Swiftie Conspiracy

“People throw rocks at things that shine” are lyrics from one of Taylor Swift’s songs. So not only is she a lyrical genius, a brilliant businesswoman, a trendsetter, Time Magazine’s Person of the Year, and the artist with the highest-grossest tour ever, she’s clairvoyant. Taylor Swift shines and the goons are throwing rocks at her.

At first, it was merely hatred at seeing her at games. And how long is she shown on screen during a three-hour football game? During the Chief’s AFC championship-winning game against the Ravens, Taylor was shown on screen four times for a total of 32 seconds.

After my Butthurt Bowl cartoon, I got a few replies from people I previously considered rational saying they were tired of seeing Taylor Swift on their TVs for 32 seconds during three-hour football games and claimed the relationship was fake for marketing. Viewership is up for games Swift attends, even if they show her on screen for less than a minute, and experts in something or other claim that she’s added millions in brand value to the NFL. But if the relationship is fake, how would that work out? Did one agent call another and set up a meet-and-greet? And I really don’t think Travis and Taylor are that good of actors. After all, Taylor was in the Cats movie.

I’ve seen other comments claim that Swift, who is a billionaire, is only dating Kelce, who made around $14 million this season, for his money. This is another great example of why Republicans suck at budgets. C’mon, guys. She’s not Melania.

And now we have conspiracy theories. Fox News Jesse Watters floated the possibility that Swift is a Pentagon asset. This is another example that Fox News is not a legitimate news outlet.

Failed presidential candidate and conspiracy theorist Vivek Ramaswamy, who believes Jan. 6 was an FBI job and that Trump won the 2020 election, claimed the NFL fixed the championship game so the Chiefs would win and that Swift will come out during the Super Bowl halftime show and endorse President Biden. Vivek also said Taylor and Travis are an “artificially culturally propped-up couple” and their relationship will not last beyond the fall. This is another example that proves Vivek Ramaswamy is an obnoxious idiot troll.

Far-right goon Benny Johnson claimed Taylor Swift “is an op” and wrote on X, “It’s all fake. You’re being played.” How does that work if she’s an “op”? She shows up at games and then what? There were over 70,000 people in the Baltimore stadium during the Chiefs/Ravens game. Are they all ops?

Fake journalist, self-described Islamophobe, and proud bigot Laura Loomer said, “The Democrats’ Taylor Swift election interference psyop is happening in the open. It’s not a coincidence that current and former Biden admin officials are propping up Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce. They are going to use Taylor Swift as the poster child for their pro-abortion GOTV Campaign.” These goons believe registering voters is “election interference.” Also, you will hear the word “psyop” a lot with these people. They just learned the word and added it to their talking points. They’re going to “psyop” the fuck out of this.

Mike Crispi, a host for Salem Media, which is a so-called Christian and conservative outlet, said, “The NFL is totally RIGGED for the Kansas City Chiefs, Taylor Swift, Mr. Pfizer… all to spread DEMOCRAT PROPAGANDA. Calling it now: KC wins, goes to Super Bowl, Swift comes out at the halftime show and ‘endorses’ Joe Biden with Kelce at midfield. It’s all been an op since day one.”

Others who have jumped on this bullshit parade are conspiracy theorist Jack Posobiec and mental nutcase Roseanne Barr.

Jared Holt, who studies extremism and disinformation for Strategic Dialogue, a non-profit think tank, said, “The individuals and outlets spreading conspiracy theories about Taylor Swift sound ridiculous because they are exactly that. But they are also among the leading sources of information for modern conservatives, and they have the financial backing of Republican elites to spread exactly this kind of nonsense.” I think he means the leading sources for “misinformation.”

Holt added, “To me, it’s a sign of just how far gone and unconcerned with reality conservative media is today, and it makes you wonder what they’re actually trying to accomplish here.”

But why are they doing this? What did Taylor Swift do that was so egregious beyond supporting her boyfriend by going to his football games?

The first reason beyond going to games is that Taylor did endorse Joe Biden in 2020. She also opposed Marsha Blackburn’s Senate campaign in Tennessee. Last September, she used her Instagram account to encourage her 272 million followers to register to vote on National Voter Registration Day. The nonpartisan nonprofit Vote.org recorded over 35,000 registrations from this and said it was a 23 percent jump over 2022. Vote.org said the number of 18-year-olds registered was more than double that in 2022. Again, Republicans are trying to suppress voters, not add more. To them, Taylor registering voters is a sinister Democratic plot to interfere in the presidential election. Most of the time, Taylor Swift keeps her political views to herself.

Republicans believe entertainers should keep their political views to themselves unless they’re Ted Nugent, Kevin Sorbo, Chachi, James Woods, Angelina Jolie’s dad, or Roseanne Barr.

Travis Kelce also did an ad for Pfizer (it’s hilarious) which Republicans believe is evil, yet Trump’s lack of attention to the COVID-19 pandemic killing hundreds of thousands is somehow OK.

It gets worse and you better sit down for this. Travis supports….Black Lives Matter! Eek! He was one of the few white players in the NFL to kneel during the national anthem to protest racial injustice. He spoke out with his quarterback, Patrick Mahomes, against the police shooting of Jacob Blake. He participated in the film Black Boys, which focuses on the social and emotional effects of racism against Black men. The decal he chose to wear on his helmet as a gesture against social injustice and racism has Tamir Rice’s name on it. Suddenly, Travis Kelce just became my favorite player.

But perhaps the best reason Republicans and MAGAts are creating conspiracy theories about all of this is because they’re the party of fear. Their entire mode of operation is to scare people. Have you ever heard a speech by Donald Trump? Have you ever seen a tweet by Lauren Boebert or Marjorie Taylor Greene? Add Taylor dating Travis to the long list of fears which also includes immigrants, drag queens, black history lessons, transgenders, the gay agenda, and Michelle Obama’s bare arms running for president in 2028.

To end this on a fun note, a lot of conservatives are looking for their own Taylor Swift and many have decided the person for that job is…put the down the coffee… Lauren Boebert.

We’ve seen Bobo’s work in a theater but I really don’t think that’s what they have in mind.

Music note: I listened to Taylor Swift because I’m a Swiftie.

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