Great Dotard Summit

A few weeks ago, Rachel Maddow discussed how she may have inadvertently stumbled upon her sign-off. Walter Cronkite’s sign off, “and that’s the way it is,” is legendary and makes all others pale in comparison. But, the one Maddow half joked about may fit these times better. “That’s the way it is” is disputed by Trump sycophants on a daily basis, but “that’s weird” doesn’t just describe every instance of Trump chicanery, but his supporters as well. Let’s try it.

Trump and Republicans accuse former FBI Director James Comey of leaking his memos and that he should be criminally charged for it. When they finally received the rest of his memos from the Justice Department, they leaked them within an hour. That’s weird.

While former presidents George H.W. Bush, George, W. Bush, Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, and First Ladies Laura Bush, Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, and Melania Trump were at the funeral for Barbara Bush, Trump was tweeting lies and insults. That’s weird.

Trump tweeted that he has never referred to Jeff Sessions as “Mr. Magoo” or Rod Rosenstein as “Mr. Peepers,” a day before he tweeted about “Sleepy Eyes” Chuck Todd. That’s weird.

His press briefing at Mar-a-Lago resembled an infomercial for his resort more than information from the President of the United States. That’s weird.

From Comey’s memos, Trump could not stop talking about the pee pee tape, and even relayed how he and Putin talked about Moscow hookers. THAT’S WEIRD!!!

Perhaps the subject of Pyongyang hookers can be the icebreaker for the Trump/Kim summit. I seriously doubt it’ll be the three Americans currently being held prisoners by North Korea, whose release should have been a condition to talk about talks.

North Korea has suspended their testing of nukes and missiles, which appears to be a condition for the talks. Unfortunately, Trump believes suspending the tests is denuclearization. His ignorance on this shows we’re in deep danger he’s about to get played at the summit.

Maybe they’ll discuss how Trump is responsible for the success of the Winter Olympics in South Korea. He has taken credit for it.

North Korea has made promises to the world before only to turn around and break them later. Now with Trump in office, what better time for the rogue regime to pull another fast one? While Trump probably thinks he’ll achieve world peace and win a Nobel Prize, the DPRK may be looking for a quick score.

Trump mentioned a few days ago that many people don’t know the Korean War is technically still in progress. When Trump says “a lot of people don’t know,” that means he just found out. This is the man we’re sending to negotiate with the most hostile regime on the planet.

Of course, this summit also hinges on North Korea getting there. North Korea has very old airplanes. They don’t have access to luxury travel benefits like Scott Pruitt. Kim Jong Un took a train to Beijing last week. He has to save face which means he’s not going to borrow a plane or fly commercial. This is a government that doesn’t have one ship that can travel from one of their coasts to the other (if you’re a Republican, North Korea is a peninsula which means it has two coasts. Look on a map. It’s near Japan, China, and Russia, which is in Asia. OK, have someone point it out to you).

Mongolia was ruled out as a location because of security concerns and nobody wants to go to Mongolia (it’s like Indiana with camels). It can’t be held in Japan because of the nasty history between them and both Koreas. Russia won’t work because it’ll look bad for Trump. China is too friendly to North Korea so that’s not exactly neutral territory. Neither is South Korea.

Of course, it can’t be in the U.S. because we’re already giving Kim legitimacy by meeting our president, even if it is Trump. No way in Hell would we agree to have it in Pyongyang.

Neutral sites would be in Switzerland and Sweden, but both European destinations are probably too far for Kim’s choo-choo. There’s speculation the summit could be held in either Vietnam or Singapore. Maybe Kim can take an Uber.

This won’t be the first time someone who has traded insults with Trump has sat down with him. But, this is no Mitt Romney and it’s probably going to take more than a plate of frog legs to decrease the tension. Does Kim like meatloaf? Kim Jong Un issued an official statement referring to Trump as a “dotard” so it’s no secret there’s very little respect for Trump and his cognitive abilities. By the time the summit actually happens, Trump will have probably looked up the definition of “dotard.”

Both leaders have a lot in common. Born to privilege, bad hair, desire to rule with complete authority, prone to insults, extremely sensitive to criticism, no fans of a free press, etc. But, is Kim as stupid as Trump? Let’s hope so.

The summit could actually create a peaceful environment on the Korean peninsula if they were actually sending people who know diplomacy. It could make matters worse. Or, Trump and Kim can become BFFs.

That’ll be weird.

Here’s the video.

lease consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!