Matt Gaetz

Crazy or Crazy

Did you really think I was going to let the GOP response to President Biden’s State of the Union address slip past me? It may be a few days late, but here it is.

The Republican Party is so out of touch that it doesn’t realize it’s out of touch. As for myself, I know sometimes I’m out of touch. I attended the wedding of my niece Lyndsay last week and every time I opened my mouth, I could hear those new home buyers turning into their parents from those insurance commercials. Is the groom nervous? I couldn’t tell because he was running away too fast. HAHAHAHA no?

Republicans should have made huge gains in last year’s midterm elections but nominated wackjobs like Herschel Walker, Dr. Oz, and Kari Lake. Before the elections, they celebrated the Supreme Court’s reversal of Roe v Wade and pushed red states to ban abortions. Another major message from the party was hate as they used refugees as political pawns to “own the libs.” After gaining the House with a slight majority, Speaker Kevin McCarthy caved in to the goons like Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert and put them on some of the most important committees in Congress.

When placed in the same room with President Biden last week, Biden came off as the reasoned, rational, and mature one while the GOP came out like howler monkeys that ate a lot of paste while growing up under electrical wires.

Republicans gave us another huge example of how out of touch they are with their choice to give their response to President Biden’s State of the Union address. Claiming they were trying to appeal to American youth, they chose Sarah Huckabee Sanders. I know I make a lot of jokes here but that’s not one of them. They chose Sarah Huckabee Sanders to appeal to the youth vote. Seriously. You can Google this.

Appealing to the nation’s youth, Huckasans is not a great choice…unless you’re going for young hillbillies. But if they were looking for experience in lying, one of the former White House spokesgoons from the Trump administration isn’t a bad choice. Personally, I think they should have had Sean Spicer deliver it while wearing his puffy pirate shirt from his Dancing with the Star appearance.

Huckasans went from being a spokesperson to governor which would be a huge step up if the state weren’t Arkansas. The biggest feature of Sarah Huckabee Sanders is that she’s a liar and a defender of the worst behavior.

When Trump caged immigrant children, she said it was “very biblical.”

When Trump retweeted Islamophobic videos chock full of lies, she said it didn’t matter if the videos were “real” and told reporters that if they were focusing “on the nature of the video, you’re focusing on the wrong thing.”

How out of touch is Huckasans? Weeks after the Uvalde shooting that killed 19 children, she said, “We will make sure that when a kid is in the womb, they’re as safe as they are in a classroom.” There were 51 school shootings in 2022 that resulted in injuries or death.

After Trump fired FBI Director James Comey, she told the press that “countless” FBI agents told her they were happy with the firing. She later testified under oath that she made that up. She lied. She later claimed her lie, some bullshit she totally invented, was a mere “slip of the tongue.” She even lied about what a “slip of the tongue” is. A “slip of the tongue” is a mistake in speech, like saying the wrong name during sex. Slips of the tongue usually reveal more truths than lies.

She committed illegal ethical code violations by using her government Twitter account to slam a restaurant that refused to serve her and to attack The New York Times for running an anonymous Op-Ed from an insider within the Trump administration (sic).

She posted a video from InfoWars of CNN’s Jim Acosta that was doctored to make him seem physically aggressive toward a White House intern and used it to defend the Trump administration taking away Acosta’s White House press credentials. They couldn’t admit the real reason they took away his press credentials was that he asked tough questions.

She claims she’s a Christian and “God wanted Trump to be president.” God did send several plagues on us so that could be true. Why couldn’t we get frogs?

She claimed that Trump’s unfinished border wall had stopped nearly 4,000 known or suspected terrorists at the U.S.-Mexico border in 2018 when it only stopped six people who were on the no-fly list. Lots of people get placed on the no-fly list. You can get placed on it for trying to transport potato salad with raisins. OK, that might be terrorism.

She claimed the Mueller Report was “a total and complete exoneration” of Donald Trump even though it states inside the report that it “does NOT exonerate” him.

She played the victim when that restaurant denied her service because they don’t want to serve lying right-wing goosestepping goons who are destroying the nation. She also played it in another incident, After a reporter used the term “lopping of heads” while saying there should be a staff shakeup on the White House communication team, she cried, “They’ve said I should be choked, they said I should deserve a lifetime of harassment, but certainly never had somebody say that I should be decapitated.”

She’s out of touch from her own party. While a candidate for governor, she said she would outlaw all abortions in the state and wouldn’t allow any exceptions for rape or incest. A majority of Republicans disagree with this.

One of her first acts as governor was to ban the word “Latinx” from all state documents claiming it constitutes “ethnically insensitive and pejorative language.”

