Nancy Pelosi

Kickin’ It With Chuck And Nancy


To help set the proper mood, THIS is the music for the first panel, and THIS is the music for the second.

An expression I’m sick and tired of is “nothing burger.” It’s popular with conservatives, who also love “fake news.” Both terms are often used together, as in “this Russian collusion story is a nothing burger and fake news.” Leave it to Republicans to muck up their metaphors since neither can actually exist. Technically, if it’s fake then it’s not news, and if there’s nothing on that burger then how can it be a burger? You can’t give me two slices of bread and tell me that’s a sandwich.

When someone describes something as a “nothing burger,” that just means there’s a lot of shit on that burger. Or, when they say “fake news,” you might wanna check to make sure we’re not at Defcon Five. It’s kinda like when George W. Bush said the Keystone Pipeline was a “no brainer,” when it was actually something that you might want to apply some brains to….or Donald Trump’s use of “believe me” is his way of saying “I’m lying my ass off and I should probably go to prison for this shit.”

The great deal maker that is Donald Trump totally caved into Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi. He did it on his own turf, the Oval Office, and in front of Majority Leaders Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell. I think Anthony Scaramucci must have left his “front-stabbing” knife in the White House because Trump took it and cut Ryan and McConnell’s guts out.

But you know, maybe if you had to choose between making a deal with Democrats or guys who look like Eddie Munster and a turtle, you’d deal with the Democrats too.

Trump’s deal with Chuck and Nancy was to kick the can of the debt ceiling down the road for three months which will keep the government running and to provide disaster relief for the hurricanes. While Republicans are howling in protest, it might be the first smart thing Trump has done and is in the best interest of the country.

Why? For starters, Democrats round up their votes. Republicans are herding cats. Really stupid cats. The other reason it was a smart deal is that over 100 Republicans voted against disaster relief…including several from Texas and Florida. I told you them cats be stupid. They also have back-stabbing knives they use on their constituents.

Republicans are surprised that Trump sold them out. It’s kinda like being surprised that Donald Trump is a Nazi-hugging bigot after he just spent the last two years attacking Mexicans, Muslims, women, transgenders, etc.

The guy who had to eat the most poo was Paul Ryan. Mitch McConnell has been eating it for a while. But, Ryan really had to master some spin on this deal. Before the deal was made Ryan described the Democrats’ proposal as “ridiculous.” The day after he was spinning it as Trump wanting a “bipartisan response and not a food fight on the timing of the debt limit.” Paul, there is a food fight but it’s not food your party is throwing.

Paul Ryan had a reputation for being intelligent, and he was known as a policy wonk. Now he’s coming off like that kid you knew in high school who required seven attempts to get his learners permit. Ryan’s driving into trees and snow banks.

Every Republican exposed their backside to Trump’s treachery when they got in bed with him, and they’re all dumbasses, but Ryan was supposed to be the smart one. Since Ryan can’t legislate or lead his party then he’s no different or better than say, a Mitch McConnell. Mitch can’t accomplish shit either. How’s that Obamacare repeal working out? Are you tired of winning yet?

Trump wanted to win, and to win he had to play with Democrats. Maybe he is learning on the job. Making deals with the opposition party worked for Reagan, Clinton, Bush I, and Bush II. The Republicans problem is that they’re just not as smart as the Democrats…and that’s not exactly a high bar for comparison.

Now if only Republicans could be as upset about Trump’s collusion with Putin as they are for his dancing with Chuck and Nancy.

Creative notes: I had to Google some weird stuff for this cartoon. I’m not alone in this house and I had my door open so cats could run in and out and not sit outside my shut door meowing to come in. So, I was afraid someone would walk by or visit just as I was looking up outfits for Vladimir and Trump. There are two ladies in this house and I’m not sure they’d buy the “researching for work” excuse.

Another concern was “boogers” and “cat poop.” I know some editors are skittish and that could kill this cartoon, but then I realized, if they get past the feather duster then I probably don’t have to worry about the boogers or cat poop.

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Replacing Pelosi


Republicans have campaigned against Nancy Pelosi for years. If a Republican was running against a Democrat for dog catcher in bupkisville, Iowa, he’d compare his opponent to Pelosi and claim the Dem will inflict Beagles with a gay agenda.

So it was no surprise that during the campaign in the special election for the Georgia House seat that Republicans used Pelosi against the Democrat, Jon Ossoff. It’s not that surprising that conservative Georgians don’t like a San Francisco liberal. The people in Georgia who are afraid that electing a moderate Democrat would mean that Nancy Pelosi would mandate they enter into a gay marriage probably also believe that Trump is going to make America great again.

