Nancy Pelosi

GOP Comedy Night


Cjones08042021

Greg Gutfeld is a very unfunny person who thinks he’s funny. Fox News must think he’s funny because he has a show…but then again, Laura Ingraham has a show there too and it’s impossible, even for Fox News fuckers, to find her funny. But Greg Gutfeld is at least supposed to be funny. He does a show where he’s very sardonic which he mistakes for sarcasm. Instead of being funny, Gutfeld is cruel. But why is Greg Gutfeld so unfunny? It’s because he’s a Republican.

Republicans suck at humor. In fact, they believe cruelty is hilarious. Ever watch a Trump rally on TV? Ever been to a Trump rally? It’s horrible. The truth is, liberals own humor. No, not every liberal is funny but every funny person is a liberal. It’s the trade off for not every Republican being racist, but every racist is a Republican.

Here’s the difference: Greg Gutfeld bills himself as the conservative Jon Stewart (except Jon Stewart is actually funny). No comedian, or anyone for that matter, will EVER refer to him or herself as the liberal Greg Gutfeld. Now, if someone ever says you’re the liberal Greg Gutfeld, that means they don’t think you’re funny. That would actually be funny.

Why do Republicans suck at humor? They’re not critical thinkers. Ever meet a funny lemming? I’m sure open mic nights at your local cult is chock full of amazing talent.

They tend to punch down which is never funny. Beating up on the disadvantaged is mean, not funny. Beating up on assholes in power is hilarious. It’s better to hit people who deserve it. For example: It’s not funny to make fun of your grandfather for having dentures or for wearing an adult diaper. But it’s HILARIOUS to make fun of Donald Trump for having dentures and wearing an adult diaper. Now, if you’re grandfather is an old evil fuck, then have at it.

When I was freelancing for The Costa Rica Star, I had a very unfunny pro-Trump conservative editor (conservative Canadian in Costa Rica. Why? I don’t get why people who hate brown people retire to Central America and then act like they own the place). He once asked me to draw a cartoon making fun of immigrants fleeing for their lives into Costa Rica from Honduras. He thought punching down on them would be hilarious. Naturally, I found a polite way to tell him to go fuck himself which would have been hilarious if that wasn’t a metaphor for me simply saying, “No.”

Which brings us to metaphors and analogies. Republicans suck at them. For example, some Republicans are comparing Britney Spears being in a conservatorship controlled by her father to a controlling big government. Based upon that analogy, every Republican should be controlled by the government because they’re fucking dangerous to themselves and everyone else around them.

Republicans don’t do well with hypocrisy. They think golf jokes about Obama are hilarious while golf jokes about Trump don’t exist.

But Republicans do find each other funny. Last weekend, Kevin McCarthy told a joke to a large Republican crowd about hitting Nancy Pelosi with a gavel. The entire crowd laughed. How is it funny to joke about hitting an old lady with a large heavy wooden object? The point is cruelty. Remember when Rush Limbaugh called Sandra Fluke a “slut?” His audience loved that shit. Was “feminazi” ever funny? Rush’s audience seemed to think so.

They also thought Donald Trump was hilarious. They’re right. He is hilarious, but inadvertently. Him telling cops to rough up people they were arresting and “don’t be too nice” isn’t funny. But him believing he’ll be reinstated and he still has a “cabinet” because he thinks he’s still president is extremely funny. Who’s in this cabinet? The MyPillow Guy and the person who cleans his golf balls?

Donald Trump can’t tell a joke while President Obama can.

When going down the list of recipients for the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2016, President Obama said, “Today, we celebrate extraordinary Americans who have lifted our spirits, strengthened out union, pushed us towards progress. I always love doing this event, but this is a particularly impressive class. We’ve got innovators and artists … public servants, rabble rousers, athletes, renowned character actors, like the guy from ‘Space Jam.” That “guy from Space Jam” was Michael Jordan.

Donald Trump would never have been able to muster the nuance, timing or subtleness to pull off that joke. In fact, Trump probably doesn’t get it. You’d have to explain it.

You see, Donald…there are a bunch of celebrities there and many of them are movie stars. But Michael Jordan is there for his athletic achievements though he did make one movie…and that’s where the joke comes in…oh, never mind. The dog gets it.

Contrast that to when Donald Trump was honoring Navajo veterans of the second world war in the White House. Trump told them, “You were here long before any of us were here. Although we have a representative in Congress who they say was here a long time ago. They call her Pocahontas.” For extra humor, Trump told the joke from a podium placed in front of a portrait of Andrew Jackson.“ Trump stood there like Fozzy Bear going, “Ah? Ah? Get it? Pocahontas?” Even if that joke wasn’t racist, it doesn’t work. For one thing, the teller of the shitty old-person joke is older than Elizabeth Warren.

