Trump Rally

Germin’ With Herman


cjones07062020

I don’t care who you are or if you’re a Republican or a Democrat when it comes to science. You should listen to scientists, not politicians. You should especially listen to scientists over stupid politicians.

While Donald Trump and his surrogates keep downplaying the seriousness of the coronavirus and put a happy spin on it, people close to Trump continue to catch it. A Secret Service agent who accompanied Mike Pence to Arizona, a virus hotspot, has contracted the virus. While the Trump campaign was setting up its hate rally in Tulsa several members of the campaign and two Secret Service agents caught the virus.

Before the rally was held in Tulsa, everyone who is not a dumbass knew it was a horrible and stupid idea. Oklahoma was and still is a hotspot for the coronavirus. It was very dangerous to go to a hotspot and jam 19,000 people into one…I’m sorry…to jam 6,000 people into one room. All the experts said we’ll see who catches it from that rally in two weeks. Guess what. It’s been two weeks.

Herman Cain chairs Black Voices for Trump, where there are not a lot of voices. Herman attended the Tulsa hate rally. He wasn’t afraid of catching the virus and photos turned up of him at the rally not wearing a face mask and not social distancing. After the hate rally, Cain wrote an Op-Ed saying, “The atmosphere was electric, and the president’s words were inspiring. He presented a vision for uniting the country, overcoming the remaining effects of the pandemic and reinvigorating an economy he had going strong before the coronavirus showed up.” Yeah, the “atmosphere” was apparently contaminated, and guess who now has to “overcome the remaining effects of the pandemic?”

Yup, Herman has caught the virus. He was told Monday he has the disease and by Wednesday, his symptoms were so severe that he was hospitalized in Atlanta. I’m not sure if it was before or after he went to the hospital, but on Wednesday, TWO FUCKING DAYS AFTER HE WAS TOLD HE HAD THE VIRUS, he tweeted his support for the July 4th celebration in South Dakota saying, “Masks will not be mandatory for the event, which will be attended by President Trump. PEOPLE ARE FED UP!”

Seriously, dude. Has Trump called or sent you a get-well card yet? People are “fed up” with wearing face masks? Guess what, Herman? You should have worn a mask. I’m pretty sure it would have been a lot less inconvenient than being in a hospital.

There will be a huge celebration in South Dakota at Mount Rushmore where the stupid Republican governor announced face masks will not be mandatory and they will not be social distancing. In fact, each attendee will be assigned their own personal Nazi to breath heavy on their face. Sorry, ladies. Stephen Miller’s been spoken for.

And, Donald Trump will be at this rally where some predict the attendance can be as high as 30,000. According to some inside sources, Donald Trump is petrified he will catch the virus because it will make him look bad because he’s trying to convince everyone the virus will go away and he’s mocked people for wearing face masks. However, he is starting to bend on the mask thing and even says it makes him look like the Lone Ranger. I think he’s confusing the Lone Ranger with Bane.

The White House may be testing Trump every day for the virus. Reportedly, everyone who comes in contact with him has to be tested. But tests aren’t 100 percent reliable. Someone should tell this to Donald Trump and maybe use a condom analogy. Perhaps if he sees the coronavirus as an Eric, he’ll take the disaster seriously.

I don’t care how much precaution is being taken to protect Trump from the virus because, at the rate he’s hanging out with large crowds of racist assholes, someone with the virus will slip in and get on him. Ask Herman.

Donald Trump said “Black Lives Matter” is a racist symbol. Maybe he can put that on the get-well card for Herman. Hey, Herman. How are your doctors fighting the virus? Are they using hydroxychloroquine? Are you drinking bleach? I hope you’re listening to the doctors and not Doctor Dumbass.

In addition to listening to scientists over stupid politicians, maybe Herman can remember just how loyal of a person Donald Trump is. And what did Herman get for his loyalty to Donald Trump, a man who tweeted “white power” and throws out racist dog whistles on a daily basis? He got a hospital bed. Herman is one of Donald Trump’s “black friends,” which means he’s not really his friend. He’s a token.

Tokens are expendable, especially to disloyal and selfish people like Donald Trump.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

MAGA Funny


cjones06262020

I used to think conservatives were funny. Now, they’re only funny inadvertently. The basis for all Republican humor, especially for those in the Trump cult, is cruelty.

Republicans think it’s hilarious to put immigrant children in cages. They laughed their asses off when Border Patrol agents destroy jugs of water left for immigrants in the desert. They love cracks at the appearance of an elderly woman if that woman is a Democrat. When Donald Trump calls a woman “nasty,” entire arenas roar. Those arenas aren’t as full as they were, but still. “Send them back” still slays ’em.

MAGAts love cruel humor because they’re cruel people themselves. There are two qualifications to be a Trump supporter: You have to be OK with racism and you have to be an asshole. That comes pretty easy for Trump supporters because it’s the cruelty and racism that appeals to them. Try this test: Ask any one of them to explain details of any Trump position. Nine times out of ten, the answer will contain the word “Obama.”

During Donald Trump’s Tulsa hate rally that was a huge flop, he said he told his people to slow down testing for the coronavirus. The audience ate it up and laughed their balls off…even the female Trump supporters (though to be fair, I hear most of them shave their balls). Later, his campaign fucknuts said he was just joking.

