North Korea

Bad Hair Summit


cjones03112018

The one thing North Korea has craved for the entirety of its existence is legitimacy. Donald Trump just gave it to them.

Republicans criticized President Obama for saying he was open to talks with Iran. Even then, there were negotiations for negotiations. Obama never met with the leaders of Iran. Instead, he sent diplomats to negotiate with their diplomats. The State and Defense Departments was heavily involved as were other experts in foreign policy and national security. Today, Iran does not have a nuclear weapon.

Donald Trump stuck his head in a meeting and said “yup.” South Korean diplomats were in the White House yesterday, and they were not scheduled to talk to Trump. But, Trump stuck his head in that meeting, heard Kim Jong Un wants to meet him in person, and the next thing you know South Koreans are standing in the White House driveway in the dark announcing that the president of the United States is going to hang with Little Rocket Man.

This meeting, which will happen now, will raise North Korea’s prestige to an eye-to-eye level with the international community. It decreases the legitimacy and credibility of the Oval Office to a level occupied by Dennis Rodman.

Rodman is the most high-profile American Kim Jong Un has ever met. No American president has ever met or talked to a leader of North Korea in its entire history. From Ike to Obama, no president thought it was a good idea. Trump, truly a dotard, disagrees and now Kim gets to jump straight from Dennis Rodman to the president of the United States. No initial meetings or negotiations with diplomatic underlings, or the Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, or even a meet and greet at a wine mixer with Nikki Haley. They get the president of the United States.

Donald Trump is winging it and seeing where it goes. That works great for jazz, not so much for foreign diplomacy. The State Department wasn’t even in the loop. Rex Tillerson was sleeping when this decision was made, but to be fair, Tillerson is usually sleeping. That’s one of the reasons Putin picked him.

We don’t have an ambassador to South Korea. Our highest-level expert on North Korea quit last week. Trump is going in unprepared and believing he is smarter than everyone else and the best negotiator. The man can’t successfully negotiate a hush contract with a porn star. And in case you haven’t noticed yet, Mexico is not paying for that wall.

The greatest outrage in this is that Trump may be risking our national security and that of South Korea and Japan for selfish reasons. Perhaps it’s the ratings. Maybe it’s to get Stormy off the front pages. Or the most likely reason, it’ll provide another payday for Mar-a-Lago because Trump makes money every time he goes there…which is why he’s at one of his properties nearly every weekend. Nobody likes golf that much.

North Korea is promising to cease testing nukes and missiles. They’re talking about denuclearization. They’re not even insisting that we stop military drills on the Korean peninsula. It sounds like a great deal and Trump will bring peace to our time…except for that sticky part where the two times the North promised to stop building nukes, they lied. As that fishhead guy said in Return of the Jedi, “it’s a trap!”

North Korea is still holding three Americans hostage. Trump didn’t even insist they release them. Trump just stuck his head in the door.

The rest of us may be sticking our heads between our knees.

Here’s the video.

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On Thin Ice


cjones01202018

I was watching Morning Joe this morning, and for the few minutes they weren’t talking about Donald Trump getting a spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter, they talked to Republican Congressman Jim Jordan.

Jordan did not talk about spankings with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of Trump’s daughter, but he did talk about the budget crisis. He said the voters put Trump and the GOP in charge of the government (Before they knew about the spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter) to accomplish all their promises, so Democrats should go ahead and pass the temporary budget fix to keep the government open. If there’s a shutdown, then it’s all the Democrats fault.

Let’s look at that logic. If the voters put you in charge to keep your promises, then why do you need the Democrats’ help? You have control of all three branches of government. How is it the Democrats fault that you don’t know how to legislate? Next, you’ll blame them for Trump’s spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter.

The Republicans could create legislation that would appeal to enough Democrats to pass their budget, but running the government isn’t as simple as Trump getting a spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter

By the way, I wouldn’t talk about the voters giving you a mandate when over three million more of them voted for Trump’s opponent (imagine how many more it would have been if they knew about that spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter), not to mention that over 80% of voters believe Dreamers should be able to stay in this nation. Yeah, that Dreamer issue.

