Sweet Sticky Racism


cjones06202020

We now have a new guide for knowing if you’re a racist. If you’re upset over Aunt Jemima being retired, you’re a racist.

And you can cut that shit, “I grew up with Aunt Jemima.” So what? How does devouring racist pancakes as a child prove you’re not a racist today? And no, if you used products like Aunt Jemima, Mrs. Butterworth, or Uncle Ben…Jesus Christ, we are a racist country…it doesn’t mean you’re racist. It just means marketing works and your parents refused to buy store-brand syrup which is really the same shit. Seriously, 30 cents cheaper and without the racism.

We are a racist country. Aunt Jemima has been around for 130 years while Uncle Cracker only had one hit song. Why did it take 130 years to ditch this racist mammy stereotype?

In 1989 on her 100th birthday, Quaker Oats, the company that owns the product, decided she needed an update. So, what did they do? Change the name? Make her less mammy-like? Kinda. They removed her head covering and gave her an afro. She looked more like Florence from The Jeffersons and less like Hattie McDaniel. Quaker Oats was moving on up.

And, if you’re arguing that you don’t care because it’s crappy syrup anyway, you’re still not getting it. Using a racist stereotype shouldn’t be OK if it was good syrup.

You’d also think racist would pick and choose their arguments if they’re trying to conceal their racism. If you’ve been screaming systemic racism doesn’t exist, the confederate flag should fly high, confederate statues should remain standing, and white cops should be able to shoot black suspects in the back while they’re fleeing and then have their corpses kicked…maybe take a day off from the racist syrup issue?

One of my reliable fucknuts on social media who I can depend upon for the day’s right’wing racist spin came through for me yesterday. The new argument is: It’s not racist because the original actress who portrayed Aunt Jemima, a former slave named Nancy Green, became a millionaire from it. It’s still racist if you pay a black actor to portray a stereotype. Duh. Also, the product was named “Aunt Jemima.” What better way to make your character look like a slave than by hiring someone who was an actual slave?

And maybe they should do a bit more research than Facebook memes because Aunt Jemima was inspired by…wait for it because this is good and it’s worth waiting for…vaudeville performers in blackface. To be more specific, white vaudeville performers in blackface.

Seriously, racists. Take a day. You’ll have a new one tomorrow. Oh, it’s already here. You can defend Atlanta cops for ignoring the “protect and serve” part of their job by calling in sick to protest other cops being charged for murder for murdering a black guy.

Racists, you may be losing your racist confederate symbols and have lost your syrup with Uncle Ben and Aunt Jemima on the ropes as well, but you still have Uncle Cracker. By Uncle Cracker, I mean Donald Trump. You still have that…for now.

Black lives matter. Your racist stereotypes do not.

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2 comments

  1. BRILLIANT JUST FREAKING BRILLIANT…. i was struggling with an idea for this… couldn’t wait to see what you did, Clay…….. YOU DID NOT DISAPPOINT !!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kicking a corpse is one way racist cops verify if the person is decent (no black cooties can get on you… The body shakes like jello, I saw it happen once, the Body of a black man smoked by a murderous cop in 1973.

      Like

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