Trump And Nancy

When it comes to historians ranking our presidents, Donald Trump comes in dead last, but if we were to rank them by creepiest, Trump would come in a hot first leaving all the other presidents in his dust, even sweaty Nixon.

Donald Trump is the worst, most pathetic, and corrupt president in our nation’s history…and he’s the creepiest. He visited the Capitol today, which took a lot of gall since he tried to burn it down with white nationalist insurrectionist asshole terrorists who were looking to murder the object or his desires in the process. During his visit, he exposed his lust for former speaker of the house, Nancy Pelosi.

According to Jake Sherman at Punchbowl News, Trump reportedly told some Republicans during his visit, “Nancy Pelosi’s daughter is a whacko, her daughter told me if things were different Nancy and I would be perfect together, there’s an age difference though.” If she actually said that, then she is a whacko, but she didn’t say it.

Before we get to the creepiness and the lie, let’s address the age difference. Nancy Pelosi is 84. Trump turns 78 tomorrow. That’s a seven-year age difference. That’s not a huge age difference for adult couples. My last girlfriend was about 15 years younger than me, and she was still the more mature one in the relationship…pull my finger.

The hypocritical sexist part of this is that Trump’s wife, the one who doesn’t sleep with him or attend his criminal trials, is 54 which is a 24-year age difference between her and Trump. We already knew pussy-grabber-rapey Trump was a sexist, but it’s nice of him to give us another example.

Christine Pelosi posted on Twitter/X, “Speaking for all 4 Pelosi daughters — this is a LIE. His deceitful, deranged obsession with our mother is yet another reason Donald Trump is unwell, unhinged and unfit to step foot anywhere near her — or the White House.”

A spokesman for the former speaker said, “That guy has clearly lost his marbles. Not that he had many to begin with.” And from what I hear, they’re teeny tiny itty bitty marbles at that.

Nancy Pelosi issued a statement before Trump expressed his desires for her, focusing on his visit to the Capitol, saying, “The instigator of an insurrection is returning to the scene of the crime. With his pledges to be a dictator on day one and seek revenge against his political opponents, Donald Trump comes to Capitol Hill today with the same mission of dismantling our democracy. But make no mistake — Trump has already cemented his legacy of shame in our hallowed halls.”

Of course, Trump desires Pelosi. It’s like when the rich snobby girl in high school looked your way and said, “Ew,” which made you hate and want her. That happened to all of us guys…right, guys? What? Just me? She was a lesbian anyway, and I already had a girlfriend who went to a different school that none of my friends had met. Anyway, it’s kinda like that with Trump.

Nancy Pelosi took the House away from Trump and then she proceeded to spend the next two years kicking his ass. When he shut down the government to get funds for his wall, the negotiations didn’t go well for the self-described “greatest negotiator” who promised his side they’d get tired of winning. At the start of those negotiations, Nancy was willing to give him some money for his racist monument but in the end, he got zip, nada, squat. He probably went home from those negotiations and did weird things to his body with a loofah in the shower while thinking about it. I’m kidding. He doesn’t take showers.

So, whose word are we supposed to take over this, Trump’s or Pelosi’s daughter? Naturally, you believe the person who hasn’t been documented telling over 36,000 lies.

Ya know, I’m starting to think Trump sent that hammer guy to attack Paul Pelosi to take him out of the picture.

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