Jared Kushner

AMIRITE About Moochers?


cjones10172018

If Donald Trump has done one thing for Republicans, he’s proven them to be total frauds and that everything they’ve spent the last four decades telling us they stood for, well, they were faking it. As it turns out, Trump has proven that to be a Republican is to be a vile, despicable, hateful person without any ethics or principles.

We already knew they’re not really about cutting spending and lowering deficits. The last Republican president to cut spending was Eisenhower. The only time they talk about the deficit and scream, “Think about the children’s future,” is when a Democrat has the White House. We found out they’re not about law and order, as they defend policemen, they attack the FBI. We discovered they’re not even patriots as Republicans in Congress are scrambling to prevent us from discovering the truth about Trump and Russia and bemoaning that the FBI obtained warrants to track an alleged Russian spy. Just last week, they were crying that Brett Kavanaugh is innocent until proven guilty right before going into “lock her up” chants.

Remember that business about Benghazi? How many years were spent on how many investigations over four American deaths? It’s been a year since Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico killing 3,000 Americans and there hasn’t been one inquiry from Congress. Puerto Rico truly doesn’t have any representation in Congress.

How about the Clinton Foundation? Republicans spent a few years telling us it’s corrupt (without any facts), that it enriched the Clintons, and how wrong it was for it to accept foreign donations while Hillary was Secretary of State. Now, they ignore the fact that the Trump Foundation was a conduit for sleazy political activity and Donald Trump LITERALLY stole from charity.

They don’t care about emoluments. The same people screaming about foreign donations to Clinton’s charity are silent about Trump making profits from foreign governments. Trump says we need to be nice to Saudi Arabia after they’ve killed a permanent U.S. resident and journalist because the monarchy spends millions on U.S. arms deals. What we really need to ask Trump if it’s those millions, or the millions the Saudis have put into his and Jared Kushner’s pockets? Saudi Arabia has spent millions on buying apartments from Trump, now they and other governments spend hundreds of thousands at Trump Hotels.

We might also want to ask why revenue at Trump golf resorts have increased substantially for the ones Trump has visited as president, but revenue is down at the ones he hasn’t.

Hell, we even found out Republicans aren’t really Christians or care about family values at all. They voted for a guy who brags about grabbing pussy and has five kids from three different women. And, what sort of Christian supports throwing babies in jail? The whole concept of Christianity is great, but Christians themselves, yeah, they suck.

They also really don’t care about welfare. They pretend to worry about the system and people taking advantage of it. Their efforts to drug test recipients have been a greater expense for a bunch of nothing. The thing is, if you’ve ever criticized social welfare but have kept quiet on corporate welfare, then you, my friend, are a flaming, hypocritical racist.

Social welfare is about three percent of the federal budget, worth about $59 billion. Well guess what. Corporate welfare is five percent, worth about $92 billion. While social welfare is meant to help people who are struggling, corporate welfare is about rich assholes giving millions to other rich assholes. Do you really believe Warren Buffett needs an extra $1 million each year as a gift? That’s a lot of government cheese.

You also don’t hear conservatives upset over Trump defrauding the government of $500 million. You don’t want people ripping off the government unless they’re old rich white guys. This story has been out for a week yet Republicans have been mostly silent on it. For a bunch of people telling us about Clinton corruption, they’re mum on actual corruption when it’s from Donald Trump and his family.

It makes perfect sense that Republicans are frauds and liars. The man they’ve abandoned everything for is also a fraud and a liar. Everything they believe about Trump is a lie. Everything they accuse others of always describes Donald Trump. They’ve bought into an ugly, hateful, racist image. They’ve proven the point of being a Republican is to be a shitweasel.

When you say you actually believe in something, you should also practice it. Sure, it’s easier to talk the talk than it is to walk it, but the people who lead us into the future should be the ones who walk it. The fate of the country should be in the hands of and decided by people with principles and ethics, not the lying assholes.

Amirite?

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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Stepping Out In Jerusalem


cjones05192018

So, what’s the most fashionable brand of designer boots to wear at a bloodshed of your father’s creation?

I’m sorry. That’s not entirely fair. Ivanka was not at a bloodshed of her father’s creation. She was at a party sixty miles away celebrating the cause of it.

Why was our representation at the opening ceremony for the U.S. embassy in Jerusalem Ivanka and Jared? Kim Jong Un sent his sister to the opening ceremony of the Olympics because North Korea is a tyrannical regime run by a family. Is that what we’re becoming? If there’s something significant, the president sends his children as if we’re some banana republic run by a tin-pot dictator. It’s bad enough Steve Mnuchin and an anti-Semitic pastor was there.

