Michael Flynn

Vax That Salad


Cjones09252021

I had a stop-the-presses moment last night.

Like I do every day, I had jotted down potential topics to cartoon about. Some of the topics are heavy subjects, like immigration, the debt ceiling, Texas abortion, missing indigenous people and Gabby Petito, Haiti, Trump’s lawsuits, etc, etc. As I said before, I like to have a definite idea (not just a concept) for my next cartoon before going to bed. I will toss and turn all night and have nightmares of crosshatching if I don’t. Seriously, I have dreams of crosshatching.

Around 11:00 P.M, I heard the news about disgraced scumbag General and former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn. This guy is a piece of work. But, my gears went into motion for a Flynn cartoon. I wrote down three ideas and was giggling with each of them. I cracked open a Blue Moon while amusing myself and kept writing, self-editing, more writing, another Blue Moon, and then at 2:00 A.M, I said to myself, “Oh my god, it’s 2:00 A.M.” I knew I had my idea and I should get some sleep. The debt ceiling can wait. Michael Flynn said something stupid.

Flynn was forced into retirement from the military and there are rumors this is because he’s a raving lunatic. President Obama knew Flynn was a liar and had him removed from his position as Assistant Director of National Intelligence. During Flynn’s tenure, he became the first official from the United States invited into the Russian Military Intelligence headquarters in Moscow, which was seriously frowned upon by our government. He attempted a second visit which was thwarted. Then, he tried to get Russian intelligence officials inside the headquarters for the Central Intelligence Agency, which was knocked down by James Clapper, the Director of National Intelligence. There was concern, and it was reported by other officials that Flynn may have been compromised by the Russians. Ya’ think?

After he was fired, he was paid to speak at a Moscow event where he shared a table with Vladimir Putin. He later argued that Russia didn’t pay him. They paid his agent who then paid him. It’s that kind of logic that’ll get you a high-ranking position with the Trump administration…that and being compromised by the Russians.

President Obama advised Donald Trump NOT to hire Michael Flynn, probably because he’s compromised by the Russians. So naturally, Trump hired Michael Flynn as his National Security Adviser, and once again, proving President Obama is much smarter than he is. Flynn didn’t last a month as he had to be fired, supposedly for lying to the vice-president (sic) over his communications with…take a guess…Russians.

Later, he struck a plea-bargain admitting guilt in lying to the FBI which he later recanted probably because he knew he’d get a Trump pardon. Trump’s Justice Department tried to drop the case that Robert Mueller has already sent to the courts. Later, Donald Trump pardoned Flynn.

Then, Flynn took an oath pledging loyalty to Qanon which supersedes the oath he took swearing loyalty and to protect the United States and Constitution. In the aftermath of Trump losing the election, Flynn, and the attorney they shared, conspiracy theorist Sidney Powell, met with Trump in the Oval Office and suggested he suspend the Constitution, silence the press (people like me), declare martial law, and use the military to conduct a new election. Remember, this fucker took an oath to defend our nation and the Constitution and he’s in the Oval freaking Office, after being compromised by Russians and lying to the FBI, advocating the president (sic) suspend the Constitution and overthrow an election with a military coup. Go to Hell, Michael Flynn.

After Trump left the White House, because he lost the election to President Biden by seven million votes, Flynn voiced support for a “Myanmar-style coup” to restore Trump to power. Then, he got banned from Twitter for life.

Like all Trump supporters, and Trump himself, Michael Flynn was never about loyalty to the United States, patriotism, democracy, the Constitution, or free elections. Remember when we all shared those same principles, no matter our party affiliation? Turns out during all those years, Republicans were lying. Reinstating, or putting anybody in the White House without winning an election is un-American (except you, Gerald Ford, but that was a technicality). Even spreading the Big Lie is un-American.

That was just a brief summary of the lunacy, criminality, and sedition of Michael Flynn. There’s much more. Oh, so much more. There’s a lot about his denial and theories of the coronavirus and vaccines. He’s claimed in the past that the coronavirus is a hoax, was used to destroy Trump and to control us, and that you need a vaccine passport to travel. Now, he should know that’s a lie because he’s been traveling all over the country to speak at lunatic conventions about how you need a vaccine passport to travel. And last night, he supported a brand new conspiracy theory that the vaccine is being hidden in food, specifically salad dressing.

As a reader of mine already pointed out on the posting of this cartoon on Facebook, that dressing would Russian.

Appearing on some internet conspiracy show, Flynn said, “Somebody sent me a thing this morning where they’re talking about putting the vaccine into salad dressing. Or salads. Have you seen this? I mean it’s—and I’m thinking to myself, this is the Bizarro World, right? This is definitely the Bizarro World. … These people are seriously thinking about how to impose their will on us in our society, and it has to stop.” Really, Michael? A “thing?” I got a thing for ya’, you lying disgusting betraying traitor.

What is bizarre is Flynn was actually our National Security Adviser for 24 days. No, not the 24-days part.

There is a study by the University of California researching how vaccines could be grown in food, like plants (in case you’re a Republican, plants are what most salads consist of), so people could ingest their vaccines instead of being jabbed. But this is for the future, not now, and not to trick people. It probably won’t even be for COVID because hopefully, and if idiots like Flynn could stop getting in the way of it, COVID won’t exist anymore by the time we get edible vax.

