Jared Kushner

Fox V. Fauci


cjones05202020

The current talking point in attacking Dr. Anthony Fauci, the leading infectious disease expert in the United States, is that he’s “unelected.”

Senator Rand Paul said he’s not the “end-all” of understanding how viruses and pandemics work. Actually, he is. Laura Ingraham points out he’s unelected. Tucker Carlson did the same while also calling him a “buffoon.”

These buffoons need to understand something. Dr. Fauci isn’t closing states, businesses, or schools. He’s giving advice. His advice comes from knowledge and experience. While Dr. Fauci isn’t a politician and isn’t an expert on the economy or business, the Fox buffoons are not doctors or scientists. Rand Paul is a doctor, but he’s an eye doctor and even then, I don’t think he’s the “end-all” of poking shit in your eyeball.

Do you know who else isn’t elected? Stephen Miller. Nobody voted for Stephen Miller yet he’s drawing up our immigration policy. Other than Mike Pence and Donald Trump, there’s not one person in the Trump administration anyone voted for. Not Betsy DeVos, Ben Carson, William Barr, or Mike Pompeo. Nobody voted for these people to be in their current positions but they’re all there legally.

And nobody voted for Jared Kushner. While you can argue over the experience of some of the cabinet members, Jared comes with none. Nada. Zilch. Zero. Jared’s expertise is only in being Donald Trump’s idiot son-in-law. Yet, Jared has been in charge of immigration and peace in the Middle East. Now, he’s one of the directors of our response to the coronavirus and told us the government stockpile of medical equipment wasn’t for the states and is “our stockpile,” as in the federal government’s stockpile.

Now, Jared is floating the idea of delaying the general election. Wouldn’t Republicans just love that? Hey, just like if you don’t test then you don’t get positive results, if we don’t hold an election, then we don’t have to count all those votes against Trump.

Answering a question from Time Magazine about postponing the general election because of the pandemic, Jared said, “I’m not sure I can commit one way or the other, but right now that’s the plan.” Yes, Jared. You can commit one way or the other. That way would be, “No. There are no plans to postpone the election because I’m not the one to make that call…and neither is Donald Trump.” That’s how you answer that question.

Who the hell is Jared Kushner to even tell us if there’s a plan or not on delaying the general election? What sort of arrogance and narcissism must this guy have to act as though he could plan it? Even DonaldTrump can’t plan it.

While the Covidiots at Fox News screams about Fauci being unelected and call him a “buffoon,” they ignore Jared’s idiocy and lack of qualifications while he floats the idea of violating the Constitution of the United States. Jared Kushner has NEVER accomplished or achieved anything in his life, other than being born rich, inheriting riches, and marrying rich.

The funny thing about the general election. It’s in the Constitution. Federal law stipulates when we hold the election, when states’ electors cast their votes and send them to Congress, and even when the president and vice-president’s tenures expire.

Congress would have to change federal law (one House is held by Democrats who are lead by Nancy Pelosi) to change the date of the election.

And, look at it this way: If we don’t hold an election, the president and vice president’s terms will automatically expire at noon on January 20, 2021, either way. If Donald Trump’s term expires and there’s no duly elected president because there wasn’t an election, say, “Hello, Madam President.” Because if there’s no election, she’s guaranteed to still be Speaker of the House and she’s next in line for the presidency after Trump and Pence.

Hmm. Maybe this no election thing isn’t a bad idea after all.

Here’s the other thing that pisses me off about this, that burns my cheese, chokes my goat, the fire that burns my ass: Fox News expressing concern about someone being unelected.

Fox News doesn’t care that Donald Trump is in the White House without a mandate. They don’t care he’s there after the majority of voters rejected him in 2016. They don’t care that Russians tampered with our election. They don’t care that Donald Trump is inviting foreign nations to tamper with the next one.

Fox News does not care when minority voters’ civil rights are violated by being removed from voter rolls. They didn’t care when thousands of American voters were removed from the rolls in Georgia’s last state election. They didn’t care that the guy who could remove them was the Republican candidate for governor. They didn’t care when he won.

Fox News didn’t care when thousands of Native Americans, people who are way more American than anyone at Fox News, weren’t allowed to vote in North Dakota.

