Michael Flynn

Scenes From A Russian Restaurant


cjones04162017

I suppose you can argue that one person with a connection to Russian spies is not indicative of the practices of a campaign. OK, two is a coincidence. Oh, look, there’s another coincidence…and another…and, oh c’mon!!!

What is it with Trump and Russia? He can’t criticize Putin at all. Even yesterday when he said our relations with Russia are at an “all-time low,” yet he couldn’t say anything negative about Putin. He’s bashing Bashar al-Assad all day long for using chemical weapons. He wonders if the Russians are complicit but yet…no harsh words for Putin.

Have you noticed that Trump changes his tune on people after he meets them? He’ll slander them for months. Wage a campaign against them. Then he meets them and talks about how awesome they are. From Obama to Xi Jinping, he hates them and then he loves them. He’s going to go full orgasmic after he meets Putin. Basically, the guy is an ass kisser. By the way, Trump met the NATO guy yesterday and now NATO is not “obsolete” anymore. Also, NATO will now start fighting terrorism, though they’ve been doing that since at least 2001…but Trump, you know. History didn’t begin until he was sworn in as president.

Steve Bannon loves Russia (which many in the Breitbart, alt-right spectrum view as the last bastion of full-fledged whiteness, and in their defense, White Russians are tasty). Bannon was against bombing Syria because it might upset the Russians.

Then you have the people who are actually hanging out with the Russians.

Former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort lobbied for Russian puppets in the Ukraine. Documents showed payments to Manafort from dirty Ukranians to exceed $12 million in cash which he claims he never received, yet evidence turned up of him moving more than $2 million to Washington lobbying firms. Manafort has NOW registered as a foreign lobbyist despite lobbying for Ukraine, Pakistan, Nigeria, Kenya, Equatorial Guinea, Dominican Republic, a Lebanese arms-dealer, and Ferdinand Marcos. Fortunately for him, no Somali pirates have turned up on the list yet.

Today Manafort is under investigation by the CIA, FBI, NSA, Director of National Intelligence, and the financial crimes unit of the Treasury Department. I’m pretty sure he’s wanted for questioning by the Girl Scouts for putting his Tagalongs money into a Cyprus bank, and still owes Blockbuster for rewinding fees.

Of course the Trump campaign says Manafort wasn’t that involved with the campaign despite him being the campaign manager for five months. Paul who?

Jared Kushner, Trump’s son-in-law, senior adviser, and currently leading the White House Office of American Innovation (a branch of the Department of Making America Great Again and NOT an offshoot of the Department of Humping The Boss’ Daughter as many have speculated), has also hung out with Russians. He conveniently forgot about Russian schmoozing when he filled out forms for the nation’s top security clearance (that lets him in on all the juicy secrets like Roswell, JFK, Colonel’s secret recipe, etc.). Jared met with the Russian ambassador, Sergey Kislyak, which is forgetful as everyone else seems to forget they met him, and the head of a Russian state-owned bank. Oops! I don’t forget going to an ATM so I’m pretty sure I’d recall a Russian bank.

We can’t forget Michael Flynn, the shortest-tenured national security adviser in our nation’s history. He’s another guy who forgot he met with the Russian ambassador, Sergey Kislyak. That Kislyak guy must be the most boring person on the planet. Like Manafort, Flynn has NOW registered as a foreign agent, despite working for Turkey before he joined the Trump campaign.

Jeff Sessions is now our attorney general. He met with the Russian ambassador, and guess what! He forgot all about it too. It’s Kislyak! It slipped his mind to the point that he failed to mention it during his confirmation hearings in the United States Senate. He actually volunteered that he never met with any Russians during the campaign (Do you like pizza? Yes, I do and I never met with any Russians). Yet, there he was hanging out with Russians. More specifically, that boring ambassador. What’s his name again? Oh yeah. Kislyak!!

This brings us to Carter Page. Trump dropped his name as an adviser and later said “Carter who?” Carter was targeted by Russian spies who are on tape as referring to him as an “idiot,” and then he volunteered to the press that he was that idiot. He forgot he met the Russian ambassador (KISLYAK!!!), and he’s now under investigation by the FBI, CIA, NSA, ODNI, and FinCEN. Basically every agency currently after Manafort. Investigate two Trumpsters and the third one is free. Now it’s been revealed that the FBI successfully obtained a FISA court warrant to monitor Page and his contacts with the Russians. A FISA is really hard to get and this one was renewed at least once. That’s not good for Carter.

