Sympathy For The Devil

What a drag it is getting old.

Many years ago when I was much younger, I was a bit of a stinker. OK, I still am, but back then, I made fun of old people for the simple act of getting old. I used to tease one of my editors, Rupert, back when I worked at The Panolian (my first newspaper job) in Mississippi about his age, and when he hit the ripe old age of 40, I pulled a prank on him.

This was back when I thought 37 was ancient which was Rupert’s age when he hired me. So the night before his 40th birthday, I went to the newspaper building after hours and placed a walker I had gotten ahold of and put it in his office with balloons attached. I think I may have also left a card. When he discovered the walker the next morning, he thought it was hilarious and laughed and laughed and laughed.

OK, maybe that last part isn’t true, but he didn’t fire me and everyone else in the building got a big laugh out of it. But now at my age, I’m thinking maybe it wasn’t that funny. Now when I meet a 40-year-old, I think, “You lucky son of a bitch.”

So I don’t begrudge Pete Townsend for writing, “I hope I die before I get old” because he wrote it before he thought he’d ever get old. He wrote it when he was young and believed he was invincible. I also don’t hold it against Mick Jagger for a quote in a 1975 People Magazine article, “I’d rather be dead than sing Satisfaction when I’m 45.” Mick was 31 when he made that statement and for Mick, 31 was a long time ago. Hell, I feel that 31 was a long time ago for me.

Mick Jagger is 80 years old and if you listen to critics of President Joe Biden, then 80 is too old to do much of anything other than eat prunes and shout at squirrels…unless you’re Mick Jagger.

Mick and The Rolling Stones just released a new album and the first single from it, “Angry,” isn’t half bad. Now, the Stones will hit the road in April for a 16-city tour across the U.S. and Canada. Among the hits mentioned on the website that concert attendees can expect to hear is…Satisfaction.

The Stones aren’t pretending they’re young. They know they’re old and in fact, the tour is being sponsored by the AARP. It’s not ironic that the Stones are old and being sponsored by the organization formerly titled the American Association of Retired Persons. The AARP sponsoring the Stones’ tour is good marketing and the band knowing its audience. Eligibility to join the AARP starts at 50, which doesn’t seem very old anymore. Green Day, Pearl Jam, and the Foo Fighters can join the AARP. The only thing ironic about the AARP sponsoring the Rolling Stones is that the Rolling Stones are not retired. In fact, I’m a member even though I’m not retired.

I don’t expect President Biden to do a 16-city rock tour with Keith Richards, but he’d have a much better shot at pulling it off than Donald Trump, who’s only three years younger than the president but in much worse health. Donald Trump needs to take a golf cart to get to his golf cart.

Old Man Biden can’t sing and dance around like Mick, but what he can do is rescue the economy that Donald Trump destroyed. Old Man Biden can add 13.2 million jobs. Old Man Biden can roll out vaccines for COVID just a couple months after taking office despite the previous administration not leaving any plans for it whatsoever. Old Man Biden can get Congress to pass a $1 trillion infrastructure bill, which Trump promised but never delivered. Old Man Biden can increase the size of NATO. Old Man Biden can rally and lead the free world to support Ukraine from an illegal Russian invasion. Old Man Biden can lower the cost of prescription drugs. Old Man Biden can put the first Black woman on the Supreme Court. And Old Man Biden can kick Donald Trump’s ass because he did it once before.

Old Man Trump can’t climb stairs. Hopefully, there’ll be a golf cart to take him to his prison cell. That would be a gas gas gas.

Music note: Of course, I listened to the Rolling Stones while drawing this.

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