Mask Conspiracy


The grocery store I shop at the most in-person is Giant which is in my neighborhood. It’s not the most uppity place in the world, like a Whole Foods, nor is it like an Aldi (where I have groceries delivered from) where there aren’t a lot of name brands (instead of Cheerios, you get Cheery Oats or something like that). Giant is a nice clean place with fair prices and most of the customers aren’t nose pickers and they look like the kind of people who bathe daily, and yet even Giant can’t convince all their customers to wear a face mask.

In Virginia, face masks are required at every business. Giant has signs that forbid shopping without a face mask yet, every time you go in there, you will see fuckers without face masks. I didn’t want to start any trouble, but me being me, as I was walking out one day, I asked a manager why they were continuing to allow customers to shop without face masks. The manager told me they couldn’t prevent them from shopping without the mask. I told her, “actually, you can.”

So I’m thinking, if Giant is having trouble convincing all their customers to wear a face mask, good luck, Walmart.

Last year, Walmart told its customers to stop carrying visible guns into its stores which sounds like a reasonable request. Walmart discovered mass shootings inside their stores aren’t really good for business. Yet, in the grand tradition of how they usually respond to something reasonable, a lot of conservatives freaked out and were livid. Fortunately for Walmart, it’s like crack to its customers. Their customers might be mad they can’t open carry, but what are they going to do, go to Target (no pun intended)?

My late mother was a Walmart addict. I had to tell her people don’t visit Hawaii to go to Walmart. They go to Costco.

Now, Walmart is requiring face masks to be worn at each of its stores nationwide. This is a good thing. The list of stores with this requirement is growing. It includes Best Buy, Starbucks, Costco, Apple, Dollar Tree, Trader Joe’s, and of course Whole Foods.

Donald Trump visited Walter Reed Hospital last week just for an excuse to finally stage a photo-op with a mask, so he could look somewhat responsible. Otherwise, Donald Trump is discouraging mask-wearing and his base of stupid racist fucknuts believe it’s a conspiracy by the big government to control them. They believe mask wearers are cowards (while they’re afraid to leave their homes without a gun) and they’ll be damned if they’re going to start wearing face masks just because it’s the safe thing to do, like seatbelts. Face masks and seatbelts are for pussies, don’t you know?

The people who are not wearing face masks are disrespecting everyone. They’re going beyond disrespecting we who are wearing masks and putting some effort into it. They’re disrespecting the health workers who have to treat Covid patients. If you’re not wearing a face mask, you’re just being an asshole. Every time I’m shopping and I see you without a face mask, I want to kick you in the balls…if I could find them.

You do not have a right to shop at Giant, or Walmart, or Target, or wherever you choose. Businesses are private and it’s a privilege to shop at them. They can kick you out.

If every single one of us wore a face mask, we’d probably kick the coronavirus out of our nation in a matter of weeks. Yet, people want to be assholes. Wearing a face mask is too much of a hassle for them. It’s too much of a hassle even for some governors.

Florida, Georiga, and Texas rushed to reopen. They skipped over several safety steps to do so. Now, while cases are decreasing from the former hot spots of New York City and Michigan, they’re spiking in those red states. The governor of Oklahoma, who attended the Trump Tulsa hate rally, has tested positive for coronavirus…just like the mask-hating president of Brazil. At what point will Republicans put two and two together and arrive at four?

Wearing mask good. Not wearing mask bad.

While Greg Abbott, the Governor of Texas, realized he opened his state too quickly and is now requiring face masks to be worn publicly, Florida’s stupid Governor, Ron DeSantis, is still in denial as is Governor Brian Kemp of Georgia. Kemp is actually fighting the mayor of Atlanta over her mandate for masks to be worn in her city. These governors are willing to risk your life so they can get Donald Trump’s approval. They would rather your child catch a deadly virus than for them to catch a hate tweet.

Conservatives still don’t get it. They think wearing the mask is a personal choice. They think if you feel safe, then you shouldn’t be forced to wear a mask. But it’s not your choice to infect me. MAGAts still don’t understand how the virus is spread. Wear a mask, you stupid motherfuckers. Wear a mask! Wear a mask! Wear a mask! Wear a mask, goddammit!

So here’s my prediction: There are going to be headlines very soon of altercations at Walmarts across the country caused by fuckers refusing to wear face masks. And a lot of them will be wearing MAGA shirts.