Really? Joking about testing on a pandemic that’s killed over 120,000 Americans? Joking about a virus that would have killed fewer people if Donald Trump had confronted the crisis early on instead of downplaying it like he’s still doing? Joking about testing for a virus when testing saves lives? Yeah, that’s hilarious. H’yuk, h’yuk, h’yuk.

Now, Donald Trump says he wasn’t joking. The joke here that’s hilarious is this White House can’t even get on the same page over something stupid like, more testing leads to more cases. See? Inadvertently funny.

Also during his racist rally, Donald Trump said the coronavirus has more names than any other disease and he could name 19 of them. He only named one and it was “Kung flu.” That is a racist term and surely his crowd would strongly disapprove such a racist slur…who am I kidding? They loved it.

Later, KayLeigh McEnany, the new and improved White House spokesgoon, decided to blame the media for Donald Trump’s slur. Her argument was, we need to focus on where the virus came from and not Trump’s use of a racist slur. Months ago, Another White House goon, Kellyanne Conway got angry at a reporter for stating a source in the administration had used the same slur. Kellyanne demanded to know who said it. She was indignant with anger. The outrage. It’s impossible. Now we know who said it. I for one hope Kellyanne takes her anger over the slur out on the president (sic).

Yesterday, a noose was found hanging in the garage for Bubba Wallace, NASCAR’s only black driver. It was in his team’s garage at the race in Talladega, Alabama. Now, Donald Trump hasn’t said or tweeted anything about that, but he did retweet some racist videos last night. And, I saw some MAGAts speculating this was another Jussie Smollett situation that’s fake and generated by liberals because it’s preposterous to believe someone would hang a noose in a black guy’s garage in Alabama. I’m sure they won’t apologize after the offender is found and captured. He will be found. And, he will be a Trump supporter.

Do you know why all good comedians are liberal? Because you have to be smart to be funny…or at least good at it. Idiots don’t make good comedians…or political cartoonists. Over the past two weeks, there were three issues over racist political cartoons with newspapers apologizing and editors resigning. None of those cartoons were funny unless you love racist humor. Conservatives don’t understand humor, irony, hypocrisy, or anything more complex than, “ramp slippery, me fall down.” But as I said, Republicans are inadvertently funny. Let’s list some examples.

Matt Gaetz lives with a 19-year-old man. OK, that’s more creepy than funny. Maybe it’s just Matt Gaetz’s face that’s funny. He kinda looks like an asshole Matt Damon but uglier. Also, ew and that kid’s going to write a book someday.

Another example of inadvertently funny is Jim Jordan. OK, again. Maybe it’s just his face. Real funny is Ted Cruz picking a fight with Hell Boy…for Jim Jordan to fight. And of course, Ted Cruz’s face.

I’ll list a few better examples. When Donald Trump holds a glass with two hands and he purses his lips like he has super sucking power that’ll bring that water to his mouth without touching the glass, that’s hilarious. When he took forever to walk down that ramp…that was just stupid funny. The other walk he took, after his Tulsa rally, where his tie is undone and his orange makeup is splotched all over his color, Fufreakinghilarious.

Oh, yeah, remember that time they boasted about having a million people registering for tickets to a hate rally in Tulsa and only 6,200 showed up? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Remember them tearing down the stage for the overflow crowd because there wasn’t an overflow crowd? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Funny, funny, funny. Tim Allen should be writing this shit down. He can do those man grunts with it if that helps sell the joke.

What could Dennis Miller do with an empty Trump hate rally? Let me try: That rally was emptier than a theater showing cats if all the cats were racist cats wearing MAGA hats. OK, I can’t do a Dennis Miller, or I need more time and I want to publish this blog.

Another example of Republicans being inadvertently funny: Donald Trump probably wears a diaper. Alright, maybe some of our humor is cruel too. But, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

But it’s OK if your humor is cruel when you’re making fun of racist assholes.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

TikTok Agitators


cjones06252020

Do you know what I love about conservatives using the word “agitator?” Because it was a favorite word of southern racists back in the 1960s when northerners went to the south to register black voters. It’s what the racists called the people they murdered in Neshoba County, Mississippi in 1964 during what was called “Freedom Summer.”

Donald Trump talked about “heritage” Saturday night in Tulsa where only 6,200 Trump-supporting racists showed up. When Donald Trump talks about heritage, he’s giving out a dog whistle to racists. And just like he did with taking “when the looting starts, the shooting starts,” from a southern sheriff in the 1960s, he’s now using “agitators.” All Donald Trump is missing is his “sheriff’s star” and white hood. For the record, he also used the racist term “Kung flu” at Saturday’s hate rally.

Donald Trump sent out a hate tweet before his Saturday Tulsa flop that said, “Any protesters, anarchists, agitators, looters or lowlifes who are going to Oklahoma please understand, you will not be treated like you have been in New York, Seattle, or Minneapolis. It will be a much different scene!”

