North Korea

Commemorative Chicken


cjones05282018

Apparently, Donald Trump woke up Tuesday morning to the same realization the rest of us wake with every day. That he could be an international embarrassment, become a laughingstock, and bring great shame and humiliation upon us. That, or he had a really bad bowel movement.

After initial excitement over the summit with North Korea’s Kim Jong Un, Trump is showing signs that he is having second thoughts. I’m as shocked as you are. Trump has thoughts?

This is exactly what happens when you engage in bar talk. What’s bar talk? It’s when you commit yourself to something that you regret the next day. Say you talk to a casual acquaintance in a bar and you say you’ll drive them to the airport. The next morning you wake up and think, “what have I done? I hope he knows it was just bar talk.” A lot of people have come to expect that anything they hear in a bar is B.S.

A few years ago, I invited a sketchy person to a friend’s house for Thanksgiving. The next day I told him not to worry about it because she probably knew it was just bar talk. Unfortunately, she didn’t. In fact, she’s still at his house. Seriously.

Anyway, Trump engaged in bar talk without being in a bar. South Korea diplomats told Trump that Kim wanted to meet and Trump accepted without researching, consulting experts, or setting conditions. Trump was excited and started talking about being awarded a Nobel Peace Prize for making a date. They’re so excited they’ve issued a commemorative coin for the summit.

The White House Communications Agency issued a coin to celebrate the occasion, which may not happen. There’s also criticism and mockery of the coin beyond it being premature. It refers to Kim as “Supreme Leader,” a title the U.S. doesn’t usually use for the dictator. It also has both men in a sort of romantic face-to-face pose, like they should get a room. It’s also similar to the poster for that movie where John Travolta and Nicolas Cage trade faces. Others have pointed out that the depiction of Kim has given him multiple chins while giving Trump a rigid jawline, which he hasn’t had since never.

Since they went ahead and made a commemorative coin for something that may not happen, the White House should go ahead and make a coin commemorating Trump’s impeachment. You know. Just in case.

According to White House leakers, Trump is not prepared for the summit. The big test is coming up and Trump hasn’t studied. The briefing material has words and stuff. It’s hard. Trump will insist on North Korea giving up its nuclear program, but all he knows about nuclear is that it’s uranium. Thanks to National Security Adviser and mustache aficionado John Bolton, North Korea is now blustering.

Bolton said the Trump administration will seek a nuclear agreement similar to the one Libya agreed to, which eventually left Muammar Gaddafi dead. For reasons unknown, Kim Jong Un isn’t fond of that idea. There are also rumors that Kim is concerned there will be a coup while he’s in Singapore hobnobbing with Trump.

Trump also blamed China for Kim’s changing stance, without explaining how it was their fault other than saying Kim became weirder after visiting China for the second time. While North Korea is willing to end their nuclear testing, because they’ve destroyed all the places they can test, they’re not willing to give up their capability. Trump can thank Bolton for making Kim skittish. He can thank himself for pulling out of the Iran deal which tells North Korea and the rest of the world that Donald Trump doesn’t honor agreements.

Trump has every reason to be afraid of being embarrassed. It may be more than coming home without an agreement. What if Kim calls him a dotard to his face in front of the press? As we saw from his debate with Hillary Clinton, Trump isn’t quick on his feet, especially after being insulted. Will he respond to Kim with, “you’re the dotard. You’re the dotard?”

What happens if Kim doesn’t show up? It’s bad enough being stood up on a date after driving across town. But Trump is traveling halfway around the world and could be left standing in the rain with wilted flowers in his hands.

Trump wanted this meeting more than Kim and unfortunately, North Korea and the world knows. Now he’s trying to find a way to worm out, and he’s probably hoping Kim cancels first or gives him a great, or even a slightly decent reason to cancel.

It will be interesting to see how the sycophants defend Trump if he chickens out. These people used to say even talking to Iran was giving them legitimacy. Now, they say Trump deserves awards for meeting Kim, which is even more premature than the stupid double-chin coin.

Trump is used to receiving red carpets, sword dances, and French hugs when he meets with foreign leaders. He doesn’t know how Kim will treat him. Trump is unprepared, scared, and stupid.

