Hurry Up, Election Day


CNN10252020

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

I’m already seeing posts on Facebook saying, “Only nine more weeks ’til Christmas.” If you’re one of those people, I’d like to say, go to Hell.

I personally believe there should be a law prohibiting the display of any Christmas decorations or activities until the day after Thanksgiving. Furthermore, all Christmas decorations, activities, music, and any mention of the holiday have to cease after New Years Day.

I am a Grinch. I don’t like Christmas. The only time I’ve ever enjoyed Christmas was for a couple years as a kid, for my own child, and for other people’s children. I’ve enjoyed giving gifts. But for the most part, I’ve only tolerated Christmas. I’m not a Christmas sweater kind of person. I probably draw the least amount of Christmas-themed cartoons of any political cartoonist in the nation. Partly because I don’t like Christmas but I also don’t like worn-out lazy clichés.

Can we get through Halloween before we see Christmas decorations? Can we make it through Thanksgiving before I have to hear “Jingle Bell Rock?” For that matter, how about we get through Election Day first and find out if we’re going to survive as a nation or turn into a totalitarian state with only one actual branch of government that’s built to serve a cult of personality? If this election doesn’t go right, you’re not going to have Jesus’ birthday to celebrate anymore. Instead, we’ll celebrate Donald Trump Day. We’ll celebrate Dear Leader’s birthday like they do in North Korea.

Since this election is scary, you’re allowed to keep your Halloween decorations up through Election Day.

For a lot of people in this nation, Election Day has already happened. It has for me as a voter. As a pundit and professional prognosticator, I’m still waiting. It’s been reported that over 50 million people have already voted. In 2016, the total of all voters was 133 million. For this election, I expect that number to be higher.

For Donald Trump to be elected president in 2016, he had to defeat the most gaslighted person of all time. Hillary Clinton was gaslighted so much, that it elected the likes of Donald Trump to the presidency. But now that Donald Trump has the presidency, he’s doing all he can not to let it go. He’s acting like it’s his choice, not ours, if he stays. For Donald Trump, our presidency, our White House, are just divisions of the Trump Organization and he’s done all he can to make them as corrupt…with a lot of success.

The polls are even worse for Trump in this election than they were in 2016. Donald Trump’s approval has yet to poll above 50% throughout his entire presidency. And this time, he’s running against an old moderate white guy. There’s nothing really scary about Joe Biden. As hard as they’ve tried to gaslight him to the point they did Hillary Clinton, it’s a lot tougher. For starters, they’re 25 years too late and an old moderate white dude is less scary as a president to th electorate than…gasp….a woman.

Joe Biden isn’t just leading in those crucial swing states that flipped for Donald Trump, Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania…he’s leading outside the margin of error, which Hillary Clinton did not do. Not only that, but Biden is leading in states that should be secure for Trump like Florida and North Carolina and is even being competitive in Georgia and Texas.

So when I see these polls, I wonder if we can keep it going. Can we get through this election before another October Surprise, another FBI announcement, another military strike, another information drop by Russia, another attempt by Israel to help Trump…or whatever new shit they come up with? All signs are pointing to a massive Joe Biden landslide so naturally, I’m scared shitless that the Republicans and the corruption they’ve installed in our government will steal it.

So I say to Election Day, please…don’t be late.

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16 comments

  1. Thank dog I’m an Agnostic, or I’d’ve been terrified of your sending me to hell.

    Because I think there will be revenge and retribution between 4 November and 21 January of a scale that we can’t imagine, I’ve sent out all our Holiday cards already, domestic and international, as well as sent gifts thru amazon.com. As the time after the election is when folks start sending cards and either ordering or sending gifts, and since drumpf’s had a . . . ahem . . . hard-on for Bezos, f*cking up the USPS even more so than has been done already would be the PERFECT way to finish destroying America.

    And, if nothing else, all of our friends will have had a laff from our Howliday card & gift before we go down in flames.

    I mean, it’s not like we didn’t KNOW the Holiday comes on the same day ev’ry year.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. [Pardon the thread drift, Clay.]

