Giggity Gaetz


Cjones04042021

Three things I have never liked much are clubs, DJs, and frat boys.

The first thing I did when I was newly single after my marriage was check out clubs with some new single friends. I hated it. Sure, I spent a lot of years single and going out for cocktails with friends. But a lot of that was part of the music scene I was in and in dive bars. Dive bars are different than clubs. Clubs are usually flashier with strobe lights and techno music playing, have a polo-shirt dress code, and a ridiculous cover guys are willing to pay to meet girls who are usually let in for free. Dive bars are usually falling apart, have regulars, a jukebox and TV, you know the bartender and he knows you, there is not a dress code, and NEVER a cover.

Clubs have overpriced drinks with the business strategy that you purchase these oversized drink for women you just met. In clubs, the women tend to run in packs and often if you want to buy one a shot, then you gotta buy all the friends a shot. In dive bars, they have PBR. You can purchase an expensive drink at a dive bar but you normally don’t go there for that.

In clubs, people tend to get dumber. In dive bars, you encounter more sarcasm. In clubs, you find frat boys. In dive bars, frat boys are barely tolerated. In dive bars, you can find ethnic diversity, liberals, rednecks, people who are straight, people who are gay, and drag queens. People go to clubs to pick up other people for sex. Sure, in a dive bar, you can take home some strange, but it’s usually happenstance.

Clubs also have DJs. I hate DJs. I hate going to a place to pay a cover to watch some tasteless asshole spin his record collection. Fuck that guy and fuck that club. A lot of DJs also think they are musicians. They are not. You are not a musician because you are spinning other people’s music…even if you get credit for the song selection. At best, you’re a shitty producer or engineer. DJs have Denning-Kruger syndrome when it comes to taste. They don’t have taste but they think they do.

Then there are frat boys. If you are a member of a fraternity, that doesn’t mean I don’t like you. Being a member of a fraternity doesn’t make you a frat boy. The frat boy is the guy who’s a date-raping, entitled trust-fund baby, always hitting on women, disrespecting them as if they’re part of his property, runs in a pack of assholes, showered in Axe body spray that has a scent called “Misty Green Monster Voodoo” or some shit, and while he’ll buy a $12 shot to pick up a hottie, the beer in his keg is Miller High Life because he doesn’t care about the quality when it could land in either his belly or be boofed up his ass. Seriously.

Do you know where to find frat boys (other than frats)? At clubs where DJs are playing.

Every time I see Matt Gaetz, I see an entitled trust-fund baby frat boy. We always knew he was a d-bag, but this investigation into him and sex trafficking is proving he’s a bigger bag-of-dicks than we were aware of. How is that even possible?

The Justice Department is looking into whether Gaetz didn’t just pay for an underage teenage girl to fly across state lines to have sex with him, but if he was paying other women for sex. They’re looking to see if he paid women in cash and drugs. And according to people who work in the U.S. Capitol, Gaetz is really fond of showing nude photos of women he slept with to fellow congressmen on the floor of the House.

Whoever told the press about the nude photos was not a Democrat. One of the people who leaked it is a supposed friend of Gaetz. The first question I had when I heard of Matt Gaetz sharing nude photos was: Has Brett Kavanaugh seen them?

Of course, the Supreme Court Justice doesn’t have anything to do with this case, but when I think of asshole frat boys boofing beer up their assholes, I think of Matt Gaetz and Brett Kavanaugh. While both of these guys are disrespectful to women, the one difference between them is that Gaetz may not last the week, and we’re stuck with Kavanaugh for the next 30 years.

In regards to Gaetz sharing nude photos: It’s very inappropriate. For one thing, he’s doing it on the floor of the House. Now, I know Republicans don’t respect the Capitol as they’re willing to back a white supremacist terrorist attack on it. But how about exhibiting just a little dignity on the floor, hmm? Also, most guys don’t want to see the nude photos on your phone of women you slept with. I don’t even wanna know you have them.

Also, carrying nude photos around on your phone, that’s just creepy. And if you have received nude photos from a woman or she allowed you to take them, that does NOT give you the right to share them with your buddies. I guarantee the photos Gaetz has were given to him with the intention they were for his eyes only. To share them is disrespecting the person who gave them to you and it doesn’t make you look cool.

