Secret Service Slackers


cjones03222017

The Trump White House operates with the judgement and ethics that’s usually only seen in used-car dealerships and trial lawyers who also work as locksmiths.

Everyone knew General Michael Flynn had traded in his once-respected military reputation to be a partisan joke for Donald Trump. It’s not often you see a United States general leading “lock her up” chants at political conventions.

Everyone knew Flynn was lobbying for Turkey. We all knew he sat next to Russian President Vladimir Putin at a dinner. It was public knowledge he accepted money from Russia to give a speech in Moscow, which probably ran afoul of the Constitution’s Emoluments Clause (a provision that prohibits federal office holders from accepting financial benefits from a foreign government. “Retired regular military officers are also subject to the Emoluments Clause because they are subject to recall, and, therefore, hold an ‘Office of Profit or Trust’ under the Emoluments Clause,” a 2013 Department of Defense white paper reads).

It was also recently revealed that Flynn was paid  $11,250 from a Russian cargo airline company and a Russia-based cyber security firm for giving speeches in the United States.

Despite all this the White House transition team, led by vice-president Mike Pence, approved Flynn to serve as national security adviser. This proves one of two things: Either the transition team was very sloppy with vetting or, they just didn’t give a rat’s patootie (I cursed enough in the blog for the Sean Spicer cartoon I published Saturday morning).

Between the election and Trump’s inauguration Flynn met with the Russian ambassador at Trump Tower and exchanged phone calls and text messages, which means they were in cahoots with rigging the election or engaging in a teenage love affair (wherefore art thou, Kislyak?”). He later lied about the conversations and remained on the job for two weeks after the lie. That also proves that the Trump administration really doesn’t care about ethics or inappropriate contacts with the Russian government. Though they did fire the acting attorney general who warned them of Flynn’s heavy petting with the Russians.

Flynn set a dubious record for shortest tenure ever for a national security adviser, serving only 24 days. Your father has probably gone longer without changing his underwear. Mine has.

Speaking of foreign agents, do you remember Monica Crowley? She was the “journalist” set to become the spokesperson for the National Security Council until reports revealed multiple instances of plagiarism in her Ph.D. dissertation, her new book and newspaper columns. She claimed all those accusations were debunked after she looked up the word “debunked” in a George Will column.

But ya’ know, saying something is debunked isn’t exactly the same as it actually being debunked. You have to actually have proof, which Crowley doesn’t have. Anyway, she’s now registered as a foreign agent for a Ukrainian oligarch. What is it with Trump people and oligarchs? You never even heard that word in the news until Trump was elected. At some point Breitbart is going to need an Oligarch section, much like they currently have a “black crime” section.

Right now the Secret Service is in a bit of hot water. No, not for plagiarism or extended lengths of time without changing their underwear. An intruder on the White House grounds remained on the property for 16 minutes before the service apprehended him. They’ve also recently lost a laptop with details of Trump Tower. One agent was recently removed for a Facebook post where she said she refused to take a bullet for Trump. Let’s not forget that guy who got to pose for a photo at Mar-a-Lago with the nuclear football.

I’m kinda expecting an agent to leave the front door open to the White House while loudly exclaiming he’s going on break for five minutes.

Most people don’t like Trump but we don’t want any harm to come to the guy. If you think his people are difficult to live with now wait until 45 is a martyr. Also, are we really sure Pence is any better? In all seriousness, I don’t ever wish harm on anyone. Let’s just impeach the guy and let him live the rest of his life rich, privileged, and bitching about how he’s not treated fairly.

White House intruders need to be taken seriously and removed quickly. Whether it’s the wack jobs hearing voices in their heads or the ones appointed by Donald Trump. You know, like family members and Nazis.

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