Stephen Miller

Cork In The Union

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Cartoonist note: If you heard the analogy in this cartoon before, it’s because I tweeted and facebooked it yesterday.

In case you haven’t noticed by now, Donald Trump is a man-baby who doesn’t just need approval (why doesn’t The New York Times like him?), he craves adoration. Every cabinet meeting begins with genuflection and the entire room surrendering their dignity.

So, the yearly State of the Union speech before both houses of Congress where the entire room applauds when you walk in and your arrival is announced as if you’re Elvis is like a day of cake, ice cream, Time Magazine covers, and hamberders to Donald Trump. Taking that away from Trump would be a dagger to his ultra-thin whiny ego. That’s exactly where House Speaker Nancy Pelosi stuck it.

Citing security concerns during the Trump shutdown, Pelosi suggested that Trump postpones or cancel his speech until the government reopens. It makes sense as the speech usually starts about how strong our union is. Naturally, Donald Trump wouldn’t want to lie during a government shutdown…oh yeah. This is Donald Trump.

There is no requirement for the president to deliver his speech in person. It’s more of a tradition, like the president saluting members of the military or releasing his taxes. The requirement in the Constitution is that the president “shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union, and recommend to their Consideration such measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient.” It doesn’t even say he has to do it annually (if you’re a Republican, “annually” means once a year). The tradition of delivering it in person was started by President Woodrow Wilson in 1913, which is something Trump probably does not know. It wasn’t even referred to as the “State of the Union” until 1934 when President Franklin Delano Roosevelt used the term.

President George Washington (if you’re a Republican, that’s our first president), did deliver his speech in person, but President Thomas Jefferson ended that, considering it too “monarchical” (if you’re a Republican, that means all king-like and prancy). Every president since Wilson has given it in person at least once except Herbert Hoover (Edit: I messed up and wrote that Hoover was Wilson’s “predecessor” intending to write immediate “successor,” and I even got that wrong. Hoover was two presidents after Wilson. I messed up). The last president to deliver it by letter was President Jimmy Carter in his last year, after being defeated by Ronald Reagan.

A lot of Republicans were angered by Pelosi’s move, because it was brilliant. Until now, the only way Trump could relate to the suffering of government employees not receiving paychecks to pay their bills, feed their families, pay daycare, put gas in their cars, etc., was that he hasn’t been able to go to his swanky, private golf resort in Florida, play golf, let wedding guests pose with the nuclear football, and bilk the government for his stay. He reminds us of this almost daily since the shutdown began. Oh, the suffering. Pelosi just took away the one thing he could look forward to, other than all those hamberders.

Now, Trump has struck back. He grounded military flights for Pelosi and other members of Congress, minutes before they were to leave on a secret trip to visit troops in Afghanistan. On the same day, he allowed a military plane to fly First Lady Melania to that snobby golf resort.

Trump’s move, coming just a day after Pelosi suggested he not give the State of the Union, is petty. Pelosi’s move can actually make Trump more eager to end the shutdown since low approval numbers and starving federal workers aren’t making an impression. It was also negligent since the trip was secret and has put service members in danger that will be transporting and protecting the delegation. It also cost thousands of dollars to cancel it on such an abrupt notice.

Trump, being the petty child that he is, wrote in his letter that Pelosi was free to make her trip on a commercial flight. How nice of him to suggest the second person in line to the presidency take a commercial flight while air traffic controllers aren’t being paid and after he declassified the mission. But then again, Trump doesn’t care about endangering American lives as his “ISIS is dead” comment only triggered the terrorist organization to kill four Americans this week.

I have a suggestion to Trump. Since Pelosi can’t make the trip (and he did visit Iraq during this shutdown without flying commercial), and he hasn’t been to Afghanistan in the two years he’s been president (Obama went four times), he should take her place. He should just be sure to announce publicly when and where he’s going.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Spray-On Hatred

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I did Nazi that coming. White House hate czar Stephen Miller popped into Face the Nation on Sunday to bloviate about the dangers of immigrants while sporting something on his head that looked like a recalled Chia Pet. Miller should stop taking hair advice from the president and raiding his Adderall.

