Stephen Miller

A Danish Denial


cjones08292019

Donald Trump was invited to Denmark by that nation’s queen. Despite saying that the idea of purchasing Greenland, the world’s largest island near the Arctic that’s controlled by Denmark, was “not number one on the burner,” Trump has now canceled his visit after being denied and mocked by the Danish prime minister.

Trump’s visit was seen as an offbeat thank-you to Denmark for being a stalwart NATO member that’s supported U.S. involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan. But his postponing the trip shows that his only intention was to make a crappy offer for the island.

Denmark is smart not to make a land deal with a grifter who doesn’t pay his bills and ruins everything he touches. Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen said that she wouldn’t even have “interest in discussing the purchase of Greenland.”

Af first, Denmark considered it a joke. After discovering he was serious, they took it as an insult. Frederiksen had visited Greenland over the weekend and told reporters that Trump’s idea of buying the island was “absurd.” Welcome to our reality, Mrs. Prime Minister. Every day here just gets more absurd. Example: Trump wants to buy Greenland.

Since Trump claimed the purchase of Greenland was not related to his visit to Denmark, why did he abruptly cancel his trip? It’s because he’s a big baby.

Trump was never to entitled Greenland though he’s in the habit of everyone bending over backward and kissing his ass. What sort of tantrum would he have had thrown if he had lost the election? We’ve seen his tantrums over losing the popular vote and having the smallest inauguration. What will his tantrum be like when he’s defeated in 2020? I’m looking forward to finding that out.

When we purchased Alaska and the Louisiana territory, they were for sale (in case you’re a Republican, Alaska was sold by Russia and Louisiana by France). When we took Hawaii, we stole it (in case you’re a Republican, we stole it from Hawaiians). We stole and bought the American southwest. Puerto Rico, Guam, and the Philippines were ceded to us by Spain after the Spanish-American War. American Samoa was annexed. Spain ceded Florida to us in 1821 as a prank. The days of taking, buying, and selling territory without any consideration given to the native inhabitants are pretty much over. There are two people apparently unaware of that; Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump.

The United States has never had a claim on Greenland. Donald Trump is a big baby to be insulted by Denmark’s refusal to discuss selling it to him. He’s the one who insulted them first. How would he feel if Denmark offered to purchase Montana, then got a hair up their ass when we told them the idea was “absurd.”

Donald Trump is absurd and once again, we’re being laughed at on the world stage. Trump is confused that having a little orange snit and tempter tantrum is viewed as being strong. It’s not. When a baby screams its head off in the grocery store because the parents won’t buy it a candy bar, nobody sees that baby as being strong. They see it as being a baby and everyone in close proximity really dislikes that baby and the parents spend the rest of their time in the store apologizing for it.

Screaming and crying works for babies…sometimes. It doesn’t work for adults or even people like Trump who are supposed to be adults.

The world sees Donald Trump as being a baby. Nobody outside the U.S. likes that baby and we’re going to be apologizing for it for a really long time. Thanks to Donald Trump, we can’t even give Canada grief for Bryan Adams or Justin Beiber anymore. Maybe Nickelback.

Denmark is the big winner here. Not only did they get to deny Trump and mock him on the world stage, but now they don’t have to put up with an obnoxious Trump visit. I am now officially jealous of Denmark.

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As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Meet The Millers


cjones04182019

In another move to prove he and his sycophantic supporters are vile, disgusting, horrible, and just downright cruel human beings, Donald Trump is threatening to dump immigrants into sanctuary cities.

Cities that are considered “sanctuaries” for immigrants in this nation illegally are mostly Democratic. What these cities don’t do is extend their resources to the federal government in pursuing immigrants. It means an immigrant can report a crime without fearing his good samaritanship will get him deported. It makes sense.

After it was reported that this vile idea from Senior White House Goon Stephen Miller was being considered, the White House issued a statement saying it was proposed but quickly rejected. Reminding his staff that it’s not smart to put your name on any official statement because you’ll get cut off at the knees, Donald Trump tweeted that he was taking the idea seriously.

If you support this proposal then you’re as horrible and cruel as Donald Trump, who has staked his entire presidency on the border situation. He’s created a crisis where one didn’t exist. He promised a border wall and that Mexico would pay for it. Failing that, he shut down the government for funding and failed there too, caving to Nancy Pelosi. Trump has gotten so desperate for his vanity project that he’s placed a plaque with his name on it at a section of border fencing that was funded before his presidency.