So, Fox News…spare me your fainting spells over shit you don’t really care about. But, if you want to do it your way, Fox News…let’s hold Dr. Anthony Fauci to an election over Donald Trump.

As it currently stands, over 60% of Americans trust Dr. Fauci. Donald Trump, your hero, is hovering around 30%.

Quite frankly, Fox News buffoons…you don’t do well with elections so maybe you should stop talking and making demands about them.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Success Story


cjones05072020

Peter Bergen, CNN’s national security analyst wrote, “What is most galling as the nation faces its worse crisis since World War II is how the Trump family keeps demanding recognition for their brilliant work and also our thanks for the catastrophic mess they have helped land us all in.” That’s probably just a little more galling than the fact Donald Trump appoints family members to manage the worse crisis since World War II.

Would you have felt comfortable if the response to the attack on Pearl Harbor or on the World Trade Center was to be handled by Jared?

Jared, like his father-in-law, inherited everything he has in life and has the distinction of making the worst real-estate purchase in the history of Manhattan when he bought 666 5th Avenue. Perhaps his first clue should have been the address, “666.” But then again, perhaps Jared saw the address and it felt like home.

These are idiots, losing vast amounts of money on real-estate and bankrupting casinos, who can’t manage their own businesses…and for some reason we expect them to capably manage ours? For three years, we kept saying how lucky we’ve been that the only challenges Donald Trump’s had to face as president were the ones he created. Our luck ran out. Why did anyone believe a reality television host who bankrupts casinos and spreads conspiracy theories could lead the federal government through a pandemic challenge?

On The Apprentice, Donald Trump fired Gary Busey. Frankly, I’d rather have Busey managing this crisis over Jared Kushner.

Do you remember Jared’s championing of the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia? You know, the murderer? Do you recall his handling of our immigration policy? You know the one, where we’re throwing babies in jail. Do you recall his botching any chance of peace in the Middle East by taking Israel’s side and telling Palestinians that there will be no two-state solution?

If those aren’t recent enough, perhaps you can remember back to last March when Jared boasted about a Google site where you could have your symptoms tested. That site still doesn’t exist. Or how about when he told us the federal stockpile of medical equipment wasn’t for the states’ use…when that’s exactly what it’s for?

Last Wednesday, he went on Fox News to proclaim the Trump administration’s response to the coronavirus is “a great success story,” claiming “we have all the testing we need to start opening the country,” and “by July, the country’s really rocking again.”

I don’t see much of a success with the death of over 64,000 Americans, and counting. Not only are these idiots demanding to be congratulated and praised for doing a horrible job, but they’re also still lying about their horrible job.

They lied about the testing to begin with and they’re still lying. Donald Trump said, “Anyone who needs a test gets a test.” All the experts say we need to conduct at least one million tests a day by early June and 20 million a day by late July. While Donald Trump brags we’ve tested more than any other nation, we’ve only tested 1.6% or our population. We’re reopening the nation in half the states while our testing is somewhere around 146,000 per day. A Harvard study says our current testing should be between 500,000 to 700,000.

It was a bad joke that anyone could seriously consider Donald Trump for president. That bad joke has become real. It should be another joke he’s even running for reelection yet he could very well win. But why would we want four more years of this insanity? Of this guy approaching a crisis demanding praise for what a great leader he is when he’s not leading?

It’s like Donald Trump and Jared Kushner are demanding Nobel Prizes (or in their cases, “Noble” Prizes) for curing cancer…when cancer hasn’t been cured.

I and many others have been saying for over three years that Donald Trump doesn’t care about you and neither does Jared Kushner. Hailing the death of over 64,000 Americans a “success story” is a testament to that.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Reopening-The-Country Task Force


cjones04172020

Dr. Anthony Fauci said we could reopen the country in May. Will Dr. Fauci still be working for the government at that time?

Yesterday, Dr. Fauci conceded that a quicker response to the coronavirus pandemic could have saved lives. This morning, Donald Trump retweeted a tweet with a hashtag to “fire Fauci.” Fauci has committed the crime of not just disagreeing with Trump but telling the truth. While firing Fauci will get Trump condemnation and criticism from normal people, his base and Fox News will pick up the mantle that Fauci was disloyal.

