Yee-Haw For Guns


Right-wingers with gun fetishes have these fantasies that a bad guy will pop up, armed for a shooting spree, and then they’ll scream “yee-haw,” take the bad guy down with the gun they’re packing for such an event, and they’ll be heralded as a hero on the cover of the next issue of National Review and Gun Fetish Weekly. Somewhere in the headline, it’ll point out that our hero does not have a small penis.

It is a fantasy that rarely comes true. Most of these gun fetishists could have served in the military but declined. But, they’re real big about arming themselves as if they’re about to single-handedly invade Gambia. Or better yet, they have enough firepower to overturn a government insurrection from the deep state when they try to take their guns and remove their Republican president who was fairly elected by more acres than people.

The “good guy with a gun” is more than a fantasy. It’s propaganda and for the National Rifle Association, a selling point. They sell T-Shirts with the slogan, “does not have a small penis,” I mean, “The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun…” the rest of the slogan is on the back of the shirt, so if you’re a Republican and want to end the suspense, you’ll have to walk around the wearer to find out the rest of that sentence.

Yesterday, two volunteer security guys in Texas took out a man with a shotgun….AFTER he killed two people. Well, yay and skippitydoo. Does this prove the good guy with a gun worked out? Not for two of those people.

In 2017 at a church in Sutherland Springs, Texas, a shooter armed with a semi-automatic rifle was pursued and injured by a “good guy with a gun” before he took his own life…after 26 were killed and an additional 20 were injured. The “good guy with a guy” chose to pursue his Rambo fantasy instead of helping those wounded.

Republicans tell us that the “good guy with a gun” prevented more deaths from happening. But in Sutherland Springs, maybe the good guy could have saved more lives if he had checked on the wounded.

The fantasy doesn’t always work out. While gun nuts highlight the rare success of a “good guys with a gun,” they don’t point out the failures. I bet none of your crazy, lunatic, rabid gun fetishists uncles have ever mentioned Emantic Fitzgerald Bradford Jr. Who’s he? He was a “good guy with a gun” who tried to stop a shooting at a mall in Alabama when another “good guy with a gun” shot and killed him. Did I mention Emantic Fitzgerald Bradford Jr was black?

The truth is, even with your Rambo lessons, if you’re packing heat then you’re more likely to shoot yourself than a bad guy. Or, you’re more likely to be shot by police who can’t tell the difference between you and the bad guy. Even if you’re wearing that shirt, the cops will have to walk behind you to find out the end of that sentence. Maybe you should develop a shooting/spinning maneuver. Or, you, despite your Rambo classes, will shoot an innocent bystander or you’ll get shot by another “good guy with a gun.”

Here’s a fact that’s hard to debunk: If you don’t have a gun, it’s really hard to shoot someone.

A 2017 National Bureau of Economic Research study revealed that right-to-carry laws increase, rather than decrease, violent crime. Higher rates of gun ownership correlate with higher homicide rates. And gun possession correlates with road rage. People feel a lot more froggy when they’re packing.

Having the gun fantasy is more deadly than safe. What would be safer for you, me, and even the gun fetishists who will probably end up shooting themselves are gun laws that make it harder for people to commit church shootings, thus eliminating the need for a “good guy with a gun.”

The truth is; The “good guys with guns” create more “idiots with guns.”

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One comment

  1. The big problem I see with the “good guy with a gun” scenario is that in the heat of a shooting it is very hard to tell the good guy from the bad guy. The crowd usually just sees two people with guns and assume they’re both bad guys. Over the last few years in my city, several good guys with guns have been shot and killed by police while they tried to take down the bad guy. In one case the good guy already apprehended the bad guy, but was killed because the police thought he was the bad guy with a hostage.

    It would be nice if the good guy with a gun myth had merit, but you’re probably better off just fleeing the scene and hiding someplace you can lock down until the police show up.


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