Melania Trump

Fun With Faux Outrage


cjones12082019

The party that gave us baby jails is outraged that a liberal college professor would inject Trump’s youngest child, Barron, into politics and make jokes at his expense. Except the college professor didn’t do that.

Constitutional law expert Pamela Karlan was testifying before the House Judiciary Committee to give her opinions on impeachment. While answering a question from Democratic representative Sheila Jackson Lee, she invoked Barron’s name to make a point. Not one single Republican seemed to get the point.

Lee asked Karlan about the comparison “between kings that the Framers were afraid of and the president’s conduct today.” Karlan answered, “Contrary to what President Trump says, Article Two does not give him the power to do anything he wants. The Constitution says there can be no titles of nobility, so while the president can name his son Barron, he cannot make him a baron.” How dare she point out that Donald Trump has a son named Barron.

Representative Matt Gaetz, whose inclusion on the committee proves Republicans don’t take it seriously, was indignant. Gaetz is the kind of guy who thinks he’s made a strong point after making an ass out of himself. Earlier this week, he was indignant that the Republican governor of Georgia would appoint someone to the Senate that Trump didn’t endorse. Gaetz, who is from Florida, tweeted, “You are ignoring his request because you THINK you know better than @POTUS.” How dare someone think they know better than Donald Trump, especially concerning their own state. But Gaetz’s best outrage of the week was for Professor Karlan.

He screamed at her, “Let me also suggest that when you invoke the president’s son’s name here. When you try to make a little joke out of referencing Trump, that does not lend credibility to your argument. It makes you look mean. It makes you look like you’re attacking someone’s family. The minor child of the president of the United States.” Her sin was stating Trump has a son named Barron.

Here’s the funny thing about this phony outrage over someone saying Trump’s son’s name: Republicans are hypocrites.

Where’s Gaetz’s outrage over ripping children from their families at the border? It’s non-existent. For that matter, where’s Melania’s outrage?

Melania, or someone with her Twitter password, tweeted, “A minor child deserves privacy and should be kept out of politics. Pamela Karlan, you should be ashamed of your very angry and obviously biased public pandering, and using a child to do it.” The fun part of this is that Melania just used her son to go after her husband’s political foes. Republicans are always guilty of what they accuse others.

But where’s Melania’s outrage over family separation, or Trump boasting about barging into the dressing rooms of teenage beauty pageant contestants, or when he tweeted an attack at 16-year-old climate activist Greta Thunberg?

White House Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham got in on the act and tweeted, “Classless move by a Democratic ‘witness’. Prof Karlan uses a teenage boy who has nothing to do with this joke of a hearing (and deserves privacy) as a punchline. And what’s worse, it’s met by laughter in the hearing room. What is being done to this country is no laughing matter.” Keep in mind, that these people who don’t understand the joke are constantly explaining to us when Trump is joking.

Charlie Kirk, a friend to Trumpy Jr., tweeted, “The left has complained for 2 months it is unethical to attack 49 year old Hunter Biden yet they now shamelessly attack 13 year old Barron Trump. This is the left, they don’t care about people, children, or America, only destroying Trump.” Just a couple months ago, Kirk accused Thunberg (remember, she’s only 16) of supporting “domestic terrorism.”

Fox News’ Laura Ingraham (this is getting too good) tweeted, “Karlan’s cheap shot invoking Baron Trump’s name just lost them any shred of hope that they’re going to win this impeachment battle in the court of public opinion.” Ingraham was outraged, but not enough to bother learning how to spell Barron’s name. Let me remind you, Ingraham taunted David Hogg, who many Republicans accused of being a “crisis actor,” over his college rejections.

Other Republicans pounced. Pence pounced. The Trump campaign pounced. One Republican congressman even entered Melania’s tweet into the Congressional Record.

Immigrant children, survivors of school shootings, and teenage climate activists are all fair game for attacks from Republicans. The rule is, don’t even say the name of a Republican’s child.

A cartooning colleague of mine, who is a level-headed guy, said Karlan messed up because she fed the GOP, Trump cult, and Fox News hosts’ fake outrage for the next six months. But I have an issue with that. Why should we change the rules because Republicans are idiots and liars? Apparently, we did change the rules because Karlan apologized before the hearing was over, which of course no Republican bothered to acknowledge, just like Trump isn’t a king, can’t make Barron a baron, or that “Barron” is the name Trump used to use when he’d call reporters pretending to be someone else to talk about himself.