Trump had been on a roll of making racist attacks against Elizabeth Warren and used the event with native Americans to continue his racist attacks. The scary thing is, this joke may have been written for him. If so, probably by Stephen Miller, who is at least funny looking. Also, being a Jewish Nazi isn’t as funny as it is seriously fucked up.

How bad is Donald Trump at getting humor? He was told for months that the Pocahontas shit wasn’t funny and was extremely racist. For Trump, knowing it pissed people off, that was funny. It’s not. It’s like still believing gay and racist jokes are funny.

Even Trump’s staff knew his jokes sucked because they had to explain each of them. Asking Russia to help him win an election? Joke! Him wanting to slow down coronavirus testing? That was another joke. Shooting disinfectant up your ass to fight the coronavirus? Way over the media’s head. The only thing funny with Trump and the virus was when Trump ignored all advice and caught the virus.

It’s funny when shit happens to assholes.

I can understand to a degree why Republicans are so mean and miserable. All they have for humor is Greg Gutfeld, Tim Allen, and Dennis Miller. To be fair, Dennis Miller wasn’t funny when he was a liberal either. Republicans don’t think Jon Stewart, John Oliver, Samantha Bee, Trevor Noah, or Stephen Colbert are funny. It’s like thinking Jay Leno is funny but Conan O’Brien isn’t. And have you seen conservative political cartoons? There has not been a funny conservative political cartoonist since Jeff MacNelly died. Today, there is not one funny conservative political cartoonist in the nation. Though I have to admit, I think a good portion of the liberal cartoonists are boring too. You can’t be funny when you’re all telling the same joke.

Some of my colleagues often say political cartoons don’t have to be funny. That is true, but the only political cartoonists who harp on about that are the ones who are never funny.

The entire point of Republican humor is the cruelty. If you think conservatives are funny, then you’re probably an asshole.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

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Treason For Tucker


Cjones07102021

When Congress investigated the September 11, 2001 attack on our nation, the investigative committee did not include any members of al Qaida. When Congress has investigated the mafia, I don’t believe any of those committees included mobsters. When the GOP held investigation after investigation into the Benghazi attack that killed four Americans, I don’t believe their committees included Islamic terrorists. But, Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi offered Republicans an opportunity to include supporters of terrorists on a committee to investigate a terrorist attack.

Make no mistake about it, the attack on January 6, 2021 was a terrorist attack. Not only are Republicans afraid to admit it was terrorists, they don’t want to admit it was an insurrection. A few of them even claim the terrorists were merely tourists. The reason being is that the terrorists were their terrorists.

The GOP made demands that had to be met before they would vote for an independent commission. They demanded equal representation on the committee and subpoena power. They could have used this to deflect from the real purpose of the investigation and shift the focus to Antifa, Black Lives Matter, why Tim Allen’s show can’t win Emmys, who put the bomp in the bomp-bah-bomp-bah-bomp, or if the NSA is investigating Tucker Carlson.

The Democrats gave Republicans everything they demanded and except for 35 members, they still voted against a commission. It ultimately failed in the Senate because of two Democratic jackasses. After voting against a commission that would have given them equal power, the Republicans complained it was partisan. Fine, let’s make it partisan.

If your partisanship is supporting terrorism, then we don’t need you. Now, the House has voted, mostly along party lines, to create a select committee to investigate the terrorist attack. This time, only two Republicans voted to investigate a terrorist attack.

There will be a 13-member panel with eight members appointed by Democrats and five appointed by Republicans. Pelosi has already given one of the Democratic seats to a Republican, Liz Cheney. Kevin McCarthy, the Republican leader, has threatened his members with punishment if they serve on the committee. He’s threatening to remove their committee assignments.

McCarthy may want to appoint a few fucknuts like Jim Jordan, Elise Stefanik, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, and Matt Gaetz to fill the committee with howler monkeys, but Pelosi can veto any of McCarthy’s choices. She should have this power because Republicans can’t be taken seriously and would use their appointments to defend terrorists. Pelosi should veto any members McCarthy chooses who voted against certifying the election. Let’s not allow terrorists to serve on the committee. The terrorist attack was motivated by the Big Lie. You can’t put members on a committee investigating the attack who continue to push the Big Lie.

