Facebook’s Collusion


At this rate, I’m kinda expecting a revelation that Mark Zuckerberg was at the Donald Trump Jr. Russian meeting.

Like you, I’m constantly annoyed with Facebook while utilizing it on a daily basis. The bothersome stuff, while annoying me, doesn’t affect my life in the slightest…or it didn’t until now.

I’m the type of person where a messed-up food order at McDonald’s won’t faze me, while I’ll watch a good friend of mine use the opportunity to go ballistic, and the next thing you know he returns an hour later from his food run with my Big Mac and the full story on how he unloaded what-for and made a 16-year-old struggling with acne cry. While I’ll get over that there are pickles on my sandwich, other little things will totally piss me off.

I’m annoyed with the petty stuff on Facebook. Your food pictures irk me. Why do you do that? Am I supposed to be impressed you ordered sushi? Do you want an “attaboy?” One of my friends posts nearly every single meal she eats. She once posted a picture of cereal. I shit you not. But c’mon. Any doofus with opposable thumbs can put a sandwich together.

Another annoyance; vacation pictures. Vacation slides have been joked about, derided, and hated ever since the photo slide technology was invented. It was why people in the 1970s couldn’t get their friends to come to their dinner parties. Nobody wants to see your vacation photos. I’m telling you this as your friend. Cut it out. You have turned Facebook into one, long, boring vacation slide. I don’t even need to know you went on vacation, but if I do know then I’m going to assume you enjoyed yourself. I don’t need the pictures of you giving the devil-horn sign with your tongue out while you’re at Sandals. I’m not against vacations and I hope to take one again someday…but if I do take one, I know without a doubt that nobody is going to need evidence that it actually happened. OK, maybe in my case they will.

Tagging your location isn’t just annoying, it’s stupid. Like the vacation pics, you’re just bragging about how great your life is, and convincing no one. What you’re actually doing is making stalking you very convenient and alerting burglars that right now is a great time to break into your house. And thanks to Facebook they know what breed of dog you have.

Other annoyances are game requests (I don’t want to play Candy Crush with you), Facebook Live notifications (I get these things from people I didn’t even know I was friends with), the vague post (which are the only type of posts my teenage nieces give and I never respond to, because I’m afraid they’ll tell me), the social experiments (the “let’s see how far this posts can go” and the “if you love Jesus, you’ll share.” Fuck you), pokes (people still do that and I still don’t know why), selfies (We get it. You’re pretty and insecure), and political memes. I hate political memes. I could easily write another 1,000 words ranting about political memes.

Some people hate political posts or that cartoonist who shares his cartoons every time one of his clients publishes them online. You have every right to hate those and, you can bite me.

But now, there is something annoying about Facebook that may have affected our lives. Russians.

Facebook was the target for Russian trolls and useful idiots sharing fake news during the campaign, but Facebook assured us that no foreign outlets were purchasing ads from them. And just like every single member of the Trump campaign, they had collusion with Russia that they conveniently forgot about.

Now, it turns out that $100,000 was spent on political campaign ads that Facebook has traced back to a “Russian Troll Farm.” I don’t want the troll farm image in my head, but I think that crop is yielding in the White House. Also, expect more revelations about Russian ads. I don’t believe for a minute that it stopped at $100,000.

Russians didn’t just purchase a few ads. They engineered these things to select certain demographics and particular regions. For example, white housewives in Wisconsin. Investigators want to know if they had any help from U.S. political operatives who may have pointed them in which direction to target these demographics. Maybe, but the American operatives working for Hillary Clinton weren’t smart enough to go after demographics in Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania. Anyone with a basic understanding of math with a copy of an electoral map should know where to target political ads, and where the stupid people live.

Most of all, I believe this destroys an argument Republicans and people in American intelligence agencies have been using. That argument is; Russian meddling had no effect on the outcome of our election.

Facebook says the Russians used the ads to “manipulate.” No shit, Sherlock. Every ad in the world is created to manipulate. How many will purchase a Kia this year because of Motorhead and a guinea pig? I don’t know, but someone somewhere believes that’s going to happen because they put a lot of money into that campaign.