        I used to put up 21 Holiday trees (of all sizes) and uncountable wreaths, swags, pictures, tableware and linens, bedding, and dress up the dogs. We were the first – in the late 80s – to hang a wreath on the front of our van. All whilst working a full-time job, baking since Halloween, and traveling several hours a week to pick up and then drop off a stepdaughter for visitation. Sure wish I had some of that energy now!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    Election day is over for me already! I’ve already voted … “All signs are pointing to a massive Joe Biden landslide so naturally, I’m scared shitless that the Republicans and the corruption they’ve installed in our government will steal it.
    So I say to Election Day, please … don’t be late.” … PLEASE!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I totally agree about the order of holiday decorations! And we’ve got to vote Trump OUT! Andrea is right, Nov 4th – January is going to be downright terrifying!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Clay, I am so with you about the Holiday stuff…exactly like you on that account! By the time I serve Thanksgiving dinner the Xmas music is getting old. The fun is gone, wiped to smithereens by the onslaught of commercialization.

    Like

  5. @elena nelson: “I totally agree about the order of holiday decorations!”
    Imagine how disorienting it was for me to be creating, printing and mailing out Howliday cards whilst also putting up [only a few] Howloween decorations. Due to one dog having begun her journey to the Rainbow Bridge, we did the photo shoot in September. I usually send out our cards the day or the weekend after Thanksgiving, which, many folks tell me, is still EARLY to be doing so.

    @valeriewagner3: “The fun is gone, wiped to smithereens by the onslaught of commercialization.”
    Well, I doubt many of us will be going into stores for shopping this year, so we won’t be hearing the Howliday music ’til we choose to do so, in our homes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You gotta be kidding, not around here, Target, Costco, Dollar Store,(Fred Meyers is a madhouse always) Grocery stores all busier than squirrels storing nuts. Everyone is wearing masks but it is nearly as busy in the Seattle area as it ever was. Except for restaurants.

      Like

    2. Andrea, NO grocery store or RX…good grief! Restaurants and Bars I can understand even though it wouldn’t take a genius to find a way, their drive-threw can be a nightmare for the wait. No store to count on for milk and eggs…damn! Take care, please be well and if you need emergency help please ask…I would help!!

      Like

      1. “NO grocery store or RX . . .”

        Curbside service, even for my vet (except for euthanasia, but we wore gloves and masks). No hairdresser or dog grooming, either; curbside service would be difficult there. Hubby does the library run.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Ugh, I wrote all about Halloween and Thanksgiving and how much better I like them than Christmas a year or two ago. But the list always makes me laugh, because I told my friends about it and they were like “Hey, i think that’s happened a few times”.

    I give each holiday it’s own month (with some overlap for halloween this year because it took forever to find the decorations–and the scary-ass election). I wait until December 1st before I even pull out the box of Christmas stuff and start decorating, and if I don’t feel like it, I don’t decorate at all.

    I’m sure we’ve all experienced at least SOME of these:
    https://thechattyintrovert.com/2017/12/20/ten-reasons-why-halloween-and-thanksgiving-are-better-than-christmas/

    Liked by 2 people

  7. The polls are encouraging, but we have to be vigilant and ready to defend a Joe Biden victory in court. Trump isn’t campaigning against Biden, he’s campaigning against the election.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That was smart Digo, “he’s campaigning against the election.” There are people who are savagely backing him, not just the “forever trumpshits” or Nazi phucks but BIGLY money. I have a list of the deep pockets, they are the usual asshole conservative Repubs that want to dismantle the country for their own despotic interests and screw the rest of us. We can’t let them get away with it. Enough. Find another ‘god’.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Wow…that’s the most accurate thing I’ve read all week: “campaigning against the election.” Spot on. Wonder how many others noticed that recently.
      Don’t think the folks who insist he’s trying to uphold our system have a leg to stand on if you tell them this. Hmm…

      Liked by 1 person

  8. At least I listen to a Goth station, so the rare times Christmas music is played, it’s something cool, like Unheilig…..

    Halloween season could run a bit longer. Well, except for some of the ghastly decorations people put up, the houses we had to pass when I walked my son to school….

    Like

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