Donald Trump is the president (sic) of the United States and he equated protesters with terrorists. Protesting is legal in this country. And while he wants to designate “Antifa” a fictional organization as a federally-recognized terrorist group, he ignores that white supremacists are responsible for the majority of terrorist acts in this nation. He talks about Antifa burning churches while it’s white supremacists who burn churches. How long will we have to wait for him to express outrage about a noose left hanging in the garage of NASCAR’s only black driver, Bubba Wallace? To Donald Trump, that noose is “heritage.”

For the lack of a crowd in Tulsa, the Trump campaign is blaming Black Lives Matter and the media for scaring people off. But, but, but, but I thought it would be a different scene and they wouldn’t allow any “agitating” in Tulsa? From the photos of Trump walking across the White House lawn from Marine One after arriving home from the rally, he looked pretty agitated.

Trump is livid that TikTok teens, K-Pop Stans, and assorted Zoomers punk’d the Trump campaign. Brad Parscale, the soon-to-be-shit-canned campaign manager, tweeted that the Zoomers didn’t really prank them. But, but, but, but, Brad…why did you and the guy who’s soon to fire you, President (sic) Trump boast about a million people registering for your Tulsa hate rally? Why, why, why, why, Brad? Why?

Basically, Brad, you got rocked by the TikTok. You got panned by the K-Pop Stans. Your rally got put in a tomb by the people on Zoom. You’ll claim you retired but you’ll actually be fired. As Paula Abdul once sang, “Ba-ba-ba-ba-bye-ba-ba-bub-bub-bye.”

There’s another hate rally scheduled for tomorrow (in case you’re a Republican, tomorrow is Tuesday, June 23). This MAGA party is scheduled for a megachurch that will only hold 3,000 people. I’m sure this one will be filled but the oversize crowd, or lack of one, will probably still fuck with Trump and Brad if he’s still around.

Personally, I’m looking forward to a campaign season for Donald Trump with half-empty venues for his hate rallies. I don’t know if that’ll ever get old for me because I’m going to laugh my ass off every time it happens.

I’m hoping this is a sign America is tired of Trump. Defeating Trump will be a defeat for evil. It’ll be a slap in the face to his racist supporters who need some major slappage. America can move forward again and the Joe Biden administration can start to repair the damage Donald Trump inflicted upon this nation.

I’m sure Joe Biden’s inauguration will be larger than Donald Trump’s. But there could be a huge turnout for Donald Trump’s goodbye party.

Ba-ba-ba-ba-bye-ba-ba-bub-bub-bye.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Learning From Trump


CNN06222020
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When Donald Trump says, “Believe me,” it means he’s telling a lie. When Donald Trump says something is “beautiful,” it means it’s a train wrecking into a mountain of shit on fire. When Donald Trump says, “It will be like nothing anyone has ever seen,” that means you’ve seen it. And when Donald Trump says, “No one ever knew that before,” it means he just found out.
Donald Trump once told us Abraham Lincoln is a Republican and that “not a lot of people knew that.” I think everyone learns that by the second grade. He learned of Frederick Douglass and told us, “Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is getting recognized more and more, I notice.” I think he confused Frederick Douglass with Ben Carson. Now, Donald Trump is telling us he made Juneteenth famous.
Let’s be fair here. Maybe he did make more Americans aware of Juneteenth. Of course, I’m only talking about white Americans.  Donald Trump probably only became aware of Harriet Tubman after she was scheduled to replace his favorite racist president, Andrew Jackson, on the $20 bill, which he halted.
In case you’re playing catch-up, Juneteenth is recognized by black Americans as a holiday though it’s not a federal one. Soon, it will be. Either next year or in four. It’s a holiday because that’s when slaves in Texas found out about the Emancipation Proclamation and that they were free citizens. Of course, when they found this out, it was two years after the fact. Yes, our nation is racist and the fact this is not a holiday, in addition to Donald Trump being president (sic), proves that.
Donald Trump took credit for educating Americans about Juneteenth. Of course, that means he just found out about it and in an interview, he asked aides in the room if they were aware. A black Secret Service agent was aware and a white aide was too because she remembered the press release the White House issued for it in 2019. Donald Trump did not remember that. He was all like, we did that? For a black holiday? Quick…someone get me a $20.
If anyone learned of Juneteenth because of Donald Trump, it was inadvertent. Donald Trump did not set out to educate America about a piece of black American history, or as some people will call it, American history.
Did I know of Juneteenth before this year? Yes, I did. But in my defense, I’m smarter than most people. Just kidding. I was aware because I have to read stuff. I don’t consider it an accomplishment that I knew this as I’m kind of supposed to. I haven’t read a novel in five years but I have heard of Juneteenth. I will give you this, I had never heard this much discussion about it.
Now, one thing I did learn more about was the Tulsa race riot. I had heard of it before but not all the details. I had heard of Black Wall Street too.
But, someone at the Trump campaign knew about all this and it’s why they scheduled the rally on Juneteenth for Tulsa, which is in a very red state and where Donald Trump doesn’t need to rally (Michigan, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Florida, North Carolina would have each made more sense). Having the rally in Tulsa on Juneteenth was as much of a racist dog whistle as when Donald Trump talked last night about “heritage” and “kung flu.”
In addition to Juneteenth and the Tulsa race riot…and that Donald Trump and Brad Parscale can be easily outwitted by teenagers, we learned some other stuff last week. But maybe we learned more from John Bolton.
We learned of Chinese concentration camps for Muslims and that Donald Trump approved of them.
We learned Finland is in Russia but I hope you already knew that. Maybe Putin told Trump Finland was a part of Russia because Russia invaded Finland back in World War II (which put Finland, a Democracy even at that time, on the side of the Axis with Hitler even though all they did wrong was be next to Russia).
We learned that maybe the Supreme Court hates Trump. At least that’s what Trump claimed after SCOTUS ruled people can’t lose their jobs for being LGBTQ and in favor of DACA. We already knew Obama was a better president.
We learned England is a nuclear power. Well, I knew that. The other nuclear powers are the U.S, Russia, France, China, North Korea, Pakistan, India, and shhhhh, it’s a secret, Israel. But learning Donald Trump didn’t know this isn’t a surprise as he didn’t know the differences between England, the United Kingdom, and Britain. This guy didn’t know about the nuclear triad.
We learned Trump will ask China to help his reelection but that’s not a surprise as he’s already asked Russia and Ukraine. Who else has he asked? I’ll bet you a chicken chimichanga under a mountain of cheesy chili there are more.
We learned Donald Trump only cares about Donald Trump and will risk his supporters’ lives to hear an applause. Well, most of us already knew that too.
We learned about racist babies. What? Babies can’t be racist. What happened here is, Donald Trump took a loving video that made everyone in the world go, “dawwwwwwwwwwwwwww” while making a goofy face, of two toddlers, one black and the other white, running toward each other for a huge hug. It was adorable. Trump, took that video and made it appear as though it was a CNN broadcast of the white baby chasing the black baby with the tag, “racist baby probably a Trump supporter.” How fucking vile is that? One thing we didn’t learn is that Donald Trump is a low-life piece of crap. The families of the toddlers were highly upset and Twitter and Facebook removed it…eventually.
Trump also had a tweet removed from Facebook for using a Nazi symbol. A lot of people weren’t aware of that symbol but they are now. Haven’t seen it? I put it on the airplane in my last cartoon.
Donald Trump is appalling, evil, vile, gross, and disgusting. We already knew that. We also know he’s a fucking moron.
Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