Whether someone’s pitching Coca-Cola or Donald Trump, they’re not spending ad money just to blow through a budget. They expect results. I do believe that if a high tide throws an octopus into the backseat of my car through the sunroof that Farmers insurance won’t let me down….or that if I have Allstate then my children will be better behaved while we stand gleaming and lovingly together in front of the Statue of Liberty. But, not every ad works that well. Like, Domino’s telling you that their pizza doesn’t suck anymore, or Panera telling me that their salads are “clean,” or that new car commercial giving me the impression that I’ll find riding in a boxcar with hobos much more comfortable than their automobile.

The Russians expected their ads to work. They wanted chaos for their money and nobody can say that we didn’t get chaos. Nobody can say the Russians didn’t get the election results they wanted. We got a hell of a lot more than $100,000 worth of chaos.

I believe the Russians affected our election. We are a nation that gave us Duck Dynasty and Honey Boo-Boo, but I’m not entirely convinced that we’re dumb enough to elect Donald Trump as president on our own. I’d like to think we’d need a push. I know there’s a large portion of our nation who can be manipulated to vote for fuckery. We’re stupid. But are we stupid enough to do this on our own?

Mark Zuckerberg and all the other Facebook executives want us to believe they had no influence on the election. I’d try to believe that too if I wanted to sleep well at night. But, Facebook is worth over $435 billion dollars. Your social media platform doesn’t acquire that much wealth without it having some influence.

Unfortunately, Facebook isn’t just cat and food pictures. It’s a news outlet for many of us. It’s very influential. It’s also complicit.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.


Lost In Translation


Donald Trump and his sycophants complain constantly how the story about his campaign colluding with Russia is fake news. They cry how the media is obsessed with it and a lot of people agree, not just Trump freaks. Why won’t the media stop talking about Russia? Probably because Trump, his family, his campaign, and his appointees keep going to bed with Russians.

If you want us to stop talking about Russia then stop drip, drip, dripping details about your collusion with Russia.

There was a huge dinner at the G20 shared by the world leaders in attendance. Each member was allowed to bring their spouse and a translator so they could have a conversation with their counterpart they would be seated next to. Japan’s Prime Minister Shinzo Abe had the unfortunate designation to be seated next to Trump. Trump brought along a Japanese interpreter even though Abe speaks English (or maybe that’s what the translator was for). Fortunately for Abe, Trump left his seat in the middle of the meal.

It’s not uncommon for the leaders to move around and chit-chat with presidents, prime ministers, chancellors, and kings they weren’t seated with. There were eighteen leaders from other nations Trump could have picked to have an hour long conversation with after his meal. Did he pick Argentina, Italy, Brazil, Indonesia, or South Africa? Of course not. You know it wasn’t Mexico.

Quite naturally, it was Vladimir Putin. Vlad was seated a good distance away from Trump and across the table. That didn’t stop Donald from playing fanboy and reach out to suck up to Putin. The problem with this is, it’s Donald Trump and Russia. No members of Trump’s staff accompanied him for this conversation. He relied on Putin’s interpreter to translate. Another issue about this is, they kept it on the down low.

Do you think Trump would have negotiated a deal to put his name on a hotel by relying solely on the other party’s translator? He needs to take the business and security of our nation as seriously as he does about slapping his name on a sham university or some chewy steaks sold through The Sharper Image.

The White House only confirmed the meeting Tuesday after reports surfaced that other guests were surprised and icked out by it. Trump is doing a very poor job proving he’s not Putin’s puppet and that the Russia story is “fake news.”

Trump tweeted, “Fake News story of secret dinner with Putin is ‘sick.’ All G 20 leaders, and spouses, were invited by the Chancellor of Germany. Press knew!” and “The Fake News is becoming more and more dishonest! Even a dinner arranged for top 20 leaders in Germany is made to look sinister!”

The dinner was not a secret and was reported. His hour-long conversation with Putin was not a well-known subject. Trump didn’t bring it up with his conversation with reporters on the flight home.

Trump met with Putin for two hours earlier that day. He had been briefed before that meeting and brought along Secretary of State Rex Tillerson to minimize Trump’s fuckery as much as possible. He was not prepped with flash cards before his later bromance with Vlad, neither was he accompanied by someone from the United States who, well, knows stuff.

At their earlier meeting, Trump asked Putin twice about meddling in the U.S. election. He didn’t tell him we knew he did it. He asked. They then agreed to disagree, move on, and not bring it up again. So what did they discuss at the dinner? We will never know if it was small talk and pleasantries or if Trump gave him the keys to NORAD.