Melania’s campaign as First Lady is titled “Be Best,” which is an anti-bullying campaign. This is why it’s hard to create satire on this administration. The thing Republicans are best at is pretending to be victimized.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Admired Bigly


cjones01042019

Every year since 1946, Gallup has released a poll of the most admired persons in America. Sitting U.S. presidents have captured the number one spot in 59 of the 72 years of the poll’s existence. Donald Trump is one of the exceptions.

This year’s top winner is former president Barack Obama. In fact, Obama has the second most number one finishes with eleven. Dwight Eisenhower sits on top with twelve. Trump sits at zero.

Donald Trump is that guy who can’t get over his girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend. A day rarely goes by that he doesn’t tweet about Obama. It bothers Trump that Americans think more highly of Obama than him. Trump confronts this by attacking Obama and even creating lies about him, like claiming he wiretapped Trump Tower. Trump feels the need to describe himself as “your favorite president” while claiming Obama’s accomplishments as his own.

Trump did come in second in the poll, but that was just thirteen percent of respondents.

For most admired woman, America picked Michelle Obama, followed by Oprah Winfrey, Hillary Clinton, and then Melania Trump. Hillary Clinton has the record for number one finishes with 22.

Since Trump hasn’t tweeted about the poll, doubting its accuracy and calling it fake news, yet, maybe he’s not aware of it. He only watches conservative media, which probably hasn’t reported it, and perhaps his staff has kept it away from him. Yesterday, he tweeted about Obama’s house in Washington and the fence around it.

Think about it. Not only did Americans choose a black guy over Trump, but they chose two black women and Hillary Clinton over his wife. Yeah, he definitely doesn’t know about this poll yet.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Melania’s Bad Side Can Be A Drag


cjones11172018

Melania Trump is not the first First Lady to influence her husband, the president of the United States. It’s not unusual, unique, or strange.

Sarah Polk helped her husband craft speeches and wrote letters for him. Sarah Fillmore helped create the White House library, which Trump still doesn’t know is in there. Caroline Harrison, a proponent of women’s rights and historic preservation was the first president-general of the Daughters of the American Revolution while she was serving as First Lady. Woodrow Wilson didn’t see anything unless his wife, Edith, approved, as she made daily decisions about what items should or should not be taken to him. Eleanor Roosevelt fought for the New Deal and women’s and civil rights while in the White House. Betty Ford was an advocate for the Equal Rights Amendment and the legalization of abortion (Time called her the country’s “Fighting First Lady,” and many conservatives wanted her to resign, though I don’t know how that would work). Betty even delivered her husband’s concession speech. Rosalynn Carter sat in on cabinet meetings. Hillary Clinton was appointed by her husband to the Task Force on National Health Care Reform and became and still, is a national villain to gaslighted Republicans. Nancy Reagan coordinated her husband’s schedule with an astrological chart, claimed Donald Regan, who was fired as Chief-of-Staff for disagreeing with her.

Normally, a First Lady’s influence on the staff is leaked out from White House insiders and not blasted in a press release stating the equivalent of “I hate their rancid ass and it should be kicked to the curb.” That’s basically what the East Wing issued yesterday in calling for the ouster of deputy national security adviser Mira R. Ricardel. The West Wing issued a response that they had no control over the East Wing. There’s more drama between these wings than left and right Twix.

The statement read, “It is the position of the Office of the First Lady that she no longer deserves the honor of serving in this White House.” No. There wasn’t a “meow” at the end, but she did tweet later about World Kindness Day. Here’s the weirdest part; Ricardel hasn’t been fired yet.

Ricardel is John Bolton’s deputy because that much xenophobia needs an assistant. Three current and two former White House officials said Tuesday that Ricardel had berated people in meetings, yelled at professional staff, argued with the first lady and spread rumors about Defense Secretary James Mattis. Now, I wanna know the Mattis rumors. They can’t be any worse than the president’s Mario-Mushroom rumor.

Chief-of-Staff John Kelly has been pushing for Ricardel’s ouster, but Melania may be pushing for his too.

There are rampant rumors that Homeland Security Director Kirstjen Nielsen and Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke are also on the poop list.

Melania told ABC News in an interview last month that there are some White House advisers she doesn’t trust. It’s nice to know we’re not the only ones except, I don’t trust any of them.

