Fake Investigation


The Federal Bureau of Investigations did about as thorough of a job investigating sexual allegations against SCOTUS nominee Brett Kavanaugh as O.J. Simpson did in his search for the “real killers.”

Originally, Donald Trump said he wouldn’t ask the FBI to extend its background investigation on Kavanaugh, as it wasn’t what they do. Republicans echoed that nonsense. When asked if he would call for an FBI investigation, Kavanaugh said, “I like beer.”

Retiring senator Jeff Flake flaked on voting to confirm unless there was an investigation, so the White House authorized one, but limited its scope. Trump claimed he wasn’t limiting the FBI’s search while limiting their search. They gave the FBI a week, and they only took five days. You could actually keep video rentals out longer than that, back when there were video rentals.

Republicans didn’t want an investigation as they were afraid something new would be found. They don’t want to find any nastiness until Kavanaugh is on the bench. After looking at the report, that didn’t contain interviews with the accuser, or the accused, or a polygraph from Kavanaugh, the Republicans described it as a “very thorough investigation.”

Those who were interviewed gave additional names to the FBI, which went ignored. Several people contacted the FBI claiming they had corroborating information on Kavanaugh, but they too were ignored. It’s like the hunt was conducted by those Finding Bigfoot geeks, who claim they’re experts at finding Bigfoots, yet they’ve never found one. But, even they would have taken longer than five days. In fact, you could call the FBI and report you saw Bigfoot and aliens and probably get a faster response than if you were calling about Kavanaugh.

But, we didn’t need the investigation to know Kavanaugh doesn’t belong on the Supreme Court.

More than 2,400 law professors are opposed to Kavanaugh’s confirmation. Former Justice John Paul Stevens is opposed to the confirmation. A majority of Americans are opposed.

Other than being a suspected sexual assaulter with a drinking problem, there are several reasons Kavanaugh should not be confirmed.

The first is a reason we keep forgetting. Donald Trump is being investigated, thankfully by real cops, for colluding with Russia and other crimes to gain the presidency. A fraudulent president shouldn’t be shaping the Supreme Court for the next forty years.

Kavanaugh is not a consensus candidate. If you have to struggle to find 50 votes for confirmation, then you should give up. Find someone who can get the support of at least 60 Senators. Yes. Even in this day of tribal politics, you can find a nominee with bipartisan support. They’re out there. But, this Senate knew Trump would only nominate d-bags and the worst from the judicial system to place on the court, which is what the GOP wants. So, they changed the rules so that only 50 votes, not 60, are required to place a person on the Supreme Court for the rest of his life.

Kavanaugh doesn’t have the temperament. He displayed that at his last hearing, crying, shouting, and throwing questions back at senators when he wasn’t dodging or refusing to answer them. He’s a partisan hack, having worked in the Ken Starr investigation, which was an actual witch hunt.

Speaking of which, if a president can be impeached for lying about something that wasn’t a crime, then a SCOTUS nominee shouldn’t be confirmed for lying during his confirmation hearings. Kavanaugh hasn’t just lied about Devil’s Triangle, the Ralph Club, FFFF, or boofing. He lied about torture during the Bush administration and receiving stolen documents. We deserve a justice that can be trusted, not a perjurer.

He engaged in partisan conspiracy theories, the likes peddled by Alex Jones and Rush Limbaugh, during his last hearing. He claimed people bitter about Trump’s victory and those wanting revenge for the Clintons were out to get him. He said “what comes around goes around,” which is not something you want to hear from a guy headed to the Supreme Court. All that was missing was a “bwahahahahaha” and wringing his hands together. That’s probably coming after he’s confirmed.

Realizing he came off as a partisan hack, Kavanaugh wrote a column which appeared in The Wall Street Journal, which is owned by Rupert Murdoch. Good job, Brett, I mean “Bart.” Let’s prove you’re not a partisan by writing for Murdoch’s paper and appearing on his network. He didn’t apologize but wrote that he shouldn’t have said the things he said during that hearing, and he promises to be impartial and fair. But, those weren’t spontaneous comments. He wrote them down. He was prepared to say them. He thought beforehand that it was a great idea to say them. The only thing his advisers edited out was, “bwahahahahaha.”

The Senate needs to vote no on Kavanaugh. I don’t know why they’re insistent on dying on the hill for this guy. There are plenty of other right-wing assholes to choose from that will please their base, and who probably aren’t alcoholic rapists.


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  1. Listening to the live coverage on NPR of the Senate BK Debate. After hearing Slimy McC for a few minutes, had to stop and run out of the car for an extensive session of projectile vomiting.
    Whereas 45* is Evil, Slimy McC is PURE EVIL, because, while the jury may still be out on 45*, Slimy McC Knows EXACTLY What He Is Doing.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. The only reason that the
    GOP Senate doesn’t
    immediately turn around
    and Vote to Confirm BK
    Right Now is that most of
    the GOP Senate needs to
    go home to change their
    Depends (or maybe just
    their underpants) after
    having Massive Synchronized
    Ejaculations after Today’s
    Procedural Vote.


  3. Very well summarized Clay. Kavanaugh’s a dirt bag through and through. In my life I’ve lived through 4 horrible political issues that I know have greatly diminished America. Bush-Gore, Donald Trump, Citizens United, and now Kavanaugh. (A judge that cannot obey the law cannot be expected to apply it.) We’re phucked.

    Liked by 2 people

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