In this administration, loyalty to an orange ego is more important than saving lives. Trump’s tweet proves that serving his ego and narcissism is more important than saving lives.

On Friday, Donald Trump revealed he was creating a new task for to focus solely on reopening the country. Trump said it would consist of “very good” doctors, business people, and members of Congress, and governors. Thank God he’s not planning to appoint any bad doctors. No word on whether the business people and politicians will be good ones.

During a rambling press conference that lasted over two hours where the creation of the task force was the only new news, Trump said, “This is beyond economic. I call it the ‘opening our country task force’ or ‘opening our country council,’ so we don’t get it confused with the primary White House task force.” The guy can’t even settle on a name but he’s the deciding factor on when the nation reopens? We’re all going to die.

There’s a lot of concern Trump is impatient about restarting the economy. Go read a few posts from right-wingers and Trump cultists and you’ll see the direction is on opening the country now…with great anger that it was ever shut down to begin with. There is deep concern Donald Trump, who is an idiot, will push to reopen the nation too soon, which would be like pouring gasoline on a coronavirus fire.

Donald Trump is the first president in the modern era to lose 3 million jobs a week two weeks in a row. He’s watched the stock market fall. He was slow to react to a virus that may end up killing at least 60,000 Americans. But he wants your ass at Walmart and baseball games.

Trump said the task force will be bipartisan. What does he consider bipartisan? Will he appoint his stupid daughter, Ivanka to the board and say that’s bipartisan because she was a Democrat before being told she had to switch parties to vote for her dad in New York’s Republican primary (she and her two idiot brothers actually missed the deadline and weren’t able to vote for Daddy in the primary)?

Since Trump is creating the task force now, does that mean he’ll say it’s safe to open the nation tomorrow?

Donald Trump was warned about the virus in early January. While he claimed impeachment distracted him, it didn’t stop him from playing golf or holding MAGA rallies. After being warned multiple times, he finally declared a state of emergency on January 31, two days AFTER establishing the White House Coronavirus Task Force.

While that task force has Dr. Fauci, Dr. Deborah Birx, and Surgeon General Jerome Adams, it also has assorted nuts like Mike Pence (who chairs it), Ben Carson, Ken Cuccinelli, Larry Kudlow, and Steve Mnuchin. Behind the scenes, Trump’s idiot son-in-law is running a shadow coronavirus task force, which might also be the reopening-the-country task force. With this group, the only people who are sleeping well at night are Trump cultists who haven’t seen his latest polling numbers…or Joe Biden’s.

The one good piece of information is that Donald Trump does not have the authority, like he believes he does, to order governors to reopen their states. Sure, he has influence and Republican fucknut governors in the south will do whatever he says because unlike Dr. Fauci, they don’t work with facts.

The problem with Trump is that he’ll probably only appoint people to the new task force who will tell him what he wants to hear. He’s not looking at the numbers of cases and deaths. He’s looking at polling and economic numbers. He’s looking at being a failed one-term president…instead of a failed two-term president.

Keep in mind, this is a man who appointed his daughter and her husband as his advisers. He’s put his son-in-law in charge of Middle East peace and immigration. He appointed people to his cabinet like Ben Carson, Betsy DeVos, and Rick Perry. If he ever did own an NFL team, he’d draft Ryan Leaf.

We’re all going to die.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

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Hoozy-Whatsy Jared


CNN04052020

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

I posted another Jared cartoon on Monday, but I drew this one first. I created this Friday for CNN and it ran Sunday. I did make both versions of Jared the same except I gave him a propeller cap for the other one.

Sorry, I don’t really have anything new to blog on this because I already blogged about it yesterday. OK. I’ll give you something.

Jared sucks.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

People Who Should Stay Home


cjones04092020

We went over some of this last week, but let’s hit a few points again.

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis refused to issue a stay-at-home order. Hell, he even refused to shut down the state’s beaches. Now, there are reports of over spring breakers with covid-19 who spread out across the nation to inflict it upon others. Good job, Governor Dumbass.