Miller spent the bulk of his time on CBS promising that Trump would shut down the government if he doesn’t get funding for his racist, xenophobic border wall while pretending that stuff on his head came from his scalp and not a can.

Miller argued that refusing to fund the border wall was the same thing as advocating for illegal immigration and said, “Democrats have a simple choice between fighting for America’s working class and promoting illegal immigration.” I’d argue that milking $5 billion out of the budget for a useless wall that can be defeated by ladders does more harm to America’s working class than immigrants. Miller would probably enjoy kicking over cartons of water left by humanitarians for immigrants, except the desert sun would melt his faux follicles.

What makes less sense than Miller’s new hairline is threatening to shut down the government and having those guarding the border going unpaid. Can we stop the dogmatic lie that those against the wall are in favor of an unprotected border?

The wall is a ridiculous argument but it’s loved by those who love simple solutions and talking points. “Build the wall” is a fun chant for sycophants who form their opinions from internet memes. There’s no thinking required.

The wall is impossible. We can’t build a wall to cover our entire border when it would have to go over private property, mountains, and rivers. If we can’t protect our entire border then how are we going to protect the entire wall from people going over or under it? We’re talking about something that will cost between $20 to $70 billion dollars that can be conquered by Mexican ladders.

On top of all that, the wall is hateful. If the wall is ever actually constructed, it will be a dark spot on our nation’s history alongside slavery and the internment of Japanese Americans. If the wall is built, someday a more enlightened United States will tear it down.

But the wall will never be built. Stephen Miller has a better chance of needing a comb before that wall’s ever constructed.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

R U Being Served?

cjones06292018

Last week during a trip to Texas for a photo-op at a detention center holding migrant children the Trump administration separated from their parents, Melania Trump wore her now infamous “I REALLY DON’T CARE. DO U?” jacket.

Melania’s spokesperson issued a statement that the First Lady wasn’t sending a message despite the fact there was a literal message on the jacket. Then, the president undercut Melania’s team by saying it was a message to the “lying” media, and that Melania doesn’t care what they say.

Whether Melania was sending a message to the media, her husband, or on the issue, “I really don’t care” sums up the Trump administrations’ attitude toward human rights. In fact, the United States pulled out of the United Nations’ Human Rights Commission last week citing the abysmal human rights records of many of its members. Now, on the issue of human rights, the U.S. is becoming a pariah throughout the world…and in fine dining establishments in the Washington Beltway.

After lying to the nation that there was not a policy separating migrant families, Homeland Security Director Kirstjen Nielsen was booed out of a Washington Mexican restaurant. A few days earlier, the architect of the racist policy, White House adviser Stephen Miller was also heckled at a Mexican restaurant. Inflicting lifelong trauma on migrant children must make one acquire a hankering for tacos. If Hillary was elected, these ghouls wouldn’t need to hunt down Mexican restaurants as there’d be a taco truck on every corner.

White House spokesgoon Sarah Huckabee Sanders was asked to leave the Red Hen restaurant in Lexington, Virginia over the weekend. One of the owners said Sanders works in an “inhumane and unethical” administration. That point was proven on the ethics part after Sanders used her government Twitter account to smear the establishment. Sander wrote, “I always do my best to treat people, including those I disagree with, respectfully and will continue to do so,” which is a lie. It’s not with respect when she lies to the nation and insults members of the media for asking questions she refuses to answer, like saying some sentences are too big for Jim Acosta at CNN.

Sanders was upset about being kicked out because she works for Trump, which highlights why she was kicked out. She doesn’t work for Trump. She works for you and me. We pay her, Trump doesn’t. How does she do the job we’re paying her for? She lies and supports an administration that is tearing our nation apart.

Trump jumped in to smear the restaurant Monday morning with a tweet of his own. The guy can’t say anything slightly critical of dictators, but he’s one step away from writing Yelp reviews. Not only did the president’s spokesperson attack a private business because of a personal grudge, so did the president of the United States. Kids in cages and baby prisons aren’t nearly as upsetting as Sarah not being able to get a churro.

Trump’s supporters, white Christians who claim they’re the most persecuted people ever in the existence of the Earth, attacked the Red Hen by writing nasty reviews online, forgetting the celebrations they recently had over an Indiana bakery being able to refuse to make gay wedding cakes.