There are people researching time travel and I know for a fact that doesn’t exist yet because if it did, Donald Trump never would have been president and we’d all be saying, “Michael Flynn who?”. Researching something doesn’t mean we have it. Wilbur and Orville had to research flight before they could actually fly. They didn’t just suddenly put a pair of wings on a bicycle and go, “Wheeee!”

I also know the government isn’t hiding vaccines to the coronavirus in salads. How do I know this? Because if the deep-state government people were hiding the vaccine to trick Trump cultists and Republicans, they wouldn’t be hiding it in salads. That wouldn’t help us stop the virus at all.

How do you trick a dog to eat a pill? You wrap the pill in cheese or peanut butter. You don’t put the pill inside cauliflower. You want the dog to eat it, not just look at with a quizzical expression. And if you give a dog cauliflower, he might run away. I would.

So Michael Flynn is trying to suggest the vaccine is hidden in a patch of arugula? Why didn’t he just claim it’s in sushi? We’d never get the vaccine inside them if they have to learn how to use chopsticks. Fork that!

But, Republicans aren’t eating a lot of vegetables. Look at Trump. He’s never eaten a salad in his life. He thinks the five food groups are, KFC, Big Macs, ketchup, hot dogs, and Arby’s. George H.W. Bush took an official presidential position against broccoli. The entire Republican Party freaked out when First Lady Michelle Obama tried to introduce more salads to America’s schoolchildren. No, if are going to hide the vaccine to trick Republicans, which will be easier than getting dogs to eat cheese, we’ll hide it in some shit they’ll actually eat.

Let’s start with Chick-fil-a. If nothing else, we can scare them from eating there and helping Chick-fil-a finance homophobic hate groups.

Here’s the plan, folks: We hide the vaccine in food the Chick-fil-a menu. We put that shit in their nuggets, their chicken sandwiches, their waffle fries. We’ll even put it in the lemonade. Chick-fil-a has salads but like the ones at McDonalds, I’m sure they’re just for show. Who the fuck goes to McDonalds to eat a salad?

Now, on Sundays, since Chick-fil-a is closed because they’re religious zealots, we’ll hide the vax in food at Cracker Barrel and Cheesecake Factory. Although we’re not actually doing any of this, let’s just say we are…and spread the word.

We, here at Deep-State Incorporated, in conjunction with our reptilian people baby-eating brethren, by praying to Satan, have also created an inhalable vaccine. We’re putting that in MyPillows.

Spread the word.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

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Democracy Death Wish


Cjones06102021

During Donald Trump’s speech to fellow fucknuts in North Carolina over the weekend, he claimed he wasn’t the one trying to destroy democracy…he’s the one trying to save it. During this same speech, he attacked our last democratically-held election as the “crime of the century.” That’s like saying you hate fried chicken while ordering a bunch of wings. You do understand wings are part of the chicken…right? Do you understand elections are a part of democracy?

Trump is a false prophet. Do you expect the anti-Christ to show up dissing Jesus? No. That guy’s going to arrive and tell us he loves God and church-bake-sale potato salad more than anyone and will probably say something about two Corinthians. It’s always the people who say they are the most, who really aren’t. It’s like those guys who say, “I’m not a racist, but…”

North Korea is the DPRK, which stands for Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea, even though there’s nothing democratic about that dictatorship. On a side note: Next time someone goes on about “socialist” being in the name of the National Socialist German Workers’ Party, the Nazis, ask that dumbass if Kim Jong Un is a Republican because “republic” is in the DPRK’s name.

Donald Trump is not in favor of democracy. He wants to be a fascist dictator like his buddies, Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un. He’s telling friends he’s going to be “reinstated” as president, which is something we don’t do. Name one time we’ve ever done that. Explain how it’s done. Point out where it’s covered in the Constitution.

Trump refused to concede the election because fascists don’t concede elections. Name one fascist who’s ever said, “Damn, I lost. OK. I’m going home,” or, “You don’t have Nixon to kick around any more.” Trump is continuing the Big Lie that he won, even though he lost by over seven million votes. He weaponized the presidency and sent terrorists to attack our government to stop the certification of his opponent’s victory.

Just like they’re not really in favor of democracy even thought they claim they are, they’re not constitutionalists either. Sure, they love to spout off half a sentence from the Second Amendment, but they ignore the rest, like they ignore the parts of the Constitution about free speech and a free press. They ignore the part about elections. They ignored the part about Congress certifying the election.

George W. Bush said he looked into Putin’s eye and “saw his soul.” There was a lot to take from that, but the main thing today is that Bush said it over 20 years ago. Vladimir Putin has been controlling Russia for over two decades. That’s not a democratic leader. He’s thrown political opponents into prison (he literally had a pop group thrown into prison for criticizing him. W. could only dream of hard labor for the Dixie Chicks…I’m sorry…The Chicks), had critics murdered, and has changed the nation’s constitution to remain in power. While he has a salary of about $137,000 a year, his worth has been estimated between $70 to 200 billion. He may be the richest man in the world because he considers everything in Russia to belong to him. No wonder Trump has a hard for the guy.

Today, Russians are still conducting cyber attacks into our nation, from gas supplies to our food. Putin will not rest until his puppet is back in power, we have no fuel, and we’re all eating cats.

Mitch McConnell and Kevin McCarthy both initially blamed Trump for the terrorist attack on the Capitol building, but now they’re walking it all back and refusing to allow an investigation into the attack…an attack on democracy.

