Social Media

I Did NAZI That Spoiler Coming


It’s bad enough that the internet is full of Russian trolls and idiots spreading conspiracy theories, but there are also people not just spreading hate, but motivating terrorism.

The white nationalist terrorists in Christchurch and Poway, California were frequent visitors to the online image board 8chan where they also shared their manifestos of hate.

I always thought it was terrible that conservative propaganda sites that pretend to be news like Breitbart and the Daily Callers are magnets for racists, conspiracy theorists, and just all-around stupid right-wing idiots.

8chan started after 4chan (another racist site) started cracking down on Gamergaters and child porn distributors. The board offers encouragement and cheerleading to white terrorists and graphically lionizes those who make good on their threats. The Poway synagogue shooter claimed he had been radicalized by 8chan in just 18 months. And the most dangerous thing you’ve had to avoid over the past week has been Avengers and Game of Throne spoilers. Me too.

The last time I saw a “hot” movie and posted about it, within minutes someone posted a spoiler in the comments. So, I don’t tell people on social media when I’ve seen a recently released movie (though I did see Avengers: Endgame Sunday night) because I don’t want people using me to drop spoilers. And, some people who drop spoilers don’t even realize they’re dropping a spoiler. But, ever since I stumbled upon the Force Awakens spoiler before I saw the film, any time I even see the title of something I don’t want spoiled, I keep scrolling as fast as I can without reading the rest of the sentence.

To steal my favorite quote from the TV show Scrubs, “People are bastard covered bastards with a bastard creme filling.”

But, at some point, you gotta go see the movie because you can’t expect people to sit on it forever. If you don’t know Bruce Willis has been dead all along in Sixth Sense, then that’s your own stupid fault. But, I do feel bad for when Willis eventually dies (hopefully, a very long time from now) because when someone posts a link to his obituary, someone’s going to think it’s a spoiler.

NOT a spoiler alert: I’m going out of town Thursday so you may not get a cartoon from me this Friday. So, you’re getting two today. But, it’s like leaving two bowls of dog food for the dog (hopefully, for the dog), he’s going to eat both immediately. So come Friday, you’ll probably still be waiting for a new cartoon. I’ve spoiled you.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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The Morning After


I am drawing for the days after the election. As I wrote yesterday, the window for election cartoons is closed. I still might do something on Jim Comey as that’ll probably be discussed beyond Tuesday.

I know you’re on Facebook. Everyone is on Facebook. I have friends whose dogs are on Facebook. Those dogs might be the only members of the social media community who haven’t unfriended someone over political beliefs.

There’s been a lot of talk about people unfriending and blocking others for disagreeing. I have seen people post “if you’re voting for Trump unfriend me now.” I think that’s extreme. Personally I want to know the arguments of people I disagree with, even the most hateful and vile people. I want to know what they’re saying. If they’re really stupid and engage in conspiracy theories I tend to ignore them. If there’s one good thing about social media and this election is that now you know which of your friends are racists. And to think before all this all you had were suspicions.

Despite my open mindedness toward people I disagree with I have had to block a few people. Not so much because they disagree but for other reasons. I blocked one person for constantly bombing my wall with memes and harassing my friends. I had to block a couple others for similar reasons. And I block people who tag me in those stupid Ray-Ban ads but that doesn’t count (someone once put a porn picture on my wall too which had to go). But usually I’m the one who is unfriended. I have been unfriended a lot. Conservative cartoonists have been unfriending me waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay before Donald Trump announced he was running for president. You name the cartoonist, yeah he’s probably unfriended and blocked me. In their defense I am kind of a jerk.

I have two sisters and neither are my friends on Facebook but in my defense they’re both insane (still love them). I’ve heard of a lot of other people who can’t talk to family members right now which makes me feel a little better (I still have my big brother, son, and several nieces and nephews who probably never read this blog). My best friend from high school, who is still married to the woman I introduced him to, has unfriended me (and I never even talked to him about this election). However, his wife is still my friend. A friend I’ve known for 16 years and who I helped move once unfriended me a couple days ago (he was always kind of a stupid baby about everything anyway. And he likes Nickelback so no big loss there). There’s probably a dozen others I’m not even aware of. At some point I’ll think of someone and wonder how come I never see their posts anymore and then figure it out. I didn’t even know one of my sisters had blocked me until the other texted to inform me (neener neener). But this election has brought me more readers, friends, and fans. I look forward to many years of annoying them.

To my Facebook friends who’ve argued with me and have remained mature enough not to unfriend, thank you. I’m sure we’ll bicker in the future. I don’t get angry or take it personal with stuff like that. I can argue with you and then share a sandwich together. A few of my Republican friends can vouch for that. One of them helped me set up this website and he knew I was going to use it to publish godless liberal cartoons drawn for heathens. He also fed me ribs that night. Nice guy.

