Birthers Have Hell Toupee

Two shocking things happened Thursday night.

Donald Trump went on the Jimmy Fallon Show (Late Night? Late Show? Tonight Show? I don’t watch that stuff) and he let Jimmy mess up his hair. Seriously. Afterward he looked like one of those hideous troll dolls but he still let someone mess up his hair. He did prove to the nation that his hair is indeed his and not a toupee. I’ve been saying for years it was his own hair. Why would anyone, less enough a billionaire, pay for something that looks so ridiculous, even if he could get his charity to pay for it?

The other shocker is that Trump’s campaign finally admitted that president Obama was born in the United States. Trump hasn’t actually done it yet, but a few of his surrogates have and now his campaign has officially sent out a statement. Of course with that statement admitting the truth they had to include a few lies.

The first lie within the statement was the Hillary Clinton and her 2008 campaign team started the birther movement. Conservatives love to spread this one but is a lie. The other lie is that Trump did “a great service to the President and the country” by prompting Obama to release his long-form birth certificate in 2011, which Trump continued to question. Yes, thank you for all the racism. Bless your heart. That’s like setting fire to a daycare center then taking credit for giving firefighters an opportunity to be heroes. We’ll return to the subject of fires near the end of this column.

In an interview with The Washington Post published today, Trump says now is not the time to talk about birtherism. Really? There shouldn’t have ever been a time, Donald. For a few years it’s all he would talk about and even demanded a birth certificate that would include the president’s religion. But now Trump doesn’t want to talk about it. He says it will take away the focus from jobs, the military, veterans and national security, as if Trump has spent any time actually talking about specific things he would do in any of those areas.

The reason Trump doesn’t want to be recorded acknowledging that Obama was born in the United States is because it will disappoint the deplorable faction of his followers. Their heads might explode.

I suggest that base of supporters should mimic the hairdo I gave Trump in this cartoon. May I suggest a light socket?

The other topic slightly touched upon in this cartoon are the exploding Samsung Galaxy Note 7 phones. It’s gotten so bad the U.S. government has issued a recall for them. If you’re a Muslim now would not be a good time to attempt to board an airplane with a Note 7. No one will ever see you again.

I am actually a big fan of Samsung products though I’m much less a fan of being set on fire. My tablet is a Samsung and it rocks. I have a Samsung flat screen that’s sitting in storage (I gotta unpack). Even the laptop I’m writing this on is a Samsung. I had a Galaxy phone a few years ago and I liked it a lot too. The Nokia I have now is over three years old and the power button doesn’t work anymore though I figured out a way around that. Sometimes it doesn’t make sounds so I’ll miss a phone call or a text. I’ve been thinking abour replacing it and have had my eye on an inexpensive Samsung Galaxy for a while now but I think I’m going to wait a bit longer. My current Nokia might be funking out here and there but the one thing it doesn’t do is set me on fire. I like not being on fire.

Update: Today Donald Trump, on camera, finally admitted himself that Obama was born in the United States. He only spent 30 seconds on the subject despite spending years on it before. I had a feeling he would do this today as the heat was on, but I am surprised he did it on camera. I wonder if heads in the basket of deplorables exploded like Samsung Phones.

He still blames Hillary Clinton and her supporters for starting it. He is a child to use that argument. You do something wrong and you cry “they started it.” Donald Trump is the Republican nominee for the presidency, not a baby. He should quit acting like one.

Instead of taking credit for “finishing” the argument of birtherism, Trump should man up and apologize to the president and to the nation.

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