While the trust fund babies were celebrating the opening, Gaza was burning. Over 50 Palestinians were killed protesting the relocation of the embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. Ivanka, Jared, and Mnuchin were indifferent and obtuse to the violence and deaths because of this action. Everybody, smile, wave, and look pretty…except Mnuchin.

The White House blamed the deaths on Hamas, thus endorsing the shooting of protesters as many were taken out by snipers. Israel has an apartheid policy toward Gaza and most experts believe the area will be unlivable in the coming years if it’s not already.

Moving the embassy has taken the United States out of the peace talks in the Middle East. The rest of the world refuses to recognize Jerusalem as Israel’s capital and consider it occupied territory. Moving the embassy has taken us from an honest broker to one who has taken sides.

Trump sycophants are clamoring for him to receive a Nobel Peace Prize for scheduling a meeting with North Korea, yet his decision to move our embassy to Jerusalem has actually cost lives. Donald Trump finally has blood on his hands, proving he’s not just a danger to the United States but to the rest of the world. Trump has not brought peace to the world. He’s only brought more violence. Trump’s policies kill people.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is not a man who wants peace. He campaigned for this move, uncaring about the coming violence knowing it would probably only kill Palestinians. He’s eager for a war between the U.S. and Iran and has done all he can to make it happen. The man is fear mongering and lying about Iran’s ability to create a nuclear weapon while Israel is a nuclear state that has never allowed international inspections.

Jared, who can’t get a security clearance, is in charge of bringing peace to the Middle East. His presence, along with Ivanka’s, is just a display that nepotism reigns in the United States government, not experience or qualifications.

Trump took us out of the Iran Nuclear Treaty, brought death to Gaza, and will not take that Midas touch to negotiations with North Korea. I only have one question.

What will Ivanka wear to a nuclear Armageddon?

Here’s the video.

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Not So Kushy


cjones03032018

I’m a little distressed because now there will never be peace in the Middle East since Jared Kushner is off the case.

Chief of Staff John Kelly placed a last-Friday deadline for White House staffers to acquire permanent security clearances. Jared missed the deadline, and he probably will not ever get a real security clearance unless Trump just gifts him one.

If Trump goes over Kelly’s head and grants a waiver to Kushy, that will totally undermine the General’s authority. It will also send a very clear message to the rest of the staff that Jared and Ivanka are privileged, which we already know they are. But, I don’t think Trump’s going to do that. I believe he left it to Kelly to kinda force Jared out of the White House. Trump really doesn’t like to fire people, especially a guy married to his daughter. He probably wants him to quit on his own, like Hope Hicks.

Hicks, the White House Communications Director, came into the job with the great experience of being a former model and a representative of Ivanka’s line of clothing. I suppose being a spokesperson for the spring line of handbags is the same as directing communications for the executive branch of the United States government.

Hicks quit the day after she testified before Congress, where she refused to answer any questions regarding her time in the White House and said that she has told “little white lies” for the president. There’s another word for “little white lies,” and that word is “lies.” Hicks claims there’s no relation between her testimony and resignation. I’m sure the likelihood of going to prison isn’t a factor either.

Jared will never receive a security clearance because his initial application was chock-full of little white lies, as was his second, and third, etc.

Another reason he won’t receive a clearance is that he is compromised by his business relationships. Jared has not divested himself of his business, and he has a history of receiving sketchy loans from foreign companies and governments, like Russia. Who does he think he is, the president?

Now it has come to light that Jared has received at least two loans from people he had meetings within the White House.

Apollo Global Management met with Jared several times in the White House. Later, the company lent Jared’s company $184 million to refinance the mortgage on a Chicago skyscraper. The loan is triple the size of the average loan the company makes.

Jared also entertained the chief executive of Citigroup, who later loaned his company $325 million to help finance a group of office buildings in Brooklyn.

Investigative reporters had to uncover these meetings as the Trump White House does not publish records of visits like the Obama administration did.

Jared also has business dealings with Israel, which is very convenient for that government since Jared was in charge of our Mideast policy. Jared has also sought investments from China and Qatar.

In fact, another reason he will never get a security clearance is that at least four countries had discussed how to use Kushner’s inexperience, financial troubles, and sketchy business dealings to manipulate him. Some foreign diplomats have requested to deal with Kushner and complained when they got someone else. It’s like getting upset at a blackjack table when they switch dealers after you’ve been on a roll. Hey, bring back the dumb guy.