Just one state up, Georgia’s idiot Governor, Brian Kemp, who claimed he just found out asymptomatic people could share the coronavirus, issued a stay-at-home order but has kept that state’s beaches open. Governor Kemp, you need EVERYONE to stay home. Pretend everyone’s black and it’s election day.

After finally issuing a stay-at-home order, Florida’s stupid governor declared that churches are “essential” businesses. Hey, if they’re businesses does that mean we can tax them now? Several other states are also allowing people to attend church services. So, just to be safe, until this pandemic is over I suggest that if you have to hang out with other people, make sure they’re atheists. For that matter, atheists without suntans.

Churchgoers, stay home. Beachgoers, stay home. Jared Kushner, stay the fuck at home.

Seriously, the guy who married Donald Trump’s daughter should have received a stay-at-home order back in January 2017. For that matter, Ivanka should have received one too. But as soon as Donald Trump stole the election, Ivanka and that twerpy little guy she’s breeding with declared they wanted to go to Washington and play government too. They never fail to miss an international trip so they can hobnob with foreign diplomats and make them go, “what the fuck?”.

Can you name one thing either of them has accomplished since coming to Washington three years ago? I’ll simplify it. Can you state one intelligent thing either of them has said?

Jared has been put in charge of peace in the Middle East. Guess how that’s going. He’s been put in charge of illegal brown people. For all we know, he’s also in charge of taping Trump’s hair to his head. But one thing is for sure, he’s involved with the coronavirus response. Why?

It’s been said that Jared has only been successful at three things in life: Being born rich, marrying rich, and convincing his stupid father-in-law to do stupid shit.

Here’s the thing, kids: What qualifications does Jared have in regards to anything to do with anything? His biggest qualification for working on Middle East peace is that he’s Jewish. In fact, Donald Trump cited that. What’s his qualification with immigration? Did he go slumming one night and visit a Taco Bell? Finally, what’s his qualification for handling the coronavirus or even responding to it? He’s not a doctor.

While speaking to the press about the pandemic, Jared complained that governors were asking for more than they needed and said, “The notion of the federal stockpile (of ventilators) is it’s supposed to be our stockpile, it’s not supposed to be states’ stockpile that they then use.”

Except, the federal stockpile IS supposed to be used for the states. The website for the Department of Health and Human Services said that…until the Trump administration changed it to reflect the shit that came out of Jared’s mouth.

But, Jared…who is “our?” Your wife’s father and oggler wins the presidency and that makes the property of the government your property? Who the fuck are you other than the guy boinking the prez’s daughter (assuming you’re that guy) to tell us what is and isn’t in Washington? Here’s a charming little factoid for you, Jared. The United States is comprised of…wait for it..FUCKING STATES!

Jared probably wasn’t even qualified to get into Harvard as his criminal-father made a $2.5 million donation before he was accepted. Jared bought a newspaper and now it doesn’t print on paper anymore. I wouldn’t take his advice on journalism. Jared inherited his family’s real estate empire and has run it into the ground, so don’t take any real estate advice from him.

And when it comes to a pandemic, don’t listen to Jared. It’s ridiculous Donald Trump throws him out there and expects people to accept it. Donald Trump doesn’t understand that having the name “Trump” doesn’t make you qualified for anything except maybe grifting. Neither does marrying a Trump.

Jared sought a back channel with Russia after Trump won the election? Why? He had to lie on his security clearance application MULITPLE times until Donald Trump just had to give up and give him a security clearance. He did successfully figure out how to download and use WhatsApp so he can talk to murderous Saudi dictators in secret.

There are way too many people in jobs in the Trump administration who aren’t qualified for their jobs, starting with Donald Trump. Did he think there was an idiot shortage in the White House so he had to bring in Ivanka and Mr. Ivanka?

Jared isn’t qualified to wear big-boy pants, less enough have anything to do with anything in the White House. At least Ivanka only plays government and doesn’t actually do anything.

It only takes one international crisis to prove Donald Trump never belonged in the White House. Even people who aren’t Trumps appear to get dumber after being associated with him. While all the Trumps are idiots, Jared actually chose to become one of them.

