Grandma Boebert

“Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding” – “Flagpole Sitta” by Harvey Danger.

Tyler Boebert, who you may remember from the Boebert gun fetish Christmas card a couple years back, has knocked up his 16-year-old girlfriend, which is only a couple years older than the girls his father flashes his penis to in bowling alleys.

Lauren Boebert, who has three other sons waiting in the wings to knock up teen girls, should have spent less time posing her sons for ammo Christmas cards and more time teaching them how to put condoms on bananas. But Lauren is giddy about being a grandmother at 36 and is using her incoming grandchild to promote rural teen birth rates.

She’s excited that there is a high birth rate among teens in rural areas than in urban areas. Sexually transmitted diseases are also higher in rural areas than in urban.

Boebert made the announcement at CPAC, saying, “There’s something special about rural conservative communities. They value life. If you look at teen pregnancy rates throughout the nation, well, they’re the same, [in] rural and urban areas. However, abortion rates are higher in urban areas. Teen moms’ rates are higher in rural conservative areas because they understand the preciousness of a life that it’s about to be born.”

Yeah, sure. They also lack access to not just birth control but sex education. Boebert isn’t just anti-abortion but also opposes educating kids on sex. When you fail to provide sex ed, the chances increase of your son knocking up his 16-year-old girlfriend. Boebert said at another CPAC event that comprehensive sex ed shouldn’t be taught to “any student in a public school.” Naturally, Boebert is in favor of abstinence education but as her own kid proves, that doesn’t work.

Of course, there are smart people in rural areas, but people in cities tend to be better educated and informed than those in the country. Case in point: Sarah Huckabee Sanders is the governor of Arkansas.

Sanders is also rolling back child labor laws in her state, eliminating requirements for the state to verify the age of children younger than 16 before they can take a job. At what point will Republicans reinstate slave labor and indentured servitude? Meanwhile, Republicans in multiple states are taking time away from accusing Democrats of being pedophiles and groomers to lower age requirements for marriage.

The only good thing that can come from putting underage kids to work in meat-packing plants is that they’ll be too busy to be exposed to a Boebert penis.

Music Note: I listened to Paula Cole.

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    1. For 30+ years, I worked in a high school that also housed Pre-Natal classes and an Infant Lab (‘babysitting’ whilst the girls continued high school) . . . not ONE of those impregnating the underage students was charged with rape. If only . . . .

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I know some states have “Romeo and Juliet” laws where one of the couple has to be more than 2 (or other #) years older than their partner in order to be considered for statutory rape.


  2. I’ve often wondered if Dixie would still have slavery had they either won the war, or Lincoln would have just shrugged his shoulders and said “Fine – go make your own country”*. Apparently, in Arkansas, the answer is an unequivocal “YES”.
    *Sometimes I find myself wishing he’d done just that, because it seems that war never really ever ended.


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