Maybe it’s good for us that Melania is influencing who should stay and go. But, perhaps she should focus on the East Wing a bit more than the West Wing. Not because she’s a woman, but because she has started a campaign she hasn’t engaged in. Her anti-bullying campaign is stark hypocrisy and a national joke since her husband is the most sexist bully this side of Biff Tannen. It would be like Ivanka leading an anti-nepotism campaign.

Personally, I’m looking forward to the future firing and their replacements and their future firings. I’m also hoping Trump acts as his own Chief-of-Staff for a while. But to be honest, I’m also a big fan of train wrecks.

I’m going out right now to buy Melania an astrological chart.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

R U Being Served?


cjones06292018

Last week during a trip to Texas for a photo-op at a detention center holding migrant children the Trump administration separated from their parents, Melania Trump wore her now infamous “I REALLY DON’T CARE. DO U?” jacket.

Melania’s spokesperson issued a statement that the First Lady wasn’t sending a message despite the fact there was a literal message on the jacket. Then, the president undercut Melania’s team by saying it was a message to the “lying” media, and that Melania doesn’t care what they say.

Whether Melania was sending a message to the media, her husband, or on the issue, “I really don’t care” sums up the Trump administrations’ attitude toward human rights. In fact, the United States pulled out of the United Nations’ Human Rights Commission last week citing the abysmal human rights records of many of its members. Now, on the issue of human rights, the U.S. is becoming a pariah throughout the world…and in fine dining establishments in the Washington Beltway.

After lying to the nation that there was not a policy separating migrant families, Homeland Security Director Kirstjen Nielsen was booed out of a Washington Mexican restaurant. A few days earlier, the architect of the racist policy, White House adviser Stephen Miller was also heckled at a Mexican restaurant. Inflicting lifelong trauma on migrant children must make one acquire a hankering for tacos. If Hillary was elected, these ghouls wouldn’t need to hunt down Mexican restaurants as there’d be a taco truck on every corner.

White House spokesgoon Sarah Huckabee Sanders was asked to leave the Red Hen restaurant in Lexington, Virginia over the weekend. One of the owners said Sanders works in an “inhumane and unethical” administration. That point was proven on the ethics part after Sanders used her government Twitter account to smear the establishment. Sander wrote, “I always do my best to treat people, including those I disagree with, respectfully and will continue to do so,” which is a lie. It’s not with respect when she lies to the nation and insults members of the media for asking questions she refuses to answer, like saying some sentences are too big for Jim Acosta at CNN.

Sanders was upset about being kicked out because she works for Trump, which highlights why she was kicked out. She doesn’t work for Trump. She works for you and me. We pay her, Trump doesn’t. How does she do the job we’re paying her for? She lies and supports an administration that is tearing our nation apart.

Trump jumped in to smear the restaurant Monday morning with a tweet of his own. The guy can’t say anything slightly critical of dictators, but he’s one step away from writing Yelp reviews. Not only did the president’s spokesperson attack a private business because of a personal grudge, so did the president of the United States. Kids in cages and baby prisons aren’t nearly as upsetting as Sarah not being able to get a churro.

Trump’s supporters, white Christians who claim they’re the most persecuted people ever in the existence of the Earth, attacked the Red Hen by writing nasty reviews online, forgetting the celebrations they recently had over an Indiana bakery being able to refuse to make gay wedding cakes.

A restaurant can’t refuse service based on religion, sexual orientation, or the color of your skin. But they can kick you out if they think you’re a jerk. Years ago, a restaurant asked O.J. Simpson to leave because they didn’t want to serve a man many people believe is a murderer. Recently, a court in New York ruled that a bar can refuse service to a man wearing a MAGA hat. The court said political viewpoints are not protected from discrimination.

I saw a cartoon recently of a maître d’ telling a couple, “I’m afraid we can’t allow two fat ugly bastards like you to have a window table.” Maybe some restaurants don’t want to be known for serving bastards who work in a racist, stupid, lying, corrupt administration.

Trump has taken this opportunity with the Red Hen to turn it into a red herring. He tweeted, “The Red Hen Restaurant should focus more on cleaning its filthy canopies, doors and windows (badly needs a paint job) rather than refusing to serve a fine person like Sarah Huckabee Sanders. I always had a rule, if a restaurant is dirty on the outside, it is dirty on the inside!”