Kim already has the upper hand, and we’ve all seen Trump’s.

Watch me draw.

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Tips For Trump


cjones05162018

With the latest revelation that Trump flunky/lawyer/fixer Michael Cohen was engaging in pay for play for access to the president, comes two very important questions; Did the president know about this scheme (which is a question that keeps reoccurring over these scandals)? Did the president get any of this money?

Donald Trump is notorious for being angry when he believes people are making money off his name. He complained about fired-FBI Director James Comey making money off his book. So, how does Trump feel about Cohen accepting around $4 million from an American firm linked to a Russian oligarch (Columbus Nova), AT&T, Novartis, and Korean Aerospace Industries?

Each company issued statements that they paid Cohen for expert advice in areas where he is not an expert. Now, if they issued statements they hired him to silence porn stars, that would be believable. What’s not believable is that he was hired for advice in real estate, health care, mega business mergers, or accounting standards, which were the various the reasons the companies initially gave for paying Cohen butt-loads of money.

The money was paid to Essential Consultants, the same shell company Cohen set up in Delaware that paid $130,000 to Stormy Daniels and $1.6 million to silence a Playboy bunny who was knocked up by, supposedly, a different Republican. Funny thing about the Playmate payment; the fake name on that payment, David Dennison, was the same as the one to Stormy. So, the abortion payment was actually for Trump or Cohen is too stupid and lazy to come up with additional bogus names. How about Grabby McGrabalot, Orangy McOrangeman, Shaka ShitForBrains, Lester Molester, Chester Cheeto, or Petey McPerjurer?

The corporations later issued further statements that they hired Cohen to help them understand the president, or even connect them with him. Really? You need to understand the president? Cheeseburgers and sword dances. There you go. That’ll be $400,000, please.

Is any of this illegal? You bet Trump’s chunky orange ass it’s illegal. Michael Cohen is not a registered lobbyist. This fixer needs a fixer.

What we need to watch is how Trump reacts to this. If he expresses anger about Cohen collecting money, then Trump is probably entirely ignorant over the pay-for-play scheme (which he campaigned against) or, he totally forgot about it. If Trump defends Cohen, calls it a lie or “fake news,” or blows it off, he’s guilty. Don’t forget, Trump is a guy who charges the Secret Service rental fees on golf carts when they protect him at one of his stupid courses.

Trump is cheap. He is cheap in other ways too. He is so cheap and petty, he complained on Twitter about how the Obama administration failed to secure the release of the three detainees held by North Korea. The thing is, two of those detainees weren’t arrested and detained until AFTER Trump became president. I understand Trump likes to take credit for Obama’s accomplishments, but now he’s being blamed for not doing Trump’s job? How come Obama hasn’t built the wall yet? Why did Obama let those Russians into Trump Tower? How come Obama failed to silence Stormy?

How cheap do you have to be to use these three Americans, held hostage by the most ruthless regime on the planet, for a cheap political payoff with your rabid base of sycophants?

Trump met the hostages when they landed at Andrews Air Force Base at 2:30 AM Thursday morning. He talked about the ratings. He praised Kim Jong Un and said the treatment of the prisoners he captured was “excellent” and how nice of him to let them go. Really? Excellent? Nice?

Kim Jong Un captures Americans for leverage. He is not to be thanked for releasing them. Remember Otto Warmbier? The University of Virginia student he released who was in a coma and died shortly after arriving back in the U.S.? That wasn’t excellent or nice.

And by the way, eleven Americans were released by North Korea during Obama’s presidency. Maybe Trump can convince Kim to capture and release nine more, so he can top Obama’s accomplishment. Or, he can totally erase Obama’s legacy and send the Americans back.

Considering how cheap and petty Trump is, I’m surprised he didn’t meet the detainees at the bottom of the stairs with a tip jar. Trump wants a tip? I got one for him.

Resign.