Jared also met with Russian bankers during the transition period, and his sister has used his name while seeking investments in China.

It’s been said by prognosticators that the demotion in security is a humiliating blow to Jared. But how humiliating can it really be when you already work for Trump? It’s not like the guy ever had credibility. If you want to see humiliation, go talk to Jeff Sessions.

I don’t know which will bother Kushy more, the humiliation, the thought of going to prison or having his thumbs broken by Qatari henchmen.

I vaguely recall that during the 2016 campaign, Donald Trump and Republicans were telling us we can’t trust Hillary Clinton because her charity took money from foreign governments. They also cited the U.S. government’s approval of the sale of uranium to a Russian company, which they wrongly claim Hillary personally approved. There are still conspiracy theories over the uranium deal.

So, when can we expect Republicans to start complaining about Jared’s pay-for-play? Any minute now? I’m not going to hold my breath. The good news is, Robert Mueller is now questioning the pay-for-play.

There are still questions about Ivanka’s security clearance. What’s the status on that? Hopefully, at today’s press briefing, Sarah Huckabee Sanders can enlighten us.

Jared is unable to do his job without a security clearance. CNN noted that the White House calligrapher has a higher security clearance than Jared. Jared is not qualified to take notes in the White House.

Jared not being able to do his job is not a new development. The man was never qualified to be in the White House, and he and Ivanka should never have been hired. There are reasons we have nepotism laws….that the Trump administration and Congress ignore.  Robert Mueller’s not ignoring them, and he is now asking questions about Jared’s business dealings.

The only reason Jared wanted to work in the White House was to help his company. He’s in financial straits and the White House was a great way to seek investments. He’s running out of options. Does anyone actually believe these goons wanted to work in government to serve others?

My not-so-bold prediction is that Jared and Ivanka are going to quit. They’ll cite other reasons, but they’re quitting…if they’re not thrown in prison first.

Come back later for the video.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

A Blart On The Background


cjones02152018

During the presidential campaign, and repeated as a deflection from Trump corruption ever since, Republicans argued that Hillary Clinton wasn’t fit to be president because she potentially exposed classified information on her email server. This week, the what-about-her-emails crowd has more complaints about the Obama portraits than the lackadaisical attitude Donald Trump has toward classified information.

We knew for a while that Jared Kushner, Trump’s son-in-law and unqualified to do any job in the White House, has yet to be cleared for a security clearance. What was revealed from the Rob Porter scandal, other than Trump and John Kelly don’t take domestic violence seriously, is that there are many people working in the White House without a “permanent” security clearance.

First, there isn’t an actual permanent clearance. Every individual is subject to continuous evaluation and some clearances expire depending on the level. The FBI conducts the background checks. For secret and top-secret clearances, the White House has its own Office of Security that makes the decision on who gets clearance. For access to what is called Sensitive Compartmented Information (SCI), which is the highest level of classified information, that is done by one or more of the intelligence agencies, and usually, it’s the CIA with the White House. The White House Office of Security is run by career staff and not by political appointees. Jared has access to the highest level of classified info.

Sometimes, a clearance isn’t given because the FBI is having trouble finding information, and they believe there are holes, or they’re finding a lot of sketchy and questionable stuff, like wife-beating or in Jared’s case, lying on his forms.

How does a White House staffer keep his job with access to classified information without a clean report from the FBI? The Office of Security may grant temporary clearance, as they’re probably doing in the over 40 cases in the White House right now, or the president can use his Constitutional authority to order them to grant clearance (and we don’t know if that’s happened), or the White House may just ignore it altogether. That’s what’s happening in this case, and after it’s exposed, they lie and blame the FBI.

Tuesday, FBI director Christopher Wray told Congress that the FBI completed Rob Porter’s background investigation last July and closed it in January. As we know, Porter continued to work in the White House. Sarah Huckabee Sanders had claimed that they first learned of the accusations against Porter last week and that White House Counsel Don McGahn and Chief of Staff John Kelly were not informed previously. She also said that “the White House had not received any specific papers regarding the completion of that background check” by the time of Porter’s resignation. She said the White House Security Office felt the FBI’s report required more field investigation, though the FBI had closed its background check on Porter. Sanders was caught lying. I’m not sure she’s aware of that yet.

Trump promised us he’d hire the best people. He hasn’t even hired a Spokesgoon smart enough to know that you don’t lie about the FBI the day the FBI Director is testifying in front of Congress.

