Mitt Romney

Roughing It, Volume 32


I’m posting this on a train. Whee, trains!

I drew this batch of roughs the week before last, which feels like a year ago. Time in politics and news has a different measurement than reality.

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This is the rough for the cartoon I eventually drew for CNN. It turned into…

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…this. I like drawing Romney.

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This was before I drew the many heads on a pike cartoon which I think turned out better.

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This was the first rough I sketched out last week. I intended to do it for my clients but then I got bogged down in other stuff. I even forgot to draw the guy in the second panel as Bernie Sanders. So anyway, that round head thing in the second panel was supposed to be Bernie Sanders.

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I think this might be the plan.

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Pretty much. I was afraid this was too obvious.

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I like this format and I’ve only used it a couple times in my career. Funny thing, I never saw anyone else use it either until I used it once. Then it popped up here and there. Fuckers.

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This is the one that turned into a finished cartoon which I liked a lot. But first, I threw it at an editor. He said it was kinda dark. Because I like to screw with people, I touched it up.

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In my reply, I asked, “better?” He didn’t answer.

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I heard this from Trump supporters. What was hateful and divisive about Trump’s SOTU? This is why I feel it’s OK to make fun of Trump supporters. I totally meant to draw this cartoon but again, other shit kept getting in the way. Now its time has passed and I drew another cartoon on Rush Limbaugh a couple days ago.

Which rough or roughs do you think I should have finished and published?

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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The Republican God


CNN02092020

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

I’m going to use this cartoon to digress and rant on something that kinda annoys me.

The thing that annoys me about Trump supporters is that they have to pretend Donald Trump is a lot of things he’s not. Self-made billionaire, smart, honest, great negotiator, non-racist, not corrupt, etc, etc. In fact, I have never heard or read a pro-Trump argument or defense that didn’t contain at least one lie. So, when I hear Christians and Evangelicals praise Trump, I know they’re phonies.

A couple of my Facebook “friends” shared a link to an article about why a Christan can support Donald Trump. Of course, neither of these fine, upstanding Christian men care that the article contains bullshit. The piece, “How Can You Follow Jesus And Support Trump,”  written by a Shane Idleman, is total bullshit. The article is in a publication called Christian Voices which obviously has a low standard for journalism and not something on my regular reading list.

In the article, our author argues he’s in favor of legal immigration but only if the immigrants are “god-fearing.” So right away, he’s in favor of discrimination. He’s too stupid to realize he’s making that argument. My friends are too stupid to realize it also. If you’re arguing that you only want people entering this nation who believe in what you believe, how long until you say you only want people who look like you? But, it’s his choice of what issue to focus on when it comes to defending Trump. He makes the claim that Donald Trump isn’t separating families or putting kids into cages. That’s not just a lie. It’s a lie racists use.

Mr. Christian writing man, if you’re such a great follower of Jesus, then why are you a liar? Yes, Donald Trump separated families after they crossed the border. Yes, he put kids in cages. They even forced minor children to go to court alone. It was part of his policy. He’s on record advocating for this. His Attorney General at the time it began, Jeff Sessions, made a speech announcing the policy and giggled about it to the point I thought they were going to have to administer oxygen to the racist elf. If this policy didn’t exist, then why did a court order them to stop doing it? You’re a liar.

Nowhere in the article does he mention Donald Trump lying, his love for Putin and cheating in an election, grabbing pussies, his racism, or stealing money from a children’s cancer charity. The guy would rather complain that the media is out to get Trump and his supporters. But there’s the thing about that argument, they never point what the media is lying about. Or, at least not successfully. There’s also an argument about socialism which is another huge lie unless the writer is totally ignorant on the subject, which is possible. So once again, another Trump defense based on lies.

If you have to justify your following of Donald Trump, you’re in the wrong. I don’t have to justify who I vote for or the positions I take. Probably because I’m not a lying piece of shit. If you have to lie to support your political positions, then you’re on the wrong side.

