. Sure, a lot of Ukrainian government officials weren’t in love with Donald Trump, a candidate who didn’t just express an affinity for Russian President Vladimir Putin, but also indicated he didn’t have any problem with that nation invading and taking land from Ukraine. Of course, they didn’t like Donald Trump. Not liking someone is not proof of meddling. If it was, then nearly every world leader meddled in the last election (in case you’re a Republican, it’s because most world leaders don’t like Donald Trump).

There is no proof, nothing, nada, zip, that Ukraine meddled in our last election. There are no “facts” that support Kennedy’s claim that the former President of Ukraine got involved in the presidential election. None. Every intelligence agency of the United States has stated Russia meddled in the election. At this very moment, there are court cases proceeding against Russians in this nation for meddling in our election. There are none against Ukrainians. Fact, fact, fuckity fact. And, John Kennedy knows this. He knows it well. Since Kennedy knows this, and he’s not an idiot, yet he keeps saying something that’s not true, what is the explanation?

Easy. Senator John Kennedy is a coward.

John Kennedy is afraid of Donald Trump. More to the point, he’s afraid of the Trump cult. Every Republican’s worst nightmare is that Donald Trump will send a nasty tweet their way and they’ll end up like South Carolina’s Mark Sanford. It’s why Lindsey Graham doesn’t have principles anymore. It’s why Ted Cruz is fine with Trump insulting his wife’s looks. It’s why Mitch McConnell is now Moscow Mitch. Now, we Kremlin Kennedy.

John Kennedy is a coward afraid of Trump, but his support of this idiotic conspiracy theory also aids Vladimir Putin. Putin is the creator of this conspiracy theory. There are no facts to support it which is OK for Donald Trump, but Kennedy? John Kennedy is a smart man. He shares a name with a greater man who stood up to Russia. He’s a Senator in my home state. He should be better than this. He’s telling us he’s not. He would rather serve Putin in his cowardice than represent his constituents and defend America.

America deserves better than these Vichy Republicans who will sacrifice their nation for the Trump cult. The only reason their spines don’t break from the constant bending over is that they don’t have any. Yesterday, Republicans issued a report that was over 100 pages, full of lies, exonerating Trump asking a foreign nation to meddle in our next election.

Trump asked a foreign nation to meddle in our last election (Russia, if you’re listening). Recently, he asked another to meddle in our next election. Republicans are looking at the facts that he cheated once and attempted to cheat again, and are now saying let him go ahead and play the game.

I thought the Minions in Despicable Me were cute as hell when that film first came out. After the subpar sequels, their own spinoff film, and trillions of memes and products, I hate them. They’re everywhere and it’s not cute anymore. But yet, they’re not as annoying as Putin’s Republican minions who are also everywhere.

Republicans like John Kennedy should stop being minions and be representatives serving our nation. Stop serving Putin. And trust me on this, it’s not cute and it never was.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Kurds Get Trumped


cjones10112019

Donald Trump is not just a risk to our national security. He’s a risk for the world’s security.

Trump has a good argument about America being in “forever wars,” like Afghanistan. He’s not the first to make the argument as it’s one that’s been carried by Republicans and Democrats alike. But pulling our troops out of Kurdish-held northern Syria isn’t removing us from a “forever war,” as most of the fighting on our behalf has been done by Syrian Kurds. They’ve fought with our equipment and training to defeat ISIS.

This is where it gets tricky. The Kurds are holding about 11,000 ISIS fighters. Trump says Turkey must now take responsibility for those prisoners. They also operate camps for families displaced by the war, holding tends of thousands of people. Many of them are non-Syrian wives and children of ISIS fighters.

Turkey does not like the Kurds. They have been fighting separatist Kurds inside their borders for years and consider all Kurdish fighters, including our allies, the Syrian Kurds, to be terrorists. Turkey is planning to invade Northern Syria after the U.S. removes its protection of the Kurds.

Syria’s dictator, who the Kurds have also been fighting, along with ISIS while they’ve been fighting ISIS (told you it’s confusing), controls the southern half of Syria. President Bashar al-Assad is backed by Putin and he wants to retake northern Syria. He’s looking to make a deal with the Kurds. Russia also has troops in Syria.

On Monday, a bipartisan group of lawmakers issued a joint statement saying, “If Turkey attacks these Kurdish soldiers, there is a grave risk that the ISIS fighters they guard will escape and return to the battlefield.” Susan Rice, the former national security adviser for President Obama, told Stephen Colbert, “This is batshit crazy.” Trump’s former UN ambassador Nikki Haley said we’re leaving the Syrian Kurds “to die.” Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell came out of his shell and said this will benefit the Syrian regime, Iran, and Russia.” Even Lindsey Graham, who usually resides in Donald Trump’s butt, said this is “complete chaos” and a “disaster.” The butt, however, according to Lindsey, is nice this time of year.