Trump also defended Porter and said he, and every man accused of beating a woman, deserves “due process.” I think a year-long background investigation by the FBI, who then reports that the guy is a wife beater, can be considered due process.

Trump campaigned arguing that we couldn’t trust our nation’s secrets with Hillary Clinton. After he won the election, the Obama administration was concerned about how much to tell Trump and his transition team because our intelligence sources knew there were Russian moles in the Trump campaign.

Obama warned Trump not to hire Michael Flynn. Trump hired Michael Flynn. Obama’s National Security Adviser, Susan Rice, had to find a way to work around providing information to her successor while knowing he was corrupted by the Russians.

After he became president, Trump invited the Russian ambassador, foreign minister, and their camera team into the Oval Office because Putin told him to. During that visit, Trump revealed classified information to them that was provided by an ally.

Then, Trump released the Nunes FISA memo over the objections of the Justice Department and the FBI.

Finally, Trump has unverified people working with classified information in the White House. Some of these people are susceptible to blackmail.

Congress needs a hearing to find out why so many people are working in the White House without clearances, who they are, and what level of classified information they have been granted access to. The Bush and Obama administrations didn’t suffer from these scandals, but then again, they didn’t staff their administrations with a bunch of wife-beaters and loan sharks.

The problem starts at the top. Donald Trump doesn’t hire the best people. In fact, he hires the worst people. The fact is we elected a guy who couldn’t pass the FBI background check.

The real problem is we elected the worst person.

Today’s video.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

Lock He Up


cjones10012017

Donald Trump believes rules do not apply to him. It’s not a belief he acquired after becoming president. He’s had this affliction for his entire life.

He doesn’t believe debt applies to him. He doesn’t believe he must be accountable to the truth to have credibility. He will accuse others of disrespecting veterans when he’s the one who has criticized POWs and Gold Star families. He’ll lecture us about patriotism while ignoring Russia’s multiple attacks on our nation.

During the campaign, he accused the Clinton’s of getting rich off their charity, while his own charity is his personal piggy bank for him to dip into to pay off lawsuits, politicians, and to purchase sports memorabilia (Tim Tebow the Kneeler, no less) and portraits of himself.

He engages in racist behavior and acts confused when people accuse him of racism. He goes off on golfing trips nearly every weekend, though he accused Obama of playing too much golf. He bemoaned Obama’s executive orders while touting his own as legislative accomplishments.

He won’t release his taxes but believes we should trust that he’s not in debt to Russia or that his new tax plan won’t benefit him and his family. He ignores the emoluments clause, profiting off the presidency by pimping his merchandise while visiting disaster areas, renting hotel rooms to foreign dignitaries, and charging the Secret Service rent to protect him and his Frodos. He practices nepotism by placing his daughter and son-in-law on his staff, despite the fact they don’t have any experience for the jobs he’s given them.

He engages in bullying over the internet while his wife is supposedly engaged in an anti-bullying campaign.

He encouraged his crowds of stupid people to chant “lock her up” over Hillary Clinton’s use of a private server while she was Secretary of State. He promised he was going to drain the swamp. These last two will be our focus today.

You’re not draining the swamp when members of your cabinet are renting private jets at the expense of taxpayers. When the boss doesn’t believe he has to be accountable, then why should his staff think they have to play by the rules?

And, now it has come out that Jared Kushner, the son-in-law, has been using a private email account. Jared is not the only one. Former Chief of Staff Reince Priebus, former chief strategist Steve Bannon, Chief Economic Adviser Gary D. Cohn, and senior adviser Stephen Miller all used private emails while working in the White House. There’s one more. Ivanka used a private email, complicitprincess@yahoo.com.

Did none of these people pay attention during the campaign? The “lock her up” bit was kind of a big part of the strategy. It didn’t just come up occasionally. Jared was working on the campaign. Between secret meetings with Russians, you would think he would have heard it once or twice. But, hey. Dad said no golf and he’s playing golf. So, what’s a little hypocrisy for the rest of the staff? Next thing you know they’ll all start wearing pantsuits.

Jared has also had a difficult time with his security clearance, as he’s had to amend it several times. He keeps forgetting about those meetings with Russians. When news came out this week that Jared was registered to vote in New York as a woman many people thought, “that makes sense.” The guy has trouble filling out paperwork. Perhaps the boxes with the “M” and the “F” confused him. As it turns out, it wasn’t Jared’s fault.

