That’s A Spicy History Lesson

Even I’m starting to feel a little sorry for Sean Spicer. You know you had a bad day when there’s a Twitter hashtag that’s a combination of your name and “Hitler.”

Why else would I feel bad for Spicer? First off, Spicer has to face 200 reporters on a daily basis and explain policies for an administration that doesn’t have any policies, or that changes them on a daily basis. He has to lie, make up a lot of crap, and argue stupid positions like crowd sizes. Then there’s the fact he’s speaking to an audience of one.

But the biggest reason I feel sorry for Spicer is that he’s just not good at his job. The man can’t get names straight or enunciate. Everyone fudges something up while speaking, me especially, but speaking well is kinda important if your official title is “spokesperson.” So you need to learn to speak well, or in Sean’s case, talk good.

From “Malcolm Trumble” to “Joe Trudeau” or referring to Bashar al-Assad as “Asher” or “Ashad” or “Alashar” or “Alaseer,” Spicy mumbles names. It’s so bad that the Sydney Morning Herald has created a “Spicer-ize name generator.”  Mine would be “Claypole Jonesy.” But seriously, Sydney is in Australia (in case you’re a Trump voter and didn’t know that). We’ve sunk so low that the Australians are cracking on us (That dig was for you, Joe)?

He’s called the Presidential Daily Briefing the “PBD.” Get your acronym’s right, buddy. At least he didn’t refer to them as “PBJs.” When speaking of the terrorist attack in Orlando, he confused it with Atlanta. But yesterday may be his worst one yet when he referred to Hitler’s gas chambers as “Holocaust Centers.”

What the hell? Hitler used gas chambers to execute millions of Jews. They were not “Holocaust Centers.” That sounds like a place you’d go to get your Holocaust license.

And of course an even bigger mistake was defending Hitler, and not just on any normal bad day for defending Hitler. Spicy defended Hitler during Passover.

Spicer was trying to describe how bad al-Assad is for using chemical weapons on his own people by saying it was something Hitler didn’t do. Except Hitler did exactly that and by the millions. Spicer tried to backtrack and say Hitler didn’t drop bombs on his own population…but yeah. That doesn’t make it better. And there were German Jews who were victims of the Holocaust, Spicy. You know, German Jews…Jews from Germany…where Hitler was chancellor….which is the leader of Germany….so German Jews were his people. Hello? Is this thing on?

Here’s the thing: Don’t use Hitler equations! Especially if you’re in the Trump administration where you have alt-righties on staff and a president who retweets Nazis. Just don’t do it. Oh, and here’s another thing Hitler did: He coordinated with the Russians before he betrayed them. At least Trump was nice enough to call them and let them know what time and where the bombs would drop. Poland never got that courtesy.

Spicer did man up and apologize for his “no gassing” and “Holocaust Centers” comments. He sent out a statement attempting to explain his mouth tragedy. Actually, he sent out four. He couldn’t land the apology. He then went on several news shows to explain and Wolf Blitzer actually asked him if he was aware that Hitler killed Jews in the Holocaust.

The people who live with me probably think I’m laughing while watching The Simpsons, not CNN. Get some Trump people on the news and that shit’s just hilarious.

Creative note: I originally tweeted the “little tiny mustache” statement. It got such a response that I regretted tweeting it and wished I had saved it for a cartoon. Often when I tweet out a smart-ass comment someone will use it for a cartoon or a meme. So all cartoon ideas I keep to myself until the cartoon is published. Today I thought “eh, screw it.” So if you see anyone else use this, they’re a bloody thief. Do me a solid and go kick them in the goober. Thanks.

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