The MyPillow Guy, he’s advising Donald Trump that he’s going to be reinstated. Fortunately for us, a lot of the democracy haters are former crack heads. And if you have a coupon, that former crack head will give you a second pillow for free after you pay double for the first. I’m NOT making that up.

Michael Flynn, the disgraced general who spent less than a month as Trump’s National Security Advisor and was later pardoned by him, has publicly stated he believes a Myanmar-style coup should happen here. In case you’re a Republican, coups are NOT democratic.

Usually, I’m just trying to be funny with the “in case you’re a Republican” bit. This time, I’m dead serious. In case you’re a Republican, COUPS ARE NOT DEMOCRATIC.

Speaking of treasonous Republicans, they’re seeking to overturn the election in Arizona through fraud. They’re hoping the fraud will catch on to other states that will then overturn their elections…and reinstate Trump. Over 50% of Republicans believe wrongly that Donald Trump won the election and it was stolen by President Biden. A majority of Republicans are in favor or coups, insurrection, and conspiracy theories over democracy. On top of that, Republicans are changing election laws so they can steal power, instead of allowing every eligible voter to add his or her voice.

Republicans love democracy until it works.

Speaking of lunatics, Qanon is a big part of this and these idiots truly believe Donald Trump didn’t just win the election, but that he’ll be reinstated. They keep giving dates for this reinstatement and after those dates pass, they move the goal posts. I keep waiting for them to claim Donald Trump will be reinstated in Schmebuary. When the hell is Schmebuary? It’s a Satanic deep-state secret month that is erased from our memory by Jewish space lasers as soon as it’s over, that has now been exposed to followers of Q. But, Schmebuary is probably some time in the fall or somewhere between January and December. Also in Schmebuary, there are some serious discounts on baby flesh. You pay double for one and you get the second baby for free.

And we have Trump himself who continues to feed these lies to his base (not the discount baby Schmebuary thing…yet. The election lie), furthering division in this nation. He would rather be placed into office than allow democracy to work. Democracy did work and it gave us Joe Biden.

Democracy is under attack and the fuckers above are the main antagonists. Sure, there are co-conspirators like Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity, Rudy Giuliani, Sidney Powell, and your crazy uncle on Facebook. But they’re enablers. Donald Trump is the main villain.

During his speech over the weekend, Donald Trump said our “country is being destroyed, perhaps by people who have no right to destroy it.” Sometimes, these idiots say the quiet parts out loud.

Does Donald Trump believe he has the right to destroy our country? He must because that’s exactly what he’s trying to do…and he’s getting a lot of help. That’s what democracy-hating fascists do.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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General Coup-Coup


Cjones06052021

There are news reports that disgraced general and convicted douche canoe and traitor, Michael Flynn, suggested there should be a coup to restore Donald Trump to power. He did not “suggest” there should be a coup in the United States. He endorsed it and said, “It should happen here.”

Flynn was national security adviser for 22 days. President Obama told Donald Trump not to hire Flynn, so Donald Trump hired Flynn…who had lobbied for foreign nations and been paid by Vladimir Putin for appearances in Russia. Flynn was fired for lying to Mike Pence and later pled guilty to two counts of making false statements and agreed to cooperate…then flipped on his flip and cried to have his guilty plea reversed. Trump’s attorney general, William Barr, tried to get courts to drop what his department pushed for and ultimately, Donald Trump pardoned Flynn.

After the election, Flynn endorsed martial law, suspending the Constitution, and silencing the media to overturn the election. He also pledged an oath to Qanon. Now, he’s on the Russian app Telegram crying that he was misquoted about endorsing a coup. Why is he denying this stuff on Telegram? Because Twitter kicked him off their platform for shit like endorsing coups.

This is NOT the first time Flynn has suggested a coup. When he wanted Trump to overturn the election, that would have been a coup. This time, he was at a Qanon fucknut convention, when an audience member asked him, “I want to know why what happened in Myanmar can’t happen here.” There was a coup in Myanmar.

Flynn replied, “No reason. I mean, it should happen here. No reason.”

Now he’s saying that he said, “No reason it should happen here.” No, fucker. You said. “No reason.” Period. “It should happen here.” That’s like saying “don’t stop” while someone’s touching you in your special place, and later you claim you didn’t like it by saying, “I said, ‘don’t…stop.'”

Congressman and fully-committed Fruit Loop, Screwy Louie Gohmert, was also at the lunatic event and tried to downplay the January 6 insurrection. He defended it by saying the attack on Pearl Harbor and 9/11 were bigger attacks on our democracy. Even if he was correct, that’s not good company. But, those attacks weren’t trying to overturn our government. Take a history lesson, Louie.

One in four Republicans believe in the Qanon theory that Satanic-worshipping lovers of baby back ribs made with real babies are controlling the government and it’s going to take violence to restore the “rightful” leaders of our nation. An opinion poll taken in May says 53% (if in case you’re a Republican, that’s more than half) believe Donald Trump won the election.

Sidney Powell, whose lawyers are using the argument in court that nobody should take her seriously, says there will be a new inauguration, Biden will move out of the White House, and Donald Trump will move back in. Just be glad both men won’t be living in the White House together, which sounds like the premise for a really bad sitcom.

