Russia

Space Litter


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It’s been a big year for missile tests by U.S. rivals. China test-fired a hypersonic missile that went around the planet. Hypersonic is Mach 5 speed. That’s fast. Russia test-fired a missile in the Arctic. And last week, Russia test-fired a missile in space. Yes, in outer space.

Kids, we spend over $700 billion a year on our military which is more than the next top-ten spending nations combined. So, why are we behind China and Russia in hypersonic missile technology? We spend nearly $4 billion a year on hypersonic missiles that don’t work. How about we spend more money on feeding poor kids and free college and less on military shit that doesn’t work? We could probably put new dog parks in every U.S. city with $4 billion. And I bet dogs would be better at intercepting Chinese missiles than Space Force. I base this on a kung pao Chicken-Beagle interception incident I experienced once.

At this point, our anti-missile missiles have as much of a chance at intercepting a hypersonic missile as Donald Trump has of returning a serve by Serena Williams.

It’s the Russian missile test in space that really has everyone’s dander flaking. Russia blew up one of their own satellites which created a lot of debris in space.

Space debris is a huge problem for spacecraft like the International space station (ISS). The United States Space Surveillance Network is tracking about 20,000 pieces of artificial objects in space. While over 2,200 of this are satellites, the rest is junk from former space missions. It includes pieces of satellites, rockets, boosters, spacecraft, other assorted particles, and even solidified liquids from orbital spacecraft. This stuff can be dangerous to the humans flying around in space, like those on the ISS. A piece of space crap can destroy solar panels, and that’s just for starters. Space junk, in addition to dubstep, may be why aliens never come here.

The over 2,200 artificial objects we are sure about are only the objects large enough to track. Space nerds estimate there are over 128 million pieces of particles orbiting Earth that are from one to ten centimeters in size. Yes, something that small can inflict heavy damage. In case you’re a Republican gun humper and you need a comparison to understand how tiny a centimeter can be, look in your pants.

After the Russians blew up their satellite, the crew of the ISS had to scramble into capsules in case they had to evacuate the station.

The ISS orbits the planet at an altitude of 260 miles. So, if the space billionaire assholes (Jeff Bezos, Richard Branson, and Elon Musk) and their egos had been in space during the Russian missile test, they would NOT have been in any danger. Richard Branson got about 52 miles above the planet and Jeff Bezos reached 62. In case you’re a Republican, 260 is a greater amount than 52 and even 62.

This billionaire asshole space race is only to feed billionaire asshole egos, just like the Space Force was only created to placate Billionaire asshole Donald Trump’s ego and to give his racist rally attendees a new catchphrase (this was before they came up with “hang Mike Pence”). What did Space Force do to prevent the Russian missile test? It may have encouraged it.

There is an international treaty that forbids testing missiles in space. It bans nations from claiming the moon and other celestial bodies and forbids military stations in space, like the Death Star. While it doesn’t ban all military activity, creating an entire branch of your military that’s exclusively devoted to space kinda pokes the other 110 signers of the treaty in the eye. However, it’s not like Russia has respected the treaty before the creation of the Space Force. It should be noted that it was the Soviet Union that signed the treaty and not Russia.

But if Russia needs something to shoot down in space, I can think of better targets than satellites. And hey, before you get upset and believe I’m advocating killing billionaire assholes, just think of this like Paul Gosar thinks of his violent and racist anime. It’s just a cartoon.

There’s a lot of crap in space, including billionaire asshole egos.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Kremlin Cruz


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Texas Senator Ted Cruz did not serve in the military. But he says when he was younger, he thought about it real hard. Today, why golly gee willikers, he kinda wishes he had served. Of course, Ted only wishes he had served for the political bonus points serving would have given him. In Ted’s feeble little mind where the thoughts are all about Ted, he believes saying he thought about serving in the military is just as good politically as serving in the military. It’s kinda like when you tell your girlfriend you almost bought her something really nice, then expect sex. When he was in college, Ted also said he thought about starring in a “teen tit film.”

John McCain served in the military, was a prisoner of war in the Hanoi Hilton, was tortured, but Ted thought about serving…and being in booby movies.

The United States Army created a video showcasing the “deeply emotional and diverse” background of its soldiers. It tells the true story of Cpl. Emma Malonelord, a soldier who enlisted after being raised by two mothers in California and graduating at the top of her high school class.

In Russia (where they claim there are no gay people), military propaganda created a TikTok video of a muscular Russian man with a shaved head doing push-ups, jumping out of a plane, and staring down the scope of a rifle…and then it cuts to the U.S. Army video for a comparison. Ted Cruz retweeted the Russian propaganda video and said the contrast made American soldier’s into “pansies.” He also said the U.S. military was “woke” and “emasculated.”

No, Ted. “Emasculated” is when you become an ass-kissing toady troglodyte for the man who accused your father of murder and called your wife “ugly.”

Ted tweeted, “Holy crap! Perhaps a woke, emasculated military is not the best idea …”

Senator Tammy Duckworth, who did join the U.S. military, is a Purple Heart recipient, and lost both legs in combat replied, “Holy crap! Perhaps a U.S. Senator shouldn’t suggest that the *Russian* military is better than the American military that protected him from an insurrection he helped foment?”

Ted Cruz is perhaps the most disingenuous person who has ever slimed out from the ocean floor before learning to walk upright.

He pretends to be a proud American who supports our troops, yet he supported an insurrection of our government, tried to overturn a democratically-held election, and praises Russia’s military while using a homophobic slur against the U.S. Army.

He pretends his freedom is being attacked when asked to put on a face mask.

He pretends to be a tough guy, telling Donald Trump to “leave Heidi the hell alone” while calling him a “sniveling coward” before joining the Trump cult.