TikTok Tulsa


cjones06242020

Donald Trump promised us his Tulsa Rally would be like something no one has ever seen before. That did not turn out to be true because I’ve seen empty seats before. Now, where was it? Oh yeah. His rally in Fredericksburg, Virginia in 2016. That room was only half full too.

Donald Trump held his first rally in three months in Tulsa, Oklahoma and it was supposed to be the energizing boost to restart his campaign. Despite being advised not to hold covidchella in a Tulsa petri dish, his plans moved forward. And expectations were high as campaign manager, for now, Brad Parscale boasted over 1 million people had signed up for tickets.  1 million people did not show up for Trump’s Saturday night hate rally but I do believe over a million laughed.

Oh, but Trump expected a million people to show up. Expectations were so high, the campaign planned events outside the arena for an overflow crowd. They set up jumbotrons so Trump fans unable to get inside the BOK arena would be able to see and hear their racist leader give his speech full of lies and praise for himself. When it was clear there was not going to be an overflow crowd, the campaign quickly tore the stage down to avoid embarrassment but left the jumbotrons up which gave the impression someone had gone to bed and forgot to turn the TV off.

The seats in the BOK are blue which was prominent with no one sitting in there. Even half the arena floor was empty. It’s estimated the attendance in the 19,000-seat arena may have been as low as 6,000. In case you’re a Republican, 6,000 is less than a million.

It was like preparing for a major party so you make 17 bowls of guacamole then no one shows up except your cousin Steve who’s in his 40s, still lives with his mom, only wears Star Trek shirts, and he’s allergic to guacamole.

Republicans will claim the arena was full and White House spokesgoon Kaleigh McEnany will do her best Sean Spicer impression and argue the arena was overflowing. Hell, they started off with six fewer people than expected as six Trump staffers on the team preparing the event tested positive for the coronavirus. It was not a good night for Donald Trump.

The Trump campaign claimed the arena was empty because the media scared Trump supporters away by reporting facts about the coronavirus. They also claimed, Brad Parscale in particular, that Black Lives Matter protesters were blocking the entrances. Before the event, the press reported there were about 200 protesters (who Trump called thugs). They also reported that no entrances were blocked.

Before the event, Donald Trump threatened protesters. That didn’t work either. Donald Trump had a very bad embarrassing night. It was like running for class president and nobody voted for you except for cousin Steve.

As it turns out, Donald Trump and his campaign got rolled by TikTok users and fans of Korean pop music. What? A prank to register for tickets went viral by TikTok users which soon went over to K-Pop Twitter. Thousands of teens who haven’t been able to march and can’t vote protested by pranking the Trump campaign. It worked. They should have told old man Trump it was a costume party just to see what would happen.

With the success of this prank, you can expect more throughout the campaign. I expect different tactics as today’s teens are creative. The irony here is they’re hitting a bully and you know what happens when you hit the bully back? He goes crying in his bunker.

The zoomers were able to generate and promote this prank while keeping it off the mainstream internet. They would delete their posts 24-48 hours after creating them, thus being quiet about it and keeping the Trump team from finding out what was going on. 4chan can only dream of being this effective.

