Nom Nom Politics

If you’re going to dine on Trump, the finest chefs recommend marinating for 24 hours in ketchup and covfefe. While some may enjoy Trump with some fava beans and a nice chiante, I personally would need a lot of hot sauce. A LOT of hot sauce.

So, in case you’re a liberal, you may not have heard this story. If you are a conservative, it’s probably the only thing you’ve read over the past week. Nearly every MAGA political cartoonist has covered it. One of the goose-stepping troglodytes even did two cartoons in a row on the subject. So what happened?

President Biden was at a war memorial in Pennsylvania last week. In case you’re a Republican, a war memorial is often a site of graves of people your Dear Leader would call suckers and losers and would never visit if it was raining. If it’s a memorial on a battlefield, he would say it was interesting, horrible, vicious, and beautiful while giving a history lesson on the Leprechaun generals who said, “Never fight uphill, me boys.”

But Biden was at this war memorial and spoke of his Army Air Corps aviator uncle, Second Lt. Ambrose J. Finnegan Jr. Or as he would refer to him, Uncle Bosie. This is better than the Corn Pop story. Biden spoke of Uncle Bosie being “shot down” over Papua New Guinea in World War II. Biden said, “They never found the body because there used to be — there were a lot of cannibals for real in that part of New Guinea.”

And with that, Republicans were off and running telling everyone that Biden claimed his uncle was eaten by cannibals. Except, Biden didn’t explicitly claim his uncle was eaten by cannibals. He put it out there that being eaten by cannibals was a possible explanation of why savory Uncle Bosie’s remains were never recovered.

Biden got several details wrong and that’s probably because of the way the story was told by his family over the years. Delectable Uncle Bosie wasn’t shot down. The plane crashed due to mechanical malfunction. Tantalizing Uncle Bosie wasn’t flying the plane. The plane crashed into the ocean. One person survived and three other crew members, including the succulent Uncle Bosey, were never found.

The Prime Minister of Papua New Guinea (PNG) was offended and said, “We’re not cannibals. We don’t eat people…anymore.” OK, that’s not exactly what he said, but he was offended. But Biden is right in that there were cannibals in that area at the time delicious Uncle Bosey’s plane crashed. But one expert on the history of PNG said the cannibals at the time were very choosy and wouldn’t eat “any white guy falling from the sky.” Who can blame them? You don’t know where that white guy’s been. I’m the same way. I don’t ever order boneless wings because they’re not boneless. I’m picky. There’s probably a stronger likelihood that sumptuous Uncle Bosey was eaten by fishes rather than by humans. Unless of course, he ran into cannibals who aren’t picky, like people who put ketchup on hotdogs or pineapple on pizza.

I don’t buy the explanation for Biden telling this story on dementia because he’s always been telling crazy stuff like this. It’s what Joe Biden has always done. And even if it’s far-fetched, there’s a greater likelihood of yummy Uncle Bosey being eaten by cannibals than of his plane crashing at one of Donald Trump’s Revolutionary War airports.

Uncle Bosey is an American hero, the type of person Donald Trump would call a sucker and a loser. And if Uncle Bosey was captured, Trump would say, “I like people who aren’t captured” and that he was only a hero because he was captured.

Anyway, I think Donald Trump would taste like orange chicken, but not like the orange chicken from Panda Express because that stuff is actually very good. It’s the only thing they do well, but it’s good.

Creative note: I’m probably the only liberal cartoonist who’s drawn a cartoon on Biden’s cannibals statement.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies and you can order yours, signed by me, for $45.00. You can pay through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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