When Democrats propose legislation to combat gun violence, he pretends to be aghast that they’re offering solutions and accuses them of playing political “theater.”

When his state was hit by a record freeze, instead of doing anything to help Texas, he ran off to Cancun, where it was nice and sunny. As soon as his spontaneous vacation was reported, he scrambled back to Texas, making sure to be seen in a face mask emblazoned with the flag of Texas, and went straight to a photo-op of handing out water.

When questioned about the trip, he was caught lying about his plans, the reason for the trip, and even his itinerary. To top it off, he blamed his daughters for the trip.

When Cruz was running for president, he used his daughters in a political commercial to attack Hillary Clinton. He even had them recite anti-Hillary jabs. When cartoonist Ann Telnaes created a brilliant cartoon about the incident, Ted attacked her for “attacking” his daughters, and then used the cartoon in a fundraising email. Because of Ted’s propaganda, conservatives started issuing death threats to Telnaes and other various types of physical vile threats…which Ted ignored. He never called off his goons. He was content with them threatening a woman.

Ted likes to “own” the left but the thing is, he’ll never own liberals as much as he owns himself. You wonder why people like Ted don’t shut up for at least a little while after saying something stupid. My guess is, he’s oblivious to just how ridiculous he comes off.

Ted doesn’t get irony. Just this week, the guy who became subservient to the man who called his wife ugly said President Biden has a “lack of backbone” in support of Israel. Seriously, Ted? You wanna talk about backbones?

Three days ago, he tweeted about cheap airfare to Cancun. Seriously.

A few weeks ago, he said the GOP didn’t rig the Supreme Court. That’s serious gaslighting counting on people not remembering very recent history.

Ted Cruz accused President Biden of “rewarding” Russia by not sanctioning their upcoming pipeline to Germany. In case you’re a Republican, Germany is NOT in the United States. Ted Cruz, who praised Putin’s military this week and never had an issue with Trump choosing Putin over American intelligence, is now concerned about “rewarding” Russia.

Last week, he claimed Democrats’ voting bill will register undocumented immigrants to vote. He also threatened “woke” corporations who aren’t conservative enough.

Yesterday, he was very upset with MSNBC’s Brian Williams for calling him “Kremlin Cruz.” He hates it about as much as Mitch McConnell hates “Moscow Mitch” and Donald Trump hates “Putin’s Puppet.”

On his show, Williams said, “Remember as you watch this just how much Ted Cruz dreams of being president of a country some day, perhaps not this country for reasons like this.”

Ted Cruz replied in multiple tweets, with one stating, “I hate communists, my family was imprisoned & tortured by communists, and Brian is a shameless apologist for Russian (and Chinese and Cuban) communists.” This is just how dishonest Cruz is. Nobody said anything about communists. This is an excellent example of gaslighting.

Ted has a lot of nickames. There’s Cancun Cruz, Snoozin’ Ted, Lyin’ Ted, Fat Weasel, Felito, Terrible Ted, Ted Schmooze, Ted Ooze, Two-Faced Ted, Seditionist Ted, Toddler Ted, Little Fidelo, Castro’s Revenge, Wacko Bird, Cohiba, The Suckup, The Bearded-Boy Blunder, Fleein’, Flyin’, Lyin’ Ted Cruz, Vacation Valentino, Trump’s Toady, Trump’s Latino Lap Poodle, Creep Show Cruz, Toady Ted, Crocodile Tears Cruz, Creepy Crawler Cruz, Ted Scruz, Cootie Cruz, Greased Pig of Politics, Tricky Ted, Waffle King, Rato, Stinkbug, Shady Mailer, Ted Carpet Bomb Cruz, Sneaky Little Stinker, The Fourth Dorkman of the Apocalypse, Diabolical Ted Cruz, Proud Boy, El Presidente Wannabe, Toxic Ted, The Insufferable Schmuck, Dirty Syrup Gulper, McCarthy Jr, The Cruzinator, Ted Smug Mug Cruz, Tailgunner Ted Cruz, the Zodiac Killer, Ted Carnival Cruz, Calgary Cruz, Troglodyte Ted, Douche Canoe Cruz, and now we have Kremlin Cruz.

Despite all the criticism, Ted Cruz did do something great for the United States military and that was by never enlisting.

Of course, if Cruz did attempt to join the military for the nation he so deeply loves and tirelessly protects, they probably would have said, “Nyet.”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Follow The Drip


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Yesterday, Rudy Giuliani was nominated for a Razzie Award for his appearance in the second Borat film. It was for the scene where he takes what he believes is an underage girl from Kazakhstan into a hotel room for drinks, lies down on a bed, and sticks his hand down his pants.

One of Rudy’s competitors for the award is Bruce Willis for three films he was somehow able to make during a pandemic that I’ve never heard of. But I heard of Rudy’s performance. What’s worse is I saw it. Ew.

Rudy should win a Razzie, but not for any performance in a movie…and not even for worst hair style. He should win a Razzie for worst American (though he has lots of Republican competition for that one), or maybe best collusion with a foreign government attempting to interfere in a U.S. election.

Just like all those seditious white nationalist terrorists who attacked the U.S. Capitol in a bloody coup attempt for Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani has betrayed democracy and the United States. The man who supposedly became “America’s mayor” for his response to a terrorist attack has become the mayor who enabled a terrorist attack.

A new declassified intelligence report has revealed that to interfere in the 2020 U.S. presidential election to help Donald Trump, Russian President Vladimir Putin authorized outside proxies to feed disinformation to Fox News, One America News Network, and…wait for it…Rudy Giuliani. When you look at all three of these suspects, you know convincing them to repeat lies probably wasn’t a very difficult task. Did Russia tell them to freak out over Mr. Potato Head?

The report by the Office of the Director of National Intelligence says Russians pushed “influence narratives—including misleading or unsubstantiated allegations against President Biden—to US media organizations, US officials, and prominent US individuals, including some close to former President Trump and his administration.”