Trump used this opportunity to show that he prefers a closer relationship with Russia than with our allies. If it was the Kremlin’s goal to get Putin, an experienced negotiator and manipulator, alone with Donald Trump, mission accomplished.

On Tuesday, Trump announced the appointment of Jon Huntsman as ambassador to Russia (though, naturally they misspelled his name during the announcement). Huntsman was formerly ambassador to China and a few years ago Trump accused him of giving our nation away to Beijing. Maybe that’s the idea with this appointment to Moscow.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Russian For Transparency


I’m going to dinner with two of my best friends who are coming in from out of town, and I haven’t seen them in a really long time. So, column will come later.

Update 11:39 A.M., 07/15/2017

Here’s your column:

I expect any day now for Donald Trump to tell us that he’s not a tool of the Russian government and Vladimir Putin, who is actually a nice guy who is misunderstood….unlike that Moose and Squirrel who should die while exiled in Siberia!!!

I don’t know which is dumber. The right wing trolls who believe Natalia Veselnitskaya was a plant by the Democrats, or the Trump team telling us how transparent Donald Trump Jr. has been.

Even if Veselnitskaya was a Democratic plant, Junior still took the meeting. If she was a plant by Bigfoot and B.D. Cooper, he still took the meeting. If she was a plant by the Lollipop Guild and the Wicked Witch of the East, he still took that meeting. He went to the meeting, described beforehand as harmful information on Hillary Clinton from the Russian government. He took that meeting.

When he got the emails saying the Kremlin wanted his daddy to win, the trust-fund baby didn’t reply with, “What? Russia wants my father to win? Why would they want that? He’s a proud American patriot. That’s just crazy? They must have him confused with someone else because daddy Trump is an American first and would never be Putin’s bitch”. No. He replied with “I love it.” It’s like he was going to McDonalds for a Happy Meal. I’m lovin’ it! It’s as if he was already aware that the Kremlin wanted his dad to be president and serve four years with Putin’s hand up his butt controlling his every movement.

Trump defenders argue that Junior didn’t get anything out of the meeting and it was a disappointment. Well if you rob a bank and the safe is empty, that would be disappointing too but you still broke into the bank. And really? Disappointment? Darn. The treason didn’t work out.

The president says a lot of people would have taken that meeting. Yes. A lot of people without ethics with the intent to commit treason, which is how Trump defenders are sounding.

The president and his team also tell us that only Russian adoptions were discussed, as if that’s to ease our concerns. The president is either being dishonest or stupid with that explanation, which in his case can be both. When they mention adoptions what they are really talking about are sanctions. If they had dirt on Hillary Clinton, that’s quid pro quo. They wanted something in return for that. That also further explains why Vladimir Putin wanted Trump elected.

And quite frankly, you’re not transparent when you don’t reveal all the information at once. Junior went on Sean Hannity’s show, who was light on him, and said that there wasn’t any more information about the meeting. He had given it all. Then news is revealed that at least eight people were in that room. You had Junior dumbass, Jared “I want a secret cable from the Russian embassy” Kushner, Paul “let’s make a deal with Russia” Manafort, Ms. Veselnitskaya, a former Soviet intel officer who is now a lobbyist for that government, Rob Goldstone who is the Trump supporting Russia lover who set up the meeting, and two translators. Don’t be surprised if more details come out, like Putin was on the speakerphone.

Here’s the thing, Trump sycophants. I know you love Trump. I know it’s not about policy with you guys. I know you’re willing to lose your health-care coverage for him. I know it’s about the cult of personality, and has nothing to do with capable leadership. I understand you would rather be ruled than governed. But is it all that above patriotism for you? You gotta stop making excuses for traitors, really stupid idiotic traitors at that.

Isn’t it kinda funny that the jerks who spent the past eight years describing themselves as patriots, and accusing Obama of siding with terrorists, are now the ones who are selling out their nation? It’s bizarre that Republicans, the party of Reagan, is now selling us out to the Russians. It’s almost as ironic as the Trump presidency being brought down by an email scandal.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Putin Confirmation


With as many “they said/he said” situations that Donald Trump gets himself into, you’d think he was on a nighttime soap from the 1980s, not the president of the free world.

He’s had these “did too/did not, did grab/didn’t grab” situations with women. He’s had a “he said/he said” with the former director of the FBI. Now he’s having it with Russian President Vladimir Putin. When did international diplomacy become Mean Girls?

