Fee Fi Faux


cjones02172017

Are you tired of winning yet? Are you impressed by how Trump has hired the best people?

This week the Trump campaign has had more scandals than Obama had in his entire eight years. And that was by Wednesday.

His national security adviser, Michael Flynn, had to resign over chatting to Russia about sanctions before Trump came into office. Trump fired the woman who warned him that Flynn was a potential target for blackmail. Trump kept Flynn on staff for over two weeks, despite lying to the vice president, who went out and defended him on national television. Trumps response to all this is to blame the press for doing their jobs and the intelligence agencies for leaks.

Counselor Kellyanne Conway pimped his daughter’s products on Fox News, which is a huge ethical violation. She’s been running a propaganda campaign based on lies from crowd sizes to terrorists attacks that never happened. A few media outlets won’t allow her on their shows anymore, including Morning Joe which has been very favorable to Trump. That’s like pissing off Breitbart, who by the way, is also at odds with the White House right now over something or other. I’m not really sure as I don’t want to click onto their site. Ugh.

Trump held a press conference with Israel’s prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, where Trump made it clear he has no firm position on the two-state solution, or really any knowledge on the Israeli-Palestinian situation. It’s in the Middle East, right? Jews and Arabs? Done researching!

During the press conference he only took questions from conservative outlets, like the bible channel (not their real name).

After North Korea launched a new missile test Trump held a national security meeting during a dinner at his golf club in full view of guests and waiters. I heard the head chef had some really good ideas on security for South Korea. One lucky individual got to pose for a photo holding the nuclear football (that one really happened).

According to some reports our intelligence agencies are withholding some classified information from Trump out of fear he’ll expose it, either on purpose or inadvertently. He might accidentally tweet it out like Sean Spicer did with his passwords (it’s “spicyhot4u” by the way).

Before his dinner at Mar-a-Lago he had a photo op with the prime minister of Japan and at one point Shinzo Abe rolled his eyes after their handshake, which lasted 19 seconds.

Trump, thought “Shinzo” was Abe’s last name. Sean Spicer called Justin Trudeau, the prime minister of Canada, “Joe” Trudeau. The Trump team has called the prime minister of Australia the president of Australia, and the president of Colombia the president of “Columbia.”  British Prime Minister Theresa May has been referred to as “Teresa.” His new secretary of education proved she can’t spell. These guys apparently haven’t heard of spell check. All of this is very “unpresidented.”

On Wednesday Trump’s nominee as labor security withdrew after a tape finally surfaced of his ex wife accusing him of physical abuse on the Oprah Winfrey Show in 1990. You go, girl.

Trump has ICE rounding up people in the nation illegally and ripping families apart. His ban on Muslims was knocked down by the courts. Trump’s trying to prevent brown people from entering the country and kicking out the ones who are here.

Foreign creditors are less willing to purchase U.S. debt. Nobody wants any of this. Apparently our stock is about as valuable as Blockbuster.

Presidential adviser Stephen Miller said the president’s power won’t be questioned. That should make you feel warm all over like a nice golden shower.

There are reports Trump won’t read any briefings unless they’re limited to a single page with lots of colorful graphics and delivered in the form of a pop-up book (darn it. Someone’s gonna steal that for a cartoon).

On top of all that Trump went to war with Nordstroms for dropping his daughter’s fashion line, the same one Conway hawked.

I’m pretty sure I’m leaving something out. Go ahead and put it in the comments.

Again, it’s only Thursday.

Creative notes: This cartoon may only work in color. Hopefully it won’t give my clients another reason to be frustrated with me. A few want me to do something other than Trump. They’re not wrong. I’ve done a lot on Trump and he won’t stop doing things. I’d like to do a cartoon on a different subject. Stay tooned for that.

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