Jared Kushner

Generals And Handbags


cjones08082017

Occasionally I’ll make a sarcastic post on social media, and last week I wrote, “Ivanka Trump is excited to work “alongside” Kelly. I’m sure the GENERAL is excited to be working alongside a mediocre fashion designer.”

I also posted, “If anyone looked at me the way Mike Pence looks at Donald Trump, I’d get a restraining order.” Seriously, the guy has an expression of warm satisfaction as though he just made a boom-boom. But that’s an issue for another day.

My comment about Ivanka got a lot of responses, and it gave me this idea. I usually don’t make a post on social media that I’ll use later for a cartoon, but I thought of the cartoon after I mouthed off.

Maybe we are making too much out of Ivanka’s tweet about working “alongside” the general, but it illustrates just how absurd and ridiculous this administration conducts itself. The people Donald Trump has placed in his administration are ludicrous. The rapper Ludacris couldn’t create a more ludicrous staff than Trump.

During the campaign, I heard people say they would vote for Trump because they were pro-military. Trump often states how much he respects the military. Trump doesn’t respect anything, and his actions prove he doesn’t respect the office he holds. The man insulted a former P.O.W. and Gold Star parents. Placing his inexperienced daughter “alongside” a general is further disrespect. A highly-decorated and accomplished general supposedly shares the same status and access to the president as a fashion designer, or in Ivanka’s case, someone who pilfers designs from other designers and then has the products made by eight-year-old children in China.

President John F. Kennedy practiced nepotism when he made his brother the Attorney General, but at least in that case, you could believe Robert Kennedy could actually do the job. Other than Trump sycophants, who believes Ivanka Trump can shape or even understand policy? We can’t expect her influence to be positive as her silence after Trump’s sexist attack on Mika Brzezinski makes her complicit.

Her husband and Trump’s son-in-law is further nepotism you can’t have any faith in. The “kid” has a larger staff than the Secretary of State. Trump has placed him in charge of finding peace in the Middle East (because he’s Jewish), advising the president, reinventing government (The Office of American Innovation), being a “shadow” diplomat, solving the opioid epidemic, handling diplomacy with Mexico and China, “reimagining” Veteran Affairs, reforming the criminal justice system, and laying out the president’s clothes in the morning.

Our confidence that 36-year-old Jared can accomplish any of the above duties is undermined by his defense of meeting Russians which was, “I’m a novice to politics and I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.” How can the guy be expected to do any of those duties when he’s too busy rewriting his security clearance on a daily basis?

Even Don Jr. is in on the nepotism action, even though he’s supposed to be running the Trump Corporation and separated from what’s going on in the White House.

Everyone’s excited about General John Kelly taking over as Chief of Staff. He’s cleaning house a little by getting rid of Anthony Scaramucci and a few other people that the adults didn’t want on the National Security Council. According to reports, all briefs and information has to go through him before it reaches Trump (maybe no more breaking Breitbart news), he’s shutting the door to the Oval Office so “stragglers” won’t enter to put stupid ideas into the president’s head (though he’s capable of doing that on his own), he’s cutting off people in mid-sentence when they’re rambling, and more importantly, everyone has to go through him before meeting with the president, even Ivanka and Jared. I don’t buy that last one. Where will the General be at 8:37 PM when little princess goes up to see daddy? Can the General get Trump to stop watching Fox And Friends?

Kelly has brought structure and discipline to the Oval Office. Trump has never practiced structure, discipline, or sense in his professional or private life. He’s going to hate it and Kelly won’t last beyond six months. Besides, how much structure is he really bringing with the ilk of Steve Bannon, Stephen Miller, and Kellyanne Conway still hanging about?

You can’t shine a turd. Kelly would have more success in getting “presidential” out of a nutless monkey than he will from Donald Trump.

Creative notes: I was supposedly taking yesterday off, but I drew a cartoon in the morning. This cartoon is kind of a bonus cartoon, because I’m drawing another tonight. While I wanted to do this, I think there are a few more pressing issues I want to cover. I haven’t decided which one yet (so much fuckery).  I’m hoping between now and drawing tonight that I eat something and take a nap.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

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Repeal, Replace, Reboot, Reweb


cjones07162017

What if Jared Kushner is Spiderman? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? No? Well, we can all at least agree that it’s not Mitch McConnell and Donald Trump is not Batman. If anything, all three of these guys would be super villains….if super villains were really, really stupid and crashed into a lot of shit.