Republicans are afraid of investigating the January 6 attack the same way cats are afraid of cucumbers. We don’t know why cats are afraid of cucumbers. It’s not like the cucumbers conducted a terrorist attack against the dog after coordinating with the cat, and the cat is afraid it’ll be implicated if you ask the cucumber any questions. But we do know that’s exactly why the Republicans are afraid of cucumbers, I mean, questions, committees, investigations, facts, etc. And for all we know, Donald Trump is afraid of cucumbers. They are a vegetable.

And just like cats leaping from a cucumber, Kevin McCarthy may hurt himself trying to get away from this investigation. At the very least, he’ll probably shit himself.

The people who attacked the Capitol did so to block the certification of an election and the peaceful transfer of power. They did so to destroy our democracy and install a dictator. They were supported by and received support from Republicans. There are questions as to how much support. Donald Trump tweeted for them to be at the Capitol that day. Donald Trump held a pep rally before the attack. A lot of Republicans voted against certifying the election, delaying it for the terrorists to stop the certification. Some Republicans may have been in contact with terrorists while they were in the Capitol. One Representative was tweeting locations of Democratic members. The terrorists were Trump supporters. There was a large white nationalist element to it.

Liz Cheney said her service on the committee is a matter of honoring her “oath to defend the Constitution.” McCarthy can honor his oath and select members who will also “defend the Constitution,” but that will also shine the light on the party’s culpability with the terrorists. McCarthy and Republicans are more loyal to Trump and his cult than they are to the Constitution.

The terrorists engaged in an attack to stop an act mandated by the Constitution. If McCarthy refuses to appoint anyone, he shows he doesn’t care…which he doesn’t.

McCarthy is also a witness. He was on the phone with Trump during the attack, asking him to call off his terrorists…which Trump refused to do right away.

Republicans spent years and millions of dollars investigating the terrorist attack on Benghazi. Quick! Tell me what they learned from their investigations. Now, another terrorist attack needs an investigation but they don’t want to talk about it because they’re implicated. They would probably rather investigate Tucker Carlson’s claims the National Security Agency is spying on him. Several Republicans, howler monkeys, have backed him up on this bullshit.

Tucker claimed, without any evidence, the NSA has hacked into his emails and plans to release them. This is ironic since he was a big fan of Russia hacking into the Democratic Party’s emails during the 2016 campaign. Maybe someone else has hacked into his emails and plans to release them and Tucker is just preparing us for the amount of gay porn they’ll contain. Quick! What did the release of the Democratic Party’s emails contain? Something about pizza?

In fact, you’re not going to believe this shit…Kevin McCarthy said, “There is a public report that NSA read the emails of Fox News host Tucker Carlson.” Uh, that “public report” is Tucker’s claim. Fox News’ lawyers claimed in court that nobody can believe Tucker. Someone needs to tell McCarthy he can’t believe anything Tucker claims. McCarthy also said, “I have serious questions regarding this matter that must be answered…the NSA cannot be used as a political instrument.” McCarthy has called on Devin Nunes, another howler monkey, to look into this.

Matt Gaetz, a howler monkey who does NOT want anyone to look at his emails, called for an…wait for it…an investigation. Jim Jordan, another howler, is also promoting the lie…along with all his other lies.

How can anyone justify not voting to investigate a terrorist attack on our nation while calling to investigate bullshit by Tucker Carlson? If we’re going to investigate fictional shit on TV, let’s find out why Jerry hated Newman so much.

Do you know how this Tucker claim will end up? It’ll land like all the other Tucker claims.

What happened to Tucker’s claims he had documents that would incriminate the Bidens in all sort of illegal shenanigans? What happened to Tucker’s claims he had emails proving Dr. Anthony Fauci was involved in a criminal coverup of the origins of Covid-19? Tucker was OK with spying on those emails. What happened to Tucker’s claims the FBI was behind the insurrection? Do you remember anything coming from those? You don’t because nothing did.

If there is an investigation, I’m sure it’d be dropped just as soon as Republicans discovered Tucker was partly responsible for the white nationalist terrorist attack, he’s full of crap, his emails are full of gay porn, and he’s afraid of cucumbers.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

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Facemask Losers


CNN09062020

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi violated California state law when she went to a hair salon and at least for a minute, didn’t wear a face mask.

A video was released of her walking from one room to the other without the mask. Pelosi claims it was a setup as she called the salon, where she’s been a customer for years, and an employee told her to come in.

Pelosi is responsible for this. She should have known the state law and she should have worn a face mask for the entire visit. But that said, yeah, it was a setup. How do I know it was a setup? Because we’ve seen the video.