During her response to the State of the Union Tuesday night, she said, “Most Americans simply want to live their lives in freedom and peace, but we are under attack in a left-wing culture war we didn’t start and never wanted to fight. Every day, we are told that we must partake in their rituals, salute their flags, and worship their false idols, all while big government colludes with Big Tech to strip away the most American thing there is—your freedom of speech. That’s not normal. It’s crazy, and it’s wrong. She later added that the “dividing line in America is no longer between right and left, it’s between normal or crazy.”

So the party that gives us Huckasans, Lauren dumbest-person-in-Congress Boebert, Jim Gym Jordan, pathological liar George Santos, Ms. Frazzledrip Gazpacho Police Jewish Space Lasers Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Matt Giggity Gaetz is the normal choice?

Even some Republicans thought Huckasans was a lousy choice. White nationalist Steve Bannon, while talking to asshat Lou Dobbs, blasted her saying she’s not “intellectually capable of going to the heart of the matter.”

Bannon and Lou Dobbs were mostly upset she didn’t mention Donald Trump once in her speech. But an editorial in the Arkansas Times criticized her for “snarling about wokeness and the radical left.” Austin Bailey wrote, “It got pretty dark and weird” and described it as a “word salad of talking points and name-calling, with some attempts at folksy relatability thrown in.” He wrote, “Sanders’ rebuttal to Biden’s State of the Union address was light on policy, heavy on menace.”

Conservative commentator Amanda Carpenter contrasted Biden’s speech, saying focused on “the economy and concrete issues,” with Sanders’ speech, describing it as a “deep plunge into dystopian culture wars.”

Carpenter wrote for Bulwark, “These annual canned rebuttals usually come off as tone-deaf. but with Sanders, there was an additional, unexpected contrast with Biden. She spoke for a dreary 15 minutes — all scripted according to teleprompter, with no audience. Biden spoke for more than an hour, with a teleprompter in front of plenty of hostile Republicans. Biden, 80 years young, rolled with it, tackling every tough subject on his agenda, inviting Republicans to join him at every turn. Sanders, 40 years old, droned on, her entire speech devoted to demonizing Biden.”

Former GOP strategist Steve Schmidt said Sanders was “abusing” viewers with “MAGA lies.” Schmidt said, “It was stale. It was old. It was an ugly speech from a lying governor who is unfit for any type of public service.” I disagree and believe Sanders would do an amazing job at picking up dog poo in public parks.

Sanders did this culture war thing for the Republican response to the State of the Union thinking it would work nationally because it worked in Arkansas. But what’s the Republican Party’s reasoning for choosing her? Granted, their choices of rational people in their party are limited, but couldn’t they have found at least one person in the GOP who’s not a raving barking lying lunatic? One. We only need one for one night. No? No.

With these kinds of decisions from the GOP, I half expect George Santos to give the rebuttal next year.

Music note: I listened to Audioslave.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Advertisement

Most Punchable Face In Washington

The most shocking thing about a congressman trying to punch Matt Gaetz in his ridiculous-looking face is that it’s the first time it’s ever happened…as far as we know. And I don’t find it surprising that the attempted puncher of the most punchable face in Washington was one of Gaetz’s fellow Republicans.

Honestly, maybe Gaetz doesn’t have the MOST punchable face in Washington. He has competition from Jim Jordan, Rand Paul, and Ted Cruz. He even has stiff competition for the most punchable face in Florida from Rick Scott and Ron DeSantis.

Republicans typically behave like dehumanized troglodytes but when I see one try to physically assault Matt Gaetz, it makes me think that maybe there is some humanity in that person. And if you stayed up late Friday night, that’s what you saw… a Republican tried to attack Matt Gaetz. The greatest mystery here is, why did another Republican hold him back?

Matt Gaetz is a pathetic vile troll who tries to derail the government for attention when he’s not busy showing off naked photos of all the girls he claims he’s had sex with. If anything, the Department of Justice should have slapped Gaetz with an indictment for taking teen girls across state lines for sex.

I have two questions for you: Who do you believe has the most punchable face in Washington and, how much would you pay to slap the taste out of Matt Gaetz’s mouth?

Facebook Suspension Update: There are 4 days left (ooh, we’re getting closer), so it says, in my Facebook suspension for typing the word “Taliban.” Quannah had a countdown clock for it, but it broke.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Punxsutawney Gaetz

I told you I wasn’t going to draw a Groundhogs Day cartoon, but I’m breaking my rule.

I didn’t want to use Groundhog Day to comment on the current debacle of Republicans being unable to elect a Speaker of the House. I felt it was too much of a cliché since everyone on all the news shows has been using it which means there will soon be a dozen political cartoons using it. I’ve already seen one by a cartoonist with a rep for phoning it in. But I decided I could use it in a different way like how I used Pinocchio last week, which I also knew beforehand that there’d be other cartoons on George Santos with that trope.