Now a lot of liberals are demanding that Pelosi is replaced as the Democrats’ leader in Congress. They point out how they lost four straight special elections. They remind us that she’s 77-years-old and the party needs younger leadership. They don’t believe she’s a great campaigner for her party and she’s not a very good speaker.

She’s not a great campaigner but she was the Minority Leader when Democrats took the House during the W. Bush administration. Yes, Democrats lost four straight special elections….in very conservative red districts. Are you blaming the chairman, a man, of the DNC for those losses? Do you even know his name? Sure, she’s not a great speaker, but have you heard Donald Trump speak? The man is barely literate and he only knows four adjectives yet he won the presidency.

I’m all for replacing Pelosi…if you can name someone who can do the job better. You can’t. The leader of each party in Congress must round up their members for votes…or against votes. Nancy Pelosi has proven to be a very good manager. She got Obamacare through the House and that wasn’t easy. Compare her leadership skills and accomplishments to those of John Boehner or Paul Ryan. Boehner may be the worst Speaker of the House there has ever been…until Paul Ryan. They’ve had at least seven years between the two of them and you can’t name one major piece of legislation they’ve passed. Not one.

Just as the Democrats used Newt Gingrich against the Republicans in the 1990s, Republicans will use the Democrats’ leader as a boogeyman. They’ve also used President Obama and Hillary Clinton. Yes, they’re running out of targets to whip people into frenzies over, but as soon as Pelosi is replaced the Republicans will also have a replacement.

As for age, I don’t really take your concerns seriously after you supported either Bernie Sanders (75) or Hillary Clinton (69) in the last election. You’re still talking about Bernie Sanders and now you’re throwing Joe Biden (74) and Elizabeth Warren (68) into the mix. Maybe Al Franken can be that new young leadership you’re looking for to run against Trump since he’s only 66. I just seriously depressed you, didn’t I?

Republicans do get mileage running against Pelosi, but replacing her would be the greatest gift Democrats could give them. They would love to see a new Minority leader as inept as Paul Ryan.

The solution to winning elections isn’t replacing Pelosi. It’s running better campaigns with better messaging. If Republicans’ and Independents’ main reason to vote against the Democrats is Nancy Pelosi, then Democrats have gotta figure out how to appeal to stupid voters.

It would be better figuring out how to communicate with stupidity than becoming part of it.

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Herding With Pelosi


I may have been watching too much of The Simpsons marathon that’s playing nonstop for nearly two weeks. I’ve been flipping back and forth between my usual news channels and FXX and I think I’m burning out on Homer. But I do love that crazy cat lady.

Congressional Democrats apparently love her too. Nancy Pelosi has been Congressional leader of the Democratic Party since 2003 (Speaker of the House from 2007-2010).

There are arguments the party needs new blood to win back disaffected voters and working-class Americans. Ohio’s Tim Ryan opposed Pelosi arguing he could lead the party to win back Trump voters. Many have analyzed that the party is coastal and ignores Middle America and issues that affect them, like eating.

On Wednesday House Democrats cast secret ballots and selected the 76-year-old San Franciscan over the 43-year-old Ohioan. The problem for Ryan is that he hasn’t really presented a plan to lead the party and he failed to deliver his own district to Hillary Clinton. His other problem is that Pelosi is actually good at her job.

Pelosi knows how to herd cats and she’s an effective administrator, whether you like her politics or not. John Boehner had great difficulty as a manager when he served as Speaker and could have taken a lot of notes from Pelosi.

The problem the Democrats still have is that their leader, though a good manager, is an old liberal lady from San Francisco. She’s not capable of relating to moderates in the Midwest. While she led her party to take the majority in the House in 2006, she hasn’t been able to retake it since 2010.

The real issue is the party needs new talent. Not so much that they have to be young, but the Dems leadership is several years younger than the GOP’s. Their next big decision will be selecting a chairman of the party who will attempt to woo Trump voters. It’s a bit bizarre you want to win the type of people who voted for Trump when you actually won the majority and you have the right message. They need to focus on the electoral college, laws that restrict voting rights, and fighting fake news.

The Democrats are the only defense against Trump’s tyranny and plans to turn our nation into a hillbilly theocracy that worships millionaires. They also need to focus on the midterm elections in two years and eventually getting Trump out of the White House in 2020, or Mike Pence in case Trump gets impeached by February.

But don’t blame me. I voted for Kodos.

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