I have three teenage nieces and a day doesn’t go by when one of them doesn’t put a vague post on Facebook (could it get any worse? My life is over! Oh the suffering! You skank, you know who you are!). All three of my nieces together can’t match the attention-seeking-drama of our 71-year-old president. My nieces don’t understand the differences between “their,” “there,” and “they’re,” or “lose” and “loose,” but they still spell better than the president.

The world was shocked that Donald Trump brought up the issue of Russian hacking during his longer than expected chit chat with Vladimir Putin. Rex Tillerson claims Trump brought it up repeatedly. I’m sure that’s true because Trump has brought it up repeatedly with a lot of people. He won’t stop tweeting about it.

After meeting with Trump, Vladimir beat the Americans to the press. Old Vlad said that Trump brought it up and accepted his denial. Rex Tillerson says that’s crazy Russian talk.

I’m sure Putin would manipulate the press, the president, you, me (he never calls. He only hacks), and he’s not above telling a lie. The problem with this situation is, we know Donald Trump lies. Donald Trump lies about shit he doesn’t have to lie about (that’s when someone has a real problem with pathological lying). So who do we believe?

One participant lies to gain leverage. The other lies because he’s a little bitch.

When Trump and Tillerson sat down with Putin and his Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov, the Americans diplomatic experience was outgunned by 62 years. He got to chuckle with Putin over their disdain for the press (Why not throw off building? Splat. Problem solved).

Trump and Putin agreed that their countries should not “meddle” in each other’s affairs. That was stupid. Our help with monitoring elections in Russia and support for democracy isn’t the same as Putin hacking into our election, throwing the entire system out of wack, and installing a temperamental, narcissistic man-baby in the White House. It also puts Russia on an equal moral level with us. Trump, you idiot.

After Putin claimed that Trump accepted his denial, he told the press to go ask Trump. That is getting owned. Trump has remained silent. How bizarre is it that the man who kills journalists, gave a quote to journalists, and the supposed leader of the free world has not. It seems both sides have “agreed to disagree.” This is national security, not a debate over reincarnation (Trump was a shit weasel in a previous life).

I didn’t have much faith in Trump’s ability to handle the meeting as he started his day at the G20 in Hamburg, Germany, with nineteen other world leaders, by tweeting about John Podesta and claiming it’s all anyone at the summit was talking about. Trump was giving further cover to Putin’s election hacking by blaming the victim, and this time not really understanding the situation (Trump wondered why Podesta didn’t give the DNC’s server to the CIA, though Podesta wasn’t working for the DNC and the CIA can’t engage in domestic intelligence gathering. Why does a political cartoonist know this stuff better than the president?). And, if everyone’s talking about one thing, we know that one thing isn’t John Podesta. It’s Game Of Thrones (I haven’t watched but I hear good things).

U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley defended Trump by saying “everyone knows Russia meddled in our election.” Not everyone. Your boss doesn’t.

So which of the two liars are we to believe? When Putin says that Trump accepted his denial, we have to believe Putin. Trump has accepted the denial and promoted it for over a year. He refused to believe Russia was involved during the debates. He refused to believe our intelligence sources. He’s refused to believe any investigation. He’s even made up some shit to cast denial over Russia hacking the election.

It’s not hard to believe Trump accepted Putin’s denial. Where there is no denial is that Putin owns Trump, and with that possession, the United States has lost its position as leader of the free world.

Creative Note: I drew this last night and finished up pretty early. As soon as the drawing was done it was time for me to have dinner with some friends. So, I didn’t post the cartoon as I had not written the blog yet. I did mail it to my clients and two of them have already “scooped” me with my own cartoon. Sorry I made you wait.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $50 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Blaming Obama


In the movie Step Brothers, Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly are two 39-year-old men with the maturity of eight-year-olds who still live at home. They ask the father for permission to convert their beds into bunk beds so they can have more space in their shared room for “activities.” The father thinks it’s a bad idea but says they’re grown men who don’t need his permission. Naturally, the bunk beds fall apart trapping one of the brothers underneath the top bunk with the other blaming the father for letting them do it.

That’s what a man-child does. He blames others for his transgressions and stupidity as he’s incapable of accepting responsibility. Donald Trump is a 70-year-old man-child who should still be living at home, not in the White House.

A political cartoonist does his or her best work when they’re angry. It’s really hard to get angry every single day. At the most, politicians just really annoy me. This time, I’m pretty pissed off.