Jared was registered as a woman, but it was the election board’s error. Apparently, they took one look at him and put him in the system as a female. It was probably his high voice and his hands being soft from never having to work a day of manual labor in his life. Michael Cera, the actor, may want to check his registration since he’s a doppelganger for Kushner. They both have that squeaky voice that makes you want to throw bricks at them.

The goof over Jared’s registration is almost the problem with Ivanka and Don Jr’s registration. They were unable to vote in the Republican primary as they were registered as Democrats.

Jared will continue to be made fun of for being registered as a woman. But rest assured, he’s definitely a male. The Russian ambassador can vouch for him.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Generals And Handbags


cjones08082017

Occasionally I’ll make a sarcastic post on social media, and last week I wrote, “Ivanka Trump is excited to work “alongside” Kelly. I’m sure the GENERAL is excited to be working alongside a mediocre fashion designer.”

I also posted, “If anyone looked at me the way Mike Pence looks at Donald Trump, I’d get a restraining order.” Seriously, the guy has an expression of warm satisfaction as though he just made a boom-boom. But that’s an issue for another day.

My comment about Ivanka got a lot of responses, and it gave me this idea. I usually don’t make a post on social media that I’ll use later for a cartoon, but I thought of the cartoon after I mouthed off.

Maybe we are making too much out of Ivanka’s tweet about working “alongside” the general, but it illustrates just how absurd and ridiculous this administration conducts itself. The people Donald Trump has placed in his administration are ludicrous. The rapper Ludacris couldn’t create a more ludicrous staff than Trump.

During the campaign, I heard people say they would vote for Trump because they were pro-military. Trump often states how much he respects the military. Trump doesn’t respect anything, and his actions prove he doesn’t respect the office he holds. The man insulted a former P.O.W. and Gold Star parents. Placing his inexperienced daughter “alongside” a general is further disrespect. A highly-decorated and accomplished general supposedly shares the same status and access to the president as a fashion designer, or in Ivanka’s case, someone who pilfers designs from other designers and then has the products made by eight-year-old children in China.

President John F. Kennedy practiced nepotism when he made his brother the Attorney General, but at least in that case, you could believe Robert Kennedy could actually do the job. Other than Trump sycophants, who believes Ivanka Trump can shape or even understand policy? We can’t expect her influence to be positive as her silence after Trump’s sexist attack on Mika Brzezinski makes her complicit.

Her husband and Trump’s son-in-law is further nepotism you can’t have any faith in. The “kid” has a larger staff than the Secretary of State. Trump has placed him in charge of finding peace in the Middle East (because he’s Jewish), advising the president, reinventing government (The Office of American Innovation), being a “shadow” diplomat, solving the opioid epidemic, handling diplomacy with Mexico and China, “reimagining” Veteran Affairs, reforming the criminal justice system, and laying out the president’s clothes in the morning.

Our confidence that 36-year-old Jared can accomplish any of the above duties is undermined by his defense of meeting Russians which was, “I’m a novice to politics and I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.” How can the guy be expected to do any of those duties when he’s too busy rewriting his security clearance on a daily basis?

Even Don Jr. is in on the nepotism action, even though he’s supposed to be running the Trump Corporation and separated from what’s going on in the White House.

Everyone’s excited about General John Kelly taking over as Chief of Staff. He’s cleaning house a little by getting rid of Anthony Scaramucci and a few other people that the adults didn’t want on the National Security Council. According to reports, all briefs and information has to go through him before it reaches Trump (maybe no more breaking Breitbart news), he’s shutting the door to the Oval Office so “stragglers” won’t enter to put stupid ideas into the president’s head (though he’s capable of doing that on his own), he’s cutting off people in mid-sentence when they’re rambling, and more importantly, everyone has to go through him before meeting with the president, even Ivanka and Jared. I don’t buy that last one. Where will the General be at 8:37 PM when little princess goes up to see daddy? Can the General get Trump to stop watching Fox And Friends?

Kelly has brought structure and discipline to the Oval Office. Trump has never practiced structure, discipline, or sense in his professional or private life. He’s going to hate it and Kelly won’t last beyond six months. Besides, how much structure is he really bringing with the ilk of Steve Bannon, Stephen Miller, and Kellyanne Conway still hanging about?

You can’t shine a turd. Kelly would have more success in getting “presidential” out of a nutless monkey than he will from Donald Trump.