In case you haven’t watched a movie since before 1993, Groundhog Day is an excellent film, that’s become a cult classic, by Harold Ramis about a TV weatherman, played by Bill Murray, who is forced to go to Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, and cover Groundhog Day which he believes is beneath him. He’s a local newscaster and he expects the networks are going to come calling any day now. He refers to himself as “the talent.” A blizzard arrives, which he assured on TV was not going to happen and strands him, his producer, and his cameraman in Punxsutawney. He’s a real sarcastic condescending miserable jerk to everybody, even before he has to start re-living the same day over and over again. What seems to make it even worse for him is that every person he encounters is really chipper, who all point out that his name, Phil, is like the Groundhogs.

He doesn’t take to re-living the same bitterly-cold day over and over again surrounded by happy-faced people well. He actually becomes more miserable and a larger jerk to everyone around him as he relives each day. It seems the intention of the Groundhog Day gods is for him to become a better person, which he eventually becomes.

But the thing is, Groundhog Day is only repeating for Bill Murray. For everyone else, each repeat of the day is the first time for them as no one except Phil (the human, not the groundhog) remembers they’ve already done this before. He’s living the Groundhog Day hell all by himself, alone. So this is where our current situation is NOT like Groundhog Day.

We’re all reliving this hell. You would think Kevin McCarthy would be reliving these daily rebukes and humiliations all by himself, but nope. We’re all along for the ride…and I’m OK with that. Personally, I like seeing McCarthy humiliated on a daily basis. Much like the newscaster in Groundhog Day, I can also be a condescending miserable sarcastic jerk and chipper people really piss me off. Is it just me, or do people who are cheerful all the goddamn time come off as morons?

Right-wing fuckos on TV keep saying this is bad because it gives the impression that Republicans are the party of chaos and will not be able to govern. But that’s not true. It’s not just an impression. They truly are the party of chaos and they can not govern. As of this writing, there have been 11 failed ballots to elect a speaker. ELEVEN!!! If nothing else, Kevin McCarthy, who is the choice for the majority of Republicans, can’t count votes. And idiot Matt Gaetz keeps nominating Donald Trump, which means Trump keeps losing more elections. If Matt Prom King Gaetz nominates Trump again today, on January 6, that’ll be like nominating Osama bin Laden on September 11.

And there is something truly uniquely horrifying about Matt Gaetz’s head and face, like his mother licked car batteries while she was pregnant with him.

Get the popcorn (hit, that’s another cliché), because I love watching this repeat over and over and over (except for the nominating speeches. Ugh). But, I’m loving it for now. If this prolongs indefinitely, it will drive us all mad.

According to WhatCulture.com, Bill Murray’s character in Groundhogs Day was stuck in that loop for 33 years and 350 days. Man, that’s specific. That means he relived the same Groundhogs Day stuck in Pennsylvania 12,395 times. I don’t even like having to stop at Pennsylvania rest areas when driving through the state (it could be worse. He could have been stuck in Indiana) If we have to relive these failed speaker vote days, that means there will be at least three ballots a day, which means there will be around 37,185 nominating speeches singing the praises of Kevin McCarthy.

That also means a lot more nominations for Hair Fuhrer. Matt Gaetz might enjoy licking Donald Trump’s sweaty orange ass 37,185 times, but I don’t want to have to watch it.

Facebook Suspension Update: There are 7 days left (I forgot to update this part over the past few days), so it says, in my Facebook suspension for typing the word “Taliban.” Quannah had a countdown clock for it, but it broke.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Laptop Strikes Again

Yes, I dropped this joke in a blog two days ago, and I liked it. I was worried another cartoonist would steal it, but I posted it on a Friday and most cartoonists don’t work weekends, especially holiday weekends.

Do not expect the Republican-controlled House to accomplish much, if anything, for the next two years. You can’t take a party seriously when they give the chair of a committee to a lying asswipe goon like Jim Jordan whose face is still embedded between the orange buttcheeks of Donald Trump. This is a guy who helped Donald Trump commit sedition and a coup attempt and got caught lying his treasonous balls off about it, and now he’s the one who’s going to try to get to the bottom of a supposed crime? As Sarah Marshall said in the excellent movie, “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” “Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.”

You also can’t take these people seriously when goons like high-school dropout Lauren Boebert, prom-dating Matt Gaetz, and white nationalist terrorist enthusiast Marjorie Taylor Greene are among its members who the party circles the wagons around to protect.

And, you can’t take them seriously when they don’t do anything about incoming freshman liar George Santos. Remember, the Democrats forced out Al Franken for a decades-old joke.

