Who’s A Bad Boy?

Commander Biden, the president’s two-year-old German Shepherd, has bitten another Secret Service agent. This is at least the 10th time one of the president’s pets has bitten someone. Maybe the president should get a goldfish.

Conservatives are blaming the dog, specifically because it’s President Biden’s dog. Partisanship doesn’t stop at the dog house. My ex-wife has a German Shepherd, Gretchen, and despite knowing I’m her ex-husband, hasn’t bitten me. She’s actually a very sweet girl who’s only flaw I can see is the shedding, the dog, not my ex-wife.

Liberals and animal activists are defending the dog and White House staffers, those who haven’t been bitten yet, have said that the episodes are the result of the stress the dogs feel from being at the White House. Honestly, if there’s so much stress in the White House, then maybe it’s not the right environment for these dogs. There’s a long history of mouth-breathing animals that didn’t belong in the White House, including Michael Flynn, John Bolton, Donald Trump, Stephen Miller, Steve Bannon, and Javanka just to name a few. President Obama’s Norwegian Himalayan Water Poodle, or whatever the hell that thing was, never bit anyone. It also makes sense that Donald Trump never owed a dog because I don’t know if there is a dog that wouldn’t want to bite him. Even Gretchen might give him a snark.

But then again, we learned from January 6 testimony that a LOT of Secret Service agents are Trumpers which is extremely disturbing. If the president of the United States is being protected by people who would help the last president (sic) steal an election and stage a coup, then maybe it’s Commander Biden who’s actually the one who’s protecting hid daddy, President Biden.

When you add up ten bites, that’s more evidence to impeach the dog than House Republicans have to impeach President Biden. The House held an impeachment hearing yesterday that lasted six hours, in case you were wondering why they can’t legislate and prevent a government shutdown.

House Committee on Oversight and Accountability Chairman James Comer said the panel, which includes Jewish Space Lasers conspiracy theorist Marjorie Taylor Greene, had “uncovered a mountain of evidence” without providing any. Even the three witnesses the goons called couldn’t provide any evidence and even said there is no basis for impeachment.

Forensic accountant Bruce Dubinsky, one of the witnesses brought by by the goons, said, “I am not here today to even suggest that there was corruption, fraud or wrongdoing. More information needs to be gathered before I can make such an assessment.”

Law professor Jonathan Turley, also a Republican witness, said, “I have previously stated that, while I believe that an impeachment inquiry is warranted, I do not believe that the evidence currently meets the standard of a high crime and misdemeanor needed for an article of impeachment. The purpose of my testimony today is to discuss how past inquiries pursued evidence of potentially impeachable conduct.” That guy couldn’t even explain how it’s “warranted.”

There’s actually more evidence that this committee can’t be taken seriously, and other than Comer himself and MTG, the evidence are its other members, such as Jim Jordan, Andy Biggs, Paul Gosar, Byron Donalds, Clay Higgins, Scott Perry, and Lauren Boebert. Did Speaker Kevin McCarthy miss any goons when he was appointing members to this committee?

Democratic Representative Jamie Raskin, in attempt to find more answers, issued a motion to subpoena Rudy Giuliani and Lev Parnas, who was one of the people hired and failed to find dirt on Biden in Ukraine, but Comer struck the motion down.

James Comer has promised to impeach President Joe Biden. He just needs to find a reason. That’s weird. It seems you would have to see evidence before you would promise to impeach someone. This is pure partisanship and for this to be their main focus in the hours leading up to a government shutdown, it’s a waste of time and money. Let the Department of Justice do its job in investigating Hunter Biden and other members of the family, but this impeachment nonsense is just that, nonsense.

Quite frankly, if James Comer and other Republicans can’t find the time to actually legislate, then I suggest they spend some quality time with Commander.

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