A restaurant can’t refuse service based on religion, sexual orientation, or the color of your skin. But they can kick you out if they think you’re a jerk. Years ago, a restaurant asked O.J. Simpson to leave because they didn’t want to serve a man many people believe is a murderer. Recently, a court in New York ruled that a bar can refuse service to a man wearing a MAGA hat. The court said political viewpoints are not protected from discrimination.

I saw a cartoon recently of a maître d’ telling a couple, “I’m afraid we can’t allow two fat ugly bastards like you to have a window table.” Maybe some restaurants don’t want to be known for serving bastards who work in a racist, stupid, lying, corrupt administration.

Trump has taken this opportunity with the Red Hen to turn it into a red herring. He tweeted, “The Red Hen Restaurant should focus more on cleaning its filthy canopies, doors and windows (badly needs a paint job) rather than refusing to serve a fine person like Sarah Huckabee Sanders. I always had a rule, if a restaurant is dirty on the outside, it is dirty on the inside!”

I have the same rule toward politicians. If a politician has a ridiculous comb-over, fake spray tan, and can’t find a suit that fits thus looking like a jackass, then he’s probably a jackass.

Watch me draw.

Thank you for your support. Reader contributions really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and the First Amendment, and independent journalism while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Lost Hope For Eye Candy

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I don’t really have much to say about today’s cartoon, except, there’s probably something wrong with me.

I was going to do something with a strong, poignant opinion. Then, I thought of this and it made me laugh. I don’t make myself laugh very often. I tried to take a nap, but I kept laughing thinking about it. I had to draw it.

That’s it. Blog done. I’ll try to be poignant and less of a knucklehead tomorrow.

The video.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

Trump Takes A Dump

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Yesterday I tweeted, “it’s going to be a very racist day at the White House,”  and that was before I knew Stephen Miller was going to speak.

Wednesday, the Trump administration rolled out a plan to sue colleges they’re accusing to have discriminated against white people with affirmative action programs and a new immigration plan that will give preference to those who speak English before entering the country. The immigration plan puts a strong emphasis on job skills. It doesn’t do anything to thwart illegal immigration. It’s basically a racist wolf whistle. The day was full of wolf whistles.

The thing is, Trump doesn’t really need these efforts to succeed or become law. He just needs to push them as that will give red meat to his ever-decreasing base which consists of racists and xenophobic people. A new poll shows that Trump’s approval is rotting at 33% while 61% says he’s doing a crappy job and 60% says he’s a big fat liar emitting lies from the big fat lying hole in his face. I might have worded that a little differently. But, it’s pretty bad when a strong majority of the nation believes you’re full of shit. Fifty-four percent say they are embarrassed that he’s president. We should all be embarrassed.

Trump had assistance in announcing the new immigration policy with help from two Southern white senators named Tom Cotton and David Perdue. Seriously. And, who better to sell a brand new ultra-racist immigration party than your pet white-nationalist xenophobe, Stephen Miller? Having Miller sell this policy proves they’re not serious and they just want to cater to the Breitbart crowd.

The racist Stephen Miller is not to be confused with the cool Steve Miller who wrote “The Joker” who will now officially change his name to “Maurice.” While the musician Miller is a “lover, and a sinner, a picker, and a grinner,” the racist Miller is a “hater, a faker, a bullshit taker.”

Baby Goebbels presented Trump’s plan and masked his inability to answer serious questions by throwing gutter balls at the press.

CNN’s Jim Acosta asked, “The Statue of Liberty says ‘give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.’ It doesn’t say anything about speaking English or being able to be a computer programmer. Aren’t you trying to change what it means to be an immigrant coming into this country if you’re telling them you have to speak English? Can’t people learn how to speak English when they get here?”

From there, Miller went into a fake tirade with, “I don’t want to get off into a whole thing about history here, but the Statue of Liberty is a symbol of liberty enlightening the world; it’s a symbol of American liberty lighting the world. The poem that you’re referring to that was added later and is not part of the original Statue of Liberty.” Since the poem was added later that means it’s “not” a part of the Statue of Liberty? That’s like saying Brian Johnson isn’t a part of AC/DC because he was added after original singer Bon Scott gagged on his puke in a car. With that logic, we should get rid of the 13th Amendment which prohibits slavery, since it’s not the 1st Amendment. Conservatives suck at comprehension.