Finally, Donald Trump expects to be reinstated by August. That’s what he’s been telling friends, family, and any squirrels on his golf course who will listen, according to New York Times Washington correspondent, Maggie Haberman.

Donald Trump ordered an attack on our government to overturn the election to reinstall himself to power. Donald Trump weaponized the presidency against his own nation. Instead of apologizing, expressing regret, or even playing dumb, he’s telling friends he’s going to do it again.

While it’s fun to laugh at these goons, we should also be concerned.

Like it or not, Donald Trump is a former president (sic). He has created a cult and his followers obey him and believe anything he says. Proof of this is last January 6. And, the Republican Party is doing everything it can to embrace him. A majority of Republicans, not just racist Qanon maniacs, are willing to destroy democracy for their cult leader.

Republicans don’t love America anymore. It’s all about the cult.

General Flynn should be in prison. Right now, he may be committing new crimes that his previous pardon doesn’t cover. He swore an oath to defend this nation, not attack it with a coup. Donald Trump should be in a prison cell right beside him. It will be safer for this nation to have those two men locked away. They are national security risks.

Republicans would be better off listening to the Cocoa Puffs bird than listening to Trump and his assorted goons. They’re all cuckoo for treason.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Sin Like Flynn


cjones11282020

Since I’m social distancing and hanging by myself today, why not draw a cartoon? Who am I kidding? I was going to draw one anyway. Hell, last Thanksgiving, I was in Washington, D.C. with my then-girlfriend. We had Chinese food in China Town and saw the Capitals play (they won. I bought a cap)…and the next morning while she was having breakfast alone, I was drawing a cartoon before we drove to Colonial Beach to have dinner with her family. It was nice. There was fried oysters.

Is it any wonder I’m single?

A few things about this pardon of Michael Flynn:

By accepting it, Flynn, who had admitted guilt twice before retracting, is admitting guilt.

Donald Trump tried to issue this pardon in a news hole. Whenever a politician wants to do something with little coverage, they do it in the afternoon and it’s best on a Friday. Here, Donald Trump issued a pardon to one of his goons on Thanksgiving eve. If this was last year, he would have done it while I was stomping around China Town. A lot of the press were winding down and preparing for family and turkey yesterday afternoon. By the time Monday gets here, nobody’s going to remember this and there will be some new outrage to be outraged about.

Donald Trump keeps screaming he won the election, “by a lot,” yet he pardoned a goon which is his acceptance he’s going out the door. He’s leaving.

I drew about Trump pardons yesterday, but how many more pardons am I going to draw? Will he pardon George Papadopoulos, despite not knowing him and claiming he was “just a coffee boy?” Some are saying he might pardon Rick Gates, but he cooperated with Robert Mueller’s investigation. I totally expect a pardon of Paul Manafort, who is in prison and refused to cooperate with Mueller. Trump will reward him. Roger Stone, who had his prison sentence commuted, is publicly asking for more. He wants a pardon. Of course, Roger Stone is a low life and has no reservations about appearing guilty. I expect Stone to get his pardon. He’s disgusting which plays into Trump’s wheelhouse.

According to reports, there is a team in the White House studying who to pardon and that team is being led by none other than Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner. Who better to lead a team studying the pardon of Trump goons than a Trump goon? The Biden Justice Department should add the businesses of Jared to their investigations. Perhaps Jared will receive a pardon. His wife, Ivanka, is being investigated. Maybe daddy will pardon her.

Perhaps Donald Trump will pardon Steve Bannon and others involved with the build-the-wall scam. He issued a pardon for conservative conspiracy theorist columnist Dinesh D’Souza, who pled guilty to making illegal campaign donations. He also pardoned a friend of Steve Baby Fishmouth Mnuchin, Wall Street Executive Michael Milken who pled guilty to securities and tax violations, got 98 racketeering charges dismissed, and is still worth over $3 billion.

Alan Dershowitz is representing a couple of lesser-known goons and he’s angling to have them pardoned. He praised Trump’s pardon of Flynn. He’s either rubbing Trump for a few pardons or he’s actually a huge fan of Donald Trump issuing pardons as reward to his associates.

In case you’re a Republican, let me lay it out for you: Anyone pardoning their associates is engaging in corruption. It’s a reward for their silence. Do you see Michael Cohen receiving a pardon?

The only people Donald Trump has pardoned has been goons and corrupt racist mother fuckers like Sheriff Joe Arpaio, celebrity causes, billionaire Wall Street grifters, and his friends. You don’t really see poor people…or non-whites…with unfair prison sentences receiving pardons…unless a Kardashian lobbied for them. Most of the people he pardons are guilty rich assholes…just like him.

I really hope Donald Trump does pardon himself so we can finally have the question answered. Can a president pardon himself? I say no because you can’t be your own judge. But then again, there are three Trump justices on the Supreme Court which is corrupt in itself.

Of course, Donald Trump is corrupt so I expect him to pardon himself.

Donald Trump is the most corrupt president in our nation’s history. He’s stopped working as president since he lost the election. He’s only left the White House to golf. He won’t answer questions from the press. And the only thing he’s done is bitch and pardon his goons. He’s going to be corrupt all the way to January 20.

What I really hope for is that Donald Trump eventually lands in prison. And when that happens, I hope the irony of his pardons comes to him.