Donald Trump has now decided his best defense against accusations that he colluded with Russia to win the presidential election is to blame his predecessor, Barack Obama. Do what now? How does this work exactly when you blame someone for something you previously said didn’t exist? This is the sort of nonsense you’d think only Kellyanne Conway could attempt to explain. But, no. There are plenty of Trump defenders who will believe anything Trumpelstiltskin says.

Every president blames his predecessor for something, especially if they’re from opposing parties. Obama often blamed Bush for the crappy economy he inherited. Usually, when a president blames a previous president, there’s at least a basis of truth to it. George W. Bush did leave Obama a shitty economy and Republicans spent eight years complaining how Obama conducted the worst recovery ever. Basically, Republicans messed everything up and bitched how the Democrat was taking too long to clean it.

Trump not only blames Obama for bad stuff, he takes credit for the good Obama did. He’s taken credit for jobs Obama has saved. He’s taken credit for the stock market which has continued its upswing that started way before Trump took office. He’s taking credit for job numbers that he once claimed were fake while he was a candidate. He’s taking credit for the current economy, even though at this very moment we’re still in Obama’s fiscal year. But when it comes to blaming, Trump doesn’t even use a grain of truth. He flat out makes shit up.

Trump accused Obama of wiretapping the phones in Trump Tower. If you’re a Trump supporter you believe that despite it being a total lie. Now Trump is blaming Obama for Russia’s hacking into our presidential election.

Obama and our intelligence networks were aware of Putin ordering his agents to corrupt our election, the attempts to destabilize our democracy, and the effort to throw the election to Donald Trump. A lot of the information remained classified until after the election, but it was public knowledge way before November what the Russians were up to. I remember this. I drew a lot of cartoons about it. I remember Donald Trump denying it was happening. 2016 was not a figment of my imagination though it was kind of a nightmare.

Obama was in a catch-22 with how to handle the situation. He could sit back and let the election play out or make big bold statements and enact sanctions. That would have had Donald Trump, who was screaming at the time that the election was “rigged,” accuse Obama of using government resources to sway the election toward Hillary Clinton.

Obama publicly told Russian President Vladimir Putin to “knock it off.” He waited until after the election to enact sanctions, shut down two Russian compounds (one in Maryland, the other in New York). He’s been fairly criticized for his handling of the situation, but I don’t think he had any winning options.

If President Obama had done more and Clinton had won the election, Trump and Republicans (some who knew of the hacking, but remained silent) would still be screaming that the Democrats stole the election. If Trump had won despite Obama’s involvement (which I think would have happened anyway because Trump voters don’t work with facts or substance), we’d still be where we are now. Now is a situation where Obama didn’t want to give the impression of messing with the election and he’s being accused by Trump of colluding with Russia. Yes, seriously.

Now keep in mind that after Trump secured the nomination, he was provided the same intelligence briefings the president was receiving. Despite this fact, Trump continued to deny there was an attempt by Russia to hack our election. He said it could be China or some fat guy sitting on his bed. A closer guess would have been a fat guy in a penthouse on 5th Avenue.

Not only was Trump aware what the Russians were doing (as we all were), he asked Russia to release Hillary Clinton’s emails. On July 26 of last year, five days AFTER the Republican convention where Trump was awarded his party’s nomination, he said “I will tell you this, Russia: If you’re listening, I hope you’re able to find the 30,000 emails that are missing. I think you will probably be rewarded mightily by our press.” A few months later he went even further. In October 2016 (in case you’re a Trump voter, that’s AFTER July), Donald Trump was at a campaign event and reading leaks of emails from the Democratic National Committee and the Clinton Campaign when he said: “I love Wikileaks.” 

Obama didn’t ask Russia to hack and release emails. Obama didn’t shout that he loved Wikileaks.

If not doing enough to stop the hacking is colluding, then egging them on, using the information, and enabling the hostile foreign power tampering with our election is definitely colluding. Denying the actions is even further collusion, which is what Trump did throughout the election and continued after he was inaugurated.

Now Trump is finally admitting that Russia hacked our election, though he’s blaming Obama. What’s really hard to understand is how can the hacking story be a “hoax” and “fake news” yet still be Obama’s fault? Trump and his supporters will try to have it both ways as it takes an actual brain to understand that strategy doesn’t work. So expect Conway to be on CNN around 9:00 a.m. to explain it for us. I have aspirin.