I personally signed up for tickets with no intention of going but I wasn’t playing a prank. I wanted to see if I could still get tickets after the campaign claimed they had given out more than the arena held. I got tickets. Unfortunately, since I had to register, I also got texts and emails from the Trump campaign. I blocked the texts but I’m still getting the emails.

Donald Trump has been claiming enthusiasm for his campaign. According to John Bolton’s book, Donald Trump believes the public wants him to serve more than two terms. He’s been claiming Joe Biden doesn’t have any momentum. On Saturday night, the wind went out of his sails.

Crowd sizes are important to Donald Trump. They’re one of his greatest lies. Even when he does have giant crowds, he lies about their size. He’ll lie about this one, too, as he conducts a rampage over it behind the scenes. So much leftover guac. On Monday, he’ll probably have a new campaign manager. Campaigns usually undersell and hope to overperform. Brad Parscale oversold and underperformed. Why would you keep a guy who got rolled by meddling kids? Ruh-roh, Parscale.

Donald Trump has many more rallies planned between now and election day. He might have to get used to smaller than expected crowds because he’ll never outsmart the TikTok gang.

And he might wanna prepare for a smaller than expected turnout for him on election day.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Dying On Tulsa Time


cjones06232020

Tulsa, Oklahoma, June 20, 2020. Come for the Trump hate. Leave with the Trump virus. Either way, you’re one infected sycophantic Kool-Aid goose-stepping troglodyte.

Donald Trump does not care about his supporters. If you’re one of them, he does not care about you. The proof of this is him holding a rally today that he admits will infect some people. That’s probably why everyone attending today’s hate rally has to sign a waiver clearing Donald Trump of legal liability if they catch the coronavirus. How stupid do you have to be? Oh yeah. You’re a Trump supporter. You’re pretty damn stupid.

The rally, which was originally scheduled for yesterday but moved by Trump after being pressured to not to be so obviously racist by holding it on Juneteenth, will be a cesspool for the virus. If you ask any health expert if they would attend, the answer is always no. Sometimes, it’s “Hell fucking no.”

The best health advice for attending today’s hate rally in Tulsa is don’t.

There will be 19,000 people jam-packed into the arena. Social distancing will be impossible. It will be indoors where everyone is shouting. Most won’t wear masks because Donald Trump doesn’t and they all believe it’s a conspiracy. Donald Trump believes people only wear masks to stick it to him which surprised me to learn that my wearing a mask had anything to do with Donald Trump. White House Spokesgoon Kaleigh McEnany said she won’t wear a mask out of “personal reasons.” Those reasons being, she’s afraid of upsetting Trump.

And before you say, “But Black Lives Matter protesters gathered in large numbers,” let me tell you the difference with that. They were outside. They were constantly moving (ask my feet). And, from my experience, most were wearing masks.

The site of the rally is a stupid choice. Cases of coronavirus are rising in the state despite Mike Pence and Donald Trump lying and claiming they were going down. Oklahoma is ranked 46th when it comes to health. But the virus being spread by the Trump hate rally won’t just stay in Oklahoma. Dumbass Trump lovers have traveled far and wide to come to this shit. They’ve been in line for the past week to hear Donald Trump praise himself and tell lies.

Scientists, who Dr. Nuke-a-Hurricane-Drink-some-Bleach-Windmill-Cancer doesn’t listen to, believe at least 800 to 1,000 people will contract covid-19 at this hate rally. They’ll take the virus home and back to their communities and share it with everyone they come into contact with. Donald Trump does not care.

And the really bad thing about this is Donald Trump does not need this rally to help his election. He’s not in any danger of losing Oklahoma, or other nearby states like Arkansas and Nebraska, to Joe Biden. This is purely for Donald Trump’s ego. Donald Trump loves your hate and he will risk your life to hear you express it. He will risk your life for applause.

You’re not just risking your life when you attend this rally. You’re threatening your nation by bringing this virus back…which actually hasn’t left yet. Good job, patriots.

Donald Trump is partly responsible for the number of deaths in this nation from this virus. He doesn’t feel any guilt about that because he is a selfish asshole and is willing to risk lives today. Everyone in line is in line to die for Donald Trump. How racist do you have to be to die for a racist?

Donald Trump, because he is an idiot, is also risking his own life. Elderly people have a more difficult time with the coronavirus and in case you haven’t noticed, Donald Trump is a geezer. He’s not even a healthy geezer because he thinks humans are like batteries and exercise depletes our energy. Again, hater of science. So this Big-Mac-Eating codger is willing to let 19,000 people shout their germs all over him while they’re all together in a covered petri dish.

In two weeks, you’re going to hear about new cases of coronavirus that was caught at this rally. And for what? Donald Trump is going to lose this election. He’ll be on a golf course hate tweeting while a lot of supporters will be in graves.

You want to die for Donald Trump who’s not worth dying for? Fine. But don’t risk my life too because I don’t think Donald Trump’s worth dying for…and neither are you.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Hater Waiver


cjones06172020

Against the advice of health officials, the city of Tulsa, and a lot of people who are a lot smarter than he is, Donald Trump is proceeding with his hate rally in Oklahoma, now scheduled for June 20 after caving in to pressure not to display his racism by having it on Juneteenth.