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Back To Normal


cjones05132020

In 2009, President Barack Obama expressed his opinion about an arrest in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Republicans howled that the President of the United States shouldn’t stick his nose into situations like this and should just let the legal system play it out. How dare he.

What happened in Cambridge was the arrest of a college professor trying to get into a house. It was his house. He also happens to be black.

Back when an American president spoke honestly and with clarity, President Obama said, “I don’t know, not having been there and not seeing all the facts, what role race played in that. But I think it’s fair to say, number one, any of us would be pretty angry; number two, that the Cambridge police acted stupidly in arresting somebody when there was already proof that they were in their own home, and, number three, what I think we know separate and apart from this incident is that there’s a long history in this country of African Americans and Latinos being stopped by law enforcement disproportionately.”

In 2012, after 17-year-old Trayvon Martin was killed by a wannabe Rambo for walking outside at night while being black and wearing a hoodie, President Obama said, “If I had a son, he would look like Trayvon.” Guess who got upset over that comment? White Republicans.

But you know what Obama never did? He never called the arresting officers or prosecutors “scum.”

Donald Trump, who unfortunately is the President (sic) of the United States, called the FBI officers involved in the Michael Flynn case, “human scum.” He also accused them of treason for pressing charges against a guy who was violating the Logan Act and attempted to thwart American foreign policy with a hostile nation that had just attacked our election. Michael Flynn was secretly talking to the Russian ambassador during the transition period between presidents. He was manipulating U.S. foreign policy. Then, he lied about it.

Are conservatives screaming for Trump to stay out of the case? Are they upset he called law enforcement “human scum?” These questions are rhetorical.

Michael Flynn is guilty. Like I wrote before, don’t take my word that he’s guilty. Take his. He pleaded guilty twice.

Two white men can kill a black man in Georgia, and not be charged until a video of the incident goes viral. The current president (sic) doesn’t have any comment on that but he has plenty to about the injustice being leveled at one of his treasonous goons. He said so much that his other goon, the Attorney General, drops all charges against the first goon who, let me remind you again, pleaded guilty twice.

With this pandemic, everyone wants the nation to get back to normal. For the two different justice systems we have in this nation, one for whites and one for blacks…it’s already there. In fact, it never changed.

Yesterday, Donald Trump called someone to crow about the Justice Department dropping charges against Flynn. He told the person on the other end of the phone call, “I wouldn’t be surprised if you see a lot of things happen over the next number of weeks.”

Who was Donald Trump talking to? Vladimir Putin.

Welcome to the new normal.

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New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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In Like Flynn


cjones05122020

The Trump administration is all about bad examples, corruption, and hypocrisy (we’ll ignore the racism and stupidity for now).

According to inside sources, Donald Trump got “lava level mad” over his exposure to the coronavirus as one of his Naval valets has tested positive for the coronavirus.

The valet performs chores that bring him close to the president (sic), such as shining his shoes, laying out his clothes, and bringing him diet Cokes and hamberders. Donald Trump said he had not been around this particular individual a lot but that doesn’t matter if he’s handling and eating what the valet has touched and breathed on. That’s kinda like thinking you can’t catch it from someone if you don’t know them that well, which was Trump’s argument after a person in a photo with him tested positive shortly after the photo was taken.

Someone is not paying a lot of attention to the briefings from the task force he nearly disbanded.

A person close to the White House told NBC News Trump “became ‘lava level mad’ at his staff and said he doesn’t feel they are doing all they can to protect him from the virus.”

Donald Trump has yet to be seen in a mask. For nearly 40 days straight, he conducted daily briefings in close proximity with other human beings while they all shared a mic. He has even visited a mask factory this week without wearing a mask. He’s said wearing a make is something he “doesn’t see for himself” as it would be undignified while hosting dictators in the Oval Office. Donald Trump is afraid that being seen in a mask will hurt his efforts to reopen the nation, confuse the ignorant Trump cultists he’s encouraged to “liberate” blue states, make him look weak, and be used against him in negative campaign ads. This from a guy whose face is already a negative.

Because of Trump’s attitude toward wearing a mask, nobody around him wears a mask. When Mike Pence visited the Mayo Clinic, he refused to wear a mask.

Trump has presented a very loud message that masks and social distancing are not necessary around him because he’s a tough guy. So, hardly anyone in the White House wears masks or social distances. And now, he’s “lava level mad” that he’s been exposed to the coronavirus?

Boris Johnson, Prince Charles, Prince Albert of Monaco, the Prime Minister of Russia, the wives of Canada and Spain’s leaders, a high number of leadership officials throughout the world, and Senator Rand Paul have all tested positive for the coronavirus. Several people who have been close to Trump at Mar-a-Lago and the White House have tested positive or been close to others who have. It’s kinda amazing Donald Trump hasn’t caught it and that the White House isn’t a petri dish full of the virus.

Now (get ready for more hypocrisy), while the administration argues it’s not necessary to test every American and it’s not even important to ramp up testing to reopen the nation, Donald Trump and Mike Pence will be tested for the virus daily. In case you’re a Republican, daily means every day.

Since Trump does need a new valet and they’re usually military personnel, why doesn’t he give former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn the job?

Donald Trump is not good at taking advice, from Dr. Anthony Fauci suggesting we all wear masks and practice social distancing to President Obama advising him not to hire Putin poodle Michael Flynn.

Flynn, who was just not exonerated by William Barr’s corruption, is someone Donald Trump said could possibly return to the White House after pleading guilty TWICE for lying to the FBI about his conversations with Russians during the transition period.