Here’s another piece of logic that Trump supporters won’t understand: If Obama’s inaction is proof of collusion, then Trump is guilty too. Since he has become president, Trump has denied the hacking was done by Russians and hasn’t done anything to punish Russia or to prevent future hacking attempts. According to former FBI director James Comey, Trump never asked about or discussed how to protect us in the future. He was only concerned about having the investigation into Michael Flynn dropped, the pee tapes, and for Comey and several others to make public statements that he was personally not under investigation. In addition to this, he continued to deny the hacking attempts while personally relaying classified information provided by an ally to the Russians. And yet Obama is the one who colluded with the Russians.

What’s next? Will Trump blame Obama for his two divorces and the reason why his two sons are idiots who look like Beavis and Butt-Head?

The president takes an oath where he swears he will protect us from all enemies, foreign and domestic. Donald Trump refuses to acknowledge we’ve been attacked, or even who our enemies are, despite being the recipient of the best intelligence network in the world.

That doesn’t just annoy me. That seriously pisses me off.

It’s really hard being a one-man syndicate when editors (who receive death threats from Trump supporters) are afraid of cartoons with opinions, while I’m also competing against other syndicates with dozens of cartoonists (who offer lots of right-wing cartoons and the kind without any opinions). So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $50 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Putin Them Out The Window


People who oppose Russian President Vladimir Putin have a tendency to wind up dead, or seriously hurt. Maybe they’re just clumsy and naturally fall out of fourth story windows.

First off, the guy’s got the same name as “Vlad The Impaler,” the psychopath who was the inspiration for Dracula.

Putin hasn’t impaled anyone on spikes or bitten anyone on the neck yet, as far as we know, but many do turn up dead. Or maybe in Russia, they’re deadniks.

Denis Voronenkov, a critic of Putin who sought asylum in the Ukraine was shot dead in broad daylight Thursday in Kiev.

Boris Nemtsov (of course one of these guys would be named “Boris”) led massive rallies against Putin in Moscow. He was arrested several times until he was finally shot four times in the back, outside the Kremlin, in 2015. The killer remains at large.

Boris Berezovsky (OK. Maybe they’re all named “Boris”) was found dead inside a locked bathroom at his home in the United Kingdom, a noose around his neck, in what was at first deemed a suicide. Later the coroner couldn’t determine the cause of death. Berezovsky had accused the Putin government of poisoning another critic.

That critic was Alexander Litvinenko who was poisoned in 2009. He was a former intelligent agent who turned whistle blower. Ain’t blowing no whistles no more.

Stanislav Markelov and Anastasia Baburova were both shot outside the Kremlin in 2009. Markelov was a human rights lawyer known for representing Chechen civilians in human rights cases again the Russian military. Baburova was a journalist. The government blamed Nazis but I don’t think Steve Bannon was even in the country at the time.

Markelov represented Anna Politkovskaya, who was a journalist who had written articles critical of Putin. She was killed in 2006.

Sergei Magnitsky was a lawyer who was beaten to death in prison in 2009.

Natalya Estemirova, another journalist, who investigated abductions and murders that had become commonplace in Chechnya. She was kidnapped, shot several times, once at point-blank-range to the head, and her body dumped in the woods. They never caught the bad guys.

Anna Politkovskaya was another reporter and had written a book titled “Putin’s Russia” which accused him of turning Russia into a police state. She was shot in an elevator in her apartment building.

Sergei Yushenkov had just registered an opposition party when he was gunned down outside his home in Moscow in 2003.

Yuri Shchekochikhin was a journalist covering crime and corruption. He died of “mysterious” causes in 2003. His medical documents were deemed classified by Russian authorities.

Let’s not forget the feminist punk band Pussy Riot. Three members of the group were sent to prison on charges of “hooliganism” after performing songs critical of Putin and accusing him of being a dictator. That would be the equivalent of George W. Bush throwing Green Day in prison for their album “American Idiot.” But this is America. Prison here is having to listen to Green Day.

Just about every Russian connected to the hacking story has fled the United States and are safely, supposedly, back in Russia. You have to remember, Putin has a style of leadership Donald Trump has expressed admiration for.

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Russian To Lie


Attorney General Jeff Sessions sat before the United States senate during his confirmation hearings and committed perjury. Sessions lied to Congress.