In fact, White House spokesgoon Kayleigh McEnany began a press briefing about the video and ran it on a loop for several minutes. The thing about this is, it shouldn’t be the White House promoting and advancing this video. It’s bad politics. What they should do is just let their conservative allies do it. Yeah, it’s still hypocritical and stupid, but at least they could have the semblance of keeping their hands clean and government employees like Kayleigh McEnany wouldn’t have to conduct herself like a goon.

But which is it? Are we supposed to be upset at someone for not wearing a mask for a minute or are we supposed to mock people who wear masks?

Look at the Republican convention. There were two nights where the Trump team created crowds, one at Fort McHenry in Baltimore and the other on the South Lawn. Not only did these two acts violate the Hatch Act and abuse public property for partisan political events, they didn’t practice social distancing. Face masks were not required. You have to remember the last time Trump put together a huge party for a political event, it killed Herman Cain, who, by the way, they failed to mention once during their four-nights of lies and bullshit.

Last week, Donald Trump mocked Joe Biden for wearing a mask. Trump said, “Did you ever see a man who likes a mask as much as him?. It gives him a feeling of security.”

Then, the guy who should be in a padded room while wearing a jacket that ties in the back said, “If I were a psychiatrist — right? I’d say, this guy’s got some big issues. Hanging down.” Hanging down? What the hell is that? Anyway…

So far in this pandemic, due to a virus Donald Trump has ignored at times and downplayed at others, has killed nearly 185,000 Americans. So, why the hell is he mocking someone for wearing a face mask which is recommended by the Center for Disease Control and the White House Coronavirus Task Force?

What’s next? Making fun of people who have died from it? Calling them weak or better yet for Trump, losers?

Donald Trump is the president (sic) of the United States. Every time someone says “President Trump,” my skin crawls because it’s the most disgusting thing there is…but he is the president (sic). Yet, he can’t be presidential. He can’t exhibit leadership. Joe Biden can. Joe Biden is being presidential.

Joe Biden is demonstrating by example, showing leadership, and taking the virus seriously. Donald Trump finds that something to mock.

Donald Trump refuses to be president for the entire nation. He refuses to be a leader in the same way he refuses to be an adult, mature, responsible, accountable, or credible.

Wearing face masks saves lives. Experts predict fewer deaths and a quicker end to this pandemic if we all wore face masks. Donald Trump is politicizing it and making fun of people for wearing face masks.

Wearing a face mask is the patriotic thing to do. But then again, we all know how Donald Trump feels about patriotism.

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Ripping Trump A New One


cjones02102020

Last night, Donald Trump delivered the most partisan, hateful, and divisive State of the Union since the one he delivered last year.

If you didn’t watch the speech, you probably haven’t heard anyone cite anything specific he said. If you did watch the speech, you probably haven’t talked about anything he said. Instead, you’ve talked about the dis.

Before the speech, Trump pretended not to see Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi stick out her hand, and he dissed her by refusing to shake it. She dissed him in her introduction but excluding the traditional “the high privilege and distinct honor” of introducing the president. After the speech, she ripped in half her advance copy of Trump’s speech.

Liberals are applauding while conservatives are upset, which is a bit surreal. How can you cry about disrespect when you support Donald Trump, a man who’s feuded with veterans, Gold Star families, women, and children. You’re really upset Nancy Pelosi disrespected the State of the Union after Donald Trump turned it into a game show? Personally, I think Pelosi gave that speech all the respect it deserved.

It was full of lies. Donald Trump tried to claim all the credit for an economy that’s been on the upswing for 11 years. He claimed he rescued the nation from an economic disaster. He lied about the number of factories he’s brought to this nation. He claimed he’s built 100 miles of his racist wall on our border with Mexico when he hasn’t built 100 feet (and no mention of Mexico paying for it). He lied about the number of jobs the new trade deal with Mexico and Canada will replace. He claimed the U.S. became the world’s number one producer of natural gas and oil during his administration, which actually occurred in 2009.

But his biggest lie was the claim of protecting preexisting conditions. At this very moment, his administration is in court trying to take that away.

In addition to the lies, Trump made it hateful. Extremely hateful. He demonized sanctuary cities and immigrants. But then, he made a game show moment of having Melania place the Presidential Medal of Freedom around the neck of Rush Limbaugh.

Trump played to his base and threw out red meat for his 2020 reelection campaign. The GOP actually chanted “four more years” at one point. And yet, Nancy was disrespectful.

Pelosi later tweeted, “The manifesto of mistruths presented in page after page of the address tonight should be a call to action for everyone who expects truth from the President and policies worthy of his office and the American people.”

When asked why she ripped the speech immediately after Trump stopped talking and in clear view of the cameras, she said, “It was the courteous thing to do considering the alternative.”