Jared is attempting to swim in the deep end without floaties on his arms. He’s out of his depth and needs to go back to the kiddie pool. The most ridiculous thing is how obnoxious Jared has to be to talk to the press as if he actually has any qualifications other than who he’s married to. Does he really believe journalists leave the room thinking, “We gotta believe what Jared said because he’s Jared”?

This pandemic is serious and we need serious people. Jared, you’re not qualified and you’re endangering lives. Go home. Stay home and take the blonde bimbo with you. While you’re at it, take Ivanka too.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Tripping On Nepotism


cjones02042020

Do you want to call Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner as witnesses in Donald Trump’s impeachment trial? Why would anyone suggest that when they don’t have anything to do with Donald Trump’s attempt to bribe the president of Ukraine? Exactly. So, why call Hunter Biden? Oh, because there’s nepotism?

Does anyone in the Trump administration know the definition of nepotism? We know they don’t know “hypocrisy” or “irony.” We also know they don’t have a sense of humor. For the Republican readers among us, according to one dictionary, the definition of “nepotism” is, “The practice among those with power or influence of favoring relatives or friends, especially by giving them jobs.”

In case you’re a Donald Trump supporter and it’s still not clicking, here’s another one for you. Surreal: a mix of fact and fantasy.

Joe Biden’s son, Hunter, was hired to serve on a board of a Ukraine gas company called Burisma which was the focus of Trump’s request for that nation’s president to announce an investigation. There is very little doubt that Hunter would not have gotten this position if his father wasn’t vice president at the time. Reportedly, he was paid around $50,000 a month. No one has actually uncovered any crime here though the appearance isn’t good.

Part of Trump’s defense against impeachment is that Joe and Hunter Biden practiced nepotism. Obviously, this is just one of many examples that Trump’s defense is terrible unless they’re trying to impeach Hunter Biden.

Pam Bondi, one of Trump’s defense lawyers, made the case against nepotism, which was as “surreal” as her argument against corruption. Bondi was the Florida Attorney General who dropped an investigation into Trump University after receiving a campaign donation from the Trump Foundation. Paying her off was corrupt, and on top of that, they stole the money from a charity. It was like a corruption sandwich with a huge sour pickle on the side. They like their corruption with a side of corruption.

Talk about being obtuse: The day Pam Bondi was making this argument, Donald Trump was presenting a photo-op disguised as a Middle East peace plan drafted by…wait for it…Jared Kushner. In case you’re slow (a Republican), Jared is Trump’s son-in-law.

What experience does Jared have as a diplomat? None. In fact, the guy couldn’t even get a security clearance because of his financial entanglements and lies on the application, so Ivanka’s daddy overruled the FBI in handing him one. It’s the same case with Ivanka.

Last year, Jared went to Congress, and in a private meeting, he laid out an immigration plan he drafted. Republicans who were there were astonished at how ignorant he was on his own plan. And, he had it written out right in front of him. I’m sure, even with notes, Donald Trump couldn’t tell you the basics of Jared’s Mideast peace plan, and neither could Jared. But that’s OK because he’s family. When you only have your job because you’re family, you don’t have to be good at it.

Usually, when you hire a family member who’s not qualified for the job, you find something for them to do they can’t bungle, like somewhere in the copy room. Hopefully, changing toner won’t be too complicated and they don’t injure themselves with a stapler. What you don’t do is assign them the tasks of solving peace in the Middle East and immigration.

Another thing you don’t do after hiring your daughter and son-in-law for positions they’re not qualified for while your other two kids are raking in millions from foreign deals is…complain about nepotism.

When it comes to nepotism, Hunter Biden is a slacker. If Hunter made $50,000 a month from Burisma, then he made around $3 million during his time on the board. Ivanka and Jared made $135 million last year while working in the White House. Nepotism Barbie’s shares from the Trump Hotel in Washington, where every foreign diplomat books a room even when they’re not staying there, amounted to $4 million.

But wait. The hypocrisy doesn’t just stop there. Trump’s goon, Rudy Giuliani, who went to Ukraine to dredge up conspiracy theories on the Bidens, also has a son, Andrew. Where does that offspring work? Oh, he works in…wait for it…THE FREAKING WHITE HOUSE! What does Rudy’s son do? His official title is “Special Assistant to the President and Associate Director of the Office of Public Liaison.” That means he talks to people in the sports community. For that position, he’s paid $95,000 a year. As far as I can tell, Andrew’s only experience is being kicked off Duke University’s golf team and being a sales intern. While John Kelly was Chief-of-Staff, he revoked Andrew’s clearance to even enter the West Wing, which Mick Mulvaney, the now acting-Chief-of-Staff, has restored.