During the presidential campaign Jeff Sessions was an early advocate for Donald Trump. He was on that bandwagon early and sported a Make America Great Again hat every chance he could find one made for a child-sized head.

On Wednesday evening The New York Times reported that surrogates for the Trump campaign met with Russian officials in European cities during the campaign. They also reported that the Obama administration scattered information throughout the government on the Russian hacking, so the incoming Trump administration couldn’t erase or conceal it. Smart. How obvious is it that the Trump administration isn’t just implicit with this, but that they’d engage in a cover-up?

Shortly after the Times story was published The Washington Post reported that Jeff Sessions met with the Russian ambassador TWICE. Sessions met with the ambassador once in his senate office and another time in Cleveland at the Republican National Convention. He says he never talked about the campaign with the Russians. It’s a little hard to believe that the campaign didn’t come up in a conversation during the convention in Cleveland. What did they talk about? Lebron James? Will the Browns ever find a quarterback? Why aren’t the Moody Blues in the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame? Because they suck.

From the Post (about Jeff Sessions, not the Moody Blues):

At his Jan. 10 Judiciary Committee confirmation hearing, Sessions was asked by Sen. Al Franken (D-Minn.) what he would do if he learned of any evidence that anyone affiliated with the Trump campaign communicated with the Russian government in the course of the 2016 campaign.

“I’m not aware of any of those activities,” he responded. He added: “I have been called a surrogate at a time or two in that campaign and I did not have communications with the Russians.”

That sounds like a lie. Franken did not ask if he (Sessions) himself had talked to the Russians. Sessions voluntarily described himself as a surrogate and that he “did not have communications with the Russians.” That’s a lie. That’s not misleading. That’s not parsing words. That’s not tip-toeing through the tulips. That’s not an alternative fact. That’s a huge lie. Sessions is an attorney who has probably prosecuted people for far less so he would know it’s a lie.

More from The Post:

Sen. Patrick J. Leahy (D-Vt.) asked Sessions for answers to written questions. “Several of the President-elect’s nominees or senior advisers have Russian ties. Have you been in contact with anyone connected to any part of the Russian government about the 2016 election, either before or after election day?” Leahy wrote.

Sessions responded with one word. “No.”

With the second instance Sessions didn’t technically, unless he did talk about the election with the ambassador. The question was specific and asked about the “2016 election.” Tricky there, eh? It would seem he would at least mention it. If he had people would have debated but it wouldn’t have revealed anything illegal. So, why didn’t Sessions mention meeting with the Russians? Did he only prep for the questions about being a racist?

Another oddity with all this is that Sessions is a member of the Armed Services Committee and he says he met with a lot of ambassadors last year in that role. But he’s the only member of that committee that was hanging out with ambassadors. What up with that?

Sessions refused to recuse himself regarding investigations into the Trump campaign and the Russian hacking. There are now more calls for a special prosecutor, which I called for before Trump took office. The big problem with appointing a special prosecutor is that job now lies (no pun intended) with Jeff Sessions. How convenient.

The shoes keep dropping and the stuff keeps hitting the fan. From Michael Flynn talking to Russian and lying about it to Trump asking Russia to hack the Clinton campaign. That shit-covered fan will have to be thrown out because it’ll never get clean.

U.S. Code sections 1621 and 1001 of Title 18 stipulates that anyone who “willfully and contrary to such oath states or subscribes any material matter which he does not believe to be true” is guilty of perjury and shall be fined or imprisoned up to five years, or both.

Section 1001  covers false statements more generally, without requiring an oath. The section stipulates that “whoever, in any matter within the jurisdiction of the executive, legislative, or judicial branch of the government of the United States, knowingly and willfully” falsifies or conceals information, including before a congressional committee’s inquiry, may also be fined or imprisoned up to five years.

It’s hard to quibble that Sessions did not commit perjury. He probably won’t be charged as there’s been only six convictions for lying to congress in the last 70 years, though it’s obvious he lied to congress. He lied to the senator who wrote the book “Lies And The Lying Liars Who Tell Them.” 

This particular lying liar needs to not only recuse himself, but he needs to appoint a special prosecutor, and then resign as attorney general.

One great benefit of all this crap is the great journalism competition between The New York Times and The Washington Post. I have a subscription to both and I highly encourage you to do the same.

I don’t recommend listening to the Moody Blues.

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