The Best People


cjones01072018

Fire and Fury is the tale of a narcissistic, incompetent, overrated, selfish, self-important human being who thought he was the most privileged and important man in the world before he became the most privileged and important man in the world.

It is also a story of how paid sycophants, who shill daily on the virtues of a moron, really feel about said moron.

I’m on the ninth chapter of Fire and Fury. My review so far is, you don’t have to buy it, even though Trump not wanting you to read it really makes it tempting. The White House has sent cease-and-desist letters to the author, publisher, and even Steve Bannon. In Bannon’s case, they’re claiming he’s lying and violating a non-disclosure agreement. You’re gonna have to figure out the logic for yourself how someone is revealing confidential information with lies.

Sure, all the cool people are reading it and a hard copy is harder to find than a brand-new Harry Potter book. But there’s nothing in it you really don’t already know.

It does provide juicy quotes and revelations, like Steve Bannon’s opinion that Donald Trump Jr. committed treason, but we already knew Don Jr. committed treason.

Maybe we didn’t know Trump watches three TVs at once in his room and lies in bed with cheeseburgers, but we knew the guy watched a lot of TV and eats cheeseburgers.

While we didn’t know Melania has a separate room from Trump, we already knew she doesn’t like him. Who blames her? She avoided moving to Washington for the first six months of the Trump administration. Sure, she didn’t want to change her son’s school, which Donald is not involved with, but all that was very convenient for a “trophy wife” who doesn’t really like being around her husband, rarely knows his location and quite frankly couldn’t care less. When someone like that is out of the house and leaving you alone, you just enjoy it and don’t ask questions. Who is shocked that the third wife of a billionaire who has bragged about cheating on her is really only in it for the money, and doesn’t actually like him? We only have to see Trump on TV and watch our nation get discarded like a Happy Meal container. She has to actually live with him.

While it might be surprising that Trump wanted a lock on his door, there’s no mention of access to Melania’s room, which has probably been allowed a lock along with a stack of furniture barricading the entrance. There’s also no mention if they’ve secretly replaced his Viagra with purple pills shaped like Bam-Bam. But, then again, I’m only on the ninth chapter.

Trump doesn’t know details. This also is not a real revelation after seeing the guy on the campaign trail for nearly two years without once ever discussing a policy detail. It’s also not surprising that the man who told us Uranium is nuclear has a fleeting attention span.

The book tells us that Trump doesn’t read or even skim, and his staff has to develop ways to present him information and to keep his attention. But we already knew Trump is semi-literate. Sure, the guy can read somewhat, but reading at a third-grade level is probably a detriment when you’re the president of the United States. Real creativity will be explaining the nuclear triad in a Curious George book. Did they even lose him during the “I’m just a bill” cartoon?

We didn’t know Ivanka made fun of her father’s ridiculous comb-over or the specifics she gave on the construction and scalp surgery, but nobody has ever been fooled that his hair is ridiculous and covering something up.

Speaking of Ivanka, who thought you filed your 2018 taxes in 2018, is really out of her depth and unqualified, along with Jared, for a job in the White House?

We already knew the White House is in chaos. What the book provides are details on the chaos. And, we already knew this was an unprepared administration whose only agenda is really Trumpism.

Nation first? Patriotism first? Republican Party first? Family first? No, no, no and no. The only agenda for Donald Trump is the promotion of Donald Trump. The presidency is just another division of Trump Enterprises, except this one has the inconvenience of requiring actual work and professionalism, which no one has executed yet.

Trumpism is about feeding Trump’s ego, making him believe he’s the most liked person on the planet and using the government to make money for Trump and to serve his interests, like keeping him out of prison.

Of course, all the Trump people are trying to destroy the book and author’s credibility. It’s hard to say this is just the product of a creative imagination as there’s nothing creative about the insults. “Idiot” is used by nearly every staffer. They’re desperately in need for some Scottish creativity with their insults. There’s not even one “cocksplat” in here.

They say the book is tabloid fodder. They deny quotes or claim they’re out of context or inaccurate. But nobody has validated the overall theme of the book that Trump is a moron more than Trump himself.

Trump’s tweet that he never granted access to the author, Michael Wolff, is the perfect illustration of the president’s stupidity. He never approved of Wolff’s access but failed to notice the guy with a blue White House pass sitting on the couch outside his office for over year. While Trump World believed Wolff was writing a pro-Trump book, the man who claims he’s the best negotiator and will not be taken advantage of by Kim Jong Un, Xi Jinping, or Vladimir Putin, got played by a “tabloid” author.