With all the alternative things in my imagination she could have done to that speech, she did the courteous thing.

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Blame It On Nancy


cjones01172020

Yesterday, A Canadian CEO blamed Donald Trump for the lives lost by Iran shooting down the Ukrainian airliner.

Iran was responding to the United States killing its top general while he was on his way to the airport in Baghdad. The general was killed after Donald Trump ordered his assassination. The CEO, Michael McCain, chief executive of Canadian food packaging company Maple Leaf Foods, says one of his colleagues lost his wife and 11-year-old son when the airliner was shot down.

Iran has taken responsibility for shooting down the plane a few hours after shooting rockets at bases in Iraq where American troops where stationed. Iran’s attack was a response to Trump’s ordered hit.

McCain, who’s probably going to incur Republican wrath for his last name alone, lashed out on Trump through Twitter, and not just his private account, but his company’s. He said the 57 Canadians killed in this strike were “collateral damage” of a “narcissist in Washington.”

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said, “I think if there were no tensions, if there was no escalation recently in the region, those Canadians would be right now home with their families.”

Presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg said that innocent civilians died because they were caught in Trump’s “unwanted military tit for tat.”

I think they’re all correct unless Donald Trump proves them wrong and shows us the “imminent attack” the general was planning on “four embassies.” Now, Trump says that imminent attack doesn’t matter. It does. If Trump can’t prove Iran was planning an imminent attack against the United States, then he’s responsible for the deaths of 176 people (not counting all the children dying at the border, people killed by Nazis, or right-wing mass shooters).

What was Donald Trump’s reason for ordering an assassination on Iran’s highest-ranking general? It was impeachment. Donald Trump has shown his poker face and referenced impeachment while talking about assassinating the general.

While Iran is to blame for the plane being shot down, so is Donald Trump. He escalated this even before the assassination.

Wouldn’t it be great if there was a deal in place that kept Iran from acquiring a nuclear weapon and part of that deal was that United Nations inspectors had access to their nuclear facilities? What if that deal mothballed 80% of their nuclear enrichment program? What if those aspects of the deal lasted decades and Iran was abiding by it? We had that. What sort of dumbass would ditch that? Donald Trump ditched it and increased sanctions on Iran. Now, Iran is abandoning all promises of the deal and is revving up its nuclear program again. Donald Trump says the world is a safer place. Seriously.

I’m actually surprised that Trump hasn’t felt cornered enough to blame Nancy Pelosi for the crisis in Iran. After all, he wouldn’t have ordered that hit if impeachment hadn’t passed.

Trump can’t blame Nancy, but his response to impeachment is the reason for this current crisis with Iran and why 176 people in a Ukrainian airliner are now dead. There was no “imminent attack.” There was only impeachment.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Trump, Slow Your Roll


cjones12202019

When I heard Donald Trump sent Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi a letter ranting about the “injustice” of his impeachment, I thought, “that’s just going to be some typical, rambling, Trump stupidity.” After I read it, I thought, “Holy fucking shitballs.”

Donald Trump is not well. I know. We always say that. But what’s really scary here is that he’s not well and the people in his administration who helped him put this airing of grievances on White House stationary are totally enabling this insanity. It’s six-pages of Trump tweets with some lawyerly clean up. You know he had help because it contains the word “egregious.”

Have you ever been drunk and angry, wanted to go tell someone off, and then for some reason you didn’t, and then the next day you think, “Thank god I didn’t do that! Whew!” Yeah, Trump probably wasn’t drunk, but he went through with it here.

Or, it’s like when you write an angry letter and you don’t send it, but it really helps to heal your soul because you got it out of your system. Yeah, well Trump sent his angry, pissy letter. And, he sent it to the Speaker of the House of Representatives on White House stationary.

Don’t take my word for it. You should check it out for yourself. Feel free to read it while sitting on a toilet because that’s probably where it was written. I think the best way to read this is annotated summary in The Washington Post by Aaron Blake. He does a great job of breaking down, pinpointing the lies, adding context, some explaining, and what’s just bat-shit crazy. See if you can pinpoint where he probably paused to flush 15 times.

Yes, he really does veer from impeachment to the Salem Witch Trials to the border wall to recognizing Jerusalem as Israel’s capital to Space Force. Really. This is the president of the United States, people.

If nothing else, this letter is further evidence the man should be convicted in the Senate and removed from office, or at the very least, by the 25th Amendment.

Happy impeachment day.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Don’t Mess With Nancy


CNN12082019

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

Reporter James Rosen played off a Republican talking point last week when he asked House Speaker Nancy Pelosi if she “hates Donald Trump.”

