Teeny Tiny Finger Guns

The New York City Police Department is set to revoke Donald Trump’s permit to carry a gun in the city. Trump had three pistols, two of which were turned over to the police last April and the third was legally transferred to Florida where he’s now a citizen. But here’s the thing, kids…Florida has to take that third pistol away too.

It is illegal for a convicted felon to own a gun. This is not a state law, it’s federal. Florida Republicans can howl, bark, and collectively shit themselves, but they are not their own country. Donald Trump is now a convicted felon, even if you don’t like it. Even if you think the trial where he’s guilty on 34 counts of being a shady sleazy porn-star-plugging grifter is a total sham and witch hunt, he’s still a felon.

Nick Sortor, an independent “journalist” who regularly appears on right-wing news outlets and podcasts, said, “NYPD is preparing to revoke President Trump’s license to carry a firearm. Meanwhile, ACTUAL criminals continue to run around armed and free. Get out of New York.”

Nick is right. Actual criminals are continuing to run around free. Donald Trump has yet to be sentenced and judges in Georgia, one in Florida, and the Supreme Court keep protecting him by delaying his other criminal trials.

But one minute, the MAGAts are complaining about crime in New York City, and the next, they’re crying because a felon can’t waddle around while carrying a gun in Manhattan. Ya gotta make up your minds…you’re either for it or against it. Have some consistency.

Other goons are crying that Trump, who has Secret Service protection we’re still paying for, can’t protect himself now. Wah.

Convicted felons lose rights, like being able to own a gun. They may lose the right to vote. They may be turned down for loans. Many countries will not allow convicted felons to enter. Most employers will refuse to hire a convicted felon. Remember when Baskin-Robbins fired Ant-Man after finding out he’s a felon? Convicted felon Ant-Man could join the Avengers but not Baskin-Robbins…oh yeah…and Ant-Man can be president…and still not be the president with the tiniest fingers. Most jobs in the federal government are unavailable to convicted felons…except the presidency. It’s easier for a convicted felon to become president of the United States of America than to get a job at Baskin-Robbins.

Baskin-Robbins saved half the universe by firing Ant-Man and could save it again by hiring Donald Trump…except they don’t hire felons.

I thought of using “pew pew pew” because of a scene in Community, one of the most irreverent shows that’s ever been on prime-time TV. In one scene, Abed and Troy are in costumes play shooting, saying “pew pew pew.” They suddenly notice a very cute woman looking at them like they’re the weirdos they are. Troy suddenly stops playing and tries acting cool saying, “Sup, girl…how you living?” Abed follows this with another “pew.” I love that show.

Also a quick reminder…Donald Trump is a convicted felon.

Pew.

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