Carter was interviewed by Chris Hayes of MSNBC and said that he can’t verify that he met with the Russian ambassador, but if he did it was in Cleveland and it was the only Russian person he hung out with in Cleveland…if it happened. Oh that guy’s going to do so well when he testifies in front of the senate.

The Russians were right about one thing. Carter Page is an idiot.

And in case you’re reading this and you work for the Trump campaign: The names Kislyak! KISLYAK!!! KISLYAK!!! KISLYAK!!! KISLYAK!!! What’s with you, fuckers?

Creative notes: Why are so many Trump people creepy looking? These guys don’t look like presidential advisers. They look like strangers offering kids free candy from a van with tinted-windows or maybe, shit weasels working at a “Holocaust Center”.

My buddy and fellow cartoonist, Sergey Kislyak…I mean, Ed (sorry, it’s stuck in my head now), told me yesterday that I shouldn’t have used any labels in my “lounge lizard” cartoon. He might be right, but I felt I should risk it here.

I really hate labels and I’m using them less and less. The one flaw of editorial cartoons are the labels. Some cartoonists are really lazy, sloppy, and excessive with them but it’s a minus for the entire genre. I debated not using any today but I’m not sure any of these guys have household faces yet.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

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Lock Him Up


cjones04022017

If you’re a political cartoonist then you have to give Trump credit in one area. He hasn’t hired anyone difficult to caricature. Seriously. These are some freaky looking people.

They’re not just freaky looking. They’re all certified creepers. Michael Flynn ranks up there right below Steve Bannon and Trump himself.

During the campaign, while Flynn wasn’t yakking it up with Russians and taking money from them, he was lambasting Hillary Clinton. He joined the chants of “lock her up” at the neo-Republican rally they called a convention. During an interview with MSNBC’s Chuck Todd Flynn made the statement “When you are given immunity, that means you have probably committed a crime.” Now that he’s asking for immunity himself, he probably knows what he’s talking about. I mean, if we use his own description and guidelines, Flynn wouldn’t be asking for immunity unless he’s down, dirty, and traitorous.

Flynn wants immunity before he’s interviewed by the FBI. His lawyer said he wants to avoid “unfair prosecution” and “he has a story to tell.” I think I know how that story goes. It’s a long story. Flynn took money from Russians and then plotted with them thwart an election. OK, so it’s a short story.

Will he get immunity? It depends on what sort of goods he has and who he has them on. The FBI will want a big fish and a former national security adviser is a pretty big one. Flynn will have to have something on someone bigger. Now who in the Trump administration ranks higher than the national security adviser?

There are two things I expect to happen: Donald Trump is going to start shit-tweeting Michael Flynn and someone from the Trump administration will be “locked up.”

Ya’ll freaky right-wingers might want to be a bit more selective with your rally chants in the future.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Secret Service Slackers


cjones03222017

The Trump White House operates with the judgement and ethics that’s usually only seen in used-car dealerships and trial lawyers who also work as locksmiths.

Everyone knew General Michael Flynn had traded in his once-respected military reputation to be a partisan joke for Donald Trump. It’s not often you see a United States general leading “lock her up” chants at political conventions.

Everyone knew Flynn was lobbying for Turkey. We all knew he sat next to Russian President Vladimir Putin at a dinner. It was public knowledge he accepted money from Russia to give a speech in Moscow, which probably ran afoul of the Constitution’s Emoluments Clause (a provision that prohibits federal office holders from accepting financial benefits from a foreign government. “Retired regular military officers are also subject to the Emoluments Clause because they are subject to recall, and, therefore, hold an ‘Office of Profit or Trust’ under the Emoluments Clause,” a 2013 Department of Defense white paper reads).

It was also recently revealed that Flynn was paid  $11,250 from a Russian cargo airline company and a Russia-based cyber security firm for giving speeches in the United States.

Despite all this the White House transition team, led by vice-president Mike Pence, approved Flynn to serve as national security adviser. This proves one of two things: Either the transition team was very sloppy with vetting or, they just didn’t give a rat’s patootie (I cursed enough in the blog for the Sean Spicer cartoon I published Saturday morning).