The Republicans keep rewriting their health-care plan, and each time it gets worse. It’s like those Incredible Hulk solo films (comic book theme today. Yes, we’re doing this). Even Edward Norton, acting in and writing the film, didn’t help much (Mark Ruffalo kicks ass though). Now they’ve let Ted Cruz (bwahahaha) sink his fangs into it. That would be like trying to improve that Lone Ranger movie by having Kevin Smith rewrite it (The Clerks guy has made a couple of movies you can laugh at, but he really hasn’t ever made a good movie. Ever. Discuss).

The new plan already has GOP defectors, moderates like Maine’s Susan Collins (hero) and scary conservatives like Kentucky’s Rand Paul (villain). The new plan still has massive cuts to Medicare in addition to allowing insurance companies to deny coverage for preexisting conditions. Who in the Hell thinks that improves coverage? Oh yeah. Ted Cruz. Who let Cruz, Shitweaselman, get involved? Mitch McConnell, Turtleman!!!!

Deceit not only comes in ugly packages like Ted Cruz. It can come in a pretty wrapper, like Jared Kushner.

Kushner, Donald Trump’s son-in-law has a security clearance as senior advisor to the president. Having a security clearance is serious business as it allows you access to classified intelligence (Stuff like, Ted Cruz is an alien reptilian). Lying on the application can send a person to prison. Jared has had to amend his at least twice. He forgot to mention he met with the Russian ambassador and the chairman of a Russian government-owned bank. Apparently, during his chats with the Russian ambassador, Kushner asked for a “secret and secure communications channel” with the Kremlin using Russian diplomatic facilities, in an attempt for the transition team to communicate with Russia without the U.S. government’s knowledge.

He has had to amend his application a second time after someone leaked that he, Trump campaign manager (at the time) Paul Manafort, and his idiot brother-in-law, Donald Trump Jr., met with a Russian lawyer who was promising dirt on Hillary Clinton.

Some people are speculating that it was Jared who leaked the meeting with the lawyer so that maybe it would be old news by the time he testifies before the United States Senate. Other say that’s crazy as it puts him in legal hot water. Plus, why would he sell out his wife’s brother? But then we remember, he’s the son of a man, Charles Kushner, who hired a prostitute to seduce his brother-in-law, recorded the entire ordeal, and then sent the tapes to his brother-in-law’s wife, Charles Kushner’s sister. That’s some shady shit right there. That’s the sort of devious stuff that will land a guy in prison, which is where Charles went.

How many more times will Jared be rebooting his clearance application? And why is Ted Cruz so icky?

The GOP health-care plan and Kushy’s clearance has had as many reboots as Spiderman. I liked Tobey Maguire’s Spiderman. That third movie went a little off the rails, but it was still a good trilogy. Then they rebooted it which seemed pointless. Now they’re rebooting it again, but this time Spidey is still in high school (Spider-man: Homecoming) and getting all tangled up in the MCU, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which has him swinging around with the Avengers.

I will be checking out the new Spiderman though I’m not sure how I feel about it. Everyone says it’s great but the entire Avengers thing is starting to look like a club that’s not very exclusive. They’ll let anyone join. Plus, Marisa Tomei is Aunt May? Aunt May is supposed to be old and frail, not the wise-cracking Italian hairdressing mechanic from My Cousin Vinny, or the stripper from The Wrestler. If nothing else, I’ll enjoy watching Robert Downey Jr. play Tony Stark again.

I have an idea. Can we reboot the presidency?

Creative notes: I started with another idea and the bulk of it was drawn. I had this idea and was just going to tweet it out as a smart-ass comment, but then I thought it would change things up a bit and make a decent cartoon. I still like the first cartoon I was working on and may finish it this weekend.

I occasionally tweet out smart-ass comments on Twitter that amuse me, but not enough to create a cartoon out of. You should definitely follow me there if you don’t have enough sarcasm in your life.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Jared’s Back Channel


cjones05302017

Most people would be extremely defensive about being accused of putting the interest of a hostile nation over the United States. They’d be very eager to prove their innocence and erase all doubt. Not these jerks connected to Trump. They’re too busy trying to kill investigations and trying to make deals for immunity.