Shout out. Yesterday was Frank’s birthday. Frank hates having his birthday celebrated, so be sure to leave a comment wishing him a happy birthday and a whole lot more. Frank volunteers to find my typos and make suggestions. If I don’t take a day off, Frank doesn’t take a day off. If I post two blogs a day, Frank corrects two a day. Frank is extremely reliable, proficient, and generous. He also sends me movie recommendations and really bad jokes. He also really hates when I use the word “really.” I appreciate Frank and you should too. The fact he even wants to donate his time on my stuff makes me feel that maybe there’s something significant to what I’m doing. Thanks, Frank and happy birthday. You really, really, really are something special.

Here’s the video.

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Rogue Nation


cjones05132018

In breaking the treaty preventing Iran from acquiring a nuclear weapon, Donald Trump said he’s a man who keeps his promises, thus making the United States a nation that does not.

Except, Donald Trump is not a man who keeps his promises. Ask his first wife, or his second, or his third. I’d tell you to ask his idiot sycophants who were promised Mexico would pay for the wall, except they’re idiots.

We know the government of Iran is made of religious zealots who lie. That was a factor the six nations who are a part of this deal accounted for when it was made. As we now negotiate a treaty to end North Korea’s nuclear program, they will keep in mind that Donald Trump lies.

Pulling us out of the deal will reinstate sanctions on Iran and inflict them upon those who do business with that nation. Iran and the other members of the deal, Russia, China, and our allies England, France, and Germany, plan to abide by it despite our absence. This may force us to place sanctions on our allies. Other nations will now make it a part of their foreign policy not to trust the United States, all because Donald Trump wants to erase Obama’s legacy.

The deal is not perfect. It doesn’t prevent Iran from exporting terror, disable their missile program, or stop them from jailing dissidents. But it prevents them from acquiring a nuclear weapon. Our intelligence and even the Israeli intelligence say Iran has not violated the agreement. But now, the United States is in violation of it.

This deal also affects the moderates in Iran. Much like our rabid Republicans who attacked Obama for this deal, the zealots in Iran are now pointing at Trump’s actions as proof that the U.S. is a hostile nation that can’t be trusted, and that they should stop trusting their more moderate leaders.

Trump cited the fact that Iran often chants “death to America” as a reason to pull out of the deal. Has the “dotard” heard what North Korea chants?

The only three nations cheering Trump’s stupid decision are Israel, Saudi Arabia, and the United Arab Emirates. These nations have long wished for regime change in Iran, but they don’t want to do it themselves. They would love to see the United States take military action against Iran, which would be a bigger mess and quagmire than Iraq. For Saudi Arabia and the UAE, a war would raise oil prices which would greatly benefit them.

Trump doesn’t care about the best interest of the United States either. He pulled us out of the Paris Climate Accord and the Trans-Pacific Partnership. He’s moving our Israeli embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. None of these moves make the U.S. stronger but it’s red meat for his base of stupid people.

If Trump had negotiated this same exact deal with Iran his sycophants and Republicans would be trying to nominate him for a Nobel Prize. Why? Because it prevents Iran from getting nukes. Right now, the sycophants forging applications to nominate him for the prize based only on his agreement to meet with Kim Jong Un.

Now, the United States is the rogue nation. Why? Because our president is a stupid and petty little man. Iran and North Korea are dangers to the world, and so is Donald Trump.

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Nobel Nonsense


cjones05062018

In 2009, the Nobel Committee awarded their prize to Barack Obama. It was thought that it was a preemptive award encouraging him to scale down America’s militaristic foreign policy. In reality, it was given to him because he wasn’t George W. Bush, a man who started a war on false pretenses. It makes me wonder what sort of grand prize will be given to the Democrat who follows Trump?

Republicans and other sycophants are clamoring for Donald Trump to receive the Nobel Peace Prize because North Korea wants to chat. It sounds crazy, right? Should a man who threatens nuclear war, wants to dismantle a treaty that ended Iran’s nuclear program, and has praised Nazis be awarded a peace prize? If you look at past recipients, crazy isn’t new to the Nobel Committee.

Aung San Suu Kyi won the award in 1991 and today she denies the genocide taking place in Myanmar which has led to an exodus of over 400,000 Rohingya Muslims. Her defense is basically, there are good and bad people on both sides. Crap, that sounds familiar.

