Tossers For Putin


I want it on the record that I don’t like heights. I don’t know when it happened because I used to climb trees when I was a kid, but I discovered at 16 that I have an uncontrollable fear of heights. I’m OK inside tall buildings and looking out a window or in an airplane, so I think it depends on how stable the foundation is that I’m standing on.

When I was 16, a neighbor asked me to hang a bug zapper from off the top of an apartment building. He had set the ladder up and the zapper was to hang off the end of a two-story building. So whoever climbed the ladder had to reach out a couple of feet away from the ladder and hang this stupid zapper. The neighbor asked me to do it because I was a skinny kid and he was a hefty fellow. OK, he was fat. In fact, he was obese (an obese pedophile we found out later, but I digress).

So wanting to prove how kick-ass I was, I accepted this challenge and dutifully climbed up the ladder with bug zapper in hand. When I got to the top and started to reach out to hang the zapper, my legs started trembling. I couldn’t stop the trembling and I quickly climbed down. After being called a “pussy” by everyone witnessing this, the great big fat obese pedophile climbed up and did it himself.

So now, anytime I’m in any situation like that, my legs start trembling. I once stood on a step stool and they started trembling. So there are two things I don’t like, heights and pedophiles and I don’t want anything to do with either. So if I trip out a window after drawing this cartoon, just know that I wouldn’t have been dancing around a window in a tall building like that. I’m clumsy but not that clumsy.

Another thing I don’t like are Putin’s puppets, especially Americans who support Putin, his illegal war, and acts of terrorism, and help push his lies and propaganda. Donald Trump defended Putin when it was pointed out that he had journalists murdered.

Pavel Antov, the Russian sausage king (I hope that title is because he made sausage) and a legislator leaped out of a third-story window in an Indian hotel while on vacation. He was critical of Putin’s war in Ukraine.

A few days before this leap, Antov’s friend, Vladimir Budanov was found dead at the same hotel. Budanov’s death is blamed on a heart attack after consuming lots of alcohol on an empty stomach.

Last summer, Antov condemned Putin’s airstrikes on Ukraine’s cities, hospitals, apartments, daycares, senior living centers, supermarkets, churches, playgrounds, schools, etc., saying, “It’s extremely hard to call this anything other than terror.” Later, he said there was a misunderstanding and he didn’t say “terror.” He said these airstrikes are “terrific boy howdy”. Maybe he didn’t say that, but he did say there was a misunderstanding although it’s hard to mistake a lot of things for terrorism. Come to think of it, American Putin-loving Republicans confuse terrorism with tourism.

Russian oligarchs are very clumsy. Last December, Dmitry Zelenov, a real-estate baron, was visiting friends on the coast of France when he got sick during dinner and then fell down some stairs. Maybe he was startled by the snails on his plate. That would freak me out.

Last month, Viktor Cherkesov, a Putin ally died suddenly from an illness after publicly discussing infighting in Putin’s inner circle. The illness hit him suddenly, like a 2×4-to-the-head suddenly.

Last Saturday, Russian shipyard executive Alexander Buzakov dropped dead without any explanation, but friends say he was very clumsy.

Last September, Ravil Maganov, the chairman of a Russian oil company who opposed Putin’s war, tripped, from guess where…a tall building.

Also, last September, Anatoly Gerashchenko of the Moscow Aviation Institute died after tripping and falling from…I’ll give you a minute to figure it out…a tall building.

Quite frankly, I’m surprised Putin didn’t go for Donald Trump’s proposal to build a Trump Tower in Moscow. It would have been another tall building to throw critics off of. “Igor trip out window while trying to grab girl by pussy. Very sad. Tic-Tac?”

At least 12 other Russian elites have died since around the start of Russia’s illegal invasion of Ukraine. Among them are Gazprom director Leonid Shulman, who died from suicide, and Alexander Tyulakov, another Gazprom executive who was found dead in his garage.

Let me also make it clear that I do not have a garage.

Now, add all these dead oligarchs to other critics of Putin who have been poisoned and the total is a lot of dead Russians. And the ones who didn’t cooperate by dying conveniently were then tossed into gulags.

These oligarchs who challenged Putin in Russia while knowing they were putting their lives at risk expose the cowardice of Americans, like Donald Trump, Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity, Lauren Boebert, Ted Rall, and others who push Putin’s lies and propaganda.

I think Russia needs to start baby-gating windows so their oligarchs will stop tripping out of them.

Music note: I listened to some of the new Eddie Vedder album.

Facebook Suspension Update: There are 11 days left, so it says, in my Facebook suspension for typing the word “Taliban.” Quannah had a countdown clock for it, but it broke.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

4 comments

  1. Was Ted Rall always a Kremlin apologist?

    I thought I had recalled some legitimate work of his in the previous century, criticizing civilian deaths in Afghanistan, for instance.

    Did he secede from polite society?

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  2. Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    The Russian/Putin way … “These oligarchs who challenged Putin in Russia while knowing they were putting their lives at risk expose the cowardice of Americans, like Donald Trump, Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity, Lauren Boebert, Ted Rall, and others who push Putin’s lies and propaganda.”

    Like

  3. Just as I got over avoiding windows in high buildings! I have an aversion to tall buildings even though I lived in one for 22 years. It took me two weeks to look out the window but at least I got over that fear as soon as I was certain there was no way to fall out. Flying though, not for me. I prefer Grayhound every time.
    Good post, Doc. Politics are getting hazardous to the health of a lot of the politicians in every country. I think I’m glad I’m old and don’t have more than 20 more years to live. At least I hope it won’t be more than 20. That would take me to 100 and that’s enough for me. I would still be older than my parents.

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