These Christians argue they’re getting judges for supporting Donald Trump. But where in the Bible does it say you can trade in your convictions and principles for stuff? I went to church a lot when I was a kid. Really. I don’t remember that sermon. And the other thing about these judges, our Christian friends don’t care by what means they get their stuff. They don’t care if the seats are stolen (and they stole more than one Supreme Court seat) or that you have to cheat in an election to get them.

The thing is, you never had convictions or principles. You were lying then just like you’re a liar now. But we’ve known that for a long time from your silence on government spending when a Republican is in control or from your love of the death penalty while claiming you’re “pro-life.”

The author says they’re not following a man but a movement. Your movement is a cult. You don’t follow Jesus anymore if you ever did (who, by the way, was a socialist). You follow Donald Trump because he’s your god, which he stated when he claimed he’s the “chosen one.” Guess what. That wasn’t mentioned in the article either.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Menacing Mittens


cjones02122020

Today, Mitt Romney, Republican Senator from Utah and former presidential candidate, voted to convict Donald Trump on one charge of impeachment. Mitt Romney exercised his conscience, dignity, and independence which are all things the Republican Party had thought they had eradicated. I thought they had eradicated it too.

On Wednesday, every single Republican Senator voted to acquit, not exonerate, Donald Trump on the two impeachment charges the House brought up. Romney voted guilty on one of them.

The majority of the Republican Party consists of cowards and sycophants who pretend those traits are virtues. Donald Trump prefers the GOP to be weak and in fear of his wrath which consists of mean tweets. On Wednesday, Mitt Romney displayed a profile in courage, which is extremely rare in Washington. He will be punished.

Donald Trump wanted a totally partisan vote on his impeachment so he could argue he was exonerated, which he will anyway. While Romney was speaking on the floor of the Senate explaining his vote, Trump was canceling a photo-op before the press. Coward.

Donald Trump Jr. tweeted that Romney should be expelled from the party. Fox News host Laura Ingraham threatened to run against him in four and a half years. The flying monkeys are assembling.

Romney explained he took an oath before God. For all the other Republicans, Trump is their god. How dare he.

Romney, while criticizing the Bidens, stated that what they did weren’t crimes. He was shooting down Trump’s defense team’s arguments. He took down another Republican talking point when he said, “The defense argues that the Senate should leave the impeachment decision to the voters. While that logic is appealing to our democratic instincts, it is inconsistent with the Constitution’s requirement that the Senate, not the voters, try the president.” Mitt Romney may be the only Republican in Washington who’s actually read the entire Constitution and understands it.

Then Romney laid out some facts. He said, “The president asked a foreign government to investigate his political rival. The president withheld vital military funds from that government to press it to do so. The president delayed funds for an American ally at war with Russian invaders. The president’s purpose was personal and political. Accordingly, the president is guilty of an appalling abuse of public trust.” Those are all facts.

Romney made another point every Trump sycophant has refused to recognize. “The grave question the Constitution tasked senators to answer is whether the president committed an act so extreme and egregious that it rises to the level of a high crime and misdemeanor. Yes, he did.”

Mitt Romney is not perfect. I’m really glad he wasn’t elected president, and instead, we got four more years for Obama to build a great economy for an old racist white man to inherit and take credit for. Romney has always stood for the 47% and displayed a lack of understanding of working-class and poor Americans. But that doesn’t mean he’s an evil person. That doesn’t mean he’s dishonest or a liar. That just means he’s not the right guy…until now.

He strongly opposed Trump’s candidacy and delivered a speech mocking the future president (sic). After Trump’s election, he had a discussion over frog legs to be Trump’s Secretary of State that really confused everyone. Donald Trump and Mitt Romney eat frog legs? When he was elected to the Senate, no one was expecting him to be a liberal never-Trumper firebrand, but we were hoping for some independence in the GOP. Finally, we got some.