I have the same rule toward politicians. If a politician has a ridiculous comb-over, fake spray tan, and can’t find a suit that fits thus looking like a jackass, then he’s probably a jackass.

Watch me draw.

Thank you for your support. Reader contributions really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and the First Amendment, and independent journalism while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Be Best Be Bully


cjones05152018

It only took a year and a half after becoming First Lady for Melania Trump to reveal her social agenda. Melania is tackling online bullying with a program called “Be Best.” Really? After a year and a half, the best you can come up with is “be best?” Did someone already take “be gooder?” In addition to that, it’s rolled out in a re-packaged pamphlet from the Federal Trade Commission created during the Obama era.

Melania plagiarized a speech from Michelle Obama for her Republican National Convention speech. During her speech presenting the Be Best program, I was shocked she didn’t lift from Whitney Houston and say, “I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.” Hey, it takes a village.

The real crux of Melania’s anti-bullying Be Best campaign is that she’s married to the Be Worst president.

Donald Trump is a bully and Twitter is his favorite outlet to sling his attacks. He’s gone after minorities, women, and anyone else who dare criticizes him, no matter how small the target may be. He has done everything in his power to be as divisive as possible. Take his assault on black athletes in the NFL. And idiots want to give this guy a Nobel.

Trump has especially attacked women. He has a long history of it. He attacked Rosie O’Donnell years ago and called her a pig. During the campaign, he tweeted out a very unflattering photo of Heidi Cruz next to a pic of Melania. He said Megyn Kelly had “blood coming out of her wherever” after she asked him tough questions during a debate. He criticized fellow GOP candidate Carly Fiorina’s face. He called Alicia Machado disgusting and criticized her for gaining weight after she won his Miss Universe pageant. He said Hillary Clinton’s looks didn’t impress him. He continues to call Senator Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas.” He’s accused his accusers of not being attractive enough to sexually assault. He conducted a tweetstorm about Mika Brzezinski’s face because she’s not nice to him on Morning Joe. Let’s not forget he also endorsed a pedophile with the excuse, “he denies it.”

Throughout each of these attacks, Melania has either remained silent or defended his bullying.

Would Melania allow her son Barron to insult women the way his father does? That would be the equivalent of Michelle Obama telling us to feed our children carrots and broccoli while pumping Sasha and Malia full of Ho Hos and Ding Dongs.

Why should anyone listen to Melania Trump lecture about online bullying when her 71-year-old husband is verbally assaulting people with the creativity of an illiterate snail darter?

Melania’s initiative runs counter to Trump’s personal, professional, and public agenda which is shared by his entire administration. On the day of her Be Best ceremony where she said “Children deserve every opportunity to enjoy their innocence,” Attorney General Jeff Sessions was giddy in announcing ICE would be separating children from their parents and Donald was requesting funding cuts to children’s healthcare insurance. Children deserve the opportunity to enjoy their innocence unless they’re brown or poor.

Melania advocates Be Best while Donald exhibits Be An Asshole.

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Stormy


cjones02012018

Is it unfair of me to hit Melania Trump with a cartoon? Yeah. Political cartoons aren’t supposed to be fair. Show me a fair political cartoon and I’ll show you a crappy cartoon.

During the national meltdown that was Bill Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinsky, conservatives and liberals alike wondered, some demanded, why Hillary wouldn’t leave Bill. I don’t like to judge other people’s relationships. But, I wondered the same thing at the time. I thought, man…Hillary can never wear a blue dress ever again. But, there are differences between Hillary Clinton and Melania Trump.

The first thing is, Bill did not marry Hillary to be a trophy wife. Republicans can’t make that argument after spending over twenty years insulting her looks. Bill and Hillary married right out of college. They tied their careers together. They were real partners. Hillary and Bill married each other believing in building a future of great accomplishments. None of that is true for Melania and Donald.

Melania is Donald’s third wife, who he cheated with on wife number two, who he cheated with on wife number one. Trump has a long history of cheating, grabbing women, and just being an all-around asshole toward them. Trump has bragged about assaulting women and barging in on teenage girls undressing. None of this can be news to Melania.

It is extremely difficult to believe that Melania, who is 24 years younger than Donald, would be married to him if he wasn’t a supposed billionaire or famous TV personality. Beautiful models don’t marry old, racist assholes with bad comb-overs who paint themselves orange…unless they have a lot of money.