Donald Trump is being advised not to host this rally because the coronavirus pandemic isn’t over yet. Seriously, we should not host political rallies until Waffle House is allowing people to sit at the bar to order their covereds and smothereds. They’re not doing that yet, are they?

The Trump campaign says they’re hosting this hater rally in Oklahoma because the numbers are going down in that state…but they’re not. Donald Trump continues to deny the pandemic is as bad as it really is. It’s a pandemic he initially called a “Democratic hoax.” He refuses to wear a mask and sends out a message to his followers, masks are not required, which has made many of them believe masks are a form of government control (drink more Ovaltine). He wants his rallies packed to the roofs and his campaign claims (haha) that over 300,000 people have requested tickets for Tulsa’s venue which seats 19,000 (I signed up yesterday for two tickets, and I got them. They’re still giving out tickets. No. I’m not going to Tulsa).

And despite scoffing at the danger of the coronavirus, the campaign is taking the legality of it seriously. If you’re one of the 300,000 (HAHAHAHAHA) Trump supporters planning to attend his first hate rally since the pandemic started, Donald Trump wants you to sign a waiver. This waiver frees him of liability in case while attending his hate rally, you catch…wait for it…the coronavirus.

Asking Trump supporters to sign a waiver freeing Donald Trump of liability in case they catch a virus he’s claiming they’re not in danger of catching is unethical, hypocritical, and just a downright shitty thing to do. What an asshole. And yet, I don’t blame him.

Why don’t I blame him for this? I’m going to tell you.

Trump supporters have to overlook a lot. They have to be hypocrites. They have to defend “law and order” and “patriotism” while their dude is a treasonous criminal. They have to believe Donald Trump supports the military while he disparages Gold Star families and P.O.W.s. They have to believe the guy is smart even though he thinks if we stop testing for coronavirus, then nobody will catch it. And maybe that’s what you should do if you feel a little sickish after attending his hate rally. Don’t take a test. You’ll be fine.

A family member of mine, who is a Trump supporter, accused me of doing nothing but drawing cartoons that are hateful and divisive…while he supports Donald Trump who calls peaceful protesters “terrorists” and journalists the “enemy of the American people.”

If you’re a Trump supporter, you have to overlook he’s not a good businessman who has bankrupted casinos, an industry where your customers budget how much money they’re going to lose to you for nothing in return. They have to overlook he’s a grifter who steals from charity. They have to overlook he wants to hump his daughter. They have to overlook he has five children from three wives.

Donald Trump supporters have to overlook he’s stupid and nothing more than a reality TV show host. They have to be fine that he brags about committing sexual assault and pays off Playmates and pornstars through dummy corporations. They have to be cool that while he demands their loyalty, he returns none. They have to overlook his hair.

Trump supporters have to overlook he loves dictators, most especially Vladimir Putin. Right now, they’re overlooking the fact he hasn’t condemned Putin or issued a statement on Russia sentencing an American to prison for 16 years after a sham trial. They have to overlook that Donald Trump does not defend our country.

In addition to all that, you have to overlook that Donald Trump played down the coronavirus which led to over 100,000 deaths and over 40 million lost jobs. Unfortunately for Donald Trump, none of those people signed a waiver.

To support Donald Trump, you have to ignore he’s a liar who’s told over 16,000 lies.

If you support Donald Trump, you have sacrificed dignity, integrity, ethics, morals, principles, sanity, empathy, honesty, sense of fairness, and the ability to be reasonable. You have to be a crazy asshole who applauds and laughs at cruelty.

So, I don’t blame Donald Trump in wanting you, despite your sycophantic and cultist loyalty, to sign a waiver because in supporting Donald Trump, you have all the qualities of an untrustworthy asshole.

Just be sure to make the “X” large enough to be legible.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Trumping To Tulsa


cjones06152020

Donald Trump isn’t good at being subtle. Probably because he’s not very smart and he’s such hardcore racist, it’s hard to hide. When the man sends out a dog whistle, it’s not just the dogs who hear it. Everyone hears it and it’s the dogs who deny he ever sent it.

Donald Trump has decided to resume his hate rallies. Where will the hater-in-chief conduct his first post-pandemic rally? Tulsa, Oklahoma (Psst. Republicans, if you hit the ocean, you went in the wrong direction). When? It was scheduled for June 19th, or Juneteenth, the day that marks the end of slavery. Why Tulsa? Because Tulsa is the site of one of the nation’s most horrific attacks on a black community. Wink-wink. Nudge-nudge. Hoooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwlllll!!!!!

On June 19, 1865, Union soldiers arrived in Texas and read the Emancipation Proclamation announcing President Abraham Lincoln had freed the slaves. Texas was the last Confederate state to receive the news. Today, Texas is still the last state that usually receives news. They still haven’t been informed of how creepy and icky Ted Cruz is. But Juneteenth is considered a major holiday by many black Americans and should be designated a federal holiday. It was a good day for this nation which is probably why Donald Trump wants to take a great big orange crap on it.

