Andrew Puzder, Donald Trump’s pick to head the Labor Department really hates workers and he wants to replace them with machines. He thinks machines will be great because they’re always friendly, they don’t demand overtime, raises or any pay at all. They don’t need health insurance. Best of all they don’t file discrimination or sexual harassment suits.

My question to Puzder is: What sort of freak wants to sexually harass a robot?

While hating workers Puzder loves to combine sex with terrible hamburgers. Have you seen the commercials for Carl’s Jr., the company Puzder heads? They’re all a bunch of big boobs with big burgers. It’s like a greasy Go Daddy commercial.

Puzder has said “I like beautiful women eating burgers in bikinis.” The man does have talent. Do you realize how hard it is to get a burger in a bikini? Puzder says it’s “very American.”

Puzder the Putz is a very logical choice for Trump. Trump objectifies women too. He objectifies them so much that when he’s not sexually assaulting them he’s barging into dressing rooms for teenage models at his beauty pageants.

I’m not looking forward to the day when robots take my food order. I believe when that happens people will stop eating fast food. It’ll be really creepy. I don’t care how cool Star Wars made it look. Robots don’t have taste buds.

In “Attack Of The Clones” Obi Wan Kenobi visits his friend Dex at a greasy diner. The waitress is a robot who serves Obi Wan Jamba Juice, whatever the hell that is, while he talks to Dex, a short order cook with four arms.

It’s going to be hard enough competing in the job market against aliens from outer space with multiple arms that we don’t need droids added to the market.

How many cartoons could I draw in a day if I had four arms and the attention span to keep up with it? How many vaginas could Trump grab in a day if he had four arms? There’d be quadruple the accusations.

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