Between the election and Trump’s inauguration Flynn met with the Russian ambassador at Trump Tower and exchanged phone calls and text messages, which means they were in cahoots with rigging the election or engaging in a teenage love affair (wherefore art thou, Kislyak?”). He later lied about the conversations and remained on the job for two weeks after the lie. That also proves that the Trump administration really doesn’t care about ethics or inappropriate contacts with the Russian government. Though they did fire the acting attorney general who warned them of Flynn’s heavy petting with the Russians.

Flynn set a dubious record for shortest tenure ever for a national security adviser, serving only 24 days. Your father has probably gone longer without changing his underwear. Mine has.

Speaking of foreign agents, do you remember Monica Crowley? She was the “journalist” set to become the spokesperson for the National Security Council until reports revealed multiple instances of plagiarism in her Ph.D. dissertation, her new book and newspaper columns. She claimed all those accusations were debunked after she looked up the word “debunked” in a George Will column.

But ya’ know, saying something is debunked isn’t exactly the same as it actually being debunked. You have to actually have proof, which Crowley doesn’t have. Anyway, she’s now registered as a foreign agent for a Ukrainian oligarch. What is it with Trump people and oligarchs? You never even heard that word in the news until Trump was elected. At some point Breitbart is going to need an Oligarch section, much like they currently have a “black crime” section.

Right now the Secret Service is in a bit of hot water. No, not for plagiarism or extended lengths of time without changing their underwear. An intruder on the White House grounds remained on the property for 16 minutes before the service apprehended him. They’ve also recently lost a laptop with details of Trump Tower. One agent was recently removed for a Facebook post where she said she refused to take a bullet for Trump. Let’s not forget that guy who got to pose for a photo at Mar-a-Lago with the nuclear football.

I’m kinda expecting an agent to leave the front door open to the White House while loudly exclaiming he’s going on break for five minutes.

Most people don’t like Trump but we don’t want any harm to come to the guy. If you think his people are difficult to live with now wait until 45 is a martyr. Also, are we really sure Pence is any better? In all seriousness, I don’t ever wish harm on anyone. Let’s just impeach the guy and let him live the rest of his life rich, privileged, and bitching about how he’s not treated fairly.

White House intruders need to be taken seriously and removed quickly. Whether it’s the wack jobs hearing voices in their heads or the ones appointed by Donald Trump. You know, like family members and Nazis.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Sin Like Flynn


cjones02162017

What did the president know and when did he know it?

That was an often repeated question during the Watergate crisis. With the resignation of national security adviser Michael Flynn, that is one of many questions being asked, except by most Republicans.

Flynn talked to the Russian ambassador during the transition. He claimed he never talked about foreign policy or sanctions being placed upon Russia by the Obama administration. Vice President Mike Pence went on the airwaves to repeat that claim. It was a lie.

Flynn changed his story from did not to I don’t know. As it turns out he not only talked to Russia during the transition, he talked to government officials during the campaign. Other members of Trump’s campaign did the same. One of the many questions is “who were those people?”

Two weeks ago then-acting Attorney General Sally Yates told the White House what Flynn did, and that he was a threat to be blackmailed by Russia. Donald Trump fired her for refusing to defend his Muslim ban. He fired one person for doing her job and kept the guy on staff who committed treason and was posing a threat, not just to the administration, but to the nation.

After The Washington Post reported the story that the FBI and the Justice Department were on to Flynn, and had questioned him, Trump claimed he didn’t know the report even existed. His claim was about 16 hours after the Post story was published. It’s unclear if he was talking about the Post story or the report from the FBI. I think he was lying about both. It’s weird the guy believes in things that doesn’t exist but denies stuff that’s actually happening.

Kellyanne Conway went on TV Monday to say Michael Flynn had Trump’s confidence. A few hours later Flynn resigned. Not only has Kellyanne lost all confidence with the press, but apparently also with the White House. She’s not even in the loop anymore but she can probably tell you how much Ivanka Trump’s bangles cost.

Flynn resigned and the reasoning is that he lost Trump’s confidence. When did he lose the confidence? Trump knew he lied weeks ago. Trump didn’t fire, or make him resign, until The Washington Post reported on his conversations with Russia. The Trump administration doesn’t have a problem with him undermining government policy. Their “official” problem is that he lied to Mike Pence. Reportedly Trump knew weeks ago that he lied and didn’t inform Pence that he had defended a lie. There’s a whole bunch of people Pence should be pissed with if that sort of stuff is important to him.