I drew a cartoon and wrote a column last Sunday about the Cowards of Historic Proportions. I wrote there wasn’t one Republican in the Senate who wasn’t a coward. And while some Republicans privately said they voted to acquit Trump out of fear, it turns out there is one who stood up. I wrote history will remember them all as cowards, but Romney will be remembered for his bravery. While Lindsey Graham, Marco Rubio, Susan Collins, Lisa Murkowski, and Mitch McConnell have cemented their places next to the Vichy French, Romney will be next to Margaret Chase Smith. In this case, I like being wrong.

In that column, I wrote, “The founding fathers didn’t put clauses in the Constitution to protect someone like Donald Trump. They put those clauses in to protect our nation from the likes of Donald Trump.” Maybe Mitt Romney read it.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Crate And Peril


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Senator Jeff Merkley, a Democrat from Oregon, visited a detention center in Texas last week and described the facility. He said, “What you have is cyclone fencing and fence posts that look like cages. They look like the way you would construct a dog kennel.”

Jeff Sessions’ Justice Department hit back, saying they don’t employ the use of cages, but use fenced barriers. Basically, they’re cages but they don’t want you to use the word “cage,” and especially not “dog cages.”

Though Merkley saw the cages, security wouldn’t let him, a United States Senator, enter the facility, and eventually the police were called to shoo him away.

A spokesperson for the Administration of Children and Families said Merkley wasn’t allowed in for security reasons and said, “No one who arrives unannounced at one of our shelters demanding access to the children in our care will be permitted, even those claiming to be U.S. Senators.”

Uh, he wasn’t just claiming to be a U.S. Senator. He is a U.S. Senator. On the video, he had to tell the security guard more than once he was a Senator, as the guy didn’t seem like he could comprehend the information.

The Justice Department doesn’t want surprise visits to these facilities, especially if cameras are brought along. They want advance notice so they can clean up the place. It’s kinda like when your landlord wants to come by, but you want a heads up so you can make sure your house doesn’t smell like you own seven cats. As it turns out, Merkley did send a request two days in advance of his visit. Senator Robert Menendez was denied visitation of a facility in California, despite sending a request nine days ahead.

The Senator was attempting to show the American people how the Trump policy of ripping children away from their parents actually looks. The Administration is giddy about arresting anyone for crossing the border illegally, and if children are brought along, they’ll be separated from their parents and crammed inside dog cages.

Trump tweeted blame at the Democrats for his administration stripping children from their parents, despite his party controlling the executive branch, the House, and the Senate. And for good measure, he said they support MS-13. I guess one lie in the tweet wasn’t enough.

The United Nations says the Trump policy violates human rights and is against international law. Nikki Haley fired back the U.N. is practicing hypocrisy by attacking the U.S. while ignoring human rights violations of other members. The condition Haley is suffering from is called whataboutism. It’s very contagious among Trump sycophants, so be careful out there.

The administration says this policy is to prevent illegal border crossings, but that’s a total lie. Many of these separations have occurred at border crossing stations with immigrants requesting asylum. That is not an illegal crossing.

While blaming Democrats for his policy of separating children from parents by saying they passed “bad legislation,” there are not any laws requiring that parents be separated from their children, and the practice was put in place by his administration. Jeff Sessions loves this kind of stuff. You know, because of the racism. He almost squeals when he talks about it. Chief of Staff John Kelly raised the idea of this policy, you know, because of the racism.

The New York Times found that over 700 children have been ripped from their parents over a period of six months. The American Civil Liberties Union says it’s accelerated, and that over 1,000 have been taken over the past five weeks.

The U.N. created a human rights treaty called Convention of the Rights of a Child, which sets out the civil, political, economic, social, health and cultural rights of children. Only one nation in the world has not ratified the treat. Do you wanna guess which nation that is?

Mitt Romney, who famously strapped the family dog to the roof his car in a crate for a road trip from Massachusetts to Ontario, says he’s more of an immigration hawk than Trump. Despite calling Trump a “conman” in 2016, he said he’ll easily be re-elected in 2020.