Rosen is a reporter for Sinclair Broadcasting. Sinclair is a right-wing organization that owns television stations across the country. They mandate conservative op-eds and other right-wing BS to be aired on those stations. Most people who watch local news that’s owned by Sinclair, don’t know it’s owned by Sinclair or that right-wing jargon is being mandated from corporate headquarters. It’s no surprise Rosen landed there after leaving Fox News after being accused of sexual harassment and texting “inappropriate” photos to colleagues.

Pelosi had finished her press conference but turned back to address the question. She was upset. She said as a Catholic, she doesn’t hate anyone. She also said she prays for Donald Trump. I’m sure a lot of people pray for Donald Trump who aren’t really fond of the guy.

Here’s a question: Do Republicans hate Barack Obama? Republicans keep saying Democrats have been trying to impeach Trump since he “won” the election, but how many Republicans talked about impeaching President Obama? Let’s see…those who floated the idea are Representative Darrell Issa, Senator Ted Cruz, Rep. Michael Burgess, Sen. Jon Kyl, Sen. James Inhofe, Rep. Jason Chaffetz, Sen. Tom Coburn, Rep. Blake Farenthold, Rep. Kerry Bentivolio, Rep. Louie Gohmert, Rep. Allen West, and measures were passed demanding it from the Oklahoma legislature and the South Dakota Republican Party. Talk show hosts, Larry Elder and Rush Limbaugh, along with Sarah Palin, also called for impeaching Obama. The reasons vary from Benghazi, to birtherism, to the debt ceiling, to none at all.

In 2014, a YouGov poll found that 68% of Republicans were in favor of impeaching Obama while a CNN poll found the number of Republicans in favor at 57%.

So, Republicans why did you hate President Obama?

A lot of conservatives have gone off questioning Pelosi’s commitment to Catholicism. Many point out that she’s pro-choice, so that must mean she’s a bad Catholic. Of course, those same critics are in favor of the death penalty, but hypocrisy isn’t really an issue they concern themselves with.

I did a podcast last weekend where I was asked if I hated Trump. I gave the same answer I’ve given before. I don’t hate Donald Trump. I only hate President Donald Trump. If you love America, democracy, truth, the Constitution and oppose nepotism, racism, narcissism, and authoritarianism, and other assorted stupid shit, you hate President Trump too.

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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A Peachy Deal


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Under federal law, whistleblower complaints in the intelligence community are to be delivered to the inspector general. The inspector general has 14 days to determine if the allegations amount to an “urgent concern,” meaning they relate to abuse, violation of federal law or executive order in regards to national intelligence involving classified information (in case you’re a Republican, you didn’t understand any of that). If the complaint meets the criteria, the inspector general is supposed to forward it to the director of national intelligence. The law says the director of national intelligence has seven days (in case you’re a Republican, seven days is a week) to forward the material to the House and Senate intelligence oversight committees. The law does not say the director can refuse or just decide it’s not warranted.

In this case of the whistleblower complaint against Trump, the inspector general, Michael Atkinson, told Congress it was credible and qualified as an “urgent concern.” The director of national intelligence, Joseph Maguire, decided it wasn’t credible, qualified, or urgent. He tried to trash it. The Justice Department, headed by William Barr, who’s spending $30,000 on a party at a Trump Hotel, said Maguire can lawfully keep it a secret. That’s not what the law says. The law says he’s to deliver that shit to Congress. His sycophantic ass should go to jail too.

By law, this complaint was to be delivered to Congress. Instead, it was delivered to the Justice Department and from other sources, the White House. The law was designed to protect whistleblowers and classified information. In this case, the whistleblower was not protected because his complaint was delivered to the person he was complaining about. Donald Trump said he doesn’t know the identity of the whistleblower and then attacked him as partisan.

If Trump doesn’t know the identity of the whistleblower then how does he know he’s partisan? Has he been hanging out with Miss Cleo? If so, does she see Trump wearing orange jumpsuits? Never mind. From Googling to make sure I had her name right, I just found out she died in 2016. I’m guessing she saw the future and had a heart attack.

Now, the whistleblower report is going to Congress. Yesterday, Trump called House Speaker Nancy Pelosi wanting to cut a deal. According to reports, Trump said, “Hey, can we do something about this whistleblower complaint? Can we work something out?” Reportedly, Pelosi said, “Yes. You can tell your people to obey the law.”

Trump and his entire administration are arrogant. They refuse to obey the law, then seek out deals to comply a little bit. Nancy’s right. Obey the law. She has no reason to cut a deal with the “best deal-maker ever.” What sort of deal was he trying to make? Congress can talk to the whistleblower after Trump’s goons have 15 minutes with him first?