The Republicans argue that Democrats shouldn’t demand it is a part of this budget deal, and that they’re not holding Dreamers hostage (like Trump was held hostage during that spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter). Go talk to a Dreamer who doesn’t know if they’ll get to stay here, continue working or going to school, or end up being shipped to a country they’ve never known. Donald Trump inserted the Dreamer crisis into this issue by revoking Obama’s Executive Order that allowed them to stay here. You broke it, you bought it (which might be something Trump said during that spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter).

Did voters send Trump to the Oval Office so he could lie about legislation? He told Democrats and Republicans that if they sent him a deal on DACA, that he would sign it and take the heat. They proposed a deal and he backtracked. Donald Trump is a liar. Republicans are legislating, trying to send something to his desk, and they don’t know what the man wants (spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter) because he keeps changing his mind.

Right now, we have a better idea of what Trump wants in the bedroom than what he wants in this budget (spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter).

Republicans think it’s crazy that DACA has to be a part of this but not funding for Trump’s stupid “I Hate Mexicans” wall. Why should this be in the budget when we were told Mexico would pay for this wall? That’s almost as crazy as someone wanting a spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter.

Democrats, don’t budge. Don’t give jerks one cent for that wall. Mexico was supposed to pay for it. Don’t bend over (like Trump does for a spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter) because Trump lied and can’t keep a campaign promise.

If Trump can’t keep his promises, Democrats shouldn’t pay for that. Trump should like he paid to keep it quiet that he got a spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter.

North and South Korea are probably laughing at us over this budget thing, in addition to Trump’s spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter.

By the way, did you hear about Trump’s spanking with a Forbes magazine by a porn star who reminds him of his daughter? Some people can’t stop talking about it.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

Teeny Weenie Tweety Diplomacy


cjones01042018

I was all set to draw a cartoon about the protests in Iran. I was looking forward to starting a streak of drawing cartoons that didn’t feature Donald Trump. Drawing two cartoons in a row without him is an accomplishment considering Trump weeks are kinda like dog years. I do get tired of the guy.

Then, yesterday morning Trump tweeted that Huma Abedin, an aide to Hillary Clinton (He misspelled “aide”) should go to prison, something about sailor pictures on submarines, the “deep state” Justice Department, and mentioned James Comey. Yes, all in one tweet. I think the entire world gave a collective “huh?” Covfefe was less confusing.

But, That didn’t trigger me to draw a cartoon about the guy. The person it should trigger is the Attorney General, Jeff Sessions. Sessions should exhibit independence and backbone, rip the president a new one, and defend his department and the career professionals from a right-wing conspiracy theory so stupid that it’s the equivalent of birtherism, pizzagate, and chemtrails.

Then, Trump tweeted that companies are giving “big bonuses” to their workers because of his tax cut. Of course the list of those companies does not include the Trump Organization.

The Twitter spree continued with a boast of how there were no commercial aviation deaths because of his “strict” policies on the industry. He said it was the “best and safest” year on record. Never mind the fact there hasn’t been any deaths in commercial aviation since 2010. Some people got beat up and dragged off planes last year, but no deaths. You’d think there would have been at least one heart attack on a private plane from someone eating nothing but Big Macs and KFC.

He also tweeted another attack at the “failing” New York Times and how they treat the president unfairly. This was just another rehash of his usual shtick.

He tweeted about Democrats and DACA. He claimed they were doing nothing for DACA, the program he’s trying to end.

He boasted about taking Jerusalem “off the negotiation table.” Yes, the best negotiator in the world took it off the table, and us out of the peace process. Good job.

Then, he posted a tweet that got me excited. He’s promising to announce “the Most Dishonest & Corrupt Media Awards Of The Year” next Monday. I really hope it includes a category for political cartoonists.

None of that ignited a need for a political cartoon. They were just his usual nonsense. It’s not like he was goading North Korea to fire a nuclear weapon, start World War III, trash the peace overture Kim Jong Un made to the South, and did it all with a poorly-veiled reference to the size of his penis.

And then, Trump goaded North Korea to fire a nuclear weapon, start World War III, trash the peace overture, and he did it while making a reference to his penis. Seriously. His penis.

Trump tweeted, “North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un just stated that the ‘Nuclear Button is on his desk at all times.’ Will someone from his depleted and food starved regime please inform him that I too have a Nuclear Button, but it is a much bigger & more powerful one than his, and my Button works!”

First off, we don’t know if your “button” works, and we don’t wanna know. We don’t even want to think about it. La-la-la-la! Some of us would like to eat again.

I’ve heard pundits question if Trump would actually start a nuclear war to distract us from the Russia investigation. Some people believe he wants to push that button. Others believe he’s just boasting, as if the world doesn’t know we have the largest nuclear arsenal and military on the planet. My belief is, he doesn’t think that far ahead or about anyone else. Donald Trump is selfish and he will put his own feelings, personal interests, his wallet, and his fragile ego before the safety and security of entire nations.

Hillary Clinton told us we shouldn’t trust the nuclear codes with a guy who is triggered by a tweet. She was right.

We know he’s immature, narcissistic, and not capable of being presidential. He’s proven that way before that stupid tweet. What shouldn’t be questioned anymore is his mental stability.

Trump voters should carry a heavy burdensome guilt for inflicting the Trump presidency upon us. It should have started on his first day when he sent Sean Spicer out to lie to the American public about crowd sizes. It should have intensified when his response to a terrorist attack in London was to attack that city’s mayor. Starting a feud with the mayor of San Juan after Puerto Rico was struck by a hurricane and a war widow after her husband’s death should have put them over the edge. Defending Nazis and endorsing a pedophile definitely should have sealed the deal. But, starting a nuclear conflict is something they can’t practice their sycophancy with.

If a war starts, Donald Trump’s cabinet should be shamed for not exercising their responsibility by removing a madman from office and away from that nuclear button. They should be convening at this very moment to remove Trump and send his orange ass back to Trump Tower where he’ll be free to embellish and perpetuate “alternative facts” and conspiracy theories to his heart’s delight. He can waste all the time he wants on his “dishonest media awards.” The lives of people in four nations depends on it.

Sure, that’ll leave us with the world’s biggest ass kisser as president, but Mueller will probably nail him too.

Utah Senator Orrin Hatch announced his retirement yesterday. After the tax cut vote, Hatch said Trump’s presidency may be the best ever, and he didn’t even smirk while saying it. Obviously, Orrin is retiring at the right time and belongs in a special home. Trump should join him.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Button Boy


cjones01032018

I enjoy drawing Kim Jong Un almost as much as I like drawing Donald Trump. Why, if I lived in North Korea, well, I’d be dead. But you get the idea.

North Korea’s dictator used his annual address on New Year’s Day to ease tensions with the United States and South Korea, while also boasting of his nuclear capabilities. Though, in North Korea, it’s not 2018. It’s Juche 107.

Kim is desperate for his nation to be recognized as a nuclear power. I suppose having nuclear weapons alone does not make you a nuclear power, it’s your ability to deliver them.

Kim said “all of the mainland of the United States is within the range of our nuclear strike.” Believing the ease of such a strike makes you an official nuclear power, he also said, “It’s not a mere threat but a reality that I have a nuclear button on my desk.” Well isn’t that lovely? I do hope he means it figuratively and not literally. If he’s trying to emulate our leader’s desk layout, I wouldn’t want him to confuse his nuclear button for the one that brings him a Diet Coke.

I propose to the Dear Leader that he look into the nuclear football option. That’s where an aide carries a briefcase around that requires a code to launch nuclear missiles. The aide is always near the leader in case a strike is required, or he needs party guests at Mar-a-Lago to pose with it.

Kim is also trying to defuse tensions between the North and the South by offering to send athletes to the Winter Olympics which will take place in South Korea this February. Even this simple matter requires talks and negotiations. The North will look for a cease in military maneuvers by the South and the U.S., or/and easing of the four sanctions the United Nations placed upon them in 2017 (Juche 106).

Whether the North sends athletes or not to the Olympics, I expect them to test a missile during the games since international attention will be on the peninsula for those two weeks.

If there is actual progress between the North and South, the credit will go South Korea’s president, Moon Jae-in, and Kim Jong Un’s willingness, depending upon how desperate Kim is at the moment. It will be despite Donald Trump’s rhetoric of raining “fire and fury” on North Korea and his Twitter feed.

I do hope North Korea sends athletes to the Olympics. The gesture may help keep little chubby fingers that belong to despots, eastern and western, off nuclear buttons.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Dotard


cjones09252017

A lot of people were introduced to the Elton John song “Tiny Dancer” by the movie “Almost Famous.” For others, it was when they fell in love with it all over again. It’s the part of the film where a rock band is on their tour bus and everyone, including the band, roadies, groupies, and the underage Rolling Stone reporter all start singing along to the chorus. It probably would have ruined the song for me if the TV show “Friends” hadn’t already done that with the “hold me closer, Tony Danza” episode.

It’s hard to make the belligerents in a cartoon look more ridiculous than they actually are when the subjects are Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un. The only victim in this situation (so far) is Elton John.

I hate to say that Trump is out of his league in his war of childish insults with the leader of North Korea, as it may come off as defending Kim Jong Un (but it’s OK if Trump defends Russia from attacking the United States). But, it’s not a compliment to say one is better at being an immature and irrational human being. The reason Trump is out of his league is twofold.

First, despite Trump’s claim that he has “the best words,” Kim took him to school this week. In fact, Kim took a lot of people to school as the entire nation was looking up the definition of “dotard.” Kim has already brought more knowledge to Americans than Betsy DeVos, the Secretary of Education.

Several years ago when Clay Aiken was famous, I would have his name thrown at me every time I spoke at an elementary school. Calling me “Clay Aiken” was the type of thing that’s funny and creative to an eight-year-old. Occasionally an adult would use it and it would inform me immediately that I was dealing with a person whose growth was stunted. That’s what we’re dealing with in Donald Trump. Also, when someone comes up with a name and they stick with it, repeating it over and over, is a sign of a dumbass who probably watches a lot of professional wrestling.

Trump’s mind stopped developing around when he was eleven-years-old. For him, “loser,” “crooked,” and “lying” are big words and they’re extremely creative. Take “fake news” as an example. It doesn’t even work. If it’s fake then it’s not news. They say dogs can learn up to 200 words. Trump might know 97.

So, when you hear conservatives repeating words used by Donald Trump, you know who you’re dealing with. Last night, there was a rally in Alabama full of those people.

Kim is probably an intelligent person despite the insanity. But, when you’re raised in a culture that’s telling 25 million people you’re a god who can talk to dolphins, it’s probably going to go to your head. Even if he is smart, I’m sure he labored with input from others in writing his “personal” response to Trump.

In contrast, Donald Trump tweets at 3:00 AM, probably while sitting on the toilet, and he has delete, retweet, delete, retweet, before he finally lands on the correct spelling for “unprecedented.” We’re still trying to figure out “Covfefe.”

Kim has never responded personally. Usually, the statements are from the government, which represents all the people of the DPRK. I can assure you, Trump’s tweets do not speak for this nation. You’re not tying me to that shit.

Kim felt the need to respond personally after Trump spoke to the U.N. and threatened to destroy North Korea, while also calling him “Rocket Man.” And, this is the second point where Trump is out of his league.

Trump doesn’t know what he’s doing. In Kim’s response, he said that Trump is “mentally deranged.” The North Koreans are prone to hyperbole and insults, like threatening to destroy South Korea, the USA, and calling Obama a “monkey.” But, they’re not far off in calling Trump “mentally deranged.” Hey, even a broken clock is right twice a day. The other response from the DPRK is their foreign minister’s statement that they may explode a hydrogen bomb over the Pacific Ocean. This would be bad.

I hope Donald Trump understands the Pacific Ocean is that big body of water between the United States and Japan. It’s not Pacsun, the clothing store in malls. Maybe he can remember the Pacific Ocean by being reminded it’s where he lost that aircraft carrier.

Trump’s bullying and tough talk isn’t working out diplomatically. His threats only confirm to North Korea that they have to keep their nuclear weapons and continue to develop their missile system. At some point, something’s going to explode over a large population.

When people start dying, I don’t think anyone’s going to believe our toddler as an excuse for a president has the best words.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Dear Leaders and Generals


cjones09052017

On Sunday, North Korea detonated its largest nuclear weapon to date, with an explosion five times greater than any of their previous tests. It’s no longer a question if the rogue regime has a weapon capable of destroying a large city, but if and when they can miniaturize one and place it inside a missile, and how far that missile can reach.

After North Korea seemed to back down from their threat of firing a missile toward Guam, Trump and his surrogates credited his “fire and fury” comments. Trump went on to say that maybe North Korea was “starting to respect us.” North Korea responded by firing a missile over Japan. Trump responded to that test by saying, “talking is not the answer.” And now, Kim Jong Un has detonated his largest weapon to date.

Trump’s response to this? Taking to Twitter, of course, and going after…our allies. Trump criticized South Korea’s approach to the North as “appeasement.” He is also threatening to end trade with any nation that deals with North Korea.

Apparently, Trump has instructed his advisers to prepare to withdraw from a free-trade agreement we have with South Korea. His threat to end trade with nations that do business with North Korea would include China, Russia, and India, among others.

Meanwhile, his tweeting might be as nerve wracking internationally as Kim Jong Un’s nuclear hobby. David Straub, a former State Department official who dealt with both Koreas, said: “They (South Korea) think they’re dealing with an unreasonable partner and complaining about it isn’t going to help — in fact, it might make it worse.” Straub also said, “Opinion polls show South Koreans have one of the lowest rates of regard for Trump in the world, and they don’t consider him to be a reasonable person. In fact, they worry he’s kind of nuts, but they still want the alliance.”

South Korea isn’t alone in thinking Trump is nuts and unreasonable. Michael Hayden, a retired Air Force general and former head of the National Security Agency and the CIA said, “You gotta watch the tweets.” On CNN he said, “I think we had an unforced error over the weekend when we brought up the free trade agreement with our South Korea friends on whom we have to cooperate. . . . It’s wrong on the merits, and it’s certainly not integrated into a broader approach to northeast Asia.”

Adam Schiff, the top Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee said, “We need to be working hand in hand with South Korea, and with Japan. Why we would want to show divisions with South Korea makes no sense at all.”

Of course, none of it makes sense. In the past, Trump described Kim Jong Un as a “smart cookie,” and on the campaign trail, he said he’d be “honored” to meet with Kim and have a burger with him. Going after the South only encourages Kim to continue actions that will put further distance between us and our allies.

If Trump’s tweets and saber-rattling rhetoric has been a test to see if they’d intimidate North Korea, we can now consider those tests as failed.

Trump claimed he knew more than the generals, and he could handle basically every problem better than Obama. He’s proven the direct opposite, which isn’t a surprise. He needs to work with his generals and try to find real solutions. His tweeting isn’t just endangering his presidency, it’s endangering South Korea, Japan, and the United States.

When are we supposed to start all that winning we’ll eventually get tired of? If “talking is not the answer,” then the first to shut up should be Donald Trump.

Creative note: I reserve the right to break my cartooning rules. One of the more recent ones has been to refrain from using the Twitter logo. It’s been used to the point of overkill by my colleagues. It’s as bad as using the “MAGA” caps. They were fun at first, but not after two years of campaigning. It’s time to find new metaphors…and then maybe going back to them occasionally. For me, a great time is a Sunday night when  I can’t get all the cylinders in my brain working.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Emoji Mayhem


cjones08132017

Rex Tillerson should not be Secretary of State, but the man is an adult. A child doesn’t have angry eyebrows like that.

The man has negotiated million and billion dollar deals with dictators as the head of Exxon. He’s bought houses. He went to college. He probably knows how to drive a car. Being that he’s a Trump guy, MAYBE he pays taxes. He’s a father of four so at some point he probably changed a crappy diaper once. Then, those kids get older and you don’t have to change shitty diapers anymore and you even do the happy dance when they graduate to pull-ups. I did.

Then you find yourself at 65 years of age cleaning up shit after a shitty orange baby shits all over the place. He has to ask himself, how did he get back here? Like Danny Glover, he probably thinks he’s too old for this shit. But here he is changing diapers. It’s the same deal for H.R. McMaster, John Kelly, and James Mattis. Those are the only adults in the Trump administration. The rest are children running with scissors.

After Donald Trump had the mouth runs as a response to North Korea threatening the United States, Rex found himself trying to clean it up. Even Mr. Clean doesn’t want anything to do with this mess. That bald cartoon fucker has left town.

Trump said, “North Korea best not make any more threats to the United States. They will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen.” In response to this dire and scary warning that seems inspired by a direct-to-DVD Steven Seagal movie, North Korea promptly threatened us again, and with greater detail. They’re threatening to bomb Guam. That really has to suck for Guam, because as a U.S. territory they can’t vote for president, so Trump isn’t even their fault. They’re probably reading the news and thinking “aw fuck sticks.”

Tillerson attempted to calm everyone down by bullshitting, er…I mean, assuring us that, “Americans should sleep well at night.” The man is literally trying to tuck us in. Never mind that orange stupid twister outside. I’m sure it’ll miss this trailer park. Sweet dreams. We might as well all eat cake, pizza, and ice cream right before bed tonight. It’s not gonna make a difference tomorrow (for some of you that means “bourbon and cigarettes”).

Tillerson also said, “I think what the President was doing was sending a strong message to North Korea in language that Kim Jong Un would understand, because he doesn’t seem to understand diplomatic language.” The man is trying to explain away the rant of an immature baby while admitting the president’s “language” was not diplomatic. Hey, we haven’t tried imbecilic nonsense with North Korea, so lets’ see if that works.

“Hey, North Korea. I’m rubber, you’re glue. dot. dot. dot. dot. Fire and fury. dot. dot. dot. I’m great. Did you see my win in Michigan? dot. dot. dot. Fire and fury.”

Damn, I miss George Bush.

Trump tweeted, “there will never be a time that we are not the most powerful nation in the world!”. The man is literally talking like Kim Jong Un. I’m surprised it wasn’t delivered in Korean. Sebastian Gorka, a very angry Trump adviser running with scissors, went on Fox News and said, “we were a superpower, we are now a hyperpower.” Mmmmmkay. Isn’t it bad enough we have Trump making dumb statements? He doesn’t need any help.

That was almost as stupid as Stephen Miller’s statement, that Trump is the “most gifted politician of our time, and he’s the best orator to hold that office in generations.” Hide the scissors from that guy. On second thought, let him run.

On that note, Trump also tweeted, “my first order as President was to renovate and modernize our nuclear arsenal. It is now far stronger and more powerful than ever before….” Uh, I’m sure this is some stupid bullshit his sycophants will believe, but anyone with half a brain knows Donald Trump has not done shit to change our nuclear arsenal in the past six months. Not for better, not for worse, no change at all. It’s just a stupid, imbecilic, idiotic comment from the president of the United States. The man has taken credit for the economy, job rate, stock market, and the decrease in border crossings, all leftover from Obama’s watch. So, he probably read a brief, or had it read to him on how many nuclear weapons we have, and believes we acquired it last January.

It’s no wonder seven out of ten Americans can’t believe anything that comes from the president or the White House. Kim Jong Un doesn’t believe him either, which is why he crossed Trump’s red line and issued, not just another threat, a greater threat. A very specific threat.

I’ll be sleeping under my bed.

Creative notes: Much like the Angry Birds movie, I will not be seeing The Emoji Movie. Has Hollywood totally run out of ideas? But, I do hope this idea hasn’t already been used by another cartoonists.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.