Trump’s record on human rights is just one of about 2,000 reasons why that can’t be allowed to happen.

Watch me draw.

Thank you for your support. Reader contributions really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and the First Amendment, and independent journalism while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Scoochin’ For Mittens


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With the announcement that Utah Senator Orrin Hatch would not seek reelection, speculation immediately landed on former Massachusetts governor and 2012 presidential candidate Mitt Romney.

There was also speculation that Hatch had lost his freaking mind when he made comments that the Donald Trump presidency may be the best we’ve ever seen. Trump was pushing Hatch to run for reelection as he’s been a loyal and obedient lap dog for Trump since he won the presidency.

You may also believe that a Senator Mitt Romney is the last thing Trump wants in Washington. During the 2016 campaign, Romney gave the speech of his life in denouncing Donald Trump.

In that speech, Romney said Trump’s promises were as worthless as a degree from Trump University, that he is a fraud, and, “he’s playing the American public for suckers: he gets a free ride to the White House and all we get is a lousy hat.” Ouch. And then, Trump went on to win the nomination, ultimately the White House and Mitt Romney asked for one of those hats.

Romney is not one to stick to morals and convictions. In his 2012 campaign for president against Obama, Romney abandoned every position he ever held in his life to appeal to the conservatism of primary voters. He ran against Obamacare despite being an advocate and governor at the time Massachusetts installed a public healthcare plan, which was the foundation of Obamacare. He also sought out Trump’s endorsement and staged a press conference with the guy. It was already well documented that Trump is a liar and a racist having spent the previous few years engaged in a birther campaign against Obama. That didn’t bother Romney. He obviously felt Trump’s endorsement was more valuable than a degree from Trump University.

After Trump and Putin won the election, Romney went to Trump Tower and did the walk of shame through the lobby, so he could pander for the Secretary of State job. Trump never considered Romney for the job and only used it to force him to kiss his feet. The photos Trump released of their frog leg dinner showed Romney with a facial expression one might also wear while having a rusty catheter inserted.

Shortly after Hatch announced his retirement, Romney changed his location on Twitter from Massachusetts to Utah. I half expected the guy to post a photo of him eating green jello with slices of carrots. They really like jello in Utah. It’s weird.

I don’t have faith Romney will join the Resistance against Trump. It seems every Republican who has questioned Trump’s capability has caved into him. Lindsey Graham is running deflections for Trump, attacking the FBI and wanting charges against the author of the Russia Dossier (despite there not being a crime). Jeff Flake voted to give Trump huge tax cuts. Bob Corker is riding on Air Force One at this very moment kissing Trump’s ring. I don’t expect Romney to act any different. Principled Republicans are a thing of the past.

Years ago, Romney forced his dog, Seamus to ride on the roof of his car while he drove halfway across the country. I don’t expect Trump to force Romney to climb on top of his roof. Romney will volunteer.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

Motley Mittens


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Am I the only one who thinks that Trump might have picked retired Marine general James “Mad Dog” Mattis as his secretary of defense because of his masculine nickname? Macho Man is dead but Balls Mahoney is still available for Donald Trump’s services.

In a speech during the presidential campaign Mitt Romney said “Donald Trump is a phony, a fraud. “His promises are as worthless as a degree from Trump University. He’s playing members of the American public for suckers: He gets a free ride to the White House, and all we get is a lousy hat.”
Romney said that “dishonesty is Donald Trump’s hallmark,” pointing to his “bullying, the greed, the showing off, the misogyny, the absurd third-grade theatrics.”
Now Romney wants the hat.

Of course in 2008 he courted Trump’s endorsement and held a press conference with him. Now he’s eating frog legs and whatever else comes out of Trump’s ass in Trump Tower in an an effort to become secretary of state. Mitt Romney has sold his pride, ethics, principles, credibility, and soul to maybe someday calling Donald Trump his boss. Instead he’ll probably be denied the job and still be Trump’s bitch.