What did Rudy do during the campaign? He pushed a lot of bogus bullshit about Hunter Biden being engaged in corruption with Ukraine, a nation that’s an enemy of Russia. Of course, Fox News and OANN repeated all his claims. And whatever became of that laptop he claimed belonged to Hunter?

The report states the Russians built upon their interference in the 2016 election to help Trump and hurt Hillary Clinton, but this time it was less technical and relied more on getting information into the national conversation and letting it go from there. They just wound Rudy up and let him prattle down the street.

The Russians realized they didn’t have to spend millions of rubles, or even thousands, on social media propaganda campaigns when they had the likes the Rudy Colludy, Tucker Carlson, and Sean Hannity. On top of all that, they also had Donald Trump. He also had the entire Republican Party. I bet Putin loves the over 400 bills in 43 states right now designed to disenfranchise voters.

And even if Russia lost their bet on Trump, which they did, they still had the bonus of poisoning our nation with lies and division. All the Republican efforts to change voting laws are based on lies of a stolen election. By the way, the last time there was enough fraud to change an election and there was a do-over, it was all for a Republican (North Carolina in 2018, fuckers).

The report also says Iran meddled, but in a very sloppy way when they sent emails purportedly from the violent right-wing hate group the Proud Boys to Democratic voters threatening them if they didn’t vote for Trump. Iran messed up pretending to be Proud Boys because illiterate people can’t write emails.

There is also mention of some small influence campaigns from Hezbollah against Trump, Cuba to Cuban Americans in Florida that was anti-Republican, and Venezuela’s President Nicolas Maduro wanted to get involved after Trump supported a coup against him, but didn’t have the means. As for China, who Trump’s Attorney General William Barr and John Ratcliffe, Trump’s last director of National Intelligence, said was the greatest threat to our election, and not Russia…they didn’t do anything.

China considered an influence campaign but then chose not to get involved. If China really wanted Biden to win, then it was probably smart not to meddle and have it backfire because the man he was running against was the worst president (sic) in American history. You really shouldn’t need any foreign help to defeat a man who tanked the economy and did nothing but spread lies while a virus killed hundreds of thousands of Americans.

The report states, “The Chinese government likely sought stability in its relationship with the United States and did not prefer either Biden or Trump enough to risk the potential blowback of more direct interference.”

One difference between Democrats and Republicans is that Democrats don’t want any help from foreign governments to win elections. They don’t want that stench. Republicans invite it…literally. “Russia, if you’re listening.” Donald Trump was impeached asking Ukraine to meddle. He stood in the White House driveway and asked China for help.

There weren’t any efforts to change ballots. Instead, Russia used useful idiots like Rudy Giuliani.

Of course Russia wanted Donald Trump to win the election. During the Helsinki Summit, Trump threw our national intelligence agencies under the bus to take Putin’s word he didn’t interfere in the 2016 election. Putin gave Trump a soccer ball in exchange for his balls. Trump had his translator’s notes destroyed from his one-on-one meeting with Putin.

Why would Russia prefer Trump over Biden? When told by Bill O’Reilly that Russia murdered journalists and Vladimir Putin was a killer, Trump said, “So what? You think we’re so nice?” When asked about Putin this week by George Stephanopoulos, President Biden clearly laid out that Vladimir Putin is a killer. Biden explicitly accused Putin of being a “killer.” Whom would you rather have negotiations with, the guy who calls you a “killer” or the one who kills at kissing your ass?

After the election, Rudy pushed lies over the election being stolen by George Soros, the Clintons, and by voting machines engineered by the deceased Hugo Chavez. Maybe next time, Russia should find a useful idiot who’s less of an idiot. Maybe a less drippy idiot. Maybe a less farty idiot.

If you want to find the collusion and corruption with Russia, follow the lies. Follow the drippy hair dye. Follow the farts. Follow the sleaze. It all leads back to Rudy. Can Rudy take his Razzie with him to prison?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Navalny


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Russia has sentenced the Kremlin’s and President Vladimir Putin’s loudest critics, Aleksei Navalny, to two years in prison. His crime? Violating probation by leaving the country. Why did he leave the country? To receive medical treatment. What did he need medical treatment for? Because he was poisoned. Who poisoned him? The Russian government poisoned him. Basically, he was sentenced to prison for not dying.

If you don’t want to go to prison in Russia, then do them the courtesy of dying when they try to kill you. Sheesh!

Navalny has been a huge thorn in Putin’s side by being an opposition leader to his government. What’s wrong with Putin’s government? For starters, Putin’s been in charge of the country for over two decades, critics (journalists) get poisoned, and his courts throw the critics in prison after he fails to kill them. To be fair, he doesn’t poison all critics. Some are shot in the head and others are thrown off tall buildings.

Russia is corrupt. This week, Navalny’s team released a report on YouTube describing a secret palace built for Putin. The Russian president already has eight “official” homes and there are several that are unofficial. He’s like Saddam Hussein with that shit. Putin’s wealth is also estimated to be between $70-200 BILLION. Do you see why Donald Trump is in love with this guy? Rich, evil, and clinging to power while silencing critics. What’s not to love for a fascist wannabe?

The judgement of the Russian government had been that placing Navalny in prison would look really bad and only increase his profile, legitimacy, and give strength to the opposition. So, instead of throwing him in prison, they placed him on probation on some made-up bullshit charges. Then, they tried to kill him.

They tried to kill him by poisoning his underwear. Seriously. In court, Navalny said, “His main resentment against me now is that he will go down in history as a poisoner. There was Alexander the Liberator and Yaroslav the Wise. Now we’ll have Vladimir the Poisoner of Underpants.”