It’s a crime to lie to the FBI and that’s what Michael Flynn did. He was close to the president, working in the White House, and lying about contacts with Russia, a nation hostile to the United States and from which Flynn had taken payment (and also lied about) in the recent past. Flynn is guilty. Don’t take my word for it. Take Michael Flynn’s word for it. He pleaded guilty twice.

And why was he being investigated? Because he was undermining our nation’s national security policy. President Obama slapped heavy sanctions on Russia after their interference in the election. Flynn contacted them to tell them not to worry about it and to hold off on reprisals with their own sanctions. Help in the form of a corrupt Trump presidency was coming.

Attorney General William Barr intervened in the Roger Stone case by lowering the prison sentence recommendation for that particular Trump goon. All four Justice Department prosecutors in the Stone case resigned and over 2,000 former Justice Department officials signed a letter calling for Barr’s resignation.

Now, the Justice Department is dropping all charges against Flynn after years of Donald Trump tweeting about the “horrible treatment” the former three-star general has received. Donald Trump likes to stick up for traitors, probably because he’s one himself.

Barr brought in outside investigators whose sole mission was to find fault with the FBI’s investigation. Now, in regards to Michael Flynn pleading guilty twice, Barr said, “people sometimes plead to things that turn out not to be crimes.” The Attorney General doesn’t know it’s a crime to lie to the FBI? And why is the Attorney General talking like he’s Michael Flynn’s defense lawyer?

The message here is: Trump goons don’t have to worry about the rule of law. While career professionals from the Justice Department will go after their lawbreaking, the top goon of the department will attempt to save the bad guys. All the convicted goons will receive pardons after November anyway, whether Trump wins or not. These are corrupt people, from Trump to Barr to Flynn to Manafort to Stone to Giuliani to the coffee boy.

When Donald Trump issues directives, William Barr follows them, from lying about the Mueller Report while concealing it, defending Roger Stone, to dropping charges against Flynn. It’s not the valet who should be social distancing from Donald Trump, it’s the Attorney General.

But, it is hard to social distance when you’re crawling up someone’s ass.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

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New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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All The President’s Felons


cjones08262018

I can’t predict if Donald Trump will be impeached or not. I can’t predict if he’ll go to jail. But I do feel pretty confident in predicting he’s going to do one of two things, if not both. He’s either going to start issuing pardons as if they’re Pez candy and he’s a dispenser, or he’s going to fire Special Counsel Robert Mueller.

Yesterday has been described as the worst day of the Donald Trump presidency. And remember, one day he defended Nazis.

Yesterday, a jury in Virginia found former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort guilty on eight counts, five counts of tax fraud, two counts of bank fraud and one count of failure to disclose a foreign bank account. Manafort hid millions of dollars in foreign accounts to evade taxes and lied to banks repeatedly to obtain millions of dollars in loans.

About the same time the Manafort news was breaking, Trump’s former lawyer and fixer, Michael Cohen pleaded guilty on eight counts, five counts of tax evasion, one count of falsifying submissions to a bank and two counts involving unlawful campaign contributions. But, what really put the White House into panic mode was what he voluntarily confessed.

Cohen claimed in court that Donald Trump directed him to arrange payments to two women during the 2016 campaign to keep them from speaking publicly about affairs they had with Trump.

Cohen told the judge that the payments were made “in coordination with and at the direction of a candidate for federal office.” He also said, “I participated in this conduct, which on my part took place in Manhattan, for the principal purpose of influencing the election for president in 2016.” He didn’t mention the candidate by name, but he wasn’t working for Hillary Clinton.

Yesterday, the president of the United States of America became an unindicted co-conspirator.

Trump defended Paul Manafort on his way to a sycophant rally in West Virginia. He said it’s terrible what happened to Paul Manafort and that he’s a good guy who once worked for Reagan. I’m not sure that’s a great argument as there were 26 criminal indictments in the Reagan administration, 16 convictions, and eight prison sentences. Those numbers are for eight years. Trump hasn’t completed his second year yet, and we already have five who have pleaded or have been found guilty.

Trump’s view of Cohen is a bit harsher as he tweeted this morning, “If anyone is looking for a good lawyer, I would strongly suggest that you don’t retain the services of Michael Cohen!” It is true he’s a horrible lawyer and the proof of that is, he worked for Donald Trump for over a decade. He also called Omarosa a lowlife and a dog, yet he hired her four times, and tried to hire her a fifth to shut her up.

It’s often pointed out and will continue to be, that everyone close to Trump who has turned on him are liars and all-around horrible people. But, it’s not like Trump hires anyone with ethics and principles. Remember, these are not the prosecutors’ people. They’re Trump’s.

Some people believe this is the beginning of the end of the Mueller probe. I disagree and think it’s the end of the beginning. We still have a long road in front of us to remove a fraudulently elected president.

That also means I’m going to have a lot of cartoons to draw.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

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Flynn Flam


cjones12042017

Donald Trump asked then FBI Director James Comey to drop the bureau’s investigation of former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn. Trump did this because Flynn “is a good guy.” Trump did not want the investigation stopped because Flynn is a good guy. He wanted it ended because of what Flynn knows. Trump has asked Senators to end their investigations of Flynn also. Flynn might be the only person other than Vladimir Putin who Trump hasn’t derided or made an immature nickname for…yet.