This is America bailing on an ally after they helped us defeat ISIS. Already, there are reports of Turkish artillery shelling and airstrikes on Syrian Kurdish positions. Trump made the decision after a phone call with Turkish President Recep Erdogan, probably after Erdogan promised dirt on Hunter Biden.

The White House said Turkey would “now be responsible for all ISIS fighters in the area captured over the past two years.” Turkey replied, “Yeah, uh-huh. Right.”

The United States has a long history of abandoning the Kurds. President Richard Nixon helped foment a Kurdish uprising in Iraq to fight Iran. But after Iran and Iraq mended fences in 1975, we turned out back on the insurrection and left them to be slaughtered and driven into exile. In 1991, George H.W. Bush called on Iraqis to rise up against dictator Saddam Hussien. After we were done with Desert Storm, we abandoned the Kurds again and Saddam crushed them. Last August, the Trump administration convinced the Kurds to pull back from the Turkish border and dismantle their fortifications. Now, with those fortifications dismantled, Donald Trump has given Turkey the green light to invade northern Syria.

Trump’s former top diplomat in the war against ISIS, Brett McGurk tweeted, “The value of an American handshake is depreciating.” Plus with Trump, you don’t know where that hand’s been.

Hearing the criticism and concern over Turkey’s intentions, Trump tweeted yesterday, “If Turkey does anything that I, in my great and unmatched wisdom, consider to be off limits, I will totally destroy and obliterate the Economy of Turkey (I’ve done before!).” Well, shoot. I guess we were all concerned about nothing because we still have Trump’s “great and unmatched wisdom” to take care of things. If nothing else, he’ll destroy Turkey’s economy like he did before which nobody remembers happening.

The conflict of interest in this crisis should also be noted. There are Trump Towers in Istanbul (in case you’re a Republican, Istanbul is in Turkey). Trump’s proud of these towers and said in 2015, “It’s called Trump Towers. Two towers instead of one. Not the usual one. It’s two.” Unfortunately for the Kurds, they don’t even have one Trump Tower.

We are bailing on our allies and proving to the world we can’t be trusted. Our next president, unless it’s Mike Pence, will have to rebuild that trust. Someone said, “Don’t forget, that’s their territory. We have to help them. They fought with us. They died. We lost tens of thousands of Kurds, died fighting ISIS. They died for us and with us. And for themselves. They died for themselves. They’re great people. And we have not forgotten. We don’t forget.” In case you can’t tell from that sentence structure, Donald Trump said that. He said it last year and, I think he forgot.

All these world leaders who throw Trump parades, flattery, visits to secret cities, sword dances, and promise investigations based on conspiracy theories on his political opponents need to keep in mind, Trump is not loyal. But for us, when Trump bails on an ally, it’s not just his reputation he’s harming. He’s making America look bad. Sure, world leaders in the future will realize our next president fully understands two towers is more than one tower, but they’ll remember we’re the idiots who put an orange idiot in the White House.

We need to show the world that we can do one thing right and that is impeaching Donald Trump because he’s bringing America’s credibility down to his level. And in case you’re a Republican, his level is a sewer.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Moscow Mitch


cjones08052019

The owner of one of the online news sites who subscribes to my cartoons emailed asking if I was going to draw a cartoon about Mitch McConnell. He mentioned that “MoscowMitch” was trending on Twitter and that the Senate Majority Leader was upset over this, which meant the editor was going to run every single anti-McConnell cartoon and the least flattering photos he can find of McConnell from now on.

I was aware of the #MoscowMitch thing trending and that McConnell was unhappy over it, but I thought piling on would be too much like trolling. Then, I saw how upset Mitch was. I changed my mind. Adding to anything that might even slightly upset McConnell’s mellow has to be a good cause.

McConnell, like most politicians who aren’t Donald Trump, are usually impervious to criticism, nicknames, and satire. Ted Cruz actually enjoys being the most disliked slug that has ever oozed its way into the United States Senate, and even seems to be aware he has a very punchable face. But this time, McConnell’s feelings have been hurt, and not because he doesn’t have a punchable face like Ted. Trust me, Mitch. You do.

He’s upset at being accused of being a Russian asset. Why are people accusing him of being a spawn of Putin? Because, right after the former special counsel Robert Mueller testified that Russians were still hacking us, even “as we sit here,” McConnell single-handledly blocked stronger election security measures.

McConnell even blocked a bill that would have made it a requirement for campaigns to report to the FBI if a foreign government was trying to give them assistance. McConnell felt the bills were “partisan” and would give Democrats an advantage at the polls. He’s right in that a fair and free election would give Democrats an advantage because most Republican ideas are greedy, evil, racist, stupid, and only seem to benefit billionaires and assholes. The majority of Americans vote against Republicans like they did in 2016 and 2018. Most Americans will vote against Republicans again in 2020.

McConnell was upset because not only is #MoscowMitch trending, but so is #MoscowMitchMcTraitor. This is a guy who, after an ad referred to him as “Cocaine Mitch,” started answering his phone with that title.

McConnell even took to the Senate floor to defend himself, seemingly unaware that if you feed trolls, that like cats, they don’t go away. Mitch called his critics “hyperventilating hacks,” and compared his treatment to “modern-day McCarthyism.” McConnell said, “Over the last several days I was called unpatriotic, un-American, and essentially treasonous by a couple of left-wing pundits on the basis of bald-faced lies. I was accused of aiding and abetting the very man I singled out as an adversary and opposed for nearly 20 years, Vladimir Putin.”

Yet, McConnell is blocking efforts to protect our elections from attacks by Russia because he wants to aid and abet Vladimir Putin. McConnell, like Trump, is welcoming the Russians help in 2020. It’s not like McConnell has ethics. He freaking stole a Supreme Court seat.

In 2016, Obama asked McConnell to speak out against Russia’s attack on our election so that defending the integrity of our democratic process would be bipartisan. Obama wanted Democratic and Republican leaders to stand shoulder-to-shoulder. McConnell refused because he didn’t want to discourage Putin or Americans from realizing that all the erroneous information they were being fed to help Donald Trump was created by Russian trolls. McConnell refused to defend America, just like he’s refusing to defend it now. Just like Donald Trump has refused to defend the nation he swore an oath to protect.

Trump came to McConnell’s defense while referring to himself, again, in the third person saying, “Mitch McConnell is a man that knows less about Russia and Russian interference than even Donald Trump. And I know nothing.” I’m sure we can all agree that Donald Trump “knows nothing.”

Mitch McConnel is upset people are calling him a Russia asset. If you don’t want to be accused of being a Russian asset then maybe stop acting like Vladimir Putin has a hand up your ass.

Support the cartoonist

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Slingers


cjones08012019

The Senate Intelligence Committee issued a new report yesterday that Russia probably targeted the election systems in all 50 states in 2016, the federal government didn’t adequately warn the states, and the threat persists heading into the 2020 presidential, Senate, and Congressional campaigns.

The report states they started the meddling as early as 2014 and continued into 2017. U.S. officials believe the Russians probably scanned systems in every state, such as election-related web pages, voter ID information, election system software, and election service companies. Two years ago, the Department of Homeland Security disclosed that the Russian government, including their military, had hackers target 21 states during the 2016 campaign.

During Robert Mueller’s congressional testimony this week, he described how Russia’s meddling was not a “hoax,” that the Trump campaign welcomed their interference, and that Russia was “doing it as we sit here.” Republicans on the Congressional Judiciary and Intelligence committees scoffed and downplayed Russias interference and favoritism toward Donald Trump. Republicans and Trump are more concerned about “liberal” paper straws than Russians attacking us.

The Russians are doing it now “as we sit here” and they’re doing it to help reelect Donald Trump. Trump has spent his entire presidency kowtowing to Russia and Vladimir Putin. He invited Russians into the Oval Office where he gave them classified information that was obtained by a U.S. ally. He has refused to call out or blame Putin for the interference, which is an attack on our country which he took an oath to protect. He stood next to Putin in Helsinki and took his word over that of our National Intelligence. However, he did declare that our national security has been threatened by Canadian cheese.

On the same day the report was issued, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell blocked two election security measures that would help keep our elections free and fair. McConnell argued that the bills would give Democrats a “political benefit.” He’s right in that free and fair elections, without Russian meddling, will help the Democratic Party because more Americans vote Democratic than Republican.

A House bill passed that requires the use of paper ballots and included funding for the Election Assistance Commission. It passed in the House with only one Republican vote. McConnell argued that it was partisan. Since when did protecting the United States of America, protecting our elections, and loyalty to our nation over Russia become partisan?

McConnell and Republicans have put more than party over country. They’ve put worship of a cult leader over their country, over our country.

Another bill blocked by McConnell would have made it a requirement for candidates, campaign officials, and their family members to notify the FBI of assistance offered by a foreign government. This sounds like a no-brainer but it would obviously handicap the Trump campaign as Trump has stated recently that he’d welcome foreign assistance in the next election. He didn’t even send it in code. He flat out said it.

We need leaders in the House, Senate, and White House who will protect the nation they swore to defend. We need leaders who don’t go swinging with Putin.

Creative note: I hate to explain this but if you don’t know what Sling TV is, then maybe this cartoon doesn’t work for you. It’s basically another internet service that offers premium cable channels and it can be used on smart TVs. There are commercials where people invited by a creepy couple for “slinging” confuse the term with “swinging.” Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally, married in real life, play the creepy couple shouting at neighbors, “You wanna sling tonight?” “Hey, Bruce, bring your mom.” I think they’re hilarious.

Support the cartoonist

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.