Republicans are not good at multitasking. They can’t walk and chew gum at the same time. The likes of each of those mentioned above have made it clear that they intend to spend the next two years using their majority to lie, gaslight, and smear their political enemies over a conspiracy theory.

Seriously, the only person who’s going to accomplish anything with a GOP majority for the next two years is, well…me.

Happy new year.

Music note: I tried to listen to the new Bush album.

Facebook Suspension Update: There are 11 days left, so it says, in my Facebook suspension for typing the word “Taliban.” Quannah had a countdown clock for it, but it broke.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Read The Room

One thing that President Volodymyr Zelensky’s visit to the White House and address to a joint session of Congress did yesterday was help the anti-democratic pro-Putin fascists expose themselves.

Sure, they’ve been doing this for a while, but we got to see seven Republicans sit on their hands for the majority of Zelensky’s speech yesterday. These GOP goons were Jim Jordan, Matt Gaetz, Lauren Boebert, Andrew Clyde, Diana Harshbarger, Warren Davidson, and Michael Cloud. What did they disagree with about Zelensky’s pro-democracy speech?

The truth is, they don’t want to support someone who opposes Putin, but they don’t want to come out directly and praise Putin, except for Trump, who called Putin a “genius” for his invasion of Ukraine. What they try to do is disguise it.

Kevin McCarthy tried to disguise it by pretending to be a fiscal conservative, which he’s not. He said after the GOP takes over the House in the next session, that there will be no more “blank checks” for Ukraine. Lauren Boebert howled about sending $47 billion to Ukraine and attacked Mitch McConnell for his support. The $47 billion is the Republican’s number, and not all of it is going to Ukraine.

Donald Trump Jr, who inherited everything he has, attacked President Zelensky and called him a “welfare queen.” He probably would have said the same thing if he was around when we were sending military support to the UK and Winston Churchill to fight Hitler and the Nazis.

A pro-Putin fascist with a bought blue checkmark tweeted conspiracy theories at me this morning that was created by Putin. He also accused Zelensky of being a “warmonger” even though it was Russia that invaded Ukraine, not the other way around.

Marjorie Taylor Greene has consistently opposed supporting Ukraine stating, “It’s not our responsibility to give Zelensky and the Ukrainian people false hope about a war they cannot win,” although they are winning. She also claimed that Democrats care more about Ukraine’s border than our southern border with Mexico as if Mexicans are bombing U.S. churches, schools, and daycare centers.

Ted Rall, an American cartoonist who “draws” for Putin, claims Ukraine is corrupt while ignoring Russian corruption and that nation’s fascism. He also spreads lies that President Biden is taking bribes, which Republicans also spread.

Another pro-Putin cartoonist, Gary McCoy, posted outrage on Facebook that we’re sending $44 billion to Ukraine while antibiotics are being rationed at Walgreens. Somehow in the MAGAt mind, there’s a correlation there.

Other MAGAts are crying that our supply of weapons is dwindling because we’re sending it all to Ukraine. We spend over $800 billion a year on our military so I think we’re going to be OK. We have warehouses and stockpiles of military supplies that will never be used. Others cry that this is padding the pockets of the military-industrial complex. Again, we spend over $800 billion a year. Now you’re concerned about enriching the industry that manufactures weapons?

And then there’s the complaint that the money we send to Ukraine isn’t being accounted for. I don’t know where this one comes from because from all appearances, it seems Ukraine is putting it to great use, proven by the fact Russia hasn’t won the war and Ukraine is actually retaking territory. For me, watching Russia retreat is our audit.

Here’s the thing, goons: Sending money to Ukraine to fight Russia is money well spent. Russia is our enemy and we’re not fighting them. We’re not sending troops. Instead, Ukraine is inflicting a beating on our greatest enemy and weakening it for future conflicts. Russia is a nation that continues to attack us in an attempt to destroy our democracy. They worked to put a pro-fascist racist goon into the White House. They have it coming. I don’t know if $47 billion is enough.

I’m going to continue to support Ukraine because supporting its war against Russia is pro-America. Those who support Putin and Russia are anti-American. They are the enemies of this nation and democracy.

I stand with Ukraine. Go, Ukraine!

Facebook Suspension Update: There are 22 days left in my Facebook suspension for typing the word “Taliban.” Here’s Quannah’s countdown clock.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Freaks Come Out In 2023

Not only will Republicans hold up President Biden’s agenda if they retake the House, but they’ll work to defund Social Security and Medicare, hold the government hostage by shutting down the government during the next debt-ceiling deadline, and work to give Donald Trump more tax cuts. Additionally, they’re going to conduct a bunch of bullshit investigations that they’re going to have to make a lot of shit up for. The entire GOP agenda is about inflicting revenge on the Democrats for trying to protect the nation from a corrupt “president” and his white nationalist terrorist goons.

So what kind of shit will Republicans investigate?

They’re going to investigate Hunter Biden and his laptop. If the GOP retakes the House, James Comer will likely be the chair of the House Oversight and Reform Committee and he’s promising to investigate the Bidens’ overseas business activities. Comer wants to get a hold of financial records from banks and the Treasury Department to prove that the president is compromised by his son’s business dealings, even though there is zero proof of any corruption from President Biden.

Comer said, “I think that’ll go a long way towards helping us be able to uncover some questions that the American people have about the ethics, and whether or not the Biden administration is truly compromised by Hunter’s shady business dealings.” What is corrupt is helping Donald Trump hide his business records and taxes all while he was bilking the U.S. government during his “presidency” while still making money from foreign governments, but I’m sure none of that compromised him. There’s also no interest from Republicans to find out why Saudi Arabia felt the need to give Jared Kushner $2 billion as soon as he left the White House.

Jim Jordan will likely chair the House Judiciary Committee and he plans to go after the Justice Department and FBI for raiding Mar-a-Lago. Jordan said, “The No. 1 thing is this weaponization of the DOJ against the American people.” Yeah, Donald Trump, a billionaire who shits in gold toilets, is NOT the American people. But how dare the FBI go after a billionaire for stealing classified documents. Maybe Jordan can conduct an investigation into why Trump wanted these documents in the basement of his country club, and why he lied about them for over a year. Jim Jordan also chaired some of the many Benghazi investigations which implicated nobody.

Jordan claims his office has received information from more than a dozen whistleblowers who came forward with allegations of FBI bias against conservatives, including the agency retaliating against employees with conservative views. Don’t hold your breath. You can expect this investigation to go after Attorney General Merrick Garland.

Jim Jordan shouldn’t be investigating anything when he’s the one who should be investigated over a myriad of issues. This guy can’t even come clean about how many times and when he talked to Trump on January 6.

Democrats created a select Oversight subcommittee investigating the coronavirus, and Republicans plan to keep the committee active…and use it to go after Dr. Anthony Fauci while accusing him of creating the virus. Seriously.

Republicans plan to use the House Foreign Affairs Committee to investigate the withdrawal of U.S. troops from Afghanistan but probably won’t talk a lot about the fact it was Donald Trump who set the date on which he negotiated with the Taliban.

There are plans to impeach Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas for the border situation. Steve Scalise, who’ll be second in charge of the House if Republicans take over said Mayorkas will be given a “reserved parking spot” because “he will be testifying so much about this.”

Last Wednesday on Steve Bannon’s podcast, Marjorie Taylor Greene (who currently doesn’t sit on any committees because she expressed a desire to murder Nancy Pelosi) said Republicans will investigate companies that halted donations to the GOP after January 6, 2021, white nationalist terrorist attack on the U.S. Capitol building. She said, “That’s not going to be forgotten by a whole bunch of my Republican colleagues.” This is fascist. Maybe if those corporations start giving money to Republicans again, then they won’t be investigated. MTG exhibits why it was such a good idea to remove her from her committee assignments. But I really do hope MTG’s future committee assignments don’t distract from her trolling and stalking people like Alexandra Ocasio Cortez and school shooting survivors.

Matt Gaetz, also talking to Steve Bannon (goons keep other goons on speed dial), said their number one priority should be to “engage in impeachment inquiries to get the documents and the testimony and the information we need.” Gaetz said “voters will feel betrayed” if they don’t go after President Biden in revenge for the two impeachments of Donald Trump. Gaetz told Bannon that impeaching Biden should take precedence over “policy and bill making” and expressed frustration with Republicans who might actually want to work with Democrats on legislation.

Gaetz said, “We are in a battle and we have to open up every vector of attack on a corrupt administration that is punishing the American people out of these virtue signals to wokeism.” What was missing was context, like what crimes and misdemeanors did President Biden commit to justify impeachment.

Just imagine the millions of taxpayer dollars Republicans are going to waste on these fake investigations.

The only possible good thing to come out of two years of Republicans controlling the House and Senate again is that it’ll remind American voters with short memories why they should never vote for Republicans.

Creative note: I wrote this cartoon two weeks ago and withheld it from Saturday’s batch of roughs.

Music note: I listened to The Black Keys and The Kinks.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Rapey McForehead

Bad news, pro-choice ladies. Rapey McForehead says you’re too ugly to sleep with and impregnate. Awww…I know. You’re heartbroken. I know you had your hopes up. Sorry.

Matt Gaetz is a vile reprehensible disgusting troll, so it makes perfect sense he kinda looks like a garden troll. But even garden trolls in their late 30s wouldn’t try to take your daughter to prom.

Your garden troll would also probably have too much respect for women to show nude photos of them to colleagues on the floor of the United States House of Representatives.

But even if your garden troll was vile, reprehensible, disgusting, and had zero respect for women, he probably wouldn’t be dumb enough to go around grading the physical aspects of women while he was under an FBI investigation for having sex with a minor. And that’s exactly what Florida Representative Matt Gaetz is doing, commenting on the physical aspects of protesters while he himself is under investigation for having sex with a minor, paying for sex, and sex trafficking.

At the same conference, where he was telling kids “say no to fatties,” Matt Gaetz made a comment that Mike Pence will “never be president,” and refered to him as a “RINO.” Really? Mike Pence is a moderate? Maybe somewhere in the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s multiverse, there’s a moderate Mike Pence. But, Pence’s former Chief of Staff, Marc Short, took notice of Gaetz’s comment and said, “Well, I don’t know if Mike Pence will run for president in 2024, but I don’t think Matt Gaetz will have an impact on that. In fact, I’d be surprised if he’s still voting. It’s more likely he’ll be in prison for child trafficking by 2024.”

Speaking to Turning Point USA Student Action Summit in Tampa, yeah…kids, Matt Gaetz said women who care about reproductive rights and control over their bodies are too ugly for him and other Republicans to fuck. It was very reminiscent of when Donald Trump defended himself by saying his accusers weren’t hot enough for him to sexually assault.

Gaetz told students (who thought this was a good idea?), “How many of the women rallying against overturning Roe are over-educated, under-loved millennials who sadly return from protests to a lonely microwave dinner with their cats, and no bumble matches?”

Hey, kids. It’s fun and totally appropriate to sexualize women. The congressman does. The only hope here is that the kids were too distracted by Gaetz’s giant freaking forehead to have paid attention to the sexism that was coming out of his stupid big-teeth mouth.

This is a tactic Republicans often use when they can’t counter an argument. They try to destroy their opponent’s credibility. The problem with Gaetz’s use of this tactic is that Gaetz isn’t smart enough to use it. What does anyone’s physical appearance have to do with their position on human rights? Gaetz isn’t smart enough to understand that a lot of people advocate for the rights of other people, even if it doesn’t personally affect them. Case in point: I believe in abortion rights even though I can’t get pregnant and don’t plan on impregnating anyone ever again. I oppose GOP efforts to make it harder for black Americans to vote, even though their racist legislation won’t affect my right to vote.

Gaetz and other Republicans don’t get that you can care about people who are not you. Even Homer Simpson eventually had this epiphany in The Simpson’s Movie.

But, Gaetz wasn’t done. The guy who can’t get laid unless he pays a child for it (supposedly) said, “Have you watched these pro-abortion, pro-murder rallies? The people are just disgusting. But why is it that the women with the least likelihood of getting pregnant are the ones most worried about having abortions? Nobody wants to impregnate you if you look like a thumb. These people are odious on the inside and out. They’re like 5’2”, 350 pounds, and they’re like, ‘Give me my abortion or I’ll get up and march and protest.’ I’m thinking, march? You look like you got ankles weaker than the legal reasoning behind Roe v. Wade. A few of ‘em need to get up and march. They need to get up and march for like an hour a day, swing those arms, get the blood pumping, maybe mix in a salad.” I wonder if Gaetz swings his arms while trolling high schools?

Apparently, Gaetz has been seeking out PILFs, protesters he’d like to fuck. At some point, I hope the person who booked Gaetz for this event realizes it wasn’t a good idea to book a man in favor of forcing ten-year-old girls to give birth to their rapists’ babies, might be a rapist himself.

Hey, everyone, the possible pedophile has some thoughts on your abortion protest.

But what if Gaetz is right? What if a person can be too ugly to protest? If some people are too ugly to protest, then some people are too stupid looking to serve in Congress.

And if having someone who wants to sleep with you is a requirement to have an opinion, then every incel on GAB, 4chan, Truth Social, and all the other social media sites need to get off the internet. Paying someone for sex doesn’t count, since they have to WANT to sleep with you.

Why is it that the men who think they’re qualified to determine who is and isn’t attractive enough to have sex are always men who look like Donald Trump and Matt Gaetz? Has Matt Gaetz seen himself? Does he have a mirror large enough to catch his face and forehead? Why is it that the men who criticize women’s appearances the most are always the men who’ve been accused of rape and sexual assault?

This brings up the late great George Carlin, who Gaetz stole his bit from (we have the internet too, fucko). Carlin asked, ““Why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place?”

Looking at Matt Gaetz and Donald Trump, quite frankly, I think most women would rather fuck a garden troll.

Creative note: The title of this blog was actually just a holding title, and I forgot to change it before publishing. Eh. Oh well.