This White House could have found someone more qualified than Andrew Giuliani based upon their experience playing Madden NFL.

Granted, while Andrew, Ivanka, and Jared don’t have any qualifications or experience for their positions in the White House, neither does Donald Trump. He is so unqualified that he thinks it’s OK to hire family who isn’t qualified. This is how the Trump Organization is run.  Donald Trump promised to operate the government like his corrupt business and he kept that promise. He even hired corrupt people to argue against corruption.

Donald Trump has complained about people who have assaulted women. He’s complained about leakers. He’s complained about lying. He’s complained about people being careless with classified information. He’s even made fun of other people’s hair and weight. So, why shouldn’t he go after corruption and nepotism while practicing corruption and nepotism?

Quite frankly, I’m waiting for Donald Trump to argue that his nepotism is OK because he keeps it in the family.

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Trust-Fund Royalty


cjones01112020

I had an excellent blog planned out in my head and I started on this cartoon at 5:30 a.m. Then, something struck in my stomach and I’ve been laid out nearly all day. I don’t know if it’s the cheeseburger I had last night or that I had two of them.

At any rate, no blog today. You got this. I gotta try to rest up before I start writing ideas for CNN. I hurt.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Brains Don’t Work On The Girl


cjones11072019

The Trump kids, much like their father, are seriously out of their element when it comes to politics and well…anything that requires comprehension, consistency, and honesty. Donald Trump’s full-grown trust-fund babies are at their best when they ignore what’s actually going on, like when Jr. and Eric tweeted denials that their father was booed at a UFC event in New York over the weekend. It’s like that episode of The Simpsons, when a crowd boos Mr. Burns. His lackey, Mr. Smithers, tells his boss they’re not saying “boo.” They’re saying “Boo-urns.”

Last week, Donald Trump Jr., with a straight face, went on Hannity and said, “I wish my name was Hunter Biden. I could go abroad, make millions off of my father’s presidency. I’d be a really rich guy! It would be incredible!” If Sean Hannity was an actual journalist, he would have reminded Donald Trump Jr. that his name is Donald Trump Jr. DJTJ was on Hannity to promote his new book, “Triggered,” which, ironically, nobody would be interested in publishing or reading if his name wasn’t Donald Trump Jr.

On October 15, Eric Trump made the claim, “When my father became commander-in-chief of this country, we got out of all international business.” There are literally buildings in other countries with the Trump name on them. In fact, every time the Trump kids go on an overseas business deal, which they still do, taxpayers have to pay a bill for their protection.

Jared, who is in charge of Trump’s impeachment defense (good luck) and argues his father-in-law hasn’t “done anything wrong,” responded to Joe Biden’s criticism of him and Ivanka having jobs in the White House. Jared said, “He’s entitled to his opinion, but a lot of the work that the President’s had me doing over the last three years has actually been cleaning up the messes that Vice President Biden left behind.” It’s funny because Jared has no idea what he’s doing and someday in the future, someone’s going to be cleaning up the messes he left behind.

Then there’s Daddy’s princess, Ivanka. She decided to defend her father from the impeachment inquiry by comparing him to Jefferson…No, not George but Thomas. She took an eloquent quote from the third president and tweeted, “‘…surrounded by enemies and spies catching and perverting every word that falls from my lips or flows from my pen, and inventing where facts fail them.’ -Thomas Jefferson’s reflections on Washington, D.C. in a letter to his daughter Martha.
Some things never change, dad!”

There are several takes you can get from them. Jefferson is on the nickel and the closest honor Trump has to that is a baby balloon of him floating around the United Kingdom. Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence and Trump tweets out photoshopped pics of him placing medals on dogs. The best take from this is that Jefferson was responding to accusations he fathered a child with a slave…which he was guilty of at least six times. I don’t think the area of who Trump has slept with, or wants to sleep with, is one Ivanka should wade into. Ivanka should try to find a quote from someone defending themselves from fraudulent charges, like OJ.