Critics in Russia are clumsy. When they’re not putting on the wrong underwear that can kill them, they’re tripping and falling out of windows in skyscrapers. In the past. Putin has imprisoned people running against him in presidential elections. Putin has been able to cling to power and not once has he had to hold a rally to incite his followers to attack the Kremlin.

Another reason the government may have wanted to silence Navalny with a prison sentence is that he’s smarter than they are. After they tried to kill him, he called the guy who did the poisoning, and tricked him into confessing.

Navalny called Konstantin Kudryavtsev, a chemical weapons specialist at Russia’s domestic intelligence agency, the Federal Security Service, and pretended to be an aide to a senior Russian security official preparing an urgent report on what went wrong in the mission.

It went like, “Hello, this is an aide to important government agency in charge of poisoning critics and NOT a trick phone call by someone you poisoned. So…what went wrong?”

What did the poisoner say? He said, “The priority was maximum secrecy. So that no one could record it, no one saw anything they didn’t need to see, and so on.” He then blamed Nevalny’s survival on the pilot (he put the underwear on at his hotel and the poison kicked in while he was on a plane) for landing too soon and on medical workers for doing their jobs. He said, “If it had taken just a little bit longer then, possibly, everything would have ended differently. You see, this is where coincidence is the worst factor we can have in our work.”

Navalny also discovered that Russian government goons had been following him for months. Every time he traveled, they’d be in the same plane, bus, hotel, elevator, etc.

Vladimir, the Poisoner of Underpants, scoffed at the claim of the assassination attempt and said in a very convincing defense that if if Russian agents had wanted to kill Navalny, “they would have probably finished the job.” Then he said, “Bwahahahahahahaha.” But you see, Vlad…it’s that “probably” thing. “Probably” doesn’t mean “all the time.”

At the end of the trick phone call, where Navalny probably used the name Seymour Buttskis, the poisoner asked, “Is it OK that we talked on a normal phone line?”

This is why it’s a good thing we got rid of Trump or people who criticize the government would be falling off buildings. Fortunately for me, I live on the second floor. Even with a severe limp, I can continue to criticize the government.

Bwahahahahahahaha.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Attacking America


cjones12222020

There is concern during every presidential transition that our enemies may take advantage or test us. The objectives may be to advance an agenda against us while no one is paying much attention, to test the incoming administration to see how much they can get away with, or an excellent opportunity to grab some shit, like intel in a data hack…or Ukraine.

All our intelligence agencies agree Russia is the culprit behind a huge hack into American government and industry. Experts say this is the greatest cybersecurity breach in our nation’s history and yet, our government didn’t catch it. It was caught by a private firm when their system was hacked. To understand the extent of the attack, government agencies aren’t approaching our national security establishment, but instead, they’re going to Microsoft.

Microsoft is the same company that couldn’t get my address correct, so instead of delivering my $2,000 Surface Pro to me (under warranty), they dropped it off on the doorstep of a stabby-looking guy with a face tattoo. Good luck working with Microsoft.

This has been an excellent time for Russia to attack our infrastructure and computer system. Usually during transitions, all the experts are polishing up their resumes…in the case of Trump appointees, adding a lot of bullshit. So they’re preoccupied on their upcoming unemployment and won’t pay much attention to a cyber attack. Attack on our cybersecurity? Whatever. Is the ability to use chop sticks a job skill?

But in addition to Trump appointees not doing much about the Russia hack, the president (sic) only got around to mentioning it yesterday…naturally, in a tweet.

Since the election, Donald Trump hasn’t talked about anything except the election. He’s only left the White House to play golf and conduct one hate rally in Georgia. We’re losing about 3,000 people a day to the coronavirus and he hasn’t said anything about that. The only thing he’s said about the vaccine is that he doesn’t want Joe Biden to get credit for it (from the guy who took credit for Obama’s economy). And, he’s atually messing up the distribution of the vaccine. But when it comes to Russia, Trump has always deflected.

Trump mocks people concerned about Russia and treats them like Jan Brady and says, “Russia, Russia, Russia.” Donald Trump ignored their meddling in the 2016 election. He voluntarily gave them national security secrets in the Oval Office. He’s had aides destroy notes taken during his one-on-one meetings with Putin. He adopted Putin’s bullshit reasoning for Russia’s invasion of Afghanistan in 1979, claiming it was to stop terrorism. He took Vladimir Putin’s word over American national security agencies over Russia’s meddling. He ignored reports that Putin was paying bounties for dead U.S. soldiers.

So after a week of reports that Putin is hacking into our security system, what did Trump have to say about it? He tweeted that everything is “under control.” The media is “exaggerating it.” He said, “Russia, Russia, Russia.” He blamed China and said the real concern was if they hacked into the Dominion voting machines.

So basically, the United States is being attacked and Donald Trump is using it for more conspiracy theories about the election?

Of course Donald Trump isn’t going to defend America. As we’ve seen over the past four years, Donald Trump only cares about Donald Trump. How can anyone expect Donald Trump to defend America from Russia when he’s attacking America? Look what he’s done to the post office and our election. Donald Trump is helping Putin destroy the United States.

Donald Trump doesn’t defend America. He defends himself, convicts, pedophiles, and Putin.

Over the past week, convicted felon and Trump-pardoned goon General Michael Flynn floated the idea of enacting martial law and using the military to overturn the election. Here’s my conspiracy theory: Flynn is floating this idea because it came from the White House.

Lawyer Sidney Powell was on Rudy Giuliani’s legal team losing court case after case. She floated several ridiculous conspiracy theories to the point that she was removed from the legal team and the Trump Campaign lied and said they never had any association with her…despite her speaking and standing next to Rudy at his idiotic press conferences. Fortunately for Sidney, she was removed from Rudy’s side before the farts came.