The bigger questions here concern Trump himself, his ties to Russia, and whether or not his team coordinated with Putin’s government to sabotage the Clinton campaign.

Trump claimed he loved Wikileaks. He asked Putin to hack and release information on Clinton. The man is incapable of criticizing Putin and even defends him and puts him on an equal level with the U.S. government. To distract for Russia’s involvement in our election Trump has created the lie of massive voter fraud (even though he won).

Trump’s biggest complaint publicly is that there were leaks about Flynn’s chit chat with the Russians. Trump, the man who loves Wikileaks and asks foreign governments to release private information.

Is it believable that the incoming national security adviser talked to Russia about sanctions without the president elect’s knowledge? Is it believable they talked during the campaign without Trump in on it, or even without his direction?

Two Republicans want this investigated. They’re Lindsey Graham and John McCain. Others, like Jason Chaffetz, who chairs the House Oversight Committee, says the problem will work itself out. Others in Congress say if it’s investigated, then it should be private, not held publicly multiple times like all those Benghazi investigations.

Donald Trump told us he’d hire the best for his administration. General Michael Flynn was not the best. He was incapable of doing his job. Most career military men don’t become partisans. Flynn promoted the lie about Clinton being involved in a child-sex-slave scheme at a pizza parlor. Flynn led “lock her up” chants at the GOP convention and said he’d be in prison if he did a tenth of what Hillary Clinton had done.

Fortunately for Flynn, he did a lot more than a tenth so maybe he won’t go to prison for that.

Most national security advisers last for only two years. Flynn only lasted 21 days. Who’s next to go from the Trump administration? How long will the Trump presidency last? This is an administration of dishonesty, lies, ineptness, clumsiness, stupidity, and chaos.

Creative notes: Having heterosexuals in bed together as a metaphor for being in cahoots might be one of those cliches I should retire, like things going over cliffs, sinking ships, mazes, air balloons, Pinocchios, and Santa’s lap. But I thought it might be a twist throwing in all the individuals who have ties to Russia. Plus, I had a lot of fun with all the creepy details. What can I say? I’m a very disturbed person.

I enjoyed all these caricatures but I especially enjoyed drawing Flynn. I hope there are multiple investigations so I can keep drawing the guy.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

A Whiter White House


cjones11182016

After appointing white nationalist Steve Bannon as his chief strategist Donald Trump has decided to name Islamophobe Lt. General Michael Flynn as his foreign policy adviser.

You would think a guy with the temperament of Donald Trump would seek a calmer, smoother individual for this position, but no. He’s selected a guy who led chants of “lock her up” at the Republican National Convention. Flynn was referring to Hillary Clinton risking the exposure of classified material supposedly stored on her private server, despite the fact that he himself revealed sensitive U.S. intelligence to Pakistan. He’s also a big fan of Russia and Vladimir Putin having dined with him after giving a paid speech. Apparently we can’t have too many racists or people paid by Russians in the White House.

Flynn is also a lobbyist for Turkey. He’s even called for a Turkish cleric to be returned to that nation who their president blames for their recent coup attempt. Never mind seeking evidence or the fact Turkey is clamping down on dissidents, journalists, and anyone else considered a threat.

Flynn does not distinguish Islamic terrorists from followers of the religion in general. He’s called for a ban of Muslim immigrants and likes to retweet anti-Semitic material. Last July he retweeted a message of “Not anymore, Jews. Not anymore,” for which he later apologized. How do you mistakenly retweet that? He’s also praised and plugged a book for a man who claimed “date rape does not exist.”

He also fell for a fake news story (that stuff is really popular with Republicans) that the New York Police Department was “blowing the whistle” on Hillary Clinton for new emails, money laundering, sex crimes with children, pay to play, and perjury. You’re not surprised when your attic-dwelling uncle with the tin-foil helmet falls for such outlandish headlines, but a general? After listening to Queen he’s now convinced “fat-bottomed girls do make the world go round” and it’s a threat to our nation. I made that last one up. Fat-bottomed girls are not a threat to our nation.

David Duke lost in his bid to become Louisiana’s next U.S. senator and Trump’s not done filling his cabinet. The wizard’s available.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!