Donald Trump, the man behind calling for the execution of the Central Park 5, who turned out to be innocent (and he still hasn’t retracted his call for killing the black and Latino boys who were accused), who described countries where brown people come from as “shitholes,” who yelled for four brown women in Congress to “go back to where they came from,” who championed the racist birther movement, who called Mexicans “rapists and murderers,” and said “fine people” were marching among tiki-torch Nazis shouting “blood and soil” and “Jews will not replace us” told Fox News yesterday he’s done more for blacks than any president besides Abraham Lincoln. I think he’s confusing “for” with “to.”

He then said, “did good, although it’s always questionable.” Senator Kamala Harris said Trump holding a rally in Tulsa on Juneteenth, “Isn’t just a wink to white supremacists — he’s throwing them a welcome home party.” Saying that what Lincoln did was “questionable” is a freaking racist bullhorn. Donald Trump claimed he had not realized the meaning of the date but that people should think of the rally as a “celebration.” Fucking bullhorn, people.

He said, “The fact that I’m having a rally on that day, you can really think about that very positively as a celebration. There’s a rally, to me, is a celebration. It’s going to be really a celebration and it’s an interesting date. It wasn’t done for that reason, but it’s an interesting date. But it’s a celebration.”

Donald Trump has been racist America’s champion. He’s campaigning and talking to them. He’s their president, not yours. He’s not my president. My president doesn’t defend Confederate statues and refuses to even consider renaming U.S. military bases named after Confederate soldiers.

Now, Trump has bowed to pressure and is moving his rally from June 19 to June 20. Donald Trump’s failure to recognize the sensitivity is just another glaring example of how he’s failing America during this conversation on race after the cop murder of George Floyd.

He’s called protesters “terrorists.” He’s threatening to invade states and cities (remember when Republicans freaked out claiming Obama was going to invade and take Texas?). He’s calling himself the “law and order” president. He refuses to say systemic racism exists. He’s defending police saying, “99.9 percent of them are great, great people.” He’s created lies and conspiracy theories about antifa which have only proven false. He accused a 75-year-old man of being an “antifa agent provocateur.” He described chokeholds as “innocent” and “perfect.” He literally teargassed peaceful protesters to clear a path so he could walk to stage a photo-op with a Bible.

It’s not like Oklahoma is a swing state or that it’s the one that will push Joe Biden across the 270 electoral vote threshold. Donald Trump won Oklahoma by 36 points in 2016.

Oh, and for his Tulsa hate rally, he’s requiring everyone attending to sign a waiver promising not to sue him if they catch the coronavirus from the rally. Will there be pressure for attendees not to wear masks since Donald Trump refuses to wear one and has downplayed the virus? Why do people need to sign a waiver for something that’s a Democratic hoax?

I can’t think of a better way to stick it to the libs than attending a Trump rally without a mask and catching Covid-19. That’ll show us. I would warn you that by going to a Trump rally, you’re liable to catch something else.

But then again, if you’re going to a Trump rally to support Trump, you probably already got that virus.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Trump Pro-Something-Something Rally


cjones01292020

Sometimes I go a while without having a conversation, not a screaming match, with a member of the Trump cult. For starters, I forget that they don’t realize they’re in a cult.

A couple days ago one of my nephews posted a story from 2017 with a headline that Donald Trump made March 29, Vietnam Veterans Day, an official holiday. Immediately, my spidey sense tingled. It didn’t sound right to me because for starters, I hadn’t heard of it yet. It also didn’t sound right because it seemed to come from a legitimate publication, Military.com. But apparently, Military.com has joined the cult and they don’t put any research into their articles.

So, I told my nephew that it wasn’t an actual holiday. In fact, Obama made the same declaration, recognizing the date as a commemoration, but it was just for 2012. Trump did make it for every year. But still, it’s a commemoration, not a holiday. Why is that? Because Donald Trump, nor any president of the United States of America, is a king. It takes a literal act of Congress to make an official federal holiday. A president can make as many declarations as he wants but they’re all pretty much empty except if you’re a Republican, it’ll get you a headline in Military.com by a reporter and editor who don’t do research.

I explained the act of Congress thing to my nephew because it’d be nice to have someone other than myself, my older brother, and my niece as informed people in our family. The rest are total fucknuts. I tried not to be confrontational and my nephew was cordial in return, but he explained why Trump didn’t make it an official holiday. It’s because Donald Trump didn’t want to give federal workers another free day off.

Again, I explained the act of Congress thing. Nephew understood that but again explained how Trump was looking out for the taxpayers and didn’t make it an official holiday. I let it go. It’s a lost cause. But you see what the cult does, right?

They can’t acknowledge Donald Trump can’t do something on his own. They also make up some bullshit because I guarantee you my nephew (who has met Donald Trump and posted a stomach-churning photo of it on Facebook that I should be commended for not commenting on) never heard him say he’s going to commemorate Vietnam Veterans Day, but not make it an official holiday in order to save taxpayers’ money. But he believes Donald Trump isn’t who Donald Trump really is, and instead sees him as someone who cares about him.

Here’s the thing. Donald Trump does not care about you. Donald Trump only cares about Donald Trump. The people who don’t get that are those in the Trump cult, like members of the pro-life movement.