Trump has made the claim that immigrants are animals, rapists, and murderers. If that’s the case, isn’t dumping them on cities placing Americans in danger? Is Trump hoping there’s a murder from an immigrant so he can divide the nation on this even further? Does he believe trucking in busloads of immigrants like unwanted cats that grew out of the cute kitten stage will sway the citizens in those cities to support his racist policies?

Undocumented immigrants commit fewer crimes than American citizens. Still, Trump has framed them as gangsters and terrorists coming into this nation to spread drugs, weapons and to murder God-fearing Christians. While he’s accused them of being animals, he’s treating them as such by making them political pawns and weapons. It’s also an attempt to stoke racial tensions and fears. The funny thing is, Republicans accused Obama of being the most divisive president in American history.

It was also reported that Trump told his former director of Border Patrol that he would pardon him if he was jailed for violating immigration laws on Trump’s orders. If this is true or Trump does dump immigrants in cities to punish his political enemies, then he should be impeached.

It doesn’t come as a surprise that Donald Trump is a failed president because he failed at being a human being years ago.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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Nice Girls Finish Last


cjones04132019

According to Maggie Haberman of The New York Times, one reason Kirstjen Nielsen hung in so long as the head of the Department of Homeland Security is that “she was aware how awful life would/will be for her on the outside,” given her role in defending Donald Trump’s policies. That should be the case for anyone who has served, currently serving, or going to serve in the Trump White House. All these people should be treated like the guy who directed Billy Squier’s “Rock Me Tonight” video. Who the hell wants to work with that guy?

Nielsen did not create Trump’s policy of separating migrant families, but she should be known forever as the person who carried it out. She separated families, put babies in cages, and lied to Congress that the policy didn’t exist. She should get the Aldo Raine treatment so she can be “ingloriously” identified with it for the rest of her life. Now, the inept Trump administration says it can take up to two years to identify thousands of separated migrant children.

After John Kelly left his post as Chief of Staff, Nielsen was left without any allies in the White House. She was expected to be even tougher on the border, even if laws were violated. Apparently, that’s where she stood her ground and her enemies used it against her, from son-in-law Jared Kushner, Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney, National Security Adviser John Bolton to White House Adviser Stephen Miller. The person who was least happy with Nielsen was Trump himself, who really loves the child separation policy.

As legal experts challenge Trump’s authority to bypass a senior Homeland Security official in order to install a hand-picked acting head of the Cabinet agency that oversees immigration enforcement, it’s obvious the real director is Stephen Miller.

Miller has been guiding Trump’s hand with immigration and it’s being reported he’s seeking a purge of DHS, as the head of the Secret Service was also let go Monday. He’s most likely the biggest cheerleader of the U.S. ending all aid to Guatemala, Honduras, and El Salvador, or as Fox News described them, “Three Mexican countries.”

Miller may also be behind Trump telling Border agents not to let anyone into the country to press for asylum, thus forcing them to enter the country illegally where they can arrest and detain them. Yesterday, a court ordered a halt to Trump’s “remain in Mexico” policy, which forces certain non-Mexican asylum seekers to wait in Mexico during their court proceedings.

Trump and Baby Goebbels Miller are trying to create a situation for immigrants that’s worse in America than if they stayed home. While they are creating horrible conditions and hurdles for them, they can’t make it more discouraging than their homeland unless they start killing them. Let’s not give Baby Goebbels any ideas.

Ron Vitiello’s nomination to permanently lead Immigration and Customs Enforcement was pulled after Trump remarked that “we want to go in a tougher direction.” Nielsen wasn’t tough enough for Trump even as she carried out his policy of separating families and throwing babies in Jail. All signs, such as Trump saying “America is full,” are showing a return to that policy and even tougher measures.

Trump and Miller seek to make the United States a horrible place where nobody would dream of immigrating to. It’s becoming a place where many people dream of leaving.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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Cork In The Union


cjones01232019

Cartoonist note: If you heard the analogy in this cartoon before, it’s because I tweeted and facebooked it yesterday.

In case you haven’t noticed by now, Donald Trump is a man-baby who doesn’t just need approval (why doesn’t The New York Times like him?), he craves adoration. Every cabinet meeting begins with genuflection and the entire room surrendering their dignity.

So, the yearly State of the Union speech before both houses of Congress where the entire room applauds when you walk in and your arrival is announced as if you’re Elvis is like a day of cake, ice cream, Time Magazine covers, and hamberders to Donald Trump. Taking that away from Trump would be a dagger to his ultra-thin whiny ego. That’s exactly where House Speaker Nancy Pelosi stuck it.