I feel Melania’s pain and humiliation over the revelation that Trump had an affair with a porn star and paid her hush money. I’d be pissed too. But, while this issue may be new news to Melania, the fact Trump is a piece of crap can’t be unless she really is stupid. She may be ignorant but she’s not stupid.

She is a victim of her husband and a fair target for my criticism. She didn’t ask for this, but she can’t be surprised. Look who she married. She can’t be entirely ignorant about plagiarizing Michelle Obama’s speeches either. Also, how can she look at anyone with a straight face while talking about her anti-bullying campaign? Has she reasoned to her young son, named after Trump’s pseudonym, why bullying is wrong except when Daddy does it?

Melania publicly slapped Trump’s hand away on an international trip. She ditched the Davos trip after the Stormy news came out. It’s reported in Fire And Fury that she has a separate bedroom from Trump which proves she is a human being. This is not a real marriage. She should get out.

Republicans in Washington may be selling their souls and dignity, but Melania still has a chance to redeem hers.

As Oprah would say, you go, girl.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

Schwag And Crowd Sizes


cjones09012017

With the bar being set very low for Trump, the man is being praised for not talking about his electoral victory, Hillary Clinton, fake media, or witch hunts during his trip to survey the flood Harvey brought to Texas. However, he did talk about crowd sizes.

The day started with Melania being mocked on social media for wearing ridiculous high heel shoes for their trip to Houston. The shoes, made by Manolo Blahnik which fetch for around $600 (of course I had to look that up. Who the hell is Manolo Blahnik?), was more of a fashion statement than smart footwear for surveying a flood. Apparently, she got the memo before they touched down in Houston as she swapped out for some more practical Adidas.

But, the accessorizing didn’t stop. Trump wore his “45 USA” cap with “TRUMP” stamped on the back. In case you’re wondering, yes it’s for sale at his website for $40. I know some baseball caps go for around that price, but if you spend more than twenty on a cap, then you’re an asshole (but it’s a good price for a signed print of a political cartoon).

Melania was also sporting a cap with the words “FLOTUS” stamped on the front. In case you’re an idiot, “FLOTUS” stands for “first lady of the United States.” No word yet if that schwag will be available on the Trump website in the future.

You never saw Barack or Michelle Obama pimping out schwag while they were touring disaster areas, or at any other times. He could have plugged “Dreams From My Father” at every appearance, but I guess he felt it wouldn’t have been presidential.

Maybe there’s too much criticism of Melania’s cap and heels, but do you remember when Obama was scorned for wearing a tan suit, or when Michelle was crucified for going sleeveless…and for everything else she ever wore? It’s kinda like how conservatives forget that they used to criticize a president for taking vacations and playing golf.

The main criticism Trump received yesterday was for his lack of empathy, and for commenting “what a crowd” at the people gathered to hear him speak. I’m sure it was an impressive crowd, though those people probably would have rather had been at their homes without wading through their living rooms. Not everything is about you, Donald. Perhaps next time he should say something about the people who are going through a natural disaster. Hey, it’s just a suggestion.

Word out of the White House is that Trump is peeved his Arizona rally didn’t draw a large enough crowd. Don’t worry, Donald. There will always be a crowd outside protesting.

It’s not that Donald Trump lacks empathy compared to Obama, Bill Clinton, or even George W. Bush. The fact is, we have a president who doesn’t care about anyone or anything that doesn’t have “Trump” on his, her, or its name.

Trump cares more about his $40 shitty caps than he does about anyone in Houston. That, you can take to the bank. Preferably, not a Russian bank.

Creative notes: Yes, I know. Katrina occurred while Bush II was president, but a lot of Republicans don’t know that. Really.

Also, I’m getting tired of drawing floods, life rafts, and canoes. At this point, I’m starting to miss the Nazis.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Trumpen Hooker


cjones08242016

Donald Trump LOOOOVES fake news. He loves conspiracy theories, gossip, rumors, and dirty lies. He peddles them, he tweets them, he finances them, and he bases his entire campaign off them.

The liberal website Think Progress has an article describing 12 conspiracy theories Trump has embraced. The site Alternet went even farther and reported on 58.