Creative notes: I was supposedly taking yesterday off, but I drew a cartoon in the morning. This cartoon is kind of a bonus cartoon, because I’m drawing another tonight. While I wanted to do this, I think there are a few more pressing issues I want to cover. I haven’t decided which one yet (so much fuckery).  I’m hoping between now and drawing tonight that I eat something and take a nap.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Repeal, Replace, Reboot, Reweb


cjones07162017

What if Jared Kushner is Spiderman? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? No? Well, we can all at least agree that it’s not Mitch McConnell and Donald Trump is not Batman. If anything, all three of these guys would be super villains….if super villains were really, really stupid and crashed into a lot of shit.

The Republicans keep rewriting their health-care plan, and each time it gets worse. It’s like those Incredible Hulk solo films (comic book theme today. Yes, we’re doing this). Even Edward Norton, acting in and writing the film, didn’t help much (Mark Ruffalo kicks ass though). Now they’ve let Ted Cruz (bwahahaha) sink his fangs into it. That would be like trying to improve that Lone Ranger movie by having Kevin Smith rewrite it (The Clerks guy has made a couple of movies you can laugh at, but he really hasn’t ever made a good movie. Ever. Discuss).

The new plan already has GOP defectors, moderates like Maine’s Susan Collins (hero) and scary conservatives like Kentucky’s Rand Paul (villain). The new plan still has massive cuts to Medicare in addition to allowing insurance companies to deny coverage for preexisting conditions. Who in the Hell thinks that improves coverage? Oh yeah. Ted Cruz. Who let Cruz, Shitweaselman, get involved? Mitch McConnell, Turtleman!!!!

Deceit not only comes in ugly packages like Ted Cruz. It can come in a pretty wrapper, like Jared Kushner.

Kushner, Donald Trump’s son-in-law has a security clearance as senior advisor to the president. Having a security clearance is serious business as it allows you access to classified intelligence (Stuff like, Ted Cruz is an alien reptilian). Lying on the application can send a person to prison. Jared has had to amend his at least twice. He forgot to mention he met with the Russian ambassador and the chairman of a Russian government-owned bank. Apparently, during his chats with the Russian ambassador, Kushner asked for a “secret and secure communications channel” with the Kremlin using Russian diplomatic facilities, in an attempt for the transition team to communicate with Russia without the U.S. government’s knowledge.

He has had to amend his application a second time after someone leaked that he, Trump campaign manager (at the time) Paul Manafort, and his idiot brother-in-law, Donald Trump Jr., met with a Russian lawyer who was promising dirt on Hillary Clinton.

Some people are speculating that it was Jared who leaked the meeting with the lawyer so that maybe it would be old news by the time he testifies before the United States Senate. Other say that’s crazy as it puts him in legal hot water. Plus, why would he sell out his wife’s brother? But then we remember, he’s the son of a man, Charles Kushner, who hired a prostitute to seduce his brother-in-law, recorded the entire ordeal, and then sent the tapes to his brother-in-law’s wife, Charles Kushner’s sister. That’s some shady shit right there. That’s the sort of devious stuff that will land a guy in prison, which is where Charles went.

How many more times will Jared be rebooting his clearance application? And why is Ted Cruz so icky?

The GOP health-care plan and Kushy’s clearance has had as many reboots as Spiderman. I liked Tobey Maguire’s Spiderman. That third movie went a little off the rails, but it was still a good trilogy. Then they rebooted it which seemed pointless. Now they’re rebooting it again, but this time Spidey is still in high school (Spider-man: Homecoming) and getting all tangled up in the MCU, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which has him swinging around with the Avengers.

I will be checking out the new Spiderman though I’m not sure how I feel about it. Everyone says it’s great but the entire Avengers thing is starting to look like a club that’s not very exclusive. They’ll let anyone join. Plus, Marisa Tomei is Aunt May? Aunt May is supposed to be old and frail, not the wise-cracking Italian hairdressing mechanic from My Cousin Vinny, or the stripper from The Wrestler. If nothing else, I’ll enjoy watching Robert Downey Jr. play Tony Stark again.

I have an idea. Can we reboot the presidency?

Creative notes: I started with another idea and the bulk of it was drawn. I had this idea and was just going to tweet it out as a smart-ass comment, but then I thought it would change things up a bit and make a decent cartoon. I still like the first cartoon I was working on and may finish it this weekend.

I occasionally tweet out smart-ass comments on Twitter that amuse me, but not enough to create a cartoon out of. You should definitely follow me there if you don’t have enough sarcasm in your life.

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