Romney needs to go back and watch the tape of him calling Trump a fraud and pay really close attention.

James Mattis on the other hand might actually be a good pick for secretary of defense, but he should not get that opportunity.

Trump called General Mattis “the closest thing we have to Gen. George Patton.” If you know anything about World War II history you’ll know that’s not a good thing for secretary of defense. Patton was an effective general who was in constant conflict with his superiors and our allies. Donald Trump probably only saw the movie.

Patton slapped a solider, not once but twice, accusing them of being cowards avoiding battle. I wonder how hard he’d slap Trump.

Mattis actually disagrees with Trump on Russia, Syria, the Baltics, Ukraine, the Iran nuclear deal, and torture. All this shows that Trump’s statements should never be taken literally.

The main reason why Mattis should not be secretary of defense isn’t a slam on Mattis at all. There is a federal law that requires anyone serving as secretary of defense to be out of the military for at least seven years. Mattis has been out for three. The last military man who led the department was George C. Marshall and Congress had to create an exception for him and they’ll have to do the same for Mattis.

Congress should not be creating exceptions and new laws to serve Donald Trump. Can you imagine our outlook if another nation stripped civilian control of the military, handed it to a general, and did all this to suit their new leader who wants to strip away press freedom and punish his political opponents?

Our military is designed to be controlled by civilians. The military already takes the largest chunk out of the U.S. budget. Giving a general this position is another step toward becoming an authoritarian state. People ask how a nation can allow that to happen. We’re watching it happen.

Democrats have enough members to filibuster and stop this move. They should use it. It’s nothing personal, General.

I had to google images of wrestling onesies. Take my advice and don’t ever do that. For the love of god, don’t do that. You’re gonna do it now, aren’t you?

Update: While Googling “wrestling onesies” I had also Googled wrestling nicknames. I failed to actually read the articles and instead only read the names and headlines. As it turns out the wrestler named “Balls Mahoney” is also dead. Damn you, 2016!

This morning I received some spam wrestling email. My website gets me some weird stuff (I still get ad popups for lightsabers).I did not learn about the passing of Balls from that. Instead a reader more knowledgeable on wrestling sent me a message about the untimely demise of Mr. Balls. I would like to express my condolences to the entire Balls family. I just hope no one got testy over my mistake.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Riding With Mittens


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One of the more bizarre things that came out of campaign 2012 was Republican nominee once took his dog with his family on a vacation, and during the trip they strapped the dog to the roof of their car. Mitt swears the dog enjoyed the ride. I’m sure he did.

Now the GOP is strapped to the Trump Train and they want off. It’s a little late. They have spent eight years being the party void of ideas except opposing anything President Obama supports. They have basically spent the past two terms in the Obama blaming business.

My friend Christian wrote on this and he put it perfectly. He wrote Trump “illustrates the results of years of right-wing fear mongering, intellectual insulation, and shaming intelligence in favor of group think.” After the rise of the Tea Party, accusing Obama of being a Muslim, Kenyan-born, being on an apology tour, screaming “you lie” during the State of the Union, and even insulting his wife, how can you be surprised that you cultivated an environment that gives you Donald Trump? Another one of my friends, a conservative fellow, blames Obama for Trump. Again, he’s in the business of blaming Obama.

Now Mittens is going to tackle Trump. He has already criticized Trump for not releasing his taxes and thrown out speculations on why which proves again that Republicans are irony impaired. Mitt Romney accepted and basked in the glow of Trump’s endorsement in 2012. Trump is the same guy now he was four years. Romney knew this but didn’t disavow the endorsement. Romney didn’t care about the trail they were blazing. Now they suddenly have issues with it.

The GOP has built a house they can’t save. They might have to burn it down before they can rebuild again.

The only thing missing in this cartoon is room in the crate for Chris Christie.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!