MAGAbilly Elegy

Ohio Republican Senator J.D. Vance is the winner of Donald Trump’s veepstakes. I think it’s an underwhelming pick because I don’t see what Vance brings to the ticket, which means I’m happy with it.

What does Vance bring? Trump already has stupid obnoxious cultist white fanboys. He already has hillbillies. He already has Ohio and West Virginia. So how does this bring more voters to the ticket? This only double-downs on MAGA.

Some Trumpers are actually upset over the pick for his past comments calling Trump an “idiot” and “America’s Hitler.” They’re not upset with his racism, homophobia, his limited political experience, or his fat bearded face. He’s only been a senator for a little over a year and a half. But then again, Trump didn’t have any government experience either when Putin installed him in the White House in 2016, and despite four years of living there, he still doesn’t have any real government experience.

One thing that amuses me is the hypocrisy of MAGAts. They’re screaming that hateful rhetoric from Democrats contributed to Trump being grazed in the ear by what was probably a piece of his teleprompter after it was shot by a would-be assassin. Check out these cartoons by Al Goodwyn, Al Goodwyn, Lisa Benson, Eric Allie, Mike Lester, Henry Payne, Dana Summers, Steve Kelley, and Bob Gorrell. Are these MAGAts on the same talking points page or what? I’m sure there’s a Gary Varvel coming too on this, as he never misses the talking points. I’m also sure there’s a Branco and Ben Garrison on it too, but I don’t feel like Googling for them today.

If you can find one cartoon between all these lying hypocritical gaslighting idiots wailing about hateful rhetoric after Paul Pelosi was attacked, I’ll make a video of me dancing in a skirt and a Trump shirt.

You won’t find one.

What you will find is hypocrisy and them being oblivious that it’s been the Right calling us libtards, groomers, pedophiles, cucks, snowflakes, sheeple, beta, globalists, social justice warriors, Tumblerina, and even creating the nickname for President Biden, “PedoJoe.” And, not to mention the many like Laura Loomer who have lied about the president and his daughter (He’s not the one who said he’d date his daughter). Theyforget that Trump advocated for a “2nd Amendment solution” to Hillary Clinton being elected. They forget That Trump instigated an insurrection. They forget that Trump has been the biggest advocate for violence over the past eight years. Remember “stand back and stand by?” Do you remember Donald Trump Jr’s post mocking Paul Pelosi was attacked by a right-winger? He later deleted it now and no matter how many times users of Twitter/X remind him of it, he still doesn’t seem to remember it while crying about “hateful rhetoric.”

Others who shared lies and conspiracy theories about the attack without crying about “hateful rhetoric” were Ted Cruz, Elon Musk, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Jesse Watters, and….wait for it…Donald Trump. Donald Trump never advocated to decrease hateful rhetoric after Paul Pelosi was attacked. I don’t remember him telling his cult to calm down after an FBI field office was attacked by one of his MAGAts.

Now they’re upset when we compare Trump to Hitler, but we’re only pointing out what Trump says and the traits he exhibits. When Trump is compared to Hitler and Nazis, it’s not the fault of liberals and the media…it’s Trump’s fault. When Trump equated anti-racism protesters with tiki-torch Nazis, MAGAts got mad at us for pointing out the fact.

Cry me a river you hypocritical triggered snowflakes.

Creative note: I drew this cartoon and wrote the blog at Stone Creek Coffee in Milwaukee. It’s a great place to work although the Wi-Fi sucks balls.

Convention notes:

I’m having fun here in Milwaukee. I couldn’t find any protesters at the convention last night but I did find cops…a lot of cops. There are police here from across the nation. I met cops from Texas, Georgia, Ohio, Pennsylvania, etc, and for the most part, they’re all standing around or sitting in tents chatting. It’ll be interesting to see if police forces from across the nation volunteer to assist the Democratic National Convention in Chicago next month.

I even saw cops in boats…a lot of cop boats. But hey, you never know when a frogman sniper might show up…or Nessie. She’s Scottish ya know and she might stick her head out of the Milwaukee River and say, “I want the clueless numpty toupeed weaselheaded fucknugget in my belly!”

I ran into Madison Cawthorn. I asked to take his photo and after I did, his aide asked if I wanted to be in a photo with Cawthorn. I said, “Hell no. I don’t wanna be seen with that guy,” or something like that. You should have seen the look on both of their faces. I’m just sorry I didn’t think to ask if he was wearing panties.

I found MAGAts selling Trump merch that my cartoon predicted. “The lady in the pic (who was very nice) asked me if I wanted the card to their online shop and I said no because I won’t ever purchase Trump merch. She then asked why did I want to take their photo if I didn’t want the merch or like Trump. I told her I did it because I wanted to prove they were going to milk the shooting for all it’s worth.

I learned that lady MAGAts don’t like it when a snarky cartoonist compliments their pantsuits with, “I think Hillary has that same pantsuit.” If I do my job, a lot of lady MAGAts will be burning pantsuits when they get home to Little Rock.

Somebody tell me why MAGAts always have to ask me if I like Trump? Somebody tell me why they get bent out of shape when I tell them no. I don’t ask them if they like Trump (I can already tell). Somebody tell me why they’re always always always surprised when I say I don’t like Trump.

And then I went to a pub and had a few pints with the manager, Gavin. Gavin is a liberal. There were a few MAGAts around (Maybe four), and we talked politics and the business of MAGA. Milwaukee should be experiencing a boost in business by scoring the GOP convention but Gavin told me his pub and others are losing money. Even hotels are losing money. Why?

Milwaukee is a very blue city and a lot of locals to the pubs are staying home because they don’t want to be anywhere near a crowd of MAGAts. Who blames them? But the MAGAts are not replacing their business. Like I said, there were only four in that pub last night and it was after the night’s convention events were over.

One hotel is blocked from the public because Trump had to cancel his plans to stay in the Chicago Trump Tower during his convention in Milwaukee. Trump reportedly said behind closed doors that he hates Milwaukee. To prove he doesn’t, he’s now staying in a hotel he doesn’t own for once. This is blocking a lot of business for the hotel, from what I have heard.

Gavin and his girlfriend Elle are planning to show me some of the city tonight and I’m going to count that as research. Hey, I’m making friends.

I did learn a few other things (other than the pantsuit thing). Wisconsin has more pubs than grocery stores and they really like Miller Lite. Someone get me a pint!

Update: One of those visiting cops I was talking about shot a local person.

Note: I’m in Milwaukee covering the Republican National Convention. I’ll be in Chicago covering the Democrats in August. If you would like to financially contribute and support this effort, you can donate through PayPal (clayjonz@gmail.com). I’m still trying to think of what I can do to thank contributors and I’m open to suggestions. I should also tell you that my coverage will be from outside the venues as neither party wants me inside their house.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have five copies and you can order yours, signed by me, for $45.00. You can pay through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Knee-Deep In Mississippi: There are only 16 copies left of my first book, published in 1997. These can be purchased for $40.00

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