It was her lie that the deceased Hugo Chavez and Venezuela corrupted Dominion voting machines that had her removed from the Trump team. So…since she was removed, why was she in an Oval Office meeting Friday? Sidney Powell being in the White House is almost as surprising as Georgia governor Brian Kemp being there for a Christmas party after Trump called for him to be imprisoned. Hope Kemp got to ask Santa for a spine.

Sidney Powell was never removed from the Trump legal team. She was just pushed aside out of the view of cameras. Like Flynn, she’s floating ideas before Trump endorses them. According to reports, Donald Trump is giving up on the Justice Department appointing a special counsel to investigate election fraud that didn’t happen…in favor of appointing his own special counsel from the White House. That’s not even a thing.

Donald Trump has no authority to appoint a special counsel…just like he doesn’t have authority to enact martial law to overturn an election, or to use the military in martial law. What Donald Trump does have the authority to do is grant a security clearance to any unqualified fucknut he deems necessary to help him act out his corruption, like Jared and Ivanka. Now, he wants to give a security clearance to Sidney Powell and appoint her as the special counsel to investigate the election. Maybe when she’s done, she can help OJ find the real killers.

The election has been called. Every state has certified the results. There was no mass voter fraud. We had an election upon the Constitution’s legal guidelines. We had the states certify per the Constitution’s guidelines. We had the electoral college meet per the Constitution’s guidelines. Joe Biden is the president-elect and will be president on January 20, 2021. The military can’t be used to enact martial law to overturn and rerun an election, which is un-Constitutional and illegal. It’s un-American. It’s un-democratic. There is no other way to describe it other than as a coup. Donald Trump is attacking America.

Donald Trump, Sidney Powell, Rudy Giuliani, and all those other fucking Republicans supporting his election fraud scam are conducting sedition and trying to turn this nation into a fascist state.

And even though the military has spoken out against being used in martial law, how do we know those generals won’t be removed and replaced by the likes of Michael Flynn? How do we know Donald Trump isn’t talking about that?

Protect us from Russia? Yes, we need to be protected from Russia but we also need to be protected from Donald Trump and the Republican Party.

Quite frankly, I won’t breathe easy until after January 20, 2021, when Joe Biden is in the Oval Office and Trump is toilet-tweeting from Mar-a-Lago.

Notes on signed prints: Order now if you want to send a print of one my cartoons, signed by me, to a loved one…or even better yet, to a conservative family member who you probably don’t love anymore. They’ll never forget it. The signed prints are just $40.00 each. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal and want to snail mail it, email me (clayjonz@gmail.com) so we can make sure your print gets to its recipient in time. I can mail the prints directly to you or to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (14 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’ll be selling for $45.00 each, signed. Unfortunately, they’re not going to arrive until AFTER Christmas. Don’t yell at me. But you can purchase now, give later, and blame the cartoonist. Tell them I had covid. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Rudy Colludy


cjones10232020

Rudy is still at it. Despite the arguments during Donald Trump’s impeachment hearings that everything was on the up-and-up with their asking Ukraine for election help, Rudy is still mining that nation for fools gold.

Now, Rudy has acquired a laptop he claims belongs to Hunter Biden. He took it to The New York Post with a shady story no other news outlet would accept. This story didn’t even land on Fox News first. Hell, even the National Enquirer didn’t go for it.

Basically, there’s an email in the laptop supposedly between Hunter Biden and an official from Burisma, the Ukrainian energy company Hunter worked for, that claims a meeting was held between him and then-Vice President Joe Biden in 2015. Yet, there is no evidence or public records of any such meeting. A vice-president’s schedule is usually on a public record. Yet, for some stupid reason, the FBI is still investigating it. Maybe because Donald Trump is screaming for his political opponent to be arrested, even though he can’t specify any crimes.

The reporter who wrote the story refused to have his name attached to it. Other journalists at the Post have protested their publication’s running of a story that doesn’t meet journalistic ethic requirements…and this is The New York Post.

The back story is: An owner of a computer repair shop in Delaware claims the laptop was dropped off by Hunter Biden, but his eyesight is poor so he’s not sure Hunter dropped it off. It could have been the Cookie Monster for all he knows. The computer was water damaged and for some reason, there’s no story about Hunter or anyone returning to retrieve the computer. Then, the owner saw the email and contacted Rudy Giuliani.

There’s a lot that smells here. The owner of the shop went through the private emails on the hard drive? The owner of the shop gave the hard drive or computer to be used politically? And, the owner doesn’t know who his customer is? If you live in Delaware, find out where this computer repair shop is and NEVER EVER EVER EVER give them your business.

Also, Hunter is a rich dude. Typically, if a laptop messes up or is seriously damaged, you’d just trash it, even way back in 2015. I’m a poor dude and I have three useless laptops in my closet. The only reason a guy like Hunter Biden would take a laptop in to be repaired would be because there’s something important on there he needs, and it wouldn’t be emails because you can just get those off whichever server you’re using. But, that can’t be the case because he never returned to pick it up. The story about dropping it off at a repair shop doesn’t make sense.

It doesn’t make sense The New York Post ran with it. The only story the press should run with this is that the guy we used to call “America’s mayor” and who is a former federal prosecutor, is now pushing bogus crazy uncle Qanon-type conspiracy theories. What has Rudy Colludy done now? Rudy’s even saying that America needs to know this Hunter Biden laptop story, even if it’s not true.

Hey, America needs to know that Rudy Giuliani married his second cousin, whether it’s true or not. Spoiler alert: It’s true.

Is this how Rudy used to prosecute cases? Your Honor, we don’t know who did it, who owns the laptop, if there was a meeting, and if there was, what it was about, and we don’t have any reliable witnesses…but we think there was somebody who did something bad and Joe Biden is connected to it somehow…I have a feeling about these sorts of things, also…I need a DNA test on some demon sperm.

It doesn’t make sense the FBI is investigating the story. Are they going to investigate chemtrails next? Maybe the FBI should look into the Qanon theory about cannibalistic pedophiliac Democrats worshipping Satan.

It doesn’t make sense Rudy hasn’t been arrested…or the computer shop owner. Rudy is running around with stolen property. Now, there are reports he’s taking it to a local police department in Delaware which also doesn’t make sense if the FBI is already on it. Also, why doesn’t that police department arrest Rudy as soon as he shows up with stolen property? And Rudy can’t say he’s holding onto it for evidence because Rudy is no authority. He’s a private citizen…who’s insane.

Rudy isn’t just on Trump’s leash. He’s on Putin’s. America’s mayor is now Putin’s poodle.

What else doesn’t make sense is that Jeffrey Toobin story… Yeah, that’s just weird. Who does that?

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

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Ratty Intel


cjones09072020

John Ratcliffe is the Director of National Intelligence. Why? It’s not because of his experience in national security matters. It’s not because of any experience he has in being intelligent. It’s because he’s a sycophant to Donald Trump.

When he was being considered for the job, then-Congressman Ratcliffe lied about his experience in prosecuting terrorism and immigration cases. He also spread lies that Russian interference in the 2016 election was designed, not to help Donald Trump, but instead to help Hillary Clinton. Seriously.

He’s accused the FBI of being biased against Donald Trump. After the Mueller Report came out, Ratcliffe claimed it wasn’t written by Robert Mueller but…you’re going to love this…Hillary Clinton’s “de facto legal team.” Yeah, this guy is de-facts alright.

Now, Ratcliffe has decided to “scale back” intelligence briefings to Congress. Why? He claims it’s because of leaks and now there will only be written briefings. Uh, how will leaks stop if they’re only written? Hell, if anything, you’ve done the leakers’ work for them by typing it out already. Trust me. Typesetting is a pain.

We’re not actually aware of any leaks from Congress about U.S. intelligence. Ratcliffe wouldn’t describe any. If there are leaks, they’re just as likely to come out of the White House or Ratcliffe’s own office, you know, since he doesn’t have any experience with intelligence and I’m sure the people around him are more sycophants than career intelligence professionals.

During the 2016 election, President Obama chose not to go public with Russia’s meddling in our election which he knew was in favor of Donald Trump. He requested the Senate to join him in issuing a statement condemning Russia’s actions and that it wouldn’t be tolerated, but Mitch McConnell refused to participate. Why? Because Moscow Mitch knew Russia meddling was designed to help Donald Trump. After the election, McConnell and other Republicans criticized President Obama for not going public with the information.

President Obama did not want to make a statement and appear to be assisting the Clinton campaign. Now, Donald Trump just doesn’t care how anything appears.

He’s obligated to Vladimir Putin. He’s afraid to say anything negative about him. When it was pointed out that Putin killed his critics, Trump’s defense of Putin was to insult the United States. He’s taken Putin’s word over our Intelligence agencies. He’s ignoring reports Putin put bounties on the heads of American troops. He’s not just ignoring Russia’s current meddling, he’s trying to cover it up.

There was a report this week that Russia is behind a new campaign of raising questions about Joe Biden’s mental stability. It’s the same campaign Donald Trump has about Biden’s mental stability. 

When Attorney General William Barr was interviewed by Wolf Blitzer this week, Barr claimed China was a larger threat to our election than Russia which is bullshit.

Like most Trump appointees, Ratcliffe is more interested in blind obedience to Trump than in doing his job. Speaker Nancy Pelosi may force him to do his job with a subpoena. Trump and Ratcliffe don’t want Congress to know about Russian meddling in this election. And they don’t want to do anything to protect our election.

Ratcliffe has the job of protecting the United States and he’s refusing to do it. Donald Trump also has a job of protecting the United States and he’s refusing to do it.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Nyet Intelligence


cjones07092020

It’s very hard to believe our intelligence agencies did not inform the president (sic) of the United States about Russia paying the Taliban bounties for killing American troops in Afghanistan.

Granted, if this was included in Donald Trump’s daily briefings, before they told him of this scheme by Putin, they’d have to explain where Afghanistan is, who the Taliban are, and repeat once again that Russia and Vladimir Putin are the fucking bad guys.

According to inside sources, the intel was included in his daily briefings. What’s being questioned now is whether it was read to him or just left in the written report for him to find it by himself…which would never happen. Just from the logistics of his rate of tweets and golf, when would he have the time to read? Plus, have you heard him read from a teleprompter? Reading is very difficult for him. If Donald Trump is going to hear about anything, it has to be on Fox or tweeted by a Nazi.

There is speculation the intelligence community had qualms about presenting this information to Donald Trump at all, which might be why it would be in the written report, knowing he’d never read it.

No president has had as many former staffers as Donald Trump has who tell us he’s really bad at this stuff. What kind of stuff? The kind of stuff that involves foreign policy and intelligence. You know…presidenting.

But, the other major concern is Donald Trump would share this information with Putin. And, that’s not just a silly concern that can be easily pushed aside. Donald Trump has given Russians classified information in the past. He’s tweeted classified information in the past.

Shortly after taking office, Donald Trump invited Russians into the Oval Office, allowed their press with their recording equipment in, and kicked out the American press. There, Donald Trump gave the Russian ambassador and essentially their Foreign Minister (their Secretary of State) intelligence about a planned operation by ISIS in Syria. What’s even worse is, it wasn’t our intelligence. It was given to us by Israel. Donald Trump betrayed the American intelligence community, our allies fighting with us in Syria against ISIS, and our allies. Did he do it to commit treason? No. He did it out of stupidity. He is subservient to Russia and was trying to show off. As our Secretary of State at that time said, he’s a fucking moron.

A top European diplomat said Trump’s sharing of classified information with Russia would force them to stop sharing information with us because sharing intel with Americans while Trump is president (sic) could put their sources at risk.

A member of Germany’s intelligence agency said if Trump “passes this information to other governments at will, then Trump becomes a security risk for the entire western world.”

When Donald Trump met with Vladimir Putin at a global conference, he went out of his schedule for an impromptu chat with the Russian totalitarian without anyone from our side with him. He relied on Putin’s translator. He didn’t bring a U.S. translator or anyone to take notes.

When he had an official meeting with Putin in Finland (which is NOT a part of Russia as he believed), he kicked all U.S. personnel out of the room except an American interpreter. After the meeting, he confiscated the interpreter’s notes. Why didn’t he want anyone to know what he and Putin talked about? Maybe they talked about that penthouse Trump offered to Putin during the 2016 presidential campaign in an effort to construct a Trump Tower in Moscow. Maybe he talked about Russia’s meddling in 2016. Maybe he talked about their meddling in 2020. Maybe he got all his ideas about Ukraine and Democrats from that meeting. Maybe they talked about the pee tape.

And, when he and Putin addressed the press, he took Putin’s side over American intelligence about whether or not Russia attacked our elections.

In 2017, he told the president of the Philippines, Rodrigo Duterte, another fascist, the location of two U.S. nuclear submarines off the coast of North Korea. This information is so tight that normally the only people who know for certain the submarines’ locations are the captains of those submarines.

After the bombing of a concert in Manchester in the United Kingdom in 2017, Trump leaked to the press details of the case, the main suspect, and even images of the bomb used. The British government was pissed as it compromised their case and British police said they would stop passing information to their U.S. counterparts.

Last year, Donald Trump tweeted an image of an Iranian missile that had been damaged from an explosion during takeoff. What this image revealed were our highly classified surveillance capabilities to take such a photo.

This is why I’m sure there are no dead alien bodies at Roswell. Donald Trump would have tweeted out photos. Also, we still don’t know who killed JFK because Trump would have shared that too. Unless our intelligence isn’t giving that information to Trump.

The information on Putin’s bounties was passed to our British allies, who we can trust more than the American president (sic). If the British got it from us, then it was made available to Donald Trump, but they may not have pointed it out to him.

It’s a sickening thought that Donald Trump is president (sic) and classified information protecting this nation is given to him. It’s sickening he can declassify anything he wants as president (sic). It’s sickening he has the nuclear football which he allows Mar-a-Lago guests to pose with. It’s sickening that one time, he actually held an intelligence briefing with guests present at Mar-a-Lago. Seriously. He did that.

The funny thing is, everyone who complained about Hillary’s server have never expressed concern over Trump’s leaky treasonous mouth.

Our allies don’t want to share classified information with us. Our intelligence network, who Trump has attacked and rebuked and sided with Putin over, doesn’t want to share intelligence with the president of the United States (sic).

That’s because Donald Trump is a national security risk.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Donald Trump’s Beautiful Treason


cjones07012020

Donald Trump’s administration is so inept, their coverups are often nearly as bad as the crimes.

When you heard Russian President Vladimir Putin put out bounties for the Taliban to kill U.S. troops in Afghanistan and Donald Trump didn’t do anything about it except continue to invite him to the G7, and your first thought was, “How do I defend this?”, then you’ve failed as a patriot and an American.

Granted you sold your soul to Donald Trump a long time ago but at this point, you’re way past the point of no return.

U.S. Intelligence, which Donald Trump doesn’t trust, uncovered months ago Russia was paying bounties to the Taliban to kill American troops. According to The New York Times, Donald Trump was briefed on this last March. Donald Trump has done nothing…until today.

What did Donald Trump do about it today? He said he was never briefed about it. This is where the coverup is nearly as bad as the crime. and again, Donald Trump is a liar.

Why wasn’t the president (sic) briefed about a hostile nation paying bounties to kill Americans? If this is true, did our Intelligence not trust Donald Trump with this information? If Barack Obama was still president…or anyone else was president other than Donald Trump, he or she would have been briefed. That president would have been expected to defend our nation. That president would have been expected to defend American soldiers. This president (sic) is expected to fail Americans and only concern himself with himself.

Donald Trump is more concerned about defending Confederate statues than U.S. troops. Why, he’s actually enacted penalties for those who attack statues of traitors. Putin? Donald Trump hasn’t tweeted anything against him yet. It helps Putin that he’s not black.

Everything Donald Trump claims he is is a lie. He’s not a good businessman. He’s not a good negotiator. He’s not a good Christian. He’s not a good husband. He’s not a good father. And, he’s not a good American. He pays a lot of lip service to supporting our troops, but he’s never really done so. He claimed P.O.W.s are not heroes and he feuds with Gold Star families. If he wins reelection, he will pull every American troop off the Korean peninsula and abandon NATO.

When it comes to despots, he takes their side over that of U.S. Intelligence. He sides with criminals and spies over “law and order.” He even defends dictators for murdering Americans like he did with Kim Jong Un’s murder of Otto Warmbier. “Kim says he feels bad about it.” I’m expecting a “Putin says he didn’t do it” over this bounty thing real soon.

Earlier this year, four Americans were killed in a car bomb in Afghanistan. Last year, 22 Americans were killed in combat in Afghanistan. I’m no math expert but I counted, and I’m pretty sure 26 is more than four. Why is that significant? Because every Republican in the nation were livid and went apeshit over the four deaths in Benghazi. The Republican-lead House held hearing after hearing on Benghazi. Hillary Clinton as a candidate for president was forced to testify for 11 hours at a House hearing. What have Republicans today said about this new information regarding Russia, the Taliban, and Trump sleeping on it? Nothing.