Cordell Hull won the Nobel AFTER he led a revolt of Southern Democrats opposed to allowing Jewish refugees asylum in the United States. It was because of his pressure that Franklin Delano Roosevelt wouldn’t let them off their boat and shipped them back into the waiting arms of Hitler’s holocaust.

Did you know they gave a Nobel in medicine to the asshole who invented the frontal lobotomy? Did you know that Mahatma Gandhi does NOT have a Nobel?

Sometimes the people who give awards forget what the award is supposed to be for. A couple weeks ago, the Pulitzer Prize for Editorial Cartooning went to two guys, neither of whom are editorial cartoonists and one of them doesn’t even draw. Go figure. But I’m not bitter.

Last week at a rally in Michigan (Michael the Black Man was there in his usual spot behind Trump’s podium), the crowd chanted “Nobel, Nobel, Nobel.” These are the same jerks upset that we signed a treaty with Iran ending their nuclear program, that to this day Iran has not violated, and they no longer have a nuclear program. Trump wants to end this. But, these people love the idea of giving Trump a prize in peace because Kim Jong Un wants to chit-chat.

Remember how Obama and John Kerry were derided for the deal with Iran? They said we can’t trust Iran. But, for some reason, we can trust North Korea who has broken many promises and treaties in the past. Hell, Trump called Kim “honorable” last week. This is a man who had his uncle shot and his brother murdered on foreign soil. He’ll probably end up sharing the Nobel with Trump.

Let that sink in. Sharing a Nobel with Kim Jong Un. Is it really a grand achievement to share an award with a man who starves his nation, threatens war on a daily basis, sends dissenters to gulags, and murders his family? That’d be like sharing it with a wannabe fascist who uses his Justice Department to prosecute his enemies and wants to destroy the free press.

If they want to give Trump a Nobel, they better hurry while there’s still space on his wall for false achievements. He’s claimed credit for Obama’s economy, so maybe he can claim Obama’s Nobel.

Here’s the Video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Great Dotard Summit


cjones04262018

A few weeks ago, Rachel Maddow discussed how she may have inadvertently stumbled upon her sign-off. Walter Cronkite’s sign off, “and that’s the way it is,” is legendary and makes all others pale in comparison. But, the one Maddow half joked about may fit these times better. “That’s the way it is” is disputed by Trump sycophants on a daily basis, but “that’s weird” doesn’t just describe every instance of Trump chicanery, but his supporters as well. Let’s try it.

Trump and Republicans accuse former FBI Director James Comey of leaking his memos and that he should be criminally charged for it. When they finally received the rest of his memos from the Justice Department, they leaked them within an hour. That’s weird.

While former presidents George H.W. Bush, George, W. Bush, Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, and First Ladies Laura Bush, Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, and Melania Trump were at the funeral for Barbara Bush, Trump was tweeting lies and insults. That’s weird.

Trump tweeted that he has never referred to Jeff Sessions as “Mr. Magoo” or Rod Rosenstein as “Mr. Peepers,” a day before he tweeted about “Sleepy Eyes” Chuck Todd. That’s weird.

His press briefing at Mar-a-Lago resembled an infomercial for his resort more than information from the President of the United States. That’s weird.

From Comey’s memos, Trump could not stop talking about the pee pee tape, and even relayed how he and Putin talked about Moscow hookers. THAT’S WEIRD!!!

Perhaps the subject of Pyongyang hookers can be the icebreaker for the Trump/Kim summit. I seriously doubt it’ll be the three Americans currently being held prisoners by North Korea, whose release should have been a condition to talk about talks.

North Korea has suspended their testing of nukes and missiles, which appears to be a condition for the talks. Unfortunately, Trump believes suspending the tests is denuclearization. His ignorance on this shows we’re in deep danger he’s about to get played at the summit.

Maybe they’ll discuss how Trump is responsible for the success of the Winter Olympics in South Korea. He has taken credit for it.

North Korea has made promises to the world before only to turn around and break them later. Now with Trump in office, what better time for the rogue regime to pull another fast one? While Trump probably thinks he’ll achieve world peace and win a Nobel Prize, the DPRK may be looking for a quick score.