Citing security concerns during the Trump shutdown, Pelosi suggested that Trump postpones or cancel his speech until the government reopens. It makes sense as the speech usually starts about how strong our union is. Naturally, Donald Trump wouldn’t want to lie during a government shutdown…oh yeah. This is Donald Trump.

There is no requirement for the president to deliver his speech in person. It’s more of a tradition, like the president saluting members of the military or releasing his taxes. The requirement in the Constitution is that the president “shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union, and recommend to their Consideration such measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient.” It doesn’t even say he has to do it annually (if you’re a Republican, “annually” means once a year). The tradition of delivering it in person was started by President Woodrow Wilson in 1913, which is something Trump probably does not know. It wasn’t even referred to as the “State of the Union” until 1934 when President Franklin Delano Roosevelt used the term.

President George Washington (if you’re a Republican, that’s our first president), did deliver his speech in person, but President Thomas Jefferson ended that, considering it too “monarchical” (if you’re a Republican, that means all king-like and prancy). Every president since Wilson has given it in person at least once except Herbert Hoover (Edit: I messed up and wrote that Hoover was Wilson’s “predecessor” intending to write immediate “successor,” and I even got that wrong. Hoover was two presidents after Wilson. I messed up). The last president to deliver it by letter was President Jimmy Carter in his last year, after being defeated by Ronald Reagan.

A lot of Republicans were angered by Pelosi’s move, because it was brilliant. Until now, the only way Trump could relate to the suffering of government employees not receiving paychecks to pay their bills, feed their families, pay daycare, put gas in their cars, etc., was that he hasn’t been able to go to his swanky, private golf resort in Florida, play golf, let wedding guests pose with the nuclear football, and bilk the government for his stay. He reminds us of this almost daily since the shutdown began. Oh, the suffering. Pelosi just took away the one thing he could look forward to, other than all those hamberders.

Now, Trump has struck back. He grounded military flights for Pelosi and other members of Congress, minutes before they were to leave on a secret trip to visit troops in Afghanistan. On the same day, he allowed a military plane to fly First Lady Melania to that snobby golf resort.

Trump’s move, coming just a day after Pelosi suggested he not give the State of the Union, is petty. Pelosi’s move can actually make Trump more eager to end the shutdown since low approval numbers and starving federal workers aren’t making an impression. It was also negligent since the trip was secret and has put service members in danger that will be transporting and protecting the delegation. It also cost thousands of dollars to cancel it on such an abrupt notice.

Trump, being the petty child that he is, wrote in his letter that Pelosi was free to make her trip on a commercial flight. How nice of him to suggest the second person in line to the presidency take a commercial flight while air traffic controllers aren’t being paid and after he declassified the mission. But then again, Trump doesn’t care about endangering American lives as his “ISIS is dead” comment only triggered the terrorist organization to kill four Americans this week.

I have a suggestion to Trump. Since Pelosi can’t make the trip (and he did visit Iraq during this shutdown without flying commercial), and he hasn’t been to Afghanistan in the two years he’s been president (Obama went four times), he should take her place. He should just be sure to announce publicly when and where he’s going.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Spray-On Hatred


cjones12232018

I did Nazi that coming. White House hate czar Stephen Miller popped into Face the Nation on Sunday to bloviate about the dangers of immigrants while sporting something on his head that looked like a recalled Chia Pet. Miller should stop taking hair advice from the president and raiding his Adderall.

Miller spent the bulk of his time on CBS promising that Trump would shut down the government if he doesn’t get funding for his racist, xenophobic border wall while pretending that stuff on his head came from his scalp and not a can.

Miller argued that refusing to fund the border wall was the same thing as advocating for illegal immigration and said, “Democrats have a simple choice between fighting for America’s working class and promoting illegal immigration.” I’d argue that milking $5 billion out of the budget for a useless wall that can be defeated by ladders does more harm to America’s working class than immigrants. Miller would probably enjoy kicking over cartons of water left by humanitarians for immigrants, except the desert sun would melt his faux follicles.

What makes less sense than Miller’s new hairline is threatening to shut down the government and having those guarding the border going unpaid. Can we stop the dogmatic lie that those against the wall are in favor of an unprotected border?

The wall is a ridiculous argument but it’s loved by those who love simple solutions and talking points. “Build the wall” is a fun chant for sycophants who form their opinions from internet memes. There’s no thinking required.

The wall is impossible. We can’t build a wall to cover our entire border when it would have to go over private property, mountains, and rivers. If we can’t protect our entire border then how are we going to protect the entire wall from people going over or under it? We’re talking about something that will cost between $20 to $70 billion dollars that can be conquered by Mexican ladders.

