Parading For Mr. Bone Spurs


cjones02082018

Question: How in the hell can we hold a military parade down Pennsylvania Avenue to show the world the might of our armed forces when our military is depleted like Donald Trump claims Obama left it?

Trump plans to increase military spending and reignite the Cold War by building up our nuclear arsenal. Apparently, nuclear weapons aren’t Twinkies, and they have expiration dates.

Now, he wants to spend millions of dollars on a military parade in Washington, D.C. He says it’s a great way to honor the troops. I think a better way would be to spend that money on healthcare for our troops, higher wages, and impeaching Trump, so he’s not the one making military decisions.

Trump has had a chubby for the military ever since he found out he wouldn’t actually have to serve in it himself. That’s OK because he did sacrifice for our nation by making himself rich and not paying people who work for him.

French President Emmanuel Macron made things even worse by inviting Trump to his nation’s Bastille Day Parade. This parade is a huge tradition in France going all the way back to 1880 and their military is a large part of it. There are tanks, jets, soldiers, and horses on full display celebrating all the times France didn’t surrender. When Germany occupied France in World War II, they held a military parade on the same route. That’s a little insulting.

Ever since Trump saw the display of France’s military in a parade, he hasn’t been able to shut up about it. If I went to France, I’d probably still be thinking about the cheese. But for Trump, it’s been nothing but “French parade this, French parade that, no collusion, bigly” on a constant stream. It’s one of a thousand reasons Melania has her own bedroom (it’s not just the cheeseburgers).

The idea of a military parade isn’t very popular with people who don’t take a fancy to fascism. Hitler and Mussolini threw big military parades. The Soviet Union was quite fond of them. North Korea has them all the time so their people can see what the government spends money on and why they can’t eat.

Other than being totalitarian nations, each of those countries have one thing in common. Their military is their greatest strength. Our military is wonderful. The people who serve in it are awesome. But, our armed forces are not our greatest asset. It’s our people, our freedom, our Constitution, and our diversity. World leaders may look at our country and want to emulate our army, but their people want to copy our freedom. Nationalism has never made a nation great.

Nationalism is for small-brained people who have to accentuate and lie about things being bigger than they actually are, so they can feel good about themselves.

We don’t need a parade of 70-ton tanks chewing up Pennsylvania Avenue to show the world we’re the biggest kid on the block. They already know it.

Trump has been hankering for a military parade since before his inauguration. In fact, he wanted tanks for his inaugural parade. Instead, he had to settle for tractors and Three Doors Down.  Since he can’t order Pearl Jam to play for him, he’s ordering the military to put on a show. Why can’t he be happy being the baby with two scoops of ice cream while everyone else only has one?

I’m sure Trump can’t wait to show Kim Jong Un that he too can wave at passing tanks and missiles from a podium. Maybe, instead of firing missiles at each other, Kim and the dotard can just have competing parades.

Senator Tammy Duckworth, a combat veteran who lost both of her legs in Iraq, called Trump “Cadet Bone Spurs” after he accused Democrats of being un-American and traitors for not clapping for him. Maybe if Trump had actually served in the military, he would be going all Call of Duty in the streets of our nation’s capital.

But, hey…let’s waste millions of dollars throwing a military parade for the guy who said P.O.W.s are not heroes and insults Gold Star Families.

Creative note: First off, thanks for loving yesterday’s cartoon on Trump’s treason comment. The website got nearly 6,000 hits and the cartoon was shared over 4,000 times on Facebook and twice on Twitter.

Second, have you seen the YouTube videos I’m making for these cartoons? Please go check them out. They’re filmed while I’m drawing the cartoon, but I put them together later in the day because I’m tired after drawing and blogging. I also want to give the cartoon some time to get all the attention before I throw the video up.

The videos are made in segments, with several smaller videos. I have to sync them, do the time-lapse thing, record the voice over for narration, format, and then upload to YouTube. That takes some time. I’ve noticed since I started doing these videos that I’m less distracted by stuff that’s not really important. All I think about now are my cartoons, news, writing the blog, doing the videos, sleep, sandwiches, and if there’s a cat hiding in my room or not. Seriously. I’ll have my door shut for hours, and he mysteriously appears.

I’m going to start posting the videos on the blog. Actually, I’ve already started. So, come back later in the day and check it out here, unless you’re a subscriber to the YouTube channel, which you should be.

There will also be a YouTube widget/plugin on the sidebar of the site (like there is now for my Twitter, Facebook, etc.). I haven’t been able to figure it out so I have made that Karen’s assignment. Karen, much like copy editor Frank, is now on Team Claytoonz. That means she works for free. Karen wants to make some changes to this website and the YouTube plugin is her first task. She can do something about this cat too.

I just hope she doesn’t try to make me think about anything.

Updated creative note: Frank said he’s happy I referred to him and Karen as part of Team Claytoonz instead of my posse, as his BFF would have upchucked. Sometimes,  can’t tell through email if Frank is screwing with me, as having a problem with “posse” while using the term “BFF.”

Today’s video

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

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14 comments

  1. I’ve been trying to come up with some comment, but this latest request by the infantile president just has me gobsmacked. As a writer, it’s rife with metaphors about insecure masculinity and governing impotence, but as a human, it simply re-impugns those who support this nut ball.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. What is the best response if the parade happens? Protest on the day of the parade and I think the right-wing media will play it as we hate the troops. Maybe there are peace protests/parades the day after. If it is like the women’s march, it could be huge.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. “French President Emmanuel Macron made things even worse by inviting Trump to his nation’s Bastille Day Parade. ”

    This is part of The Vile International Conspiracy to induce 45* to continue to do stupider and stupider things so that even 45*’s most deplorable Deplorables will eventually give up on him. (While I admire the goal, I fear that it ain’t gonna work.) If 45* can’t get the Parade, we can expect weekly Televised Galas at the White House (or more likely Mar-A-Lago) where 45* and Friends are Holding Mysterious Glowing Orbs and Dancing With Swords (kinda catchy, might make a good Movie Title).

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “Maybe, instead of firing missiles at each other, Kim and the dotard can just have competing parades.”

    Appropriately, this Competition will be introduced at the upcoming Winter Olympics in South Korea.

    In fact, I hear that the IOC is considering making this the First New Competition to be held at BOTH the Winter AND Summer Games.

    Like

  5. Congratulations Clay,
    Whether or not you meant to, you have managed to portray the Goose-Stepping Troops as Radio City Music Hall Rockettes (which 45* is also known to have a Chubby for).
    I guess this was an unintended consequence, because if you had meant to do it, you would have had them linking arms (limbs, not rifles).

    Like

  6. “Senator Tammy Duckworth, a combat veteran who lost both of her legs in Iraq, called Trump “Cadet Bone Spurs” after he accused Democrats of being un-American and traitors for not clapping for him.”

    To which 45* will tweet:
    “Only Losers get their legs blown off. I prefer my War Heroes to be in One Piece.”

    Like

  7. Yeah, teh just deserts’ “short cuts” of cutting short her devotion to her Uniform Code’s directive of refusal to illegal orders in Utterly ILLEGAL Wars of US’ AGGRE$$ION !

    STFU on the Donald’s avoidance of teh US Illegal Viet Nam War 0f AGGRE$$ION, however he avoided it !

    Like

  8. Man. Those people who told you about copyrighted music being an issue sound like jerks! 😉 😛

    I much prefer your original music! It got stuck in my head, which was kinda weird since I only heard it this one time. LOL

    Liked by 1 person

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