He’s pushed lies from right wing websites such as Breitbart to gossip from the National Enquirer ranging from birtherism, Ted Cruz’s father being in on the JFK assassination, to Hillary suffering some super secret health issue. Earlier this week he took issue with the MSNBC program Morning Joe and tweeted that hosts Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski were secret lovers.

So it’s a bit hypocritical that Trump’s wife has hired lawyers to send out threatening letters to news outlets regarding rumors that she worked as an escort when she first arrived to the United States.

The Daily Mail, The Week(UK), Politico, Inquisitr, Tarpley, Before It’s News, Liberal America, LawNewz, Winning Democrats and Bipartisan Report have all received threats of lawsuits from the same lawyers who sued Gawker over a Hulk Hogan sex tape. I haven’t even heard of some of those outlets.

A few of those outlets such as Politico and The Week were focusing on questions over Melania’s immigration status when she first arrived to the United States in the 1990s and they mentioned the hooker allegations. Some of the other sites gleefully went to town over the rumors of Mrs. Trump working on her back which is really unfair, because if she did have a career in prostitution we really don’t know what sexual positions she employed.

Now I really don’t expect Melania’s Hulk Hogan lawyers to come after me. I’m just an itty bitty, microscopic, rapscallion political cartoonist that’s barely a blemish on the grand face of American journalism. I haven’t even been able to get an angry response or insult from Trump on Twitter and that makes me very sad. Though it would be kinda cool to get the national attention of a legal threat, the accusations of Melania working as an escort don’t pass the smell test. They’re not credible or substantiated. Darn. I haven’t even attracted hackers.

I have not read anything credible that proves Melania Trump ever performed sexual favors for money before she married Donald Trump.

My cartoons run in The Week and occasionally Politico gives me some love. Last year the site Liberal America, which was threatened by Melania’s lawyers, ran my work. It doesn’t surprise me they made the list as their ethics have been questionable and it’s the reason my cartoons are not on their site anymore. I pointed out to them that they can’t be a credible or respectable news site if they kept using work by writers and reporters who used pseudonyms. Their immediate response was to end our business relationship which was fine and their right. I was too amused by their insecurity and hurt feelings to be angry over it and I never published anything about it until now.

Back to the Melania issue: Legitimate news sites, even opinion sites, should not debase themselves to take up the pond scumming habits of the likes of Breitbart, even without the threats of lawsuits. Besides, Donald Trump really doesn’t like it when you act like Donald Trump.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

The Emperor May Have Clothes…But His Wife Is Nekkid


cjones08022016

There’s a huge double standard in politics, culture, and society. It applies to gender, race, and even to personalities. For example, insanity, stupidity, and rampant racism would rule out any other candidate, but Donald Trump makes it sell.

People say there’s a double standard for Hillary Clinton and that no one else could get away with her activity. Actually, when’s the last time someone questioned the price of a male politician’s suit? People insult Hillary for her age, yet she’s younger than The Donald. Conservatives criticize her looks as if she’s supposed to be the fashion model wife of Donald Trump, and not a grandmother. Trump can take five children from three different mothers to his convention, yet do you believe Hillary Clinton would have a political career if she had children from three different fathers? Hell, can you imagine if Barack Obama had three different baby mamas? Congressional Republicans would hold hearings.

Most people, myself included, will refer to Hillary Clinton as just “Hillary.” In my defense and perhaps others, there are two Clintons who vied for the presidency. When it came to two Bushes they were both “Georges” and we could refer to one as “H.W.” and the other as “W.”, or as many others would, “Dumbass.”

Conservatives have really ripped into Michelle Obama over the past eight years. Her outfits have been criticized and so have their price tags. Her vacations aren’t just attacked. Republicans and conspiracy websites make up prices over them. She gets attacked for flying on Air Force One. Do you recall other presidents and their wives being critiqued for flying on Air Force One or the price of their vacations? Hell, George W. Dumbass Bush spent more time on vacations than any president in history but you’d think Barack Obama was on a permanent vacation. Critics forget, or just don’t want to know, that presidents pay for their vacations. Guess what. They also pay for their own food while in the White House. Look it up.

Michelle Obama has even been attacked for encouraging children to eat healthier. You’d think she was feeding them battery acid and bleach. The most fun thing they’ve done is criticize her looks, when she may be the most fit First Lady in history. Did Mamie Eisenhower own a treadmill?

Conservatives have circulated memes and photo shopped pics of her rear end, as if that had anything to do with anything. Their heads have exploded when she exposed her arms as if she was a Fox News anchor.

