I spent Sunday night in Washington, D.C. in a crappy hotel room. It wasn’t a Motel 6 or any chain type hotel. It was just a really old hotel that appears to have been neglected. It was so outdated, that I had an actual key, not a card, to my room. I was complaining about how tiny the desk was because I could barely squeeze both legs under it…until I realized the socket next to it didn’t work and I was able to move it across the room. I needed my tablet to charge so I could cartoon. The elevator in the place took so long that you were better off taking the stairs. The pillows were more like non-pillows that were created just to tease your skull. And finally, the toilet broke. But, I at least have the comfort that creepy Trump goon Stephen Miller has probably never had sex in that room.
First off, it was next to the Algerian embassy and several others on the street were African and there’s no way Stephen Miller would be able to sleep that close to so many “shithole” countries. Secondly, it wasn’t a Trump property.
All Trump goons do their business at Trump’s hotel in Washington. They all have lunch there. Rudy Giuliani and his goons strategized their Ukraine gooning there. They all book rooms there. William Barr booked a party there. Former EPA chief Scott Pruitt wanted to purchase a used mattress from there (just buy a new mattress). And, Stephen Miller got married there over the weekend. Was the Fuhrerbunker already booked?
Sorry, ladies. Stephen Miller is now taken.
I know what you’re thinking. How did Stephen goose-stepping, spray-on-hair-using, talk-show-shouting, brown-people-hating Miller find a woman willing to marry him? My first thought was it’s a mail-order bride thing and no pictures were exchanged beforehand. That would be horrifying to see that in the airport terminal holding a sign with your name on it. But, no. This woman didn’t just see Captain Forehead beforehand. She actually knows him.
Katie Waldman, the new Mrs. Miller, is press secretary for Mike Pence. While attending the University of Florida, she was responsible for destroying hundreds of copies of the school newspaper after it endorsed an opposing student government candidate. She was press secretary at the Department of Homeland Security and was on Arizona Senator Martha McSally’s staff. McSally was the one who called CNN’s Manu Raju a “liberal hack” for asking her a question. In Washington, vile people run together.
But, congratulations, Katie. Enjoy the many years to come of running your fingers through that scalp.
Stephen Miller may be one of the most horrid people in the Trump administration and maybe the entire Republican Party. He helped write Trump’s “American carnage” inaugural address and went on a news show afterward to say, “The president’s authority would not be questioned.” He was behind the Muslim ban. Recently, the Southern Poverty Law Center discovered he promoted white nationalist views in emails with Breitbart News during the 2016 campaign. He was central to Trump’s “zero tolerance” in which every adult who illegally crosses the border faced criminal prosecution. He was also heavily involved with the blanket policy of separating families and throwing babies in jail.
While working at DHS, Katie told the press that there wasn’t a blanket policy of separating families. Of course, that was a lie which is probably what made her and Stephen Miller creepy soul mates. Lying and racism. They should have his and her towels.
Katie is also full-on Trump troglodyte with Stephen, so they have that in common. In fact, they’re such sycophantic Trump MAGAts, they got married at Trump’s Washington hotel. Maybe Stephen would have burst into flames by walking into a church, but why Trump’s hotel? Can’t these people at least have one special day in their lives without kissing Donald Trump’s ass? No. They can’t.
While it’s disturbing to think of the prospect of Stephen Miller procreating, the real irony is that any offspring of his probably should be kept in cages.
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