Flynn was by Trump’s side through much of the campaign. After Trump secured the Republican nomination, he started receiving security briefings. Flynn attended these briefings which included details on Russia’s meddling in our election. During this time and after Trump won the presidency, Flynn was in secret talks with Russia trying to undermine current U.S. foreign policy.

Flynn was working as a lobbyist for the Turkish government while he was working on the Trump campaign and advocated for the U.S. government to expel a rebel cleric and enemy of the Turkish president. He lied about his involvement with Turkey on his foreign-agent disclosure forms.

Flynn also failed to report to the Defense Department’s inspector general’s office about his trip to Russia, where he sat next to Putin during a celebration for a Russian propaganda outlet. He also failed to report how much he was paid and later said in interviews that he didn’t know if he was paid.

When Trump first met President Obama at the White House, the legitimately-elected president told the one propped by Putin not to hire Flynn. Obama knew Flynn was compromised with Russia. Trump hired Flynn as his National Security Adviser anyway. Later, acting-Attorney General Sally Yates told the White House that Flynn was subject to blackmail from the Russians. Trump fired Yates.

Flynn lasted on the job for 24 days. Trump says he fired Flynn for lying to Vice President Mike Pence about his contacts with Russia, while also defending his contacts with Russia. He didn’t fire him for lying to Pence. Trump fired Flynn because The Washington Post found out about his lies. Firing Flynn, then asking for investigations to cease looking into Flynn, and firing the director of the FBI, is all part of Trump’s cover-up and obstruction of justice.

Flynn has now struck a plea bargain with Special Counsel Robert Mueller, and he has pled guilty to lying to the FBI. Defenders of Trump claim this confession doesn’t have anything to do with Trump. They are overlooking why Mueller would agree to a deal with Flynn. The deal is made because Flynn is now cooperating with the Special Counsel’s office. Flynn was directed to talk to Russia by Jared Kushner and has said others on the transition team, headed by Pence, knew about the interactions.

Flynn can’t be explained away by the administration as a coffee boy or someone who didn’t have much of an impact with the campaign. As the expression goes, Flynn was “in like Flynn.” Flynn was by Trump’s side, speaking at rallies, attending strategy meetings and security briefings. Flynn was probably more involved and connected to Trump than anyone else not related to Trump.

Flynn violated the Logan Act, a federal law that imposes fines and/or imprisonment for unauthorized citizens who negotiate with foreign governments having a dispute with the United States. Flynn told Russia not to retaliate against the United States for enacting sanctions against them, and tried to get the Russians to vote or delay a vote against Israel. Nobody has ever been prosecuted for breaking this law, but we’re in a lot of new territory with the Trump administration. Flynn’s plea will likely keep him out of prison, and send others there instead.

Trump’s lawyer, Ty Cobb, referred to Flynn Friday as a former official of the Obama administration. That’s true, but Obama fired Flynn and told Trump not to hire him, proving that our previous president has a lot better judgement than our current one.

Flynn famously joined the crowd at the Republican National Convention in shouting “lock her up,” and stated, “if I did one tenth as she did,” referring to Hillary Clinton, “I would be in jail.” As Flynn left the courthouse Friday, a small crowd greeted him with “lock him up.” Being that Flynn is a Republican I am not sure he can appreciate the irony.

Trump’s administration is in a contest with those of Reagan and Nixon for which will have the most members indicted, charged, and sent to prison. I have my money on the Trump administration.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Scenes From A Russian Restaurant


cjones04162017

I suppose you can argue that one person with a connection to Russian spies is not indicative of the practices of a campaign. OK, two is a coincidence. Oh, look, there’s another coincidence…and another…and, oh c’mon!!!

What is it with Trump and Russia? He can’t criticize Putin at all. Even yesterday when he said our relations with Russia are at an “all-time low,” yet he couldn’t say anything negative about Putin. He’s bashing Bashar al-Assad all day long for using chemical weapons. He wonders if the Russians are complicit but yet…no harsh words for Putin.

Have you noticed that Trump changes his tune on people after he meets them? He’ll slander them for months. Wage a campaign against them. Then he meets them and talks about how awesome they are. From Obama to Xi Jinping, he hates them and then he loves them. He’s going to go full orgasmic after he meets Putin. Basically, the guy is an ass kisser. By the way, Trump met the NATO guy yesterday and now NATO is not “obsolete” anymore. Also, NATO will now start fighting terrorism, though they’ve been doing that since at least 2001…but Trump, you know. History didn’t begin until he was sworn in as president.

Steve Bannon loves Russia (which many in the Breitbart, alt-right spectrum view as the last bastion of full-fledged whiteness, and in their defense, White Russians are tasty). Bannon was against bombing Syria because it might upset the Russians.

Then you have the people who are actually hanging out with the Russians.

Former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort lobbied for Russian puppets in the Ukraine. Documents showed payments to Manafort from dirty Ukranians to exceed $12 million in cash which he claims he never received, yet evidence turned up of him moving more than $2 million to Washington lobbying firms. Manafort has NOW registered as a foreign lobbyist despite lobbying for Ukraine, Pakistan, Nigeria, Kenya, Equatorial Guinea, Dominican Republic, a Lebanese arms-dealer, and Ferdinand Marcos. Fortunately for him, no Somali pirates have turned up on the list yet.

