Kelly Gets Smelly


Normally, I would feel guilty for using the “he knew what he signed up for” line twice in one week. But, the first Trump cartoon I created with that line won’t be published by most of my clients because it has a giant fat ass in it. Plus, it includes a naked butt.

General John Kelly, the White House Chief of Staff is a man who has earned our respect. It has been believed by many that his presence in the White House is good for the nation as it will restrain Trump from unleashing total stupid hell on the rest of us. The same has been believed about Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, Generals H.R. McMaster, and James Mattis.

Kelly lost his son, Second Lt. Robert Kelly in combat in 2012. The general has gone to great lengths to keep his son out of the public limelight and politics, even as he has served in high-profile positions in government. Thursday, Kelly defended Trump’s call to a Gold Star widow, and he gave a description of what happens to the remains of those killed in combat, and how the grieving families back home are notified. The description was stark, somber, and delivered with a heavy heart. It was one that should be listened to with great respect and appreciation. Then, Kelly lost his shit.

Rex Tillerson refused to answer if he called Trump a “moron.” He didn’t want to play the ridiculous games of Washington or dignify the rumors. Excuse me, Rex, but you work for Donald Trump. Your part of an administration that doesn’t have Jack shit on dignity, and Jack left town. Rex has been neutered by Trump and his credibility was sold with his soul when he signed on with Donald Trump.

H.R. McMaster lost his credibility when he assured us that Donald Trump did not give classified information, provided by an ally, to the Russian ambassador and foreign minister. Then, Trump told us that’s exactly what he did. These generals and titans of business have reduced themselves to the respectability of Sean Spicer, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Kellyanne Conway, and Anthony Scaramucci.

Representative Frederica Wilson claims Trump told the war widow that her husband “knew what he signed up for.” Her account has been backed up by the widow and his family. Trump called her a liar and Kelly did the same thing…as he verified Wilson’s account of what was said. Trump tweeted this morning, “The Fake News is going crazy with wacky Congresswoman Wilson(D), who was SECRETLY on a very personal call, and gave a total lie on content!” Sucking at comprehension as most conservatives do, Trump missed the fact that Kelly actually verified the account given by “wacky” Congresswoman Wilson.

Kelly said, “It stuns me that a member of Congress would have listened in on that conversation — absolutely stuns me.” Yes, it stuns Kelly that someone would listen in on a conversation he listened in on. Am I the only one catching this shit?

Kelly said he was so upset by the politicization of war deaths that he had to take a walk through Arlington National Cemetery. During his walk, did the General contemplate how Trump was the first one to politicize war deaths when he used them to create a contest between himself and President Obama? Did he ponder how Trump was the first one to bring his son into this issue? Did he speculate why Trump would drop a lie that Obama, Bush, or Clinton had never called Gold Star families? Did he think, even for a second, just how utterly stupid and ridiculous it was for Trump to conduct a condolence contest like it’s another episode of The Apprentice? Perhaps, in the back of Kelly’s memory are the instances where Trump said he doesn’t “like people who get captured,” or that they’re “only war heroes because they’re captured,” or the time he feuded with a Gold Star family.  Did any of those events “stun” him?

Kelly didn’t stop his criticism of Ms. Wilson there. He noted that during an emotional 2015 ceremony, Wilson had crassly claimed political credit for getting funding for an F.B.I. building in Miami that was named for fallen agents.

He said, “and we were stunned — stunned that she’d done it. Even for someone that is that empty a barrel, we were stunned.” Apparently, a lot “stuns” Kelly except for Trumpfuckery.

Ms. Wilson has accused Kelly of lying about this occasion and said it’s impossible for her to take credit for the funding of the building since the funding was passed by Congress before she was elected. She has taken and been given credit, for naming the building. Kelly was also off on the amount of funding, but that’s probably not a big deal. What may be a big deal is that many people find the term “empty barrel” racist. It’s new to me, so I can’t say. I Googled it, but every description I found only seemed to describe people who support Donald Trump.

Kelly can be taken seriously when he speaks for the military and about Gold Star families, as he is a member of those families. But, when it comes to defending Trump, Kelly, like Tillerson and H.R. McMaster (and soon, Mattis), is losing all dignity and credibility.

But, hey. He knew what he signed up for.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.


  1. Clay, I agree with everything in the column and it’s a good cartoon, but can you lay off drawing naked Trump for a while? I’m running out of eye bleach. (Those at home, do NOT try it with regular bleach.)

    Liked by 3 people

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