Democrats are supposed to live by the Republican vision of family values. One spouse, clean kids, a bookish wife, etc. Republicans could nominate a man for the presidency who has been married thrice, with his current wife a former nude model. In fact, that’s what they did.

Say what you want about former First Ladies, but none had a career of sticking their bare ass into a camera lens. That’s exactly what the New York Post has splashed on their front page, Melania’s bare ass, her bare front, engaging in a little girl-on-girl action.

Melania Trump is often described as a former fashion model. To be a fashion model one would have to actually wear something fashionable or something that could be described as clothing. Melania Trump was naked, nude, buck ass, raw, nekkid. She’s even done photo shoots where she’s making out with another woman. If that sounds like porn to you, or even lesbianish, I’m sure it’s not because Republicans are against porn and Donald Trump has actually promised to protect us all from the smut industry.

I’m not trying to slut-shame Melania here. She’s a nude model who married a billionaire and has to plagiarize a speech. I do not have high expectations for her. I’m shaming the hypocrites. Those same hypocrites who attack Michelle Obama for exposing her biceps yet probably all have accounts at Ashley Madison.

I think maybe Republicans should stop attacking Michelle Obama’s dresses and Hillary Clinton’s pantsuits until they have a First Lady who’s actually with apparel.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

 

Melania’s Plagiarism


cjones07222016

I’m always interested in the speakers at the conventions, but more so with the GOP’s this year, as they’ve had a very difficult time getting anyone of any significance willing to speak at this dumpster fire. Half the roster is made up of Trump kids.

Rudy Giuliani did fine shouting from the podium. He riled everyone up. Three of the speakers said Hillary Clinton should be in prison. The opening pastor referred to Democrats as the enemy. Joni Ernst did fine if she’s a robot grandma. Then there was Melania Trump, Donald’s trophy wife.

Being the super model stepford immigrant wife that she is, I didn’t expect much. Not that she should be regarded as stupid, but she’s not a person who has ever accomplished anything other than marrying rich. She’s never been noted for intelligence. So I had low expectations.

First, Donald came out to introduce his fancy cardboard cutout to a Queen song. Leave it to the GOP to bash gays and then rip a song written by Freddy Mercury.

I was surprised. I thought she did fine. I mean, other than being Donald’s third wife while talking about how loyal he is. She also mentioned being with Donald for 18 years, though he divorced his last wife in 1999. You do the math. Then she talked about how hard work gets you where you are. Now I’d point out that she married into richness, but considering what she has to sleep with for that, let’s cut her some slack there.

But it turns out the rest of her idea of hard work is stealing parts of her speech from Michelle Obama’s speech at the 2008 convention. Now that’s a problem.

Republicans are bashing the Obama’s. They’ve been doing so for the past eight years. So to steal from “the enemy” is outrageous. Did Republicans like her speech? If so, that means they like what Michelle Obama has to say. This spittle’s going to turn slow.

We can blame the speech writer, except Melania gave an interview on NBC saying she wrote the speech herself with little help. But we know that’s not true (would a Trump lie?).

We could just cut her some slack and let the issue go away because Republicans have NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVER criticized and piled on a First Lady….ever, ever, ever.

Immediately we look to blame a speech writer and wait for a head to come rolling down the steps of Trump Tower. But if Hillary Clinton did this in 1992 they would have accused of her killing the person she stole it from. If Michelle Obama did this in 2008 they would have lynched her. They already think her encouragement to children to eat more vegtables is some sort of new world order of Muslim socialism.

There’s trouble with this campaign. They can’t create a logo without an impression of jail rape. They can’t get anyone to speak. They can’t organize a convention. And apparently, they can’t write speeches without stealing them from Democrats.

The right thing to do would be for the speech writer to come forward, plea for mercy and resign. So naturally the Trump campaign denies anything was stolen and it’s all Hillary Clinton’s fault. Really. They did that. Since Donald Trump is a pathological liar he probably really believes his wife wrote the entire thing herself. Is pathological contagious?

I’m sure the Trump campaign spent all of Tuesday scrubbing and rewriting the rest of the Trump clan’s speeches. That’s too bad because I’d enjoy hearing Ivanka do “I’m all about that bass, about that bass, no treble.”

And yes. Part of Melania’s speech did “Rick Roll” the GOP convention.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!