Is there anyone in the Trump administration or campaign who hasn’t gone on a date with Russian ambassador and renowned spy Sergey Kislyak? Carter Page, Roger Stone, Paul Manafort, Michael Flynn, Jeff Sessions, Donald Trump Jr., Rex Tillerson, Wilbur Ross, J.D. Gordon, Michael Caputo, Rick Gates, Michael Cohen, George Papadopoulos, Erik Prince, and even son-in-law Jared Kushner all have ties to Russia. If you were to count all the people from Team Trump connected to Russia, you’ll need at least three hands.

The latest disturbing revelation came out Friday afternoon when The Washington Post reported that Kushner told Kislyak that the Trump transition team wanted a secret backdoor channel to communicate with the Kremlin. If this is true then nepotism isn’t Trump and Jared’s most flagrant offenses. It’s spying and treason.

The idea of a secret channel is so the U.S. government can’t track the communications. Trump has put a lot of faith into his son-in-law, appointing him as senior adviser and heading up his efforts to bring peace to the Middle East. Jared, who is only 36, has never worked in government and doesn’t have any experience in diplomacy and much has been made of his lack of experience. There’s no better example if the accusations are true that he wanted a secret network with Russia, as the U.S. can track those things. They’d probably also notice Jared going in and out of the Russian embassy. How many times can you use the excuse that you were only there to use the restroom (one Trump ally visited Wikileaks’ founder Julian Assange in the Ecuadorian embassy in London for 40 minutes and later said he couldn’t remember why he was there)?

Apparently, the idea is so crazy, as in stupid, that even Kislyak was dismayed by the idea. The government didn’t listen in on the conversation between Kushner and the ambassador, but they heard the ambassador’s report back to Moscow. The Post reports that Jared wanted to use Russia’s facilities and encryption techniques for the clandestine chit-chats. Such a thing wouldn’t be a high risk just for the Trump Team, but also for Russia. Doing so would require Moscow to expose its most sophisticated communications capabilities — which are likely housed in highly secure locations at diplomatic compounds — to an American. They wouldn’t want to do that even with treasonous Americans.

To be a senior adviser, Kushner had to receive a security clearance. He forgot to include his meetings with Russians on his application, which would normally get your clearance revoked.

Malcolm Nance is a retired United States Navy Senior Chief Petty Officer in naval cryptology, author, scholar, and an expert on terrorism and intelligence. He summed it up best in a not-so-subtle manner Friday night to MSNBC’s Chris Hayes.

Nance said “had any individual other than these individuals who worked immediately for President Trump, performed these actions at any time in the SF-86 security clearance process, they would have immediately had their clearances pulled. They would have had their jobs terminated. Some of these contacts are so suspicious that they would have warranted their own counterintelligence investigation. This nation is in a counterintelligence investigation. They are in a spy hunt over at the FBI, and now we have this story—should it prove true—of an American citizen who is the senior adviser to the president of the United States, attempting to establish what we call in the intelligence community ‘covert communications’ with a hostile nation’s potential intelligence agency or senior leadership. That brings you — that crosses the line to the espionage act of 1917. This cannot be explained. Put aside the other 18 contacts with Moscow. This one incident requires Jared Kushner and all of his immediate staff to have their clearances pulled right now and to have the FBI descend on there and to determine whether this is hostile intelligence in the White House one step from the president.”

He’s right. Not only should Jared lose his clearance, he should be fired. He’s actually done worse than Michael Flynn, who was fired…eventually. Daddy-in-law can always give him a pardon later.

In fact, I think I’ll start a pool of how many pardons Trump will eventually dish out to members of his administration.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Scenes From A Russian Restaurant


cjones04162017

I suppose you can argue that one person with a connection to Russian spies is not indicative of the practices of a campaign. OK, two is a coincidence. Oh, look, there’s another coincidence…and another…and, oh c’mon!!!