Just like in the month-long government shutdown Trump initiated where he left with nothing, and actually lost funding for his precious wall, Nancy Pelosi owns him. Trump believes he has a friend in Pelosi in regards to impeachment because she’s spent her entire time as Speaker trying to shut up and shut down her caucus on the topic. Now, Pelosi is on board.

Donald Trump is going to be impeached. Do you know how I know this? Because Nancy Pelosi is finally on board. Do you know why she’s on board? Because Donald Trump needs to be impeached.

Trump should be impeached, even if the Senate refuses to do its job and convict a corrupt president. For Andrew Johnson, the only thing he won’t have in common with Bill Clinton and Donald Trump is that he never went to a teen-slumber party with Jeffrey Epstein…I think.

Firstly, forget the Biden distraction. If what Joe Biden did in pressuring Ukraine to fire a prosecutor was corrupt, then how is asking a foreign president for dirt on your opponent not? If you want to take Joe Biden with you as we kick Trump out of office, fine. Take him. Donald Trump is guilty. Whatever Joe Biden may or may not have done doesn’t change or justify what Trump did. Hell, you guys can impeach Biden after we elect him. I don’t care.

Even if Trump didn’t involve the nearly $400 million allocated in foreign aid to Ukraine, and only brought up investigating Joe Biden, it’s still illegal. It’s still corrupt. It’s still asking a foreign nation to investigate your political opponent. Trump said he’d welcome information provided by a foreign government. In this case, he’s banging on their door. Donald Trump has admitted he asked Ukraine about investigating Joe Biden. He admitted he broke the law.

But since the $400 million is a factor, let’s talk about it. Trump withheld the money, allocated by Congress, a week before his phone call with Ukraine president Volodymyr Zelensky. He asked his chief of staff, Mick Mulvaney, to withhold it (have fun testifying, Mickey). Then, he told his staff (who should all get ready to testify as well or get fitted for orange jumpsuits) to lie about why it was being withheld. They were to tell lawmakers the delays were a part of an “interagency process” and not to give them any additional information.

Trump claimed he withheld the money because of corruption in Ukraine. Then, he said it’s because Europe and other nations aren’t contributing to Ukraine. As it turns out, that’s another Trump lie. The European Union has given Ukraine over $16.5 billion. Other EU institutions have provided more than $452 million. Germany has given over $189 million, Japan’s given over $180 million, Canada’s given over $44 million, Poland has given over $42 million, Sweden’s given over $34 million, Britain’s given over $31 million, and Switzerland has given over $29 million. Once again, Trump is full of shit. And, for Trump, he thinks corruption is the opposite of corruption.

Today, Donald Trump will release transcripts of his phone call with President Zelensky to prove he didn’t do anything wrong. This is the man who doctored a weather map with a Sharpie (Trump, not Zelensky). I’m sure they believe this transcript it totally defensible in the context it’s the only thing in the whistleblower complaint (or, it’s defensible after you take a Sharpie to it). It’s not.

We don’t even know the extent of the complaint but we do know that Rudy Giuliani, as Trump’s personal lawyer, went to Ukraine (after a short stop in Transylvania to visit family) to press them to investigate Joe Biden. Rudy claims he did this at the request of the State Department. Democratic Senator Chris Murphy of Connecticut said he asked the State Department if they had asked Ukraine to investigate Biden, and they replied with a negative. But, if Giuliani isn’t lying (HAHAHAHAHAHA), then the State Department is engaging in corruption for Donald Trump. Which is it? That could be part of the complaint. If true, we’re gonna have a national shortage of orange jumpsuits. We’ll have to lift those tariffs on China because we don’t make those here.

Trump’s head is on Nancy’s wall and now he wants to make a deal. The problem for Donald Trump and his sycophants is, they can’t change what he did. Donald Trump violated his oath of office and committed high crimes and misdemeanors. That qualifies for impeachment.

The only deal Donald Trump should be able to make at this point is the same one Richard Nixon made. The only way for Trump not to be impeached is for him to resign and not be president. That’ll show those Democrats. Ha! Ha! Take that, losers. But then they could impeach Mike Pence and go after Secretary of State Mike Pompeo because they’re up to their nuts in this shit too.

We shouldn’t impeach Trump because we don’t like him. We shouldn’t impeach him because he’s vulgar, unpresidential, or that we don’t like his policies. We shouldn’t impeach him because we want to. We should impeach Donald Trump because we have to.

