The Boss

Donald Trump used his weekend off from his hush money trial in Manhattan to campaign and held another one of his hate rallies.

It’s not unusual for Trump to make bogus claims at these rallies in addition to lying about the size of the crowds, on which he has a weird fixation. Sean Spicer’s first act as White House spokesgoon was to lie about the size of Donald Trump’s inauguration and despite physical proof to the contrary, claimed Trump had the largest inauguration crowd ever.

After Trump’s hater fest over the weekend, he and his sycophants claimed attendance was over 100,000 and a city official, a Republican, backed him up. However…yeah.

This rally was held on a beach in Wildwood, which is on the Jersey Shore. Why is Trump campaign in New Jersey, a blue state where President Biden beat Trump by nearly 20 percentage points? Does Trump really believe he can close that gap? He did declare at the hate rally he would win New Jersey in November. But about those numbers…

Ernie Troiano Sr, the Republican mayor of Wildwood, claimed 80,000 were at the rally but the capacity for the site where Trump spoke is only 20,000. If Trump pulled in 20,000, that’d be pretty good for a Trump rally. Trump never pulls in the numbers he claims. So how’d Mr. MAGA Mayor arrive at 80,000? He counted everybody at the rally…and on the beach, on the boardwalk, along the route of the motorcade, everyone who drove through the city that day, and everyone who attended four other events on the same day. It’s not so much that a government agency counted the crowd as much as it was the mayor closing his eyes and making shit up.

Fun fact: Trump barked out lies for 90 minutes and the size of his crowd decreased during that time. Do you know whose crowd doesn’t leave early? Bruce Springsteen’s. More on that in a minute.

A lot of people went to the rally to see Trump which is like going to see the presidents’ heads carved into a mountain in South Dakota. You travel to see it and then you leave. It’s boring after two minutes, but you can say you saw it. It’s kinda like that at a Trump rally except Trump doesn’t leave…and he’s less interesting than the four heads made out of stone. Most people at a Trump rally will leave before Trump does. I know my friend and I did back in 2016. The man doesn’t shut up. It’s 90 minutes of barking bullshit. Speaking of bullshit…

Trump claimed his rally drew more people than a Bruce Springsteen concert in New Jersey. Say what now?

The last time The Boss (Bruce, not Donald), played the Meadowlands (where the Giants and Jets play), he sold the place out three nights in a row which was over 180,000 concertgoers.

Trump might have told 80,000 lies or have 80,000 sexual harassment accusations or have contracted 80,000 STDs or made 80,000 hush payments to women he shagged while Melania was pregnant or stolen 80,000 classified documents or called 80,000 election officials to “find votes or eaten 80,000 Big Macs or eaten 80,000 buckets of KFC or had 80,000 women laugh at the size of his penis or have 80,000 nicknames like “Von Shitenpants” and “GropenFuhrer” or took 80,000 boom-booms in his adult diaper or attracted 80,000 flies or stole 80,000 boxes of classified documents or has kissed Putin’s ass 80,000 times, but he’s never… NEVER… drawn 80,000 people to one of his hate rallies.

There is an exception to this and that was in India where government officials speculated (they didn’t actually count) that there may have been 125,000 at an event where Trump spoke. The event was held in a cricket stadium in Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s hometown, and that’s who the crowd came to see, Modi. Trump rode Modi’s coattail and got to claim he spoke to over 125,000 people. Sheesh, can you imagine how many people the Boss would have pulled?

One distinct advantage for Trump in India is that he could blame the smell emanating from his diaper on the sewage-filled Yamuna River.

Trump claimed he drew bigger crowds in New Jersey than Springsteen. Springsteen is more popular in New Jersey than Modi is in India or Trump is at a Klan rally…or Florida. And to insult Bruce in front of his people as Trump did, calling him a “wacko,” is no way to win New Jersey.

Music note: I listened to Bruce Springsteen.

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