What is it with Trump and Russia? He can’t criticize Putin at all. Even yesterday when he said our relations with Russia are at an “all-time low,” yet he couldn’t say anything negative about Putin. He’s bashing Bashar al-Assad all day long for using chemical weapons. He wonders if the Russians are complicit but yet…no harsh words for Putin.

Have you noticed that Trump changes his tune on people after he meets them? He’ll slander them for months. Wage a campaign against them. Then he meets them and talks about how awesome they are. From Obama to Xi Jinping, he hates them and then he loves them. He’s going to go full orgasmic after he meets Putin. Basically, the guy is an ass kisser. By the way, Trump met the NATO guy yesterday and now NATO is not “obsolete” anymore. Also, NATO will now start fighting terrorism, though they’ve been doing that since at least 2001…but Trump, you know. History didn’t begin until he was sworn in as president.

Steve Bannon loves Russia (which many in the Breitbart, alt-right spectrum view as the last bastion of full-fledged whiteness, and in their defense, White Russians are tasty). Bannon was against bombing Syria because it might upset the Russians.

Then you have the people who are actually hanging out with the Russians.

Former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort lobbied for Russian puppets in the Ukraine. Documents showed payments to Manafort from dirty Ukranians to exceed $12 million in cash which he claims he never received, yet evidence turned up of him moving more than $2 million to Washington lobbying firms. Manafort has NOW registered as a foreign lobbyist despite lobbying for Ukraine, Pakistan, Nigeria, Kenya, Equatorial Guinea, Dominican Republic, a Lebanese arms-dealer, and Ferdinand Marcos. Fortunately for him, no Somali pirates have turned up on the list yet.

Today Manafort is under investigation by the CIA, FBI, NSA, Director of National Intelligence, and the financial crimes unit of the Treasury Department. I’m pretty sure he’s wanted for questioning by the Girl Scouts for putting his Tagalongs money into a Cyprus bank, and still owes Blockbuster for rewinding fees.

Of course the Trump campaign says Manafort wasn’t that involved with the campaign despite him being the campaign manager for five months. Paul who?

Jared Kushner, Trump’s son-in-law, senior adviser, and currently leading the White House Office of American Innovation (a branch of the Department of Making America Great Again and NOT an offshoot of the Department of Humping The Boss’ Daughter as many have speculated), has also hung out with Russians. He conveniently forgot about Russian schmoozing when he filled out forms for the nation’s top security clearance (that lets him in on all the juicy secrets like Roswell, JFK, Colonel’s secret recipe, etc.). Jared met with the Russian ambassador, Sergey Kislyak, which is forgetful as everyone else seems to forget they met him, and the head of a Russian state-owned bank. Oops! I don’t forget going to an ATM so I’m pretty sure I’d recall a Russian bank.

We can’t forget Michael Flynn, the shortest-tenured national security adviser in our nation’s history. He’s another guy who forgot he met with the Russian ambassador, Sergey Kislyak. That Kislyak guy must be the most boring person on the planet. Like Manafort, Flynn has NOW registered as a foreign agent, despite working for Turkey before he joined the Trump campaign.

Jeff Sessions is now our attorney general. He met with the Russian ambassador, and guess what! He forgot all about it too. It’s Kislyak! It slipped his mind to the point that he failed to mention it during his confirmation hearings in the United States Senate. He actually volunteered that he never met with any Russians during the campaign (Do you like pizza? Yes, I do and I never met with any Russians). Yet, there he was hanging out with Russians. More specifically, that boring ambassador. What’s his name again? Oh yeah. Kislyak!!

This brings us to Carter Page. Trump dropped his name as an adviser and later said “Carter who?” Carter was targeted by Russian spies who are on tape as referring to him as an “idiot,” and then he volunteered to the press that he was that idiot. He forgot he met the Russian ambassador (KISLYAK!!!), and he’s now under investigation by the FBI, CIA, NSA, ODNI, and FinCEN. Basically every agency currently after Manafort. Investigate two Trumpsters and the third one is free. Now it’s been revealed that the FBI successfully obtained a FISA court warrant to monitor Page and his contacts with the Russians. A FISA is really hard to get and this one was renewed at least once. That’s not good for Carter.