Donald Trump visited an anti-choice, pro-women-persecution rally and the fucknuts went nuts. Trump spoke for 13 minutes and as usual, sang his own praises. He said, “Unborn children have never had a stronger defender in the White House.” And he claimed, “They are coming after me because I am fighting for you.” No, you orange glowing idiot. We’re coming after you because you’re a racist conman tearing the nation apart and you’re trying to steal another election with the help of Russia.

The anti-choice fuckos love Donald Trump because he does what they do. He lies about abortion (like he does about everything else). He makes false claims about abortion laws, like a New York law that “would allow a baby to be ripped from the mother’s womb right up until delivery” or that Virginia Governor Ralph Northam would “execute a baby after birth.” Those are lies. Anti-choice people are huge Project Veritas fans, the outlet that creates fake videos on Planned Parenthood and other issues. They’re gotcha! videos they have to manipulate. But like pointing out facts about Donald Trump, the cult ignores facts about Veritas too.

Donald Trump, who once described himself as “very pro-choice,” doesn’t care about abortion any more than he cares about Vietnam Veterans. Donald Trump was grandstanding to feed his base. And it works because his base is stupid.

There were memes and thank-yous all over social media yesterday to Donald Trump for being the first president to visit a “pro-choice” rally. But let me point something out to you. He’s also the first president to support a Russian leader’s bullshit over U.S. intelligence agencies’ facts, which is something no Soviet leader ever received during the Cold War. He’s the first president to meet with a leader of North Korea, thus legitimizing him and his brutal regime.

Congratulations, anti-choice fucknuts. You have now received the same credibility and legitimacy as Kim Jong Un. Use it wisely.

And why did I use the Klan for this reference? Because Donald Trump is a racist and when it comes to the “pro-life” movement and the KKK, tomayto-tomahto.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Read The Transcript


cjones11112019

Imagine you’re sitting on a jury and you really want the defendant to be innocent. So, when a witness gives a damaging testimony, you just decide you’re not going to listen to him. That’s Lindsey Graham.

Lindsey Graham said if there was evidence or testimony spelling out there was a quid pro quo, then it would be very concerning. So, after transcripts of witnesses’ testimony were released over the past two days, Graham said he wasn’t going to bother listening to any of it.

After a president is impeached, the Senate holds a trial to decide if the president should be removed from office. Lindsey Graham would be a juror if Trump is impeached. Lindsey has already decided Trump is innocent, or at least shouldn’t be held accountable, and won’t even bother to do his job and listen to the evidence. He won’t read the transcripts.

Donald Trump tells everyone to read the transcript of his phone call. During his Kentucky hate rally, the Trump campaign got the attendees standing behind Trump to wear T-Shirts with the slogan “Read The Transcript!”

This is a huge step forward for Trump sycophants. “Read the transcript” contains four syllables. Usually, they can’t do more than three, evidenced by “space force,” “lock her up,” “send them back,” and “build the wall.” They didn’t start a “read the transcript” chant, but I like to think if it came up, they could have powered their way through the four syllables. Or maybe it would have been like when a crowd can’t coordinate and it fails the wave.

I also think it’s nice that a Trump crowd was able to coordinate with everyone wearing white, and nobody was wearing a bedsheet or a Klan hood. Way to go!

However, Trump and his supporters are only basing their defense on T-Shirt slogans and not the transcript of his phone call. First off, if you read the “transcript” of his call, you will discover there is a quid pro quo and Trump is asking a foreign government to go after a political opponent. Everyone is focused on the quid pro quo, which is bribery and extortion, but it’s not required for Trump to be breaking the law and be deserving of impeachment. The simple act of asking a foreign government to go after his opponent should demand that Congress impeach Trump.

The other act of withholding money from Ukraine that was appropriated by Congress, and then asking that nation to help your campaign, is another offense which should require Trump’s immediate removal. And then there’s the whole obstruction thing.

The second thing about the shirts is that the wearers demanding that we “read the transcript” haven’t read the transcript. If they had, they would have “read” at the very top that it’s NOT A TRANSCRIPT!!!! No. It’s a summary. It’s edited. It’s been taken apart and put back together. It’s what the Trump administration wants us to see and even then, it’s still damaging.

If Trump supporters really want to get to the facts of the case, they’ll read the actual transcripts of the witnesses’ testimonies. Now, these are a lot longer than the summary of Trump’s phone call, and since it’s not a Trump transcript, some of the words are big. It’s not “Dick and Jane” or “Curious George,” which is more along the speed for Trump supporters. But “Curious George” would be a good start for the Trump cult, because they could use a little curiosity.

But, let’s help Trump supporters out.

See Donald. See Donald lie. See Donald ask Ukraine for stuff. See Donald break the law. See Donald talk about Donald. See Donald spin. See Donald not understand what Donald is talking about. See Donald have a temper tantrum. See Donald obstruct justice. See Donald get impeached. See Donald go to jail. See Nancy win.

Here’s the thing, Trump sycophants and assorted fucknuts: If you wanna wear a T-Shirt telling people to read, maybe you should learn to read for yourself first. But, hey. Congrats for going to a Trump rally and getting a free T-Shirt. It kinda sums up the entire Trump presidency for you.

Donald Trump was elected president and I didn’t get a wall, but I got a free T-Shirt.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.