But you know what? If you don’t want to talk to people you disagree with about politics then maybe you shouldn’t talk about politics. Don’t make political posts if you don’t want knuckleheads coming in and disagreeing with you. And if you don’t like seeing what your friends post, then don’t join the conversation. Move on with your life. Just keep scrolling. There are plenty of selfies, food and cat pictures on social media (which annoys me more than any pro Trump posts). Seriously, people. How come that crap hasn’t gotten old to you yet? I’m not interested in your fascination with your face, your cat, and unless you’re buying me lunch I really don’t need to see a picture of it.

But come Wednesday morning, call your mom. Call your dad. Call your crazy uncle. Call your brother. Call your sister. Well…you might wanna give the sisters a few more extra days (in my case, years). Actually, if they supported Trump they’re really not going to be in a good mood for a while so you might wanna give them a month….or two…..just forget it. They’ll call you.

Then buy them a sandwich.

Psst. There’s a few Easter eggs in this cartoon. Give yourself ten points if you can find one.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Time To Unfriend


I made comments about making a Star Wars analogy this week but I honestly didn’t plan to. What do you know, I got one in anyway.

There’s been a social media trend over the past few weeks to ditch friends on social media who support Trump. I’ve seen posts stating “if you support Donald Trump then go ahead and unfriend me now.” A lot of people don’t have patience or tolerance for the Trump Trolls.

I think most people don’t like to hear anything they disagree with. But c’mon. It didn’t take Donald Trump to reveal which of your friends are bigots, racists, homophobic, xenophobic jerks.

Yes, it’s hard to tolerate someone who supports a candidate who runs a campaign like a school yard bully without any specifics. It’s hard to reason with someone who supports bigotry and can’t grasp nuance. But I take the position that it’s good to know which of my friends are idiots and support the total and complete destruction of the United States of America.

I’m not unfriending anyone for supporting Trump. It goes the other way too and if they’ve spent all these years tolerating my liberal views, which they hate, then I can put up with their being a troll. Well, at least the ones who haven’t blocked me yet.

Sloppy, hateful politics I can tolerate. If you spoil Star Wars for me I’ll kill you. Not literally, but in the virtual world I will do to you what Obi Wan Kenobi did to Darth Maul. Yes, I will chop you in half and drop you down a seemingly bottomless energy shaft on Naboo.

In fact, anytime I see “Star Wars” in a post I continue scrolling. I won’t finish reading the sentence. I will not read a review, no matter how bold the text claims it doesn’t contain spoilers. I’m going to see the movie anyway so no review can influence whether I see the movie or not. The bad thing is, I might be the last person to see the movie. I need to find a way to go into a Facebook/Twitter carbonite freeze until I see the movie.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Facebook Jumpers


Of course I’m on Facebook. Isn’t everybody?

Facebook is very useful for me. I mostly use it to promote my cartoons but I get a lot of personal use out of it also. It’s great to stay in contact with friends from high school, old work colleagues I haven’t seen in 20 years, family members I haven’t seen in over a decade and people I still see in the real world. I also like to talk politics and argue with conservatives (to a point. You eventually realize that arguing with a conservative isn’t a fair fight as they’re ill equipped to deal with actual information).

I also like to turn it off sometimes and ignore it. That can be difficult as the settings on my phone make it beep every time I get an update on Facebook. But when I’m able to ignore it for eight hours or so I usually come back to about 50 notifications. That’s a good thing because it means people are reading my cartoons. They click the like button (I’m looking forward to the upcoming dislike button, by the way), leave comments and they share the cartoons, which gets shared by their friends which gets shared by their friends, etc.

Apparently Facebook went down Monday. I think it was the third time over the past month. I never noticed. All I noticed were posts informing me that it had gone down, which is like getting a phone call informing you that your phone is working.

People freak out when Facebook goes down. When I worked at The Free Lance-Star the human resources department decided one day that they should block Facebook from all the company computers. It took about four seconds for the entire newsroom to notice. It was like a wave at a sporting event. All down the newsroom heads were popping up from cubicles screaming about Facebook being down. It was a huge revolt. Facebook was unblocked within the hour. If only we could have rallied the troops as well to fight for restoring the pay they had cut, or hours, or our 401K, or our benefits, or our jobs. I’ve only seen a newsroom freak out to that extent over two other issues. Free food and an earthquake. The earthquake probably comes in third.

There’s also a couple of Facebook hoaxes currently making the rounds. If you’re on Facebook (and you are) you’re aware of it and may have fallen for it. I haven’t. I’m trained to be suspicious about everything. The new hoax is that you need to copy and paste some legal jargon or your photos and statuses will be less private. Don’t fall for it. Nothing is going to change the way everyone can see those selfies and cat pictures.

The other hoax is that you need to post the legalese to avoid being charged $9.10 to remain private.


One other thing, and it has to be true because I read it on the internet. More people are killed taking selfies than killed by sharks. So if you must take a selfie, do it with a shark.