Music note: I listened to Hall & Oates and The Cars while drawing today.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Coupers and Gropers

We have found out which members of Congress asked the White House for a pardon. The list includes Andy Biggs, Mo Brooks, Matt Gaetz, Louie Gohmert, Scott Perry, and Marjorie Taylor Greene. Each were part of the Big Lie that Trump “won” the election and helped try to overturn the election their party lost. Each are enemies of democracy and support fascism.

Trump’s former head of presidential personnel, Johnny McEntee, testified that Trump “had hinted at a blanket pardon for the Jan. 6 thing for anybody.” That’s exactly what Matt Gaetz asked for, a “blanket pardon.”

Eric Herschmann, a White House lawyer for Trump, testified that Gaetz asked for a blanket pardon like the one Richard Nixon got from President Ford for his coverup of Watergate. Herschmann testified, “He mentioned Nixon, and I said, ‘Nixon’s pardon was never nearly that broad.’” 

You probably know that Matt Gaetz is currently under an FBI investigation for sex trafficking minors. If he’s innocent of that then why would he request a pardon? Hmm?

Cassidy Hutchinson, a former adviser to Trump’s Chief-of-Staff Mark Meadoes, testified that Gaetz, Gohmert, Perry, and Biggs all expressed interest in pardons. She also testified that Jim Jordan of Ohio “talked about” pardons but did not directly ask for one, and that she heard of newly elected Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia also expressing interest to the White House Counsel’s Office. MTG should have gone to Jared.

Once upon a time, it would have been considered unfathomable to keep serving in Congress after admitting you committed a crime, because asking for a presidential pardon is a confession of guilt. There was a time when members of Congress wouldn’t have looked the other way or made excuses for their law-breaking colleagues, even if they were members of their own party. But now, the Republican Party is the party that tried to overturn an election and commit a coup. The GOP tried to destroy democracy…and they’re still trying.

And maybe Dan Snyder should ask for a pardon even though no criminal charges have been brought up on him yet.

Just like with the Trumpers who refuse to testify before the January 6 Committee investigating Trump’s coup attempt, Washington Commanders owner Daniel Snyder is refusing to testify before the House Oversight Committee about the “toxic” workplace environment he created at the team. Snyder is too busy being on a French vacation to testify which is like some crap a Trumper would come up with.

There is a culture among these people from Trump to Snyder that they’re too important and entitled to comply with a congressional subpoean.

Committee Chairwoman Carolyn Maloney says Snyder “himself fostered” the football team’s “toxic workplace” and then “conducted a shadow investigation to target his accusers, pin the blame on others, and influence the NFL’s own internal review.”

She said Snyder “fired women but not men who engaged in relationships with other employees, while defending male executives accused of sexual harassment.”

She also said that Snyder sent private investigators to former cheerleaders’ homes, “offered hush money to buy their silence,” created a “dossier” of communications from journalists, attorneys and former employees who accused the team of harassment, and tried to blame former team President Bruce Allen for the team’s troubles. Maybe Snyder should have hired Rudy Giuliani to harass people. I hear he needs the work.

Maloney also said, “The NFL was aware of his actions, but failed to stop him.” It’s the NFL’s reluctance to make their own investigation of Snyder public that spurred the investigation by Congress, which Republicans like Jim Jordan are trying to discredit. Snyder, like the Trumpers, know that if the GOP retakes Congress that in January, all this will go away.

Despite refusing to make the findings of their investigation public, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell testified before the panel on Wednesday and said that the Commanders’ culture was “not only unprofessional, but toxic for far too long.”

He also said, “It is clear to me that the workplace in Washington was unprofessional and unacceptable in numerous respects: bullying, widespread disrespect toward colleagues, use of demeaning language, public embarrassment and harassment,” Goodell said. “Moreover, for a prolonged period of time, the Commanders had a woefully deficient HR function, particularly with respect to reporting practices and recordkeeping.”

The NFL fined the teams $10 million and Goodell seems to believe that with Snyder stepping aside to let his wife run the team, then everyone should just move on.

The billionaire boys club of NFL owners need to impeach Dan Snyder.

While Republicans are trying to discredit the hearings, Maloney noted that attorneys general in six states had told the NFL in April of their “grave concerns” about allegations of workplace harassment of women and minorities. And if the NFL isn’t going to protect these people, then Congress needs to step in and do it.

That’s what Congress should do, protect us from a toxic culture…like the culture of Republicans breaking laws, trying to overturn the government by throwing out elections, trying to install fascist groping dictators, and then asking for pardons for their all while continuing to serve in office while defending their crimes and continuing their lies.

Lock them all up, the coupers and the gropers.

