Lock He Up


cjones10012017

Donald Trump believes rules do not apply to him. It’s not a belief he acquired after becoming president. He’s had this affliction for his entire life.

He doesn’t believe debt applies to him. He doesn’t believe he must be accountable to the truth to have credibility. He will accuse others of disrespecting veterans when he’s the one who has criticized POWs and Gold Star families. He’ll lecture us about patriotism while ignoring Russia’s multiple attacks on our nation.

During the campaign, he accused the Clinton’s of getting rich off their charity, while his own charity is his personal piggy bank for him to dip into to pay off lawsuits, politicians, and to purchase sports memorabilia (Tim Tebow the Kneeler, no less) and portraits of himself.

He engages in racist behavior and acts confused when people accuse him of racism. He goes off on golfing trips nearly every weekend, though he accused Obama of playing too much golf. He bemoaned Obama’s executive orders while touting his own as legislative accomplishments.

He won’t release his taxes but believes we should trust that he’s not in debt to Russia or that his new tax plan won’t benefit him and his family. He ignores the emoluments clause, profiting off the presidency by pimping his merchandise while visiting disaster areas, renting hotel rooms to foreign dignitaries, and charging the Secret Service rent to protect him and his Frodos. He practices nepotism by placing his daughter and son-in-law on his staff, despite the fact they don’t have any experience for the jobs he’s given them.

He engages in bullying over the internet while his wife is supposedly engaged in an anti-bullying campaign.

He encouraged his crowds of stupid people to chant “lock her up” over Hillary Clinton’s use of a private server while she was Secretary of State. He promised he was going to drain the swamp. These last two will be our focus today.

You’re not draining the swamp when members of your cabinet are renting private jets at the expense of taxpayers. When the boss doesn’t believe he has to be accountable, then why should his staff think they have to play by the rules?

And, now it has come out that Jared Kushner, the son-in-law, has been using a private email account. Jared is not the only one. Former Chief of Staff Reince Priebus, former chief strategist Steve Bannon, Chief Economic Adviser Gary D. Cohn, and senior adviser Stephen Miller all used private emails while working in the White House. There’s one more. Ivanka used a private email, complicitprincess@yahoo.com.

Did none of these people pay attention during the campaign? The “lock her up” bit was kind of a big part of the strategy. It didn’t just come up occasionally. Jared was working on the campaign. Between secret meetings with Russians, you would think he would have heard it once or twice. But, hey. Dad said no golf and he’s playing golf. So, what’s a little hypocrisy for the rest of the staff? Next thing you know they’ll all start wearing pantsuits.

Jared has also had a difficult time with his security clearance, as he’s had to amend it several times. He keeps forgetting about those meetings with Russians. When news came out this week that Jared was registered to vote in New York as a woman many people thought, “that makes sense.” The guy has trouble filling out paperwork. Perhaps the boxes with the “M” and the “F” confused him. As it turns out, it wasn’t Jared’s fault.

Jared was registered as a woman, but it was the election board’s error. Apparently, they took one look at him and put him in the system as a female. It was probably his high voice and his hands being soft from never having to work a day of manual labor in his life. Michael Cera, the actor, may want to check his registration since he’s a doppelganger for Kushner. They both have that squeaky voice that makes you want to throw bricks at them.

The goof over Jared’s registration is almost the problem with Ivanka and Don Jr’s registration. They were unable to vote in the Republican primary as they were registered as Democrats.

Jared will continue to be made fun of for being registered as a woman. But rest assured, he’s definitely a male. The Russian ambassador can vouch for him.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

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One comment

  1. Good cartoon and good column, but… “charging the Secret Service rent to protect him and his Frodos”? Did you mean “Fredos”, as in Don Vito Corleone’s incompetent son? Or is this a Sauron reference?

    Like

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