Here’s the thing, pretend princess, when you Google a quote, don’t stop reading before you find the context. Perhaps, if you spent more time comprehending what you’re supposed to be doing as a “senior adviser” to the president instead of your public-image campaign of presenting yourself as the rational Trump with humility, you may accidentally stumble upon a clue.

These are just more examples of rich white people crying about how they’re constantly persecuted and life is so hard and unfair for them. If only the world would stop being mean to trust-fund babies.

But if you’re seeking a Jefferson quote, Sweatshop Barbie, I got one for you. Thomas Jefferson wrote, “Towards acquiring the confidence of the people the very first measure is to satisfy them of his disinterestedness, & that he is directing their affairs with a single eye to their good, & not to build up fortunes for himself & family: & especially that the officers appointed to transact their business, are appointed because they are the fittest men, not because they are his relations. So prone are they to suspicion that where a President appoints a relation of his own, however worthy, they will believe that favor, & not merit, was the motive.”

I know it’s kinda long so I’ll directly give you the point. Nepotism is bad. Still don’t understand it? You and your idiot husband only have positions in the White House because the president is your father. If you honestly believe you’re there because of your qualifications, then you are dumber than I could ever make you out to be.

But, since you’re seeking a Jefferson quote that fits your situation, I’ll provide another for you: “If I paid you to think, you could cash your check at the penny arcade.” That’s from George.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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The First Crime Family Condemns Crime Families


cjones10102019

Donald Trump Jr truly lives up to his namesake. Always eager to help his father lie and smear political enemies, he went after Hunter Biden last Wednesday. Trumpy Jr said that Hunter serving on a board of a Ukranian energy company while his father was vice president created the “appearance of impropriety” and represented a “clear conflict of interest.” Then, he gave a speech condemning pomade-abusing, trust-fund baby douchebags.

The Trump family believes they’re American royalty. What they are is royal hypocrites. I believe Washington political pundits have forgotten how to stare in stunned disbelief.

Melania Trump’s anti-cyberbullying campaign, “Be Best,” is best at being silent about her husband’s cyberbullying campaign, “Be Worst.” Still, it’s not as bad as Ivanka’s “Be Oblivious” campaign when it comes to her father and sexism. Ivanka is spearheading a women’s initiative in the White House, but it’s not in her initiative to comment when her dad said Megyn Kelly had “blood coming out of her whatever,” or when her dad called Rosie O’Donnell “fat little Rosie,” or when he endorsed an accused pedophile, or on the multiple on top of multiple sexual harassment and rape allegations against her dad, or whenever he attacks women of color, or when he calls Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas,” or when he says “send them back,” or when he brags about grabbing women “by the pussy,” or, etc., etc.

So now Trump Jr says Hunter’s business dealings don’t look proper and are a conflict of interest. So how proper does it look when foreign diplomats book rooms at Trump hotels? How proper is it for Trump to make the U.S. government spend money at his golf resorts for 293 days, and counting, of his presidency? Does it not appear to be a conflict when he promotes his businesses from the platform of the presidency? There’s not a conflict in trying to host the next G7 Summit at Trump Doral? I suppose the United States government being the landlord to Trump’s Washington Hotel isn’t a conflict either. Don’t expect the attorney general to look into that as he just booked a $30,000 party at the hotel because none of the other hotels in D.C. met his requirements, such as having the name Trump on them.

Before Trump became president, he cut deals in some of the most corrupt places on the planet. Before she spearheaded that women’s initiative, Ivanka led a hotel development in Azerbaijan, ranked 152 out of 180 on Transparency International’s index of the world’s most corrupt countries, which is a nicer way of describing the nation than as a “shithole.” The partner in that project was the son of the nation’s transportation minister who’s linked to the Iranian Revolutionary Guard. In case you’re a Republican, they’re the bad guys.

The Trumps worked with the son of a former dictator on a proposed hotel project in Brazil. That one only collapsed after Trump was elected and prosecutors went after the partner for a scheme where he diverted pension funds into…wait for it…real estate developments. I know. You’re shocked to discover there’s gambling in this establishment.