Today Manafort is under investigation by the CIA, FBI, NSA, Director of National Intelligence, and the financial crimes unit of the Treasury Department. I’m pretty sure he’s wanted for questioning by the Girl Scouts for putting his Tagalongs money into a Cyprus bank, and still owes Blockbuster for rewinding fees.

Of course the Trump campaign says Manafort wasn’t that involved with the campaign despite him being the campaign manager for five months. Paul who?

Jared Kushner, Trump’s son-in-law, senior adviser, and currently leading the White House Office of American Innovation (a branch of the Department of Making America Great Again and NOT an offshoot of the Department of Humping The Boss’ Daughter as many have speculated), has also hung out with Russians. He conveniently forgot about Russian schmoozing when he filled out forms for the nation’s top security clearance (that lets him in on all the juicy secrets like Roswell, JFK, Colonel’s secret recipe, etc.). Jared met with the Russian ambassador, Sergey Kislyak, which is forgetful as everyone else seems to forget they met him, and the head of a Russian state-owned bank. Oops! I don’t forget going to an ATM so I’m pretty sure I’d recall a Russian bank.

We can’t forget Michael Flynn, the shortest-tenured national security adviser in our nation’s history. He’s another guy who forgot he met with the Russian ambassador, Sergey Kislyak. That Kislyak guy must be the most boring person on the planet. Like Manafort, Flynn has NOW registered as a foreign agent, despite working for Turkey before he joined the Trump campaign.

Jeff Sessions is now our attorney general. He met with the Russian ambassador, and guess what! He forgot all about it too. It’s Kislyak! It slipped his mind to the point that he failed to mention it during his confirmation hearings in the United States Senate. He actually volunteered that he never met with any Russians during the campaign (Do you like pizza? Yes, I do and I never met with any Russians). Yet, there he was hanging out with Russians. More specifically, that boring ambassador. What’s his name again? Oh yeah. Kislyak!!

This brings us to Carter Page. Trump dropped his name as an adviser and later said “Carter who?” Carter was targeted by Russian spies who are on tape as referring to him as an “idiot,” and then he volunteered to the press that he was that idiot. He forgot he met the Russian ambassador (KISLYAK!!!), and he’s now under investigation by the FBI, CIA, NSA, ODNI, and FinCEN. Basically every agency currently after Manafort. Investigate two Trumpsters and the third one is free. Now it’s been revealed that the FBI successfully obtained a FISA court warrant to monitor Page and his contacts with the Russians. A FISA is really hard to get and this one was renewed at least once. That’s not good for Carter.

Carter was interviewed by Chris Hayes of MSNBC and said that he can’t verify that he met with the Russian ambassador, but if he did it was in Cleveland and it was the only Russian person he hung out with in Cleveland…if it happened. Oh that guy’s going to do so well when he testifies in front of the senate.

The Russians were right about one thing. Carter Page is an idiot.

And in case you’re reading this and you work for the Trump campaign: The names Kislyak! KISLYAK!!! KISLYAK!!! KISLYAK!!! KISLYAK!!! What’s with you, fuckers?

Creative notes: Why are so many Trump people creepy looking? These guys don’t look like presidential advisers. They look like strangers offering kids free candy from a van with tinted-windows or maybe, shit weasels working at a “Holocaust Center”.

My buddy and fellow cartoonist, Sergey Kislyak…I mean, Ed (sorry, it’s stuck in my head now), told me yesterday that I shouldn’t have used any labels in my “lounge lizard” cartoon. He might be right, but I felt I should risk it here.

I really hate labels and I’m using them less and less. The one flaw of editorial cartoons are the labels. Some cartoonists are really lazy, sloppy, and excessive with them but it’s a minus for the entire genre. I debated not using any today but I’m not sure any of these guys have household faces yet.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Lock Him Up


cjones04022017

If you’re a political cartoonist then you have to give Trump credit in one area. He hasn’t hired anyone difficult to caricature. Seriously. These are some freaky looking people.

They’re not just freaky looking. They’re all certified creepers. Michael Flynn ranks up there right below Steve Bannon and Trump himself.

During the campaign, while Flynn wasn’t yakking it up with Russians and taking money from them, he was lambasting Hillary Clinton. He joined the chants of “lock her up” at the neo-Republican rally they called a convention. During an interview with MSNBC’s Chuck Todd Flynn made the statement “When you are given immunity, that means you have probably committed a crime.” Now that he’s asking for immunity himself, he probably knows what he’s talking about. I mean, if we use his own description and guidelines, Flynn wouldn’t be asking for immunity unless he’s down, dirty, and traitorous.

Flynn wants immunity before he’s interviewed by the FBI. His lawyer said he wants to avoid “unfair prosecution” and “he has a story to tell.” I think I know how that story goes. It’s a long story. Flynn took money from Russians and then plotted with them thwart an election. OK, so it’s a short story.

Will he get immunity? It depends on what sort of goods he has and who he has them on. The FBI will want a big fish and a former national security adviser is a pretty big one. Flynn will have to have something on someone bigger. Now who in the Trump administration ranks higher than the national security adviser?

There are two things I expect to happen: Donald Trump is going to start shit-tweeting Michael Flynn and someone from the Trump administration will be “locked up.”

Ya’ll freaky right-wingers might want to be a bit more selective with your rally chants in the future.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.