Carter was interviewed by Chris Hayes of MSNBC and said that he can’t verify that he met with the Russian ambassador, but if he did it was in Cleveland and it was the only Russian person he hung out with in Cleveland…if it happened. Oh that guy’s going to do so well when he testifies in front of the senate.

The Russians were right about one thing. Carter Page is an idiot.

And in case you’re reading this and you work for the Trump campaign: The names Kislyak! KISLYAK!!! KISLYAK!!! KISLYAK!!! KISLYAK!!! What’s with you, fuckers?

Creative notes: Why are so many Trump people creepy looking? These guys don’t look like presidential advisers. They look like strangers offering kids free candy from a van with tinted-windows or maybe, shit weasels working at a “Holocaust Center”.

My buddy and fellow cartoonist, Sergey Kislyak…I mean, Ed (sorry, it’s stuck in my head now), told me yesterday that I shouldn’t have used any labels in my “lounge lizard” cartoon. He might be right, but I felt I should risk it here.

I really hate labels and I’m using them less and less. The one flaw of editorial cartoons are the labels. Some cartoonists are really lazy, sloppy, and excessive with them but it’s a minus for the entire genre. I debated not using any today but I’m not sure any of these guys have household faces yet.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Blind Trust


cjones11172016

One of my newspaper clients is the New York Observer. They have been with me for a while and have been a very good client. They communicate with me occasionally, they don’t badger about my subjects, and they pay their bill. I really hate to call them out but they’re owned by Jared Kushner. Mr. Kushner is Donald Trump’s son-in-law. In case you haven’t noticed yet, I have drawn a few cartoons on Mr. Kushner’s dad-in-law, the next president of the United States. In addition to Mr. Kushner their editor once wrote a book and campaign speeches with Rudy Giuliani, potentially our next Secretary of State.

I’ve read a few columns in the Observer critical of Trump, though I doubt they’re going to run my cartoons of their owner’s in-laws and the owner himself. We’ll see. But this issue may be recurring if Mr. Kushner ends up working in the White House.

Most politicians put all their finances into a blind trust upon being elected to office. Donald Trump says he will do the same and have his children, Ivanka, Eric, and Donald Jr., run his corporation. That is not a blind trust.

In fact, there really isn’t such a thing as a blind trust as anyone at anytime can bark at whoever’s handling their finances to find out what’s going on with their money. But politicians hand off all their investments to someone else to at least give the impression that they’re not profiting financially with their office as if they’re the governor of Louisiana or New Jersey.

Trump handing off his company to his children is the same as you letting your kid drive your car. Occasionally you’re going to know what’s going on with your car and eventually find out what that disgusting stain is in the backseat. This gets a little more complicated since we don’t know anything about Trump’s investments. Does he have holdings in Turkey, Russia, or Yemen? Does he owe any of these entities money? So how much is Donald separated from his business when his daughter is running it and her husband, my client, is working alongside him in the White House advising him how best to round up Muslims and Mexicans?

In addition, Kushner has been accused of using his position with Trump to oust his political enemies from the transition team. New Jersey governor Chris Christie was leading the transition team but in years past he sent Kushner’s father to prison. I guess when someone puts your father in prison you might feel some sort of way about that. Christie is no longer leading that team. I guess he burned that bridge (sorry. I couldn’t help myself).

Can you imagine the outcry if Hillary Clinton had engaged in such nepotism?

On top of all this how are we supposed to trust Trump with transparency when he’s sneaking out in the middle of the night without alerting the press pool so he can go to a steak house? Is he afraid they’ll mock him for ordering it extra well done with ketchup?

Rudy Giuliani is apparently the front runner to become Secretary of State. Giuliani has earned millions working for foreign governments and even gave a speech to an Iranian group on the State Department’s list of terrorist organizations. Can you imagine the outcry if Hillary Clinton had paid chats with terrorist organizations?

Looking at how Trump is stocking his office with creatures from the swamp he wants to drain, appointing a white nationalist as his chief strategist, inserting Rudy into the State Department, and giving his family security clearance, I have a not-so-bold prediction. Trump’s administration is going to rival those of Nixon, Reagan, Grant, and Harding, as the most corrupt ever.

And you never know. When Trump cracks down on the media who’s to say Kushner won’t mention the cartoonist who keeps giving his boss “booty lips?”

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!