On top of all that, the wall is hateful. If the wall is ever actually constructed, it will be a dark spot on our nation’s history alongside slavery and the internment of Japanese Americans. If the wall is built, someday a more enlightened United States will tear it down.

But the wall will never be built. Stephen Miller has a better chance of needing a comb before that wall’s ever constructed.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

R U Being Served?


cjones06292018

Last week during a trip to Texas for a photo-op at a detention center holding migrant children the Trump administration separated from their parents, Melania Trump wore her now infamous “I REALLY DON’T CARE. DO U?” jacket.

Melania’s spokesperson issued a statement that the First Lady wasn’t sending a message despite the fact there was a literal message on the jacket. Then, the president undercut Melania’s team by saying it was a message to the “lying” media, and that Melania doesn’t care what they say.

Whether Melania was sending a message to the media, her husband, or on the issue, “I really don’t care” sums up the Trump administrations’ attitude toward human rights. In fact, the United States pulled out of the United Nations’ Human Rights Commission last week citing the abysmal human rights records of many of its members. Now, on the issue of human rights, the U.S. is becoming a pariah throughout the world…and in fine dining establishments in the Washington Beltway.

After lying to the nation that there was not a policy separating migrant families, Homeland Security Director Kirstjen Nielsen was booed out of a Washington Mexican restaurant. A few days earlier, the architect of the racist policy, White House adviser Stephen Miller was also heckled at a Mexican restaurant. Inflicting lifelong trauma on migrant children must make one acquire a hankering for tacos. If Hillary was elected, these ghouls wouldn’t need to hunt down Mexican restaurants as there’d be a taco truck on every corner.

White House spokesgoon Sarah Huckabee Sanders was asked to leave the Red Hen restaurant in Lexington, Virginia over the weekend. One of the owners said Sanders works in an “inhumane and unethical” administration. That point was proven on the ethics part after Sanders used her government Twitter account to smear the establishment. Sander wrote, “I always do my best to treat people, including those I disagree with, respectfully and will continue to do so,” which is a lie. It’s not with respect when she lies to the nation and insults members of the media for asking questions she refuses to answer, like saying some sentences are too big for Jim Acosta at CNN.

Sanders was upset about being kicked out because she works for Trump, which highlights why she was kicked out. She doesn’t work for Trump. She works for you and me. We pay her, Trump doesn’t. How does she do the job we’re paying her for? She lies and supports an administration that is tearing our nation apart.

Trump jumped in to smear the restaurant Monday morning with a tweet of his own. The guy can’t say anything slightly critical of dictators, but he’s one step away from writing Yelp reviews. Not only did the president’s spokesperson attack a private business because of a personal grudge, so did the president of the United States. Kids in cages and baby prisons aren’t nearly as upsetting as Sarah not being able to get a churro.

Trump’s supporters, white Christians who claim they’re the most persecuted people ever in the existence of the Earth, attacked the Red Hen by writing nasty reviews online, forgetting the celebrations they recently had over an Indiana bakery being able to refuse to make gay wedding cakes.

A restaurant can’t refuse service based on religion, sexual orientation, or the color of your skin. But they can kick you out if they think you’re a jerk. Years ago, a restaurant asked O.J. Simpson to leave because they didn’t want to serve a man many people believe is a murderer. Recently, a court in New York ruled that a bar can refuse service to a man wearing a MAGA hat. The court said political viewpoints are not protected from discrimination.

I saw a cartoon recently of a maître d’ telling a couple, “I’m afraid we can’t allow two fat ugly bastards like you to have a window table.” Maybe some restaurants don’t want to be known for serving bastards who work in a racist, stupid, lying, corrupt administration.

Trump has taken this opportunity with the Red Hen to turn it into a red herring. He tweeted, “The Red Hen Restaurant should focus more on cleaning its filthy canopies, doors and windows (badly needs a paint job) rather than refusing to serve a fine person like Sarah Huckabee Sanders. I always had a rule, if a restaurant is dirty on the outside, it is dirty on the inside!”

I have the same rule toward politicians. If a politician has a ridiculous comb-over, fake spray tan, and can’t find a suit that fits thus looking like a jackass, then he’s probably a jackass.

Watch me draw.

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Lost Hope For Eye Candy


cjones03052018

I don’t really have much to say about today’s cartoon, except, there’s probably something wrong with me.

I was going to do something with a strong, poignant opinion. Then, I thought of this and it made me laugh. I don’t make myself laugh very often. I tried to take a nap, but I kept laughing thinking about it. I had to draw it.

That’s it. Blog done. I’ll try to be poignant and less of a knucklehead tomorrow.

The video.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude