Bad For Your Health

Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy wants tobacco-like warning labels for social media because it’s bad for your health. It’s indeed bad for your health but I’m OK. I can stop anytime. Hack, hack, hack.

In a column for The New York Times, Dr. Murthy wrote, “It is time to require a surgeon general’s warning label on social media platforms, stating that social media is associated with significant mental health harms for adolescents. A surgeon general’s warning label, which requires congressional action, would regularly remind parents and adolescents that social media has not been proved safe. Evidence from tobacco studies show that warning labels can increase awareness and change behavior.”

I don’t have a problem with warning labels on social media, but it should be noted that we already knew tobacco was bad for us before the warning labels came along. I’m pretty sure all of us, even kids, are aware that social media isn’t healthy. But how do you get kids to reduce their time on social media when adults can’t get off it?

And where would they put the labels? Maybe in pop-up windows as people tap into their accounts. I know everybody enjoys a good pop-up window. Actually, if you flooded social media with pop-up windows, that would be effective in getting people to quit.

In addition to placing labels on social media warning that this product will ruin your mind, addict you to arguing with strangers over who was better in Quantum Leap, Scott Bakula or the new guy, be subjected to false information, be bullied by trolls, encounter Nazis like Laura Loomer, get scammers to create fake accounts with a profile pic of a hot babe who asks in your comment section to send “her” a friend request, and be subjected to the racist whims of Elon Musk, they should also put warning labels on guns.

Would warning labels on guns reduce sales, probably not. Back in the 1980s, Tipper Gore wielded her influence as a senator’s wife to have warning labels placed on heavy metal music which only made kids buy heavy metal music with the warning labels. Nobody wanted to buy a Stryper album (Stryper was a Christian heavy metal band. Seriously). Those warning labels probably kept Twisted Sister around for two albums instead of just one. Quick…name three Twister Sister songs. If anything, there should be warning labels on Nickelback and James Blunt albums.

Fun fact: Being shot is bad for your health. Hell, we banned lawn darts but we can’t get a warning label on guns?

I doubt warning labels would stop a person from buying a gun. Who buys an assault rifle without knowing what it’s made for? But, maybe if we place warning labels on guns, it’ll annoy gun fuckers who’ll claim that it somehow violates the Second Amendment.

Personally, I’d rather my son be on social media than own a gun. Don’t ask me how that’s going.

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