Trump mentioned a few days ago that many people don’t know the Korean War is technically still in progress. When Trump says “a lot of people don’t know,” that means he just found out. This is the man we’re sending to negotiate with the most hostile regime on the planet.

Of course, this summit also hinges on North Korea getting there. North Korea has very old airplanes. They don’t have access to luxury travel benefits like Scott Pruitt. Kim Jong Un took a train to Beijing last week. He has to save face which means he’s not going to borrow a plane or fly commercial. This is a government that doesn’t have one ship that can travel from one of their coasts to the other (if you’re a Republican, North Korea is a peninsula which means it has two coasts. Look on a map. It’s near Japan, China, and Russia, which is in Asia. OK, have someone point it out to you).

Mongolia was ruled out as a location because of security concerns and nobody wants to go to Mongolia (it’s like Indiana with camels). It can’t be held in Japan because of the nasty history between them and both Koreas. Russia won’t work because it’ll look bad for Trump. China is too friendly to North Korea so that’s not exactly neutral territory. Neither is South Korea.

Of course, it can’t be in the U.S. because we’re already giving Kim legitimacy by meeting our president, even if it is Trump. No way in Hell would we agree to have it in Pyongyang.

Neutral sites would be in Switzerland and Sweden, but both European destinations are probably too far for Kim’s choo-choo. There’s speculation the summit could be held in either Vietnam or Singapore. Maybe Kim can take an Uber.

This won’t be the first time someone who has traded insults with Trump has sat down with him. But, this is no Mitt Romney and it’s probably going to take more than a plate of frog legs to decrease the tension. Does Kim like meatloaf? Kim Jong Un issued an official statement referring to Trump as a “dotard” so it’s no secret there’s very little respect for Trump and his cognitive abilities. By the time the summit actually happens, Trump will have probably looked up the definition of “dotard.”

Both leaders have a lot in common. Born to privilege, bad hair, desire to rule with complete authority, prone to insults, extremely sensitive to criticism, no fans of a free press, etc. But, is Kim as stupid as Trump? Let’s hope so.

The summit could actually create a peaceful environment on the Korean peninsula if they were actually sending people who know diplomacy. It could make matters worse. Or, Trump and Kim can become BFFs.

That’ll be weird.

Here’s the video.

lease consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Bad Hair Summit


cjones03112018

The one thing North Korea has craved for the entirety of its existence is legitimacy. Donald Trump just gave it to them.

Republicans criticized President Obama for saying he was open to talks with Iran. Even then, there were negotiations for negotiations. Obama never met with the leaders of Iran. Instead, he sent diplomats to negotiate with their diplomats. The State and Defense Departments was heavily involved as were other experts in foreign policy and national security. Today, Iran does not have a nuclear weapon.

Donald Trump stuck his head in a meeting and said “yup.” South Korean diplomats were in the White House yesterday, and they were not scheduled to talk to Trump. But, Trump stuck his head in that meeting, heard Kim Jong Un wants to meet him in person, and the next thing you know South Koreans are standing in the White House driveway in the dark announcing that the president of the United States is going to hang with Little Rocket Man.

This meeting, which will happen now, will raise North Korea’s prestige to an eye-to-eye level with the international community. It decreases the legitimacy and credibility of the Oval Office to a level occupied by Dennis Rodman.

Rodman is the most high-profile American Kim Jong Un has ever met. No American president has ever met or talked to a leader of North Korea in its entire history. From Ike to Obama, no president thought it was a good idea. Trump, truly a dotard, disagrees and now Kim gets to jump straight from Dennis Rodman to the president of the United States. No initial meetings or negotiations with diplomatic underlings, or the Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, or even a meet and greet at a wine mixer with Nikki Haley. They get the president of the United States.

Donald Trump is winging it and seeing where it goes. That works great for jazz, not so much for foreign diplomacy. The State Department wasn’t even in the loop. Rex Tillerson was sleeping when this decision was made, but to be fair, Tillerson is usually sleeping. That’s one of the reasons Putin picked him.

We don’t have an ambassador to South Korea. Our highest-level expert on North Korea quit last week. Trump is going in unprepared and believing he is smarter than everyone else and the best negotiator. The man can’t successfully negotiate a hush contract with a porn star. And in case you haven’t noticed yet, Mexico is not paying for that wall.

The greatest outrage in this is that Trump may be risking our national security and that of South Korea and Japan for selfish reasons. Perhaps it’s the ratings. Maybe it’s to get Stormy off the front pages. Or the most likely reason, it’ll provide another payday for Mar-a-Lago because Trump makes money every time he goes there…which is why he’s at one of his properties nearly every weekend. Nobody likes golf that much.

North Korea is promising to cease testing nukes and missiles. They’re talking about denuclearization. They’re not even insisting that we stop military drills on the Korean peninsula. It sounds like a great deal and Trump will bring peace to our time…except for that sticky part where the two times the North promised to stop building nukes, they lied. As that fishhead guy said in Return of the Jedi, “it’s a trap!”

North Korea is still holding three Americans hostage. Trump didn’t even insist they release them. Trump just stuck his head in the door.

The rest of us may be sticking our heads between our knees.

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button. Thank you!

On Thin Ice


cjones01202018

I was watching Morning Joe this morning, and for the few minutes they weren’t talking about Donald Trump getting a spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter, they talked to Republican Congressman Jim Jordan.

Jordan did not talk about spankings with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of Trump’s daughter, but he did talk about the budget crisis. He said the voters put Trump and the GOP in charge of the government (Before they knew about the spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter) to accomplish all their promises, so Democrats should go ahead and pass the temporary budget fix to keep the government open. If there’s a shutdown, then it’s all the Democrats fault.

Let’s look at that logic. If the voters put you in charge to keep your promises, then why do you need the Democrats’ help? You have control of all three branches of government. How is it the Democrats fault that you don’t know how to legislate? Next, you’ll blame them for Trump’s spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter.

The Republicans could create legislation that would appeal to enough Democrats to pass their budget, but running the government isn’t as simple as Trump getting a spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter

By the way, I wouldn’t talk about the voters giving you a mandate when over three million more of them voted for Trump’s opponent (imagine how many more it would have been if they knew about that spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter), not to mention that over 80% of voters believe Dreamers should be able to stay in this nation. Yeah, that Dreamer issue.

The Republicans argue that Democrats shouldn’t demand it is a part of this budget deal, and that they’re not holding Dreamers hostage (like Trump was held hostage during that spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter). Go talk to a Dreamer who doesn’t know if they’ll get to stay here, continue working or going to school, or end up being shipped to a country they’ve never known. Donald Trump inserted the Dreamer crisis into this issue by revoking Obama’s Executive Order that allowed them to stay here. You broke it, you bought it (which might be something Trump said during that spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter).

Did voters send Trump to the Oval Office so he could lie about legislation? He told Democrats and Republicans that if they sent him a deal on DACA, that he would sign it and take the heat. They proposed a deal and he backtracked. Donald Trump is a liar. Republicans are legislating, trying to send something to his desk, and they don’t know what the man wants (spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter) because he keeps changing his mind.

Right now, we have a better idea of what Trump wants in the bedroom than what he wants in this budget (spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter).

Republicans think it’s crazy that DACA has to be a part of this but not funding for Trump’s stupid “I Hate Mexicans” wall. Why should this be in the budget when we were told Mexico would pay for this wall? That’s almost as crazy as someone wanting a spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter.

Democrats, don’t budge. Don’t give jerks one cent for that wall. Mexico was supposed to pay for it. Don’t bend over (like Trump does for a spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter) because Trump lied and can’t keep a campaign promise.

If Trump can’t keep his promises, Democrats shouldn’t pay for that. Trump should like he paid to keep it quiet that he got a spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter.

North and South Korea are probably laughing at us over this budget thing, in addition to Trump’s spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter.

By the way, did you hear about Trump’s spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter? Some people can’t stop talking about it.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude