Marjorie’s Obsession

I wonder if the reason Marjorie Taylor Greene’s husband left her is because the role-playing as Hunter Biden was becoming a bit too much for him.

I have to ask that question because Marjorie Taylor Greene is obsessed with Hunter Biden. Sure, every Republican has been totally preoccupied with Hunter since before his father won the election, defeating Donald Trump in what the Department of Homeland Security calls the “most secure election in American history.” You would think that with this obsession Hunter occupied a place in his father’s administration.

Donald Trump had his daughter, Ivanka, and skinny idiot son-in-law Jared Kushner as appointed unpaid advisers during his presidency (sic). Neither one could get a security clearance without the president (sic) overruling the FBI’s multiple rejections. Javanka had zero experience or qualifications for a job in a presidential administration, yet there they were like a turtle on a fence. How’d that turtle get on top of the fence post? Maybe that turtle’s father-in-law owned the fence post, or maybe it was gifted to him by Vladimir Putin. Who knows? Although that turtle could probably get a security clearance a lot easier than Jared. While Javanka were unpaid useless advisers, they made hundreds of millions of dollars from foreign business deals during their time in the Trump White House (sic). Jared worked closely with the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia on arms deals and excusing his murder of a Saudi Washington Post reporter, and when he left the Trump White House, the Crown Prince gave Jared $2 billion as an “investment” in a new business project. Jared is also responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths during the COVID-19 pandemic by using his position in the Trump presidency (sic) to withhold medical supplies from blue states.

Are Republicans in Congress investigating Jared Kushner? Of course not. Instead, they’re investigating Hunter Biden who does NOT have any role in his father’s administration. Republicans have spent the past three years howling about Hunter with all those howls based on rumors, innuendos, debunked lies, and all sorts of various bullshit with most of it stemming from Hunter having foreign business deals. Meanwhile, we KNOW Jared took money from foreign governments. Hell, we KNOW Donald Trump is CURRENTLY taking money from foreign governments. Are we investigating Donald Trump’s business LIV golf deal with Saudi Arabia? That was rhetorical, but no.

In case you haven’t noticed, Donald Trump is a former president (sic) and he’s currently running for president again (sic). Where are the Republican investigations over this? Oh yeah, that’s right. Republicans are too busy investigating Hunter Biden and defending Donald Trump’s law-breaking to investigating Donald Trump’s corruption. Republicans would rather investigate pretend corruption of Democrats than actual right-here-right-now-in-the-real-world Republican corruption.

So yes, Republicans are obsessed with Hunter Biden, but even as locked-onto Hunter as they are, none of them are displaying photos of Hunter Biden’s penis during congressional hearings, except for Marjorie. Most of them are just upset that Twitter wouldn’t allow The New York Post to tweet photos of Hunter’s Penis.

And we thought it was bad when Donald Trump ONLY talked about his penis during a Republican debate (or that time Marco Rubio talked about Trump’s penis during a campaign event. Hey, Nikki Haley laughed). THANK GOD there are no photos of that.

When the Democrats controlled the House, they removed Marjorie Taylor Greene from her committee assignments because she spread antisemitic conspiracy theories and supported death threats against her colleagues. When the Republicans took control, the worst Speaker in the history of the House, Kevin McCarthy (whose first 14 attempts to win the job were, no pun intended…FLACCID), put her on the House Oversight and Accountability Committee, where like that turtle on the fence and Javanka in the White House, she does not belong. And proving she does not belong there, she used her allotted time during a hearing of the House Oversight and Accountability Committee this week to display pictures of Hunter’s penis.

Do you recall a couple years ago when during a hearing about Trump obstructing justice during the Mueller investigation, former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski got upset when a Democrat mentioned that Santa Claus didn’t exist? Corey, who was fired from the Trump Campaign for grabbing a reporter and later disassociated entirely after being accused of groping a campaign donor, scolded a Democrat for saying Santa doesn’t exist because Corey’s four kids were watching. I’m sure that’s true because what child doesn’t want to watch his scumbag father lie and be a total, no pun intended…WANKER in front of Congress?

Saying Santa Claus doesn’t exist upsets Republicans but showing off Hunter Biden’s penis, not so much. Maybe if the photos were of Santa’s penis, then they’d get upset. Santa Claus does exist and to prove it, here’s a photo of his dick. Ho ho ho. That’s how they do it on the North, no pun intended…POLE.

MTG showed off pictures of Hunter’s ding dong arguing they were needed to prove he was guilty of tax fraud. It is widely known that people who wear pants never commit tax fraud. Now dudes, in kilts, you gotta watch out for those guys, but pants-wearing men, they’re alright.

Marjorie got the pics from the laptop a Delaware computer repair guy stole from Hunter and gave to Rudy Giuliani, who’s also a, no pun intended…PRICK. That laptop contained lots of nude selfies and homemade porn.

The night before the hearing on Newsmax, MTG said, “This is actually the evidence that I believe the American people deserve to see.” Evidence to what, that Hunter Biden has a penis and it needs to be investigated? To be constantly bringing up Hunter’s penis, the Republicans’ case against the Bidens must be, no pun intended…LIMP.

Before Fox News fired Tucker Carlson, who is a, no pun intended…KNOB, he showed a photo from the laptop of Hunter being straddled by two women and expressed outrage that there was a poodle in the corner watching the sexual activities. Can we, pardon the pun…NAIL hunter for animal abuse? That dog is probably still in counseling for what it saw that day.

Sean Hannity, who is a, no pun intended…TOOL, tweeted a video from the laptop of a naked Hunter on a waterslide.

All this brings us many questions: What do pictures of Hunter’s wee-wee and his sex life have to do with him not paying taxes? Is there a dick tax I’m not aware of, and if so, are we taxed by inches or girth? Are we taxed by usage? If so, I should probably be expecting a refund soon. And, if cocaine led to Hunter having threesomes and sex on waterslides, why did he quit? Also, when you’re naked on a waterslide, how does your butt not stick to the slide? We might need to appoint a special counsel to get to the, no pun intended…BOTTOM of these questions.

When Melania Trump, who’s married to a total, no pun intended…JERKOFF, stole a speech from Michelle Obama, Democrats didn’t find it necessary to show off her nude photos at congressional hearings, and they’re not, no pun intended…HARD to find.

If Marjorie can’t contain her, no pun intended…BONER for Hunter’s boner, Kevin may have to give her the, no pun intended…SHAFT.

In all seriousness though, Marjorie Taylor Greene is a huge dick. OK, I intended that one.

Creative note: For the title of this blog, I was Googling titles of romance/erotica novels and softcore porn and inadvertently found a lot of movies I think I want to watch.

Also, I wrote and roughed out this cartoon three days ago and sat on it…no, wait. I shelved it. That’s better.

Music note: I listened to Stereophonics.

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