Also, when a woman gives you photos, they don’t belong to you. If she ever requests that you delete them, you delete them. They’re not your photos. But if you send them to someone like Matt Gaetz, they’ll become everyone’s photo.

There’s an old-antiquated idea that when we vote, we choose from amongst the best of us. Now, it’s like the entire Republican Party is racing to the bottom. It’s like they’re trying to out vile each other. They went from being the party of family values and patriotism to the party of “grab them by the pussy” and pro-Putin. They laugh at children being ripped from their families in order to “own the libs.” Marjorie Taylor Green, Lauren Boebert, Jim Jordan, Josh Hawley, Ted Cruz, Donald Trump, and Matt Gaetz are not the best of us.

Quite frankly, I’d rather vote for Quagmire.

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11 comments

  1. Interjection…

    exclamation expressing sexual excitement. Popularized by the character Glen Quagmire in the US cartoon Family Guy.

    Did not watch Family Guy, but my sons did…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The thing I hate is, an Associate Supreme Court Justice is completely separated from accountability. Some past justices improved over many, many years. But others, like Thomas and Alito, seem worse than ever. It does no harm, if there is a unanimous decision, but other times they love to inflict destruction. I wouldn’t be surprised if they ended the right to abortion, or prevented patients fron traveling to out-of-state clinics. They could prohibit contraceptives or morning after pills.

      Speaking for myself, they also radicalize me. Now I’m ready to see all capital punishment ended, just because I don’t trust my opponents anymore. That is ridiculous. Imagine if you hated anyone who beat you in tennis or basketball. Even gazelles and buffaloes don’t hate lions. “It’s just business.” (Lions and hyenas might hate each other, but then, they are somewhat related, and of course those are always the ones who irritate you.)

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The finale is spot on Clay…

    There’s an old-antiquated idea that when we vote, we choose from amongst the best of us. Now, it’s like the entire Republican Party is racing to the bottom. It’s like they’re trying to out vile each other. They went from being the party of family values and patriotism to the party of “grab them by the pussy” and pro-Putin. They laugh at children being ripped apart from their families in order to “own the libs.” Marjorie Taylor Green, Lauren Boebert, Jim Jordan, Josh Hawley, Ted Cruz, Donald Trump, and Matt Gaetz are not the best of us.

    Quite frankly, I’d rather vote for Quagmire.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You have been hot these days, Clay. Congratulations. May I ask, what was it pissed you off so much you stopped censoring your own content and started showing your readers what you are truly capable of. I’m hoping you feel a lot freer these days. You certainly read like a plug has been pulled, or an almost-closed door opened wide. Before I liked your toons. Now I like you. What a difference a date makes. That date was about a week or two ago, but not sure which exactly. Maybe you know. I’m just glad it happened. Rage on, brother. You are now my brother.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    Gaetz has been a thorn on my side – I live in FloriDUH!! This makes me happy!! … “There’s an old-antiquated idea that when we vote, we choose from amongst the best of us. Now, it’s like the entire Republican Party is racing to the bottom. It’s like they’re trying to out vile each other. They went from being the party of family values and patriotism to the party of “grab them by the pussy” and pro-Putin.”

    Liked by 2 people

  5. So this. Is the frathole Capitol Police died defending. I’d like to wrap these clowns in baling wire and stack them as vehicle barriers.

    Those who ponder whether God exists count every day that Kavanaugh is not vaporized by a meteorite. Maybe He is waiting for him to enter an unpopulated area, but if You count every sparrow that falls, mile-deep impact craters pose a philosophical problem. The sparrow never voted to confirm him. Also the sparrow has friends and a mother.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. First time I saw Matt Gaetz was at a hearing where he was telling the father of a Parkland victim that his daughter had been killed by illegal immigrants. The Dad snapped back – and was escorted out of the hearing. D**chebag is too good a word for Matt Gaetz. And I come from the home state of Jockstrap Gym Jordan.

    Liked by 1 person

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