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  1. Not wearing a mask is as patriotic as going to Vietnam…just another working class ass-rape by the elites, and the plebes eat it up as being poor, uneducated and delusional is the most ‘Merican way to be.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Another great column but out of the blue, you mentioned not going to Hawaii to shop at Walmart. You reminded me of a trip we took to Hawaii to visit friends. They gave us very specific instructions: On the way from the airport, stop at Costco and pick up fresh fish.

    We had several great inexpensive meals, saving our pennies for other Hawaiian delights.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This one’s my fave because 1) the woman HAS a mask hanging from her ear; and 2) the patience and politeness of the manager(?) in blue jeans. I worked part-time for two years at the service desk of a big box store, and believe me, *I* wouldn’t have that kind of patience, not then, especially not now.

    And Mr. Trujillo: I can’t figure out just what it is you’re saying. Can you ‘splain it, without cursing?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. When she started her “Sit Down Strike” they should have gotten a big broom and swept her out with the rest of the dirt.

      BTW, do you know what happened after?
      Did they call the cops, or did she get bored and leave?

      Inquiring minds want to know.


    1. If I were wearing wear a plain mask (the few times I go out, for essentials only, like the vet clinic or curbside medicine pickup), I’d write ‘FUCK TRUMP!’ or ‘YOU CAN THANK TRUMP FOR THIS!’ on it (with a Sharpie, of course), or maybe pin my ‘Not my president, not now, now ever’ badge on it. Hubby gave me an AIREDALE mask, and I’m not about to write on that.

      Liked by 4 people

      1. I have one coming in the mail that has a smiley face and says “have a nice day” on it. That one will be fun to wear around with my political or geek t-shirts when I have to go to town. Amazing how some people seem to be apoplectic with fury at the idea of other people wearing masks. Guess they feel judged. I’ll kill ’em with kindness and a fake smile.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    #WearAMask … “Conservatives still don’t get it. They think wearing the mask is a personal choice. They think if you feel safe, then you shouldn’t be forced to wear a mask. But it’s not your choice to infect me. MAGAts still don’t understand how the virus is spread. Wear a mask, you stupid motherfuckers. Wear a mask! Wear a mask! Wear a mask! Wear a mask, goddammit!”

    Liked by 4 people

  5. I’ve been following the story of the Lenin the Starbucks Barista and the GoFundMe that raised over $100,000 (including my donation), but in case anyone here missed it . . . here’s a followup. I would call this one “The Mother of All Karens” . . .

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Geez! Doesn’t anyone get it? Masks are NOT to protect MY health, they are to protect YOU FROM anything I might have that could infect YOU! I sure wish I could make a mask against stupidity! We all need one for that, not to mention a vaccine against the Turd’s existence on this planet. Any idea how to convince him he could gain something by sitting on the bottom of a spaceship, preferably the part that is shed in the first blaze of glory after lift-off. Not that I wish him harm — just that he might find some equally stupid people in outer space. That seems to be where his brain or lack thereof is located. Some folks should not be allowed to be around the public unless they are on display in a zoo. BTW, here in Kentucky the governor has issued a mandate on mask wearing, yet when I went to the Kroger store a block from home half the workers were NOT wearing them and a larger number than I was comfortable with customers hadn’t bothered with them either.. Ask me if I’m going back.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m on their Consumer Trust Board and I have let them know about things that go on there many times. They don’t pay any attention because most people fail to speak up. They DO have a sign in the door now saying masks are required. I don’t know if that does any good or not since I now shop mainly at Aldi’s or Meijer’s.


    1. “And I do have asthma as well, and I do get mask-acne.”

      Oh dear, “The Heartbreak Of Mask-Acne”.

      I have heard from Many People, Many People, that the March Of Dimes has announced that since Polio has been virtually eliminated (except in a few “shithole” countries) it will now be dedicated to eliminating Mask-Acne.


  7. To the idiot who wrote this committee article. Go fuck yourself because it’s obvious you’re a Fascist pig! We are all adults and capable of taking care of our own selves and don’t need a bunch of ignorant Idiot’s telling us what we can and can’t do! Just because you have Trump doesn’t give any government official the right to dictate an Unconstitutional Order and don’t think the Silent Majority isn’t about to shut idiots like you down. You’re uneducated and need to do some more research into what your so called Marxist/Socialist Party is trying to do.

    This isn’t about a Conspiracy Theory as you put it dumb ass. This is about protecting my Freedom if Right’s and also dip shit! You all can murder babies up to 36 weeks so it’s my body, MY CHOICE and I for one won’t be wearing no mask not do I shop in your little CHINA ass store’s! So take your commie filled article and shove it up your ass until you choke on it because we the people don’t give a fuck about your feeling’s or your Nazi Agenda!!!!!!


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