When Acosta asked Miller if this new English-speakers-only policy would limit entry to just immigrants from Great Britain and Australia (where they sort of speak English), Miller wolf-whistled at fellow racists by accusing Acosta of “cosmopolitan bias.” What the hell does that mean? Acosta knows how to lose a guy in ten days?

Miller said, “Jim, I have to honestly say, I am shocked at your statement that you think that only people form Great Britain and Australia would know English. “It’s actually — it reveals your cosmopolitan bias to a shocking degree that in your mind — no, this is an amazing moment, this is an amazing moment — that you think only people from Great Britain or Australia would speak English is so insulting to millions of hard-working immigrants from all over the world.” I think that actually shows Miller’s bias toward English, like saying someone can’t speak the white people language is an insult. I’m sure his defense of English speakers went over YUGE with the BIGLY crowd.

Miller characterized Acosta’s comments as, “one of the most outrageous, insulting, ignorant, and foolish things you’ve ever said.” This is why they don’t usually call on Acosta at press conferences. They can’t handle his pointed questions, and they totally freak out. A member of the administration explained official policy by calling a member of the press “ignorant.”

Miller was hailed by America for taking down and putting Jim Acosta in his place. Not really. Conservative assholes on Facebook hailed Miller and got new tattoos of his ridiculous-looking face inked on their asses. Ann Coulter even said that Miller should be “cloned and appointed to every cabinet position”. Seriously, Ann. You don’t need to clone Miller to put dumb-ass racists in the cabinet. That mission’s already been accomplished. But it is nice that racists with horse faces stick together.

I didn’t want to draw a cartoon just on the report that Trump told a bunch of golfers that the White House is a dump. Maybe he didn’t actually make that remark, but this is a man who hasn’t earned the benefit of doubt. However, whether he said it or not I do have creative license, and satire is protected in this nation. So, I wanted to show how Trump treats it like a dump. It’s not just the White House structure devoid of gold-plated toilet seats designed to cradle old-craggedly-orange asses that Trump has treated like a dump, it’s the entire presidency. This is a man who isn’t humble enough to take his position seriously and lacks the ability to appreciate what the citizens of this nation have given him. When he uses the bully pulpit to spread lies for his personal gains, vendettas, and to soothe his fragile ego, he’s taking a dump on the presidency and the trust we placed upon him.

Donald Trump wants to roll back all the progress this nation made with President Obama. But, with racist, xenophobic, nationalist, and stupid actions like these, he’s going to take us back to the Andrew Jackson administration.

Instead of Old Hickory, we’re stuck with Old Dickory.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Miller Time

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White House policy adviser Stephen Miller made the rounds on the Sunday talk shows and continued the lie about massive voter fraud. It was another statement of his that is cause for concern if not outright fear.

Miller stated “the powers of the president to protect our nation are very substantial and will not be questioned.”

Will not be questioned? We still have three branches of government, right?

Presidential power is always questioned. Every president gets taken to court over executive orders. Congress questions the president. The press questions the president. Even the president questions the president (usually). A president’s power should be challenged from time to time. He’s not a dictator. This isn’t North Korea.

Where are all those conservatives who declare themselves Constitutionalists? Why are they quiet now after screaming for eight years about Obama acting like a monarch?

What’s really scary is that according to a new Public Policy poll a majority of Trump voters believe he should be able to overrule a court. It also found that 51% of Trump voters believe the fictional Bowling Green massacre justifies the travel ban.

Journalists ask each other why Trump and his team continue to lie. It’s because his people truly believe everything he says. The guy can say New Jersey has been devoured by rabid gerbils and his people will believe it. What’s next? Tell us unprecedented is actually spelled “unpresidented?”

When they say Trump’s power can’t be questioned, his supporters will back that up. They’ll demand the press and the other two branches of government to let Trump do whatever the hell he wants, even if they don’t know what those two branches are. They will allow them to goose step all over the Constitution.

Miller, who previously worked for Michele Bachmann and Jeff Sessions, spreading disinformation and preaching blind obedience comes easy.

This is not an authoritarian fascist government and we can’t allow these people to turn it into one.

Any questions?

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