Now, every Republican must turn against this president (sic). And I’m not just talking about the ones on TV. I’m not just talking about the Never Trumpers or the guys behind the Lincoln Project. I’m not just talking about Kellyanne’s husband. I’m talking about every Republican. Every senator, representative, and governor needs to come out and publicly reject Donald Trump.

Donald Trump has failed America and sold out troops out for his personal little feelings. He’s sold our troops out for his man-crush on Putin. How anyone can still respect that abject failure of a human being is beyond me. Everyone who still rejects this traitor repulses me.

This man has failed with the coronavirus and has cost us more lives. He has put his tiny frail ego before the safety of the American public. Now, he’s turning a blind eye to Vladimir Putin murdering Americans. How much soul does each Republican have left for this guy? How much do you have left for him?

Donald Trump, who is more concerned for ratings and showmanship than being president, is probably concerned over naming for this latest scandal. “Bountygate” is already taken.

A lot of us, and hopefully the majority, are working to save this nation from Donald Trump. If you’re a Trump supporter…still…we’re more than happy to do it without you. In fact, we’re working to save this nation from you.

Some of us love this country more than any individual political leader. Black Lives Matter protesting in the streets and taking down statues of traitors love this country more than you. They defend this country more than you do.

If you love Donald Trump more than America, you should leave. I hope Russia has Kool-Aid.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Fartsy Foreign Meddling


cjones02282020

I have this belief that if Donald Trump wins reelection, he’ll pull the United States out of NATO, he’ll invite Vladimir Putin to the White House, and he’ll withdraw all American forces off the Korean peninsula.

I don’t have this belief because I’m suffering from imaginary Trump Derangement Syndrome. I believe this because there are reports he’s voiced out loud about doing all three. In regards to Korea, he now has another reason. A film from South Korea won an Oscar for best picture. For some reason, that really pisses Donald Trump off.

At a racist fucknut rally yesterday, Donald Trump stood up to defend the American film industry from foreign attacks. I don’t really get it. He railed against the film “Parasite,” a South Korean production that you would have to watch with subtitles unless you speak Korean. “Parasite” is the first foreign-language film to win Best Picture.

Trump said to the adoring racist masses, “And the winner is a movie from South Korea, what the hell was that all about? We got enough problems with South Korea with trade. On top of it, they give them the best movie of the year? Was it good? I don’t know.” He then asked, “Can we get ‘Gone With the Wind’ back, please?” and also name-checked “Sunset Boulevard.” What’s next? Complain that James Woods has never won an Oscar? I haven’t actually looked that up but I am that confident he hasn’t won one.

Donald Trump doesn’t understand how anything works. “Gone With the Wind” won an Oscar for Best Picture in 1940, thus it’s not eligible to win one in 2020. “Sunset Boulevard” came out in 1950. But if Trump’s going to campaign for any movie, perhaps he should look into “Dumb and Dumber.”

Neon, the U.S. film production and distribution company backing “Parasite,” replied with, “Understandable. He can’t read,” referencing the film’s subtitles. The Democratic National Committee took the same tack with, “‘Parasite’ is a foreign movie about how oblivious the ultrarich are about the struggles of the working class, and it requires two hours of reading subtitles. Of course, Trump hates it.” And he hates it without even having seen it. But then again, he has an opinion about everything he doesn’t know anything about. I bet he has a lot of them on the G spot.

I’m not sure why he’s going after a foreign film winning an Oscar since he’s not a big fan of recent U.S. films either. But at least he’s trying to protect something American. When it comes to Russian meddling in our elections, past and present, he doesn’t care. A foreign power attacking our democratic process, he goes four years without mentioning. South Koreans winning an Oscar, that he mentions.

After acting-Director of National Intelligence Joseph Maguire briefed Congress on Russia interfering in the 2020 election to help Trump, Donald Trump got upset and viewed Maguire as disloyal. Trump is afraid Democrats will use the information against him in the election. For Trump, using the fact he’s accepting foreign help is worse than him using foreign help, and the Director of National Intelligence is supposed to be more loyal to him than to America.

Donald Trump, who has told his minions that he wants to remove people from government who are not loyal to him, is now removing Maguire and replacing him with a loyal Trump goon. Maguire is a career official who is respected by the intelligence rank and file. Trump is replacing him with Richard Grennell, who is the current ambassador to Germany (was disappointed to find out the Nazis are gone) and has zero experience with intelligence. In fact, he’s more fond of carrying water for Trump’s conspiracy theories. There’s also talk of eventually making Congressman Doug Collins the permanent Director, who is also a bigger proponent of Trump conspiracy theories than facts.

In fact, during the briefing to Congress delivered by Shelby Pierson, the American intelligence community’s top election security official, Republicans accused the briefers of trying to sabotage Trump. Then, Devin Nunes went running to Donald Trump to tell him about it and warn him that Adam Schiff, lead impeachment manager and Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, was in the room. Reportedly, Trump went off the rails at Maguire before firing him. Now there are reports that Pierson may be leaving also. Maybe Nunes is also the one to tell Trump about “Parasite.”

Donald Trump is worried this information will be used against him, which would be legal. But we don’t need this briefing to know Russia is helping Donald Trump win reelection. We already knew this. Trump’s supporters may always use the defense of “Russia, Russia, Russia” while rolling their eyes, but the rest of the nation takes our security seriously. The rest of us are more loyal to our country than to an orange cult leader. Also, Vladimir Putin already told us he wanted Trump to win in 2016, so duh.

Donald Trump doesn’t like “Parasite,” because it’s about a family posing as something they’re not to get into a house where they don’t belong. But the most ironic thing is, he is a parasite. Personally, I don’t mind reading for two hours so I’m going to watch “Parasite.”

A family posing as something they’re not to get into a house where they don’t belong? I really need to know how it ends.

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