Every year since 1946, Gallup has released a poll of the most admired persons in America. Sitting U.S. presidents have captured the number one spot in 59 of the 72 years of the poll’s existence. Donald Trump is one of the exceptions.
This year’s top winner is former president Barack Obama. In fact, Obama has the second most number one finishes with eleven. Dwight Eisenhower sits on top with twelve. Trump sits at zero.
Donald Trump is that guy who can’t get over his girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend. A day rarely goes by that he doesn’t tweet about Obama. It bothers Trump that Americans think more highly of Obama than him. Trump confronts this by attacking Obama and even creating lies about him, like claiming he wiretapped Trump Tower. Trump feels the need to describe himself as “your favorite president” while claiming Obama’s accomplishments as his own.
Trump did come in second in the poll, but that was just thirteen percent of respondents.
For most admired woman, America picked Michelle Obama, followed by Oprah Winfrey, Hillary Clinton, and then Melania Trump. Hillary Clinton has the record for number one finishes with 22.
Since Trump hasn’t tweeted about the poll, doubting its accuracy and calling it fake news, yet, maybe he’s not aware of it. He only watches conservative media, which probably hasn’t reported it, and perhaps his staff has kept it away from him. Yesterday, he tweeted about Obama’s house in Washington and the fence around it.
Think about it. Not only did Americans choose a black guy over Trump, but they chose two black women and Hillary Clinton over his wife. Yeah, he definitely doesn’t know about this poll yet.
Be Complicit
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CLAYTOONZ 
Thank you. I’m having a bad day, but your column has afforded me considerable amusement and not a little snickering. Also a virtual high-five with out-of-town husband over another win for a classy doubles act.
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I’m sharing an email that I just got from Robert Mueller:
Special holiday wishes from the special counsel, Robert Mueller, to Borowitz Report readers.
View this email in your browser

My fellow-Americans,
As we count down to the New Year, I think I know exactly what would make 2019 super happy for you! (Believe me, I’m working on it.)
Meanwhile, I thought I’d ring out the old by sharing some of my favorite Borowitz Reports from 2018. There were so many to choose from that it was hard to pick an “individual one.” (Get it? LOL) I hope you enjoy these stories. And remember: if you have any hot tips for me in 2019, call my toll-free number, 1-800-tellbob. (Oh, and don’t give me any tips on Don, Jr. I already have enough on him.)
Cheers!
Robert Mueller

Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Family Flees to Moscow
Trump reportedly was in a tremendous hurry to catch the plane and left behind only a one-sentence note, reading, “THERE WAS NO COLUSION [sic].”
By Andy Borowitz

Satire from The Borowitz Report
Republicans Projected to Pick up Seventy Seats in Prison
According to his projections, Republicans are running for prison “especially well” in districts where the G.O.P. member of Congress was an early supporter of Donald J. Trump.
By Andy Borowitz

Satire from The Borowitz Report
Kushner Close to Obtaining Clearance for Other Government Facility
Although the facility lacks some of the prestige of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, food and lodging would be funded by the taxpayer.
By Andy Borowitz

Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump’s Lawyers Argue That He Cannot Be Impeached Because He Was Never Actually Elected
“A person referred to in a subpoena as ‘President’ Donald J. Trump simply does not exist,” the memo claimed.
By Andy Borowitz

Satire from The Borowitz Report
Rex Tillerson: I Hope Trump Finds Out He’s Impeached on Twitter
Tillerson started laughing in what some witnesses described as a demonic manner as he imagined it.
By Andy Borowitz

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