Tripping On Nepotism

Do you want to call Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner as witnesses in Donald Trump’s impeachment trial? Why would anyone suggest that when they don’t have anything to do with Donald Trump’s attempt to bribe the president of Ukraine? Exactly. So, why call Hunter Biden? Oh, because there’s nepotism?

Does anyone in the Trump administration know the definition of nepotism? We know they don’t know “hypocrisy” or “irony.” We also know they don’t have a sense of humor. For the Republican readers among us, according to one dictionary, the definition of “nepotism” is, “The practice among those with power or influence of favoring relatives or friends, especially by giving them jobs.”

In case you’re a Donald Trump supporter and it’s still not clicking, here’s another one for you. Surreal: a mix of fact and fantasy.

Joe Biden’s son, Hunter, was hired to serve on a board of a Ukraine gas company called Burisma which was the focus of Trump’s request for that nation’s president to announce an investigation. There is very little doubt that Hunter would not have gotten this position if his father wasn’t vice president at the time. Reportedly, he was paid around $50,000 a month. No one has actually uncovered any crime here though the appearance isn’t good.

Part of Trump’s defense against impeachment is that Joe and Hunter Biden practiced nepotism. Obviously, this is just one of many examples that Trump’s defense is terrible unless they’re trying to impeach Hunter Biden.

Pam Bondi, one of Trump’s defense lawyers, made the case against nepotism, which was as “surreal” as her argument against corruption. Bondi was the Florida Attorney General who dropped an investigation into Trump University after receiving a campaign donation from the Trump Foundation. Paying her off was corrupt, and on top of that, they stole the money from a charity. It was like a corruption sandwich with a huge sour pickle on the side. They like their corruption with a side of corruption.

Talk about being obtuse: The day Pam Bondi was making this argument, Donald Trump was presenting a photo-op disguised as a Middle East peace plan drafted by…wait for it…Jared Kushner. In case you’re slow (a Republican), Jared is Trump’s son-in-law.

What experience does Jared have as a diplomat? None. In fact, the guy couldn’t even get a security clearance because of his financial entanglements and lies on the application, so Ivanka’s daddy overruled the FBI in handing him one. It’s the same case with Ivanka.

Last year, Jared went to Congress, and in a private meeting, he laid out an immigration plan he drafted. Republicans who were there were astonished at how ignorant he was on his own plan. And, he had it written out right in front of him. I’m sure, even with notes, Donald Trump couldn’t tell you the basics of Jared’s Mideast peace plan, and neither could Jared. But that’s OK because he’s family. When you only have your job because you’re family, you don’t have to be good at it.

Usually, when you hire a family member who’s not qualified for the job, you find something for them to do they can’t bungle, like somewhere in the copy room. Hopefully, changing toner won’t be too complicated and they don’t injure themselves with a stapler. What you don’t do is assign them the tasks of solving peace in the Middle East and immigration.

Another thing you don’t do after hiring your daughter and son-in-law for positions they’re not qualified for while your other two kids are raking in millions from foreign deals is…complain about nepotism.

When it comes to nepotism, Hunter Biden is a slacker. If Hunter made $50,000 a month from Burisma, then he made around $3 million during his time on the board. Ivanka and Jared made $135 million last year while working in the White House. Nepotism Barbie’s shares from the Trump Hotel in Washington, where every foreign diplomat books a room even when they’re not staying there, amounted to $4 million.

But wait. The hypocrisy doesn’t just stop there. Trump’s goon, Rudy Giuliani, who went to Ukraine to dredge up conspiracy theories on the Bidens, also has a son, Andrew. Where does that offspring work? Oh, he works in…wait for it…THE FREAKING WHITE HOUSE! What does Rudy’s son do? His official title is “Special Assistant to the President and Associate Director of the Office of Public Liaison.” That means he talks to people in the sports community. For that position, he’s paid $95,000 a year. As far as I can tell, Andrew’s only experience is being kicked off Duke University’s golf team and being a sales intern. While John Kelly was Chief-of-Staff, he revoked Andrew’s clearance to even enter the West Wing, which Mick Mulvaney, the now acting-Chief-of-Staff, has restored.

This White House could have found someone more qualified than Andrew Giuliani based upon their experience playing Madden NFL.

Granted, while Andrew, Ivanka, and Jared don’t have any qualifications or experience for their positions in the White House, neither does Donald Trump. He is so unqualified that he thinks it’s OK to hire family who isn’t qualified. This is how the Trump Organization is run.  Donald Trump promised to operate the government like his corrupt business and he kept that promise. He even hired corrupt people to argue against corruption.

Donald Trump has complained about people who have assaulted women. He’s complained about leakers. He’s complained about lying. He’s complained about people being careless with classified information. He’s even made fun of other people’s hair and weight. So, why shouldn’t he go after corruption and nepotism while practicing corruption and nepotism?

Quite frankly, I’m waiting for Donald Trump to argue that his nepotism is OK because he keeps it in the family.

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