A Real Mother


cjones04172017

I am not cool with Donald Trump dropping bombs. I wouldn’t trust the guy with a cigarette lighter. Many people are partisan about this while others are not.

A Washington Post-ABC News poll conducted in 2013 found that only 37% of Democrats would support President Barack Obama bombing Syria. A new Post-ABC poll conducted this week found that 38% supported Trump’s missile strike on Syria. That’s not partisan at all. Democrats haven’t been in favor of bombing Syria now or then, no matter who is the president.

The same poll asked Republicans and guess what it found. It found those shit weasels are as partisan as New England Patriots fans. In 2013 only 22% of Republicans would have supported Obama bombing Syria. In 2017, 86% of shit weasels love that Trump bombed Syria.

That’s par for the course for Republicans. It’s OK if a Republican does it. Obama can’t play golf but Trump can. Obama can’t take a vacation but Trump can. Obama’s wife can’t display her arms but Trump’s wife can do a nude-lesbian-photo spread. Obama can’t serve chocolate cake to the president of China but Trump can. Republicans would be OK if Trump went all Bill Cosby (Dad is great. He served us chocolate cake) and served chocolate cake for breakfast. Though if you’re being served chocolate cake by Cosby and you have a nice rack, or have done a nude-lesbian-photo spread, you may not wanna eat that cake. And knowing Trump, since he said it was the “most beautiful piece of cake” ever, it probably wasn’t even cake. It was probably one of those apple pies from McDonald’s or a chocolate fudge pop-tart. That would be like taking a big gulp of Pepsi when you were expecting Coke and then your entire day is ruined.

Back to the subject: Republicans are totally partisan about who drops bombs and eats chocolate cake. I was never in favor of Obama bombing Syria, but I would be a hell of a lot more comfortable with him or Hillary Clinton bombing bad guys than I am with Trump doing it. I’m not being partisan with that. Let me explain.

It’s not about Democratic over Republican or liberal versus conservative. It’s a preference for educated people over dumbasses. Obama and Clinton read. They are informed. Trump on the other hand doesn’t read his daily briefings. The guy doesn’t read at all. He seems to believe politics and history started when he took the oath of office. He just now found out that healthcare is complicated and that the situation in Korea is trickier than he thought (which he probably discovered while eating chocolate cake with Xi Jinping). Korea has been a complicated mess since before Japan relinquished the peninsula after World War II. Trump discovered this after ten minutes of talking to President Xi. I would really prefer someone to be much more informed and up to speed on information like that before he becomes president. We are talking about a man who believes his son-in-law can solve the Middle East crisis (Psst. Mr. President. It’s complicated).

While talking to the press Trump seemed confused about whether or not he authorized the Mother Of All Bombs the military dropped on Afghanistan on Thursday. This is a 23,000 lb. bomb that has existed since 2003 and George W. Bush and Obama both refused to use. I believe Trump told his military to use whatever they felt was necessary and then found out about the drop on Fox News and then he gave himself a medal. I’m sure Bush and Obama were well informed on the bomb and Trump didn’t know it existed until it went boom boom.

Another reason I don’t want Trump dropping bombs: I’m not sure he knows who he’s bombing. Sure everyone gets a name wrong or mangles a statement. George W. Bush once said “they never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” Bush wasn’t actually thinking about destroying our country. He didn’t think at all. Destroying our country wasn’t ever his intention. It was a bonus of the Bush/Cheney administration.

Obama once said he had visited 57 states. I don’t believe that Obama actually thought there are 57 states. I also don’t believe The Beatles thought there were eight days in a week.

During an interview this week on Fox Business, while talking about chocolate cake, Trump described the 59 missiles headed toward Iraq. The interviewer replied “headed to Syria?” Trump looked back at her like he was surprised and repeated “Syria.” I don’t think Trump misspoke. It was like when you were in school and you didn’t study but you did open the book and you blurt out an answer and you’re surprised you were correct. Trump remembered more details about that damn cake than he about the mission he just ordered. I hope the generals ask multiple times which country Trump is wanting to bomb the next time he orders a strike.

I also don’t want anyone using bombs as a distraction from being under an FBI investigation for treason. Are these bombings going to be a weekly thing now? I really hope Trump doesn’t find out Canada gave us Nickelback or that North Koreans are whacking off to pictures of Melania. I’m just kidding. Trump probably loves Nickelback.

Again, I do not want Trump in charge of missiles, bombs, guns, our military, lighter fluid, plastic forks, pointy sticks, nothing. I don’t think it’s safe to let the guy play with Legos as he might swallow one. Just no.

I don’t think it’s a hyperbole to be worried that we’re not going to get through the Trump administration without using a nuclear weapon. There will not be enough chocolate cake to get me through that.

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5 comments

    1. I appreciate your asking but two things: First, you are an activist site and I normally can’t be involved with such things since I’m supposed to be subscribing to journalism ethics. Two, I have clients who pay to use my work so it wouldn’t be fair to them if I gave it to you. I do like the exposure and I appreciate the request so thanks again.

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  1. Trump is a chickenhawk. He knows squat about the military but wants to be a big macho bully, and I’m sure that’s why he wanted to drop the big bomb. Somebody (thank you) probably had to talk him out of using a nuclear one. He’s building up the military budget because he really, really wants to win a war. I doubt he cares where. Ditto the GOPs who support him bombing anyplace as long as it’s not some Democrat doing it.

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