Facebook News

When conservatives complain about the media being liberal, what they’re really upset about is the media reporting facts. Sure there’s bias in the media, but it’s not a massive agenda being carried out just because you’re not hearing what you want to hear, or believe.

The “mainstream” media is not liberally biased. If anything, the number one cable news network has a conservative bias, with that being Fox News. Here’s a news flash for those watching the news and whining that it’s not on their side: The media, cable news, newspapers, and websites, number one agenda is to make money. It’s all about ratings, circulation and advertising. If we’re to believe the media is actually biased then right now the media wants Donald Trump to become president. Only the political cartoonists actually want that to happen.

If you really want honest news then you would not demand more conservative or liberal news. You would demand news. Even if the media is biased one way or another, creating more biased media does not balance anything. Misinformation and lies doesn’t correct another source of misinformation and lies. I demand facts and comprehensive coverage. That’s what I use to form my petition.

This week conservatives are complaining about a report that Facebook is suppressing conservative news from trending. Trending is that thing on the right hand side of your Facebook page, which I know you have open right now. At this very moment what’s trending on my Facebook is: London mayor Sadiq Khan, climate activists protesting in Anacotes, Washington, Zika in Singapore, fishermen in Melville Island, Australia caught a cod with a snake in its mouth, the tiny Vaquita Porpoise, a missing 81-year-old man in Spotylvania County, Virginia (that one targeted me), Angry Birds the movie (maybe Facebook doesn’t know), world’s biggest plane lands in Australia and lands in a fish’s mouth (I made that last part up), Nevada Democratic Convention, and Facebook’s CEO delivers a commencement speech.

Unless that tiny dolphin is claiming Donald Trump made odd sexual remarks at her back in the 90’s, I’m not detecting a liberal bias in that list.

My main news source is Google News. I scroll there and click on articles from multiple outlets. It’s the best resource for me. I flip channels between CNN and MSNBC during the day and will occasionally watch Fox News to see how they’re spinning something. MSNBC is conservative in the morning, straight forward from midday to the evening, and at night liberally biased at night. CNN is straightforward and they balance their panels on their nightly shows. Fox News, where every female is required to be a blonde and they’re not allowed to wear sleeves,M is just always biased toward conservatives. The ONE America News makes Fox News look like the BBC.

Are you really complaining you’re not getting enough Breitbart and Daily Caller through Facebook? Do you know how to bookmark? Does your current news filter not provide enough racist comments that fit your agenda? Bookmark. Learn it. Use it. Shut up.

One fact is that a lot of people are getting their news from Facebook. Facebook doesn’t gather news. They share it. They don’t employ any political cartoonists, the bastards.

Facebook does select what’s trending and they target their readers toward their habits. Every time you click “like” on a photo (or a cartoon) or click on one of those sites that click bait you to inform you of your Jedi name or if your cat was Al Capone in a previous life, Facebook is gathering information about you. Each time you post a selfie, Facebook knows you’re a narcissist and attempts to sell you a selfie stick. Each time you post a food picture, Facebook knows you’re lonely and crying for help but directs you toward Taco Bell instead. Every time (Every. Single. Freaking time) you announce you’re a vegetarian, everybody already knows because you won’t shut up about it (and those food pics are about as alluring as that nude portrait of Trump with the tiny penis making the rounds. Oh you haven’t seen that? Do NOT go looking for it!).

Mark Zuckerberg is going to meet with conservative news leaders like Glenn Beck this week to talk about Facebook’s trending news. There’s nothing he’s going to say to the perpetual victims that will satisfy them so if I was him I’d rather just tell them to go suck a lemon.

Stupid, low informed people have a very low bar for their news source. Since Zuckerberg is attempting to appease them anyway, I suggest he tag all of them with memes.

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