This is the first presidential administration in American history that had to send surrogates out to tell us the president isn’t stupid, insane, incompetent, and that he can read.

Like I said, knowing Donald Trump is a moron and is incompetent for the job isn’t a revelation to anyone. Of course his critics have known it but so does his staff, his family, his supporters in Congress, your dog, and yes, even the sycophants. The larger issue here is why do so many continue to support him?

Donald Trump has violated and continues every principle of a decent human being. The best quote in Fire and Fury is, “Trump is less a person than a collection of terrible traits.” We can pretend you had the best intentions and honestly wanted to make American great again when you voted for the guy trashing veterans, Gold Star families, women, minorities, and the handicapped. But, wasn’t your belief in the guy squandered on day one when he sent Sean Spicer out to lie to the American public? And if it wasn’t, then why not when he and defended Nazis and endorsed pedophiles?

The only way your principles are not compromised in supporting Donald Trump is if you are a Nazi or a pedophile.

Every Republican in Congress ignoring the election hacking by Russia, and running interference for Trump should go down with him when he’s finally charged with obstruction of justice. What have these people sold their dignity for? Trumpism?

You can be a conservative without supporting Donald Trump unless you believe your politics can’t work without the star power of a racist narcissist with shit for brains.

Trump being an idiot, moron, or a fucking fool is not a revelation. What’s truly a surprise is how stupid you are.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

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15 comments

  1. I don’t think it’s too harsh at all. Maybe it didn’t go far enough.
    When millions are dead because this moron throws a Twitter tantrum and starts a nuclear holocaust then how far is too far?

    Liked by 1 person

      1. canidlover, it means that he’s good at producing what you muck out of stables.

        Clay, great cartoon. Even if they accepted a job with the orange cocksplat, they have some discernment.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Also makes Trump quite easy to manipulate, for those willing to debase themselves … `Trumpism is about feeding Trump’s ego, making him believe he’s the most liked person on the planet and using the government to make money for Trump and to serve his interests, like keeping him out of prison.`

    Liked by 2 people

  3. So y’all rather have the one before, who gave everything away and help the terrorist, gave money and help to the ones that want us dead. Know if the democratic and the liberals would stop paying people to make this country look bad and selling guns to people they know are trying to hurt us. I believe with all heart they are the ones behind all these shootings to keep us scared of guys and the government in now. If you stop yelling about how he is not this and that and just try to work together, you may see how this country is turning around. Democratic and liberals are complaining about how we need to come together, but y’all yelling more hate and fear more now than there has ever been in this country, like a 2 year old that can’t get their way. I see every day with the teenager and young adults, they want the money, but don’t want have to work for or be told they can’t do it that way. This life is hard enough without the things going today, just stop and look at yourself and see if you are helping or hurting things

    Like

    1. So y’all rather have the one before, who gave everything away and help the terrorist, gave money and help to the ones that want us dead. Know if the democratic and the liberals would stop paying people to make this country look bad and selling guns to people they know are trying to hurt us. I believe with all heart they are the ones behind all these shootings to keep us scared of guys and the government in now.

      Excellent parody, Mr. Brooks, but you can’t fool me!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. So y’all rather have the one before, who gave everything away and help the terrorist, gave money and help to the ones that want us dead.

      I’d rather have the one responsible for the team that caught Bin Laden than the one who made a $100 billion arms deal with a country that allegedly committed war crimes.

      I’d rather have anyone who didn’t make up illegal decrees that made people think an entire religion was “evil” or its members were all terrorists. I’d rather have someone who knew their words could drive people on the fence to a side that claims we’re anti-Muslim.

      I’d rather have someone who understood the Constitution, our system of checks & balances, & how to play well with others, not just the ones who grovel at his feet for scraps of compliments he’ll refute later.

      So, yeah, I’d rather have anyone else. He makes us look bad to the entire world – including our own country.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Scottish insults are quite good. But, I’m still preferential to Shakespearean insults –

    “Away, you three-inch fool!”
    “His wit’s as thick as a Tewkesbury mustard.”
    “I’d beat thee, but I would infect my hands.”
    “More of your conversation would infect my brain.”
    “The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes.”
    “There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune.”

    These two seem particularly aimed at Mr. Trump –

    “That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?”

    “Thine face is not worth sunburning.”

    Liked by 2 people

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