It’s an urgent concern.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Nancy Gets Nasty


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Here’s your weekly cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was in Normandy to commemorate the 75th anniversary of D-Day. She was asked about comments Donald Trump made about her during the trip, and she replied, “I don’t talk about the president while I’m out of the country. That’s my principle.” As we all know, Donald Trump doesn’t have any principles.

Trump delayed the ceremony by giving an interview to Fox News’ wingnut Laura Ingraham. He even boasted about how he was making world leaders and veterans wait on him. The President of the United States has to keep telling people, and himself how important he is.

Donald Trump is not restrained by presidential decorum while on foreign trips…or any time really. Last week in Japan, he went after Joe Biden by agreeing with a murderous dictator’s comments on the former vice-president. While in Normandy to commemorate the accomplishments and sacrifices of those who fought for their country, Trump attacked Vietnam veteran, Purple Heart and Bronze Star recipient Robert Mueller by calling him a “fool.” Trump also said he didn’t fight in Vietnam because he disagreed with that war, which is exactly what you want a commander in chief to say to the men serve in our armed forces.

He also used his trip to Normandy to finally give Nancy Pelosi, the women who bests him at every turn, a nickname. He has dubbed her “Nervous Nancy.” He also said, “she’s a nasty, vindictive, horrible person.” Keep in mind, THIS guy was calling her “nasty” to Laura Ingraham. Let’s not totally overlook the fact that a Nazi defender was saying this to a Nazi supporter at a D-Day ceremony.

Trump has a thing about calling women “nasty.” During one debate with Hillary Clinton, he said she was a “nasty woman.” Before his trip to the United Kingdom this week, he called the Duchess of Sussex “nasty” because she accused him of being a misogynist (Republicans don’t get irony). He claimed he never called her “nasty” despite there being audio of it. Then, he called Pelosi “nasty” after a report came out from Politico that she told Democratic colleagues she wasn’t for impeachment, but for sending Trump to prison.

The guy who leads chants of “Lock her up” finds it “nasty” when someone says he should go to prison…you know, where many members of his inner circle are residing or headed. In addition to irony, Republicans don’t understand hypocrisy.

Trump said that if he had “made any statement about anybody” while overseas he would be criticized. That’s like predicting if you act like a dumbass then people will call you a “dumbass.” Maybe, don’t make negative statements and refrain from politics while on a foreign trip, especially one to commemorate those who fought and died for your nation.

Also, maybe don’t act like a dumbass. It’s nasty.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch Me Draw.

Vouching For The Stable Genius


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Here’s your weekly cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

I am very happy CNN chose this cartoon out of the ten or so ideas I had sent them. In fact, it may be the last idea I sent their way. I think the story progressed throughout the day on Friday, making the cartoon even more relevant.

I spent Thursday sitting in a hotel in Raleigh sending ideas to CNN. I had an event that night, which I was two hours late for. But, that’s OK because I like being fashionably late. After it was approved, I went to join several of my cartoonist colleagues in paying our respects to a departed cartoonist. The next morning, I drew this on the train but you probably already read that horror story in the previous blog.

I like bringing back “stable genius.” If you have to tell people you’re smart, you’re probably not. If you ask people to tell others how smart you are, people who work for you, you’re not smart. Donald Trump is neither smart, stable or a genius.

Today, Donald Trump tweeted that Kim Jong Un called Joe Biden a “low IQ individual, & worse.” We don’t have actual proof of that, but what do have is proof that Kim Jong Un called Trump a “dotard.” Trump’s IQ is so high, that he had to look up the definition of “dotard.” Spoiler alert, it doesn’t mean “stable genius.”

A genius doesn’t negotiate himself into a deal where he receives nothing, which is what Trump did with Nancy Pelosi. Pelosi has Trump’s number and she proved it during the government shutdown Trump created. Now, he’s having tantrums and saying he won’t work with Congress on anything as long as there are investigations into his corruption. What he’s saying is, he won’t work with a Congress that invokes oversight.

Trump is upset that Pelosi accused him of a coverup, something his own Justice Department has accused him of. Trump says he doesn’t do coverups, yet he’s lied about paying off pornstars and Playmates, lied and hid his negotiations to erect a Trump Tower in Moscow, lied and hid his attempt to bribe Vladimir Putin, lied about Trump University and his fake charity which he stole from, and is preventing people from testifying to Congress about a report that he claims exonerates him. On top of all this, he won’t release his taxes. But other than all that, he doesn’t do coverups.

The best Trump can do to convince people he’s stable or smart is to have other people say it, even if those people are those he pays to say it.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch Me Draw.