How much foreign money came into Trump’s inauguration committee? The U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York is trying to find out. How much do the Trumps owe Deutsche Bank? How much of that is backed by Russians?

In Indonesia, the Trumps are building two resorts with a man who bought one of their L.A. mansions last summer. While Donald Trump is yelling for China to investigate Joe and Hunter Biden, their Indonesian project is partly funded by…you’re totally going to be shocked with this one…China.

China doesn’t have a reputation for respecting American brands’ claims on intellectual property rights. Yet they’ve granted daddy’s sweet little princess, Ivanka, 34 trademarks since daddy took office. Three of those were approved the day she and her father dined with China’s president at…try not to be shocked with this one…Mar-a-Lago. I wonder how much China spent on their stay at that resort.

The sister of Jared Kushner, Ivanka’s husband, promoted her family’s connections to Trump while marketing investment programs in Kushner-owned companies. After two years of trying to get new partners or financing for a New York City property at 666 (seriously) 5th Avenue, that a previous partner said “would be worth a lot more if it was just dirt,” a Canadian company with investment from Qatar (if you’re a Republican, Qatar is a country, not something you do to a chick that dares criticize Dear Leader) bailed the Kushners out by purchasing a 99-year lease on the building. Jared, who’s buds with Saudi Arabia’s crown prince, backed a Saudi-led blockade of Qatar. Some felt the Persian Gulf nation was attempting to influence Kushner to influence Trump. By the way, one of the Saudi demands of Qatar was that the nation close Al-Jazeera, a news outlet broadcasting throughout the Middle East that reports stuff they don’t want people to know.

You would think Don Jr would take a cue from Ivanka and Melania. They remain silent about Trump’s bullying and sexism, contradicting positions they pretend to be passionate over. Maybe Dumbass Jr should shut up about Hunter Biden.

I agree there is an appearance of a conflict when a vice president’s son serves on a foreign board. Even then, no law is being violated. But, if Hunter’s involvement is worthy of an “investigation,” then so are the Trumps foreign wheelings and dealings. I want to hear a reporter ask Donald Trump if China should investigate his kids’ business dealings. I want to hear the deflection he comes up with for that.

If Donald Trump really cares about fighting corruption, then maybe he should start in his own house, if he hasn’t sold it to an Arab prince yet.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Douchebag’s Wearhouse


douche

I’ve given myself a few rules to follow when creating political cartoons. One of those rules is, don’t draw a cartoon merely to state that Trump sucks. We already know Trump sucks. So, when drawing Trump, I try to make it not just about him, but a specific issue. Of course, I also reserve the right to break my own rules. In this case, I’m saying, Donald Trump, Donald Trump Jr, Eric Trump, and Jared Kushner are all entitled trust-fund baby douchebags. They all suck.

I got this idea while replying to a reader’s comment today on where this group of troglodytes shop for their tuxes. While meeting the Queen of England, Donald Trump was wearing a tuxedo that was apparently bought for Barron Trump when he was five. I knew Trump couldn’t find a suit that fits, despite having his own line of suits, but damn…you’d think the guy could find a tailor for a tux.

Then, I saw the picture of Trump with the three guys in the cartoon and just thought, ew. What a bunch of entitled douchey doos.

Entitled? Yes. A story came out this week about Don Jr. and Eric not paying their tab from a pub…after offering to buy the entire bar a round of drinks. Conservative media went after the press for running with this story pointing out that the tab had been paid and the pub itself was trying to debunk the story. Of course, the tab was paid three days later…by Donald Trump’s golf club.

The Trump boys went bar hopping in Douchebag, I mean Doonbeg, Ireland and later claimed they didn’t have cash on them. OK. So who goes bar hopping without any means to pay? Douchebags. Then, they don’t even pay the tab themselves.

The Trumps have a history of not paying their tab. They stiff contractors, lenders, apparently bars, and even an entire city. The Trump campaign still owes El Paso over $500,000 for a rally.

Douchebags.

Creative note: I did this cartoon for fun. I haven’t decided yet if I’ll send it to my clients. But, since I like living dangerously and getting into trouble, I probably will.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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