Bye-Bye Mittens

Senator Mitt Romney says he’s retiring and leaving the future of the Republican Party to the next generation. Unfortunately, the next generation of the GOP is in a theater jacking off her date.

We had a good time making fun of Mitt, didn’t we? He was a majorly out-of-touch venture capitalist millionaire who owned multiple homes with car elevators and I think he named all four of his sons Tag. As governor of Massachusetts, he helped create a public health care plan, and then as the 2012 presidential candidate he opposed public health care plans. He’s a milk-drinking Mormon who strapped his dog to the roof of his car and didn’t see anything wrong with it. But we were laughing at Mitt Romney at the same time we believed we’d never see a president worse than George W. Bush in our lifetimes, or at least not in the next four years.

Yes, it was easy to make fun of Mitt and call him “Mittens” as though he was the worst Republicans could get. Now, we need more of Mitt.

Mitt, who is 76, is not going to run for reelection to the Senate saying the next generation should assume leadership. Unfortunately, the next generation of Republicans is still up 77-year-old Donald Trump’s ass. Mitt mentioned that today’s GOP doesn’t believe in the Constitution anymore… yeah, Mitt….those who don’t believe in the Constitution are the next generation.

You got the Jim Gym Jordans, Matt Gaetzs, Marjorie Taylor Greenes, and the handsy Lauren Boeberts holding the Speaker of the House hostage, who’s more than willing to be their hostage as long as he maintains his leadership position.

Before he was a senator, Mitt Romney mocked Trump and went after his 2016 campaign for president, pointing out just how unqualified he was. Then as Senator from Utah, he marched with Black Lives Matter, told Josh Hawley the insurrection was partly his fault, voted to impeach Trump, and said Hawley and Ted Cruz “put politics above the interests of liberal democracy and the Constitution.” Of J.D. Vance, he said, “I don’t know that I can disrespect someone more than J.D. Vance.”

He claims Mitch McConnell told him that Trump is an “idiot” and that Romney “can say the things that we all think.”

Mitt says that many Republican senators privately share with him that they really do hate Trump but they have to kiss his ass or they’ll be voted out of office. And those are the Republicans he’s leaving us with, cowards.

The Republican Party is now a cult, a cult Mitt refuses to join. He could have gone the Ted Cruz route and crawled up Trump’s ass after he insulted his wife, but Mitt has something most of the Republican Party doesn’t have. Integrity. Now, you have rising stars in the GOP who are high school dropouts and vape while giving their dates a hand job in a theater.

At the last State of the Union, Mitt told lying rep George Santos, “You don’t belong here.” Unfortunately, Mitt doesn’t belong in today’s Republican Party, but like him is needed in the Senate and in politics in general.

By the way, there should be a punk band named “Lauren Boebert Handjob.”

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