Creative note: I went into a spaghetti coma last night and screwed up my sleep schedule. So, I drew this after midnight and didn’t listen to any tunes as I was going from one page to another to focus on the caricatures. I was also getting a lot of congratulatory messages on the SDX Award which I haven’t told you about yet.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Gaetz Gets Dirty

CjonesRGB02012022

In 2017, Matt Gaetz was the only member of Congress to vote against a law boosting the government’s human trafficking investigatory powers, saying he was sent to Congress to reduce the reach of government. Matt Gaetz voted against the government coming after him for reaching for teenage girls. Matt Gaetz is all about protecting terrorists and pedophiles.

There’s a year-long federal investigation into whether Matt Gaetz paid to have sex with a minor he took across state lines. This would be sex trafficking.

Gaetz’s former party buddy, Joel Greenberg, is a convicted sex trafficker. Greenberg is now cooperating with federal investigators and now a grand jury has been convened looking into the allegations against Gaetz. Those testifying include Matt Gaetz’s ex-girlfriends. I’m as shocked as you. Matt Gaetz had girlfriends, plural?

Joseph Elliccot, another friend of Matt Gaetz, just pleaded guilty this week to drug and fraud charges. Like Donald Trump, Gaetz is friends with a lot of criminals.

Elliccot has reached a plea deal that reportedly involves turning on Gaetz. His lawyer says Elliccot saw Gaetz attend parties involving “a whole lot” of sex and drug use. Ellicott is also a potential witness to Gaetz being told he had sex with a 17-year-old.

Gaetz is a creepy guy. He’s been known to show nude photos to congressional colleagues on the House floor that he took of girls he had sex with.

In 2018, Greenberg made Venmo payments to three young women totaling $900, describing the money on the app as for “Tuition” or “School.” Coincidentally, Gaetz sent Greenberg $900 the night before on Venmo, writing in one transaction “hit up ___,” using a nickname for the 17-year old.

Greenberg also claims he witnessed Gaetz paying teenage girls for sex. There’s another report that Gaetz asked Donald Trump, while he was still actually president (sic), for a blanket pardon, even though he hasn’t been charged with a crime…yet.

House Minority Leader, and maybe its next Speaker, is standing by Gaetz. So are other House goons like Jim Jordan, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Lauren Boebert. Gaetz has threatened that after the GOP takes back the house, his gang of goons will inflict revenge against every Democrat who’s gone after Trump and white nationalist terrorists. But that’s going to be really difficult for Gaetz to do if he’s busy defending himself in court on federal charges of sex trafficking…or from prison.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

The Squawking Heads

CjonesRGB12032021

After Representative Paul Gosar tweeted an anime depicting himself murdering fellow representative Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, he pulled it off Twitter and told Speaker Nancy Pelosi, “Relax. It’s just a cartoon.” After he was censored by the House and lost his committee assignments, he posted it back on Twitter.

Keep in mind, he didn’t just see something on Twitter, find it amusing, and retweet it, which would have been bad enough. Remember when Trump retweeted Nazis? Yeah. No, what Gosar did was have his staff create this anime threatening to murder AOC, his colleague.

So, how many times have you threatened to kill a coworker and kept your job?

Last week, Representative Lauren Boebert was speaking to constituents in the dumb part of Colorado (I love you, Colorado…most of you) when she made a joke about Representative Ilhan Omar, who is Muslim, being a terrorist. She told a story about being in an elevator with Omar at the Capital complex and Omar had a backpack. According to Boebert, she made a joke to Omar about her backpack being a bomb. Her Islamophobic audience all had a hearty laugh. She also said Omar was a member of the “Jihad Squad.”

Omar said this event never happened except in Boebert’s imagination.

In the past, Boebert has falsely described Omar as an advocate “for state-sponsored terrorism” and claimed she’s an “honorary member of Hamas” who is a “terrorist sympathizer.” Omar is about as much of a member of Hamas as Boebert is a Nazi and a full-fledged member of the KKK. OK, bad example.

Boebert later talked to Omar on the phone and the conversation started south and went further south. According to Omar, she hung up on Boebert. Talking to someone like Boebert is like talking to a pigheaded racist child…or one of my conservative critics. Boebert did apologize to the Muslim community but refused to apologize to Omar.

Boebert said she demanded that Omar apologize for her “anti-American, anti-Semitic, anti-police rhetoric,” none of which has anything to do with what Boebert said. Lauren Boebert is not an adult and she’s in Congress. Unfortunately, there are a lot of racist babies in Congress.

Paul Gosar knows there have been death threats on Ocasio-Cortez. What he did was endorse these death threats, encourage them, and maybe he even attempted to instigate a murder attempt. The same goes for Boebert. What she did was encourage hate, not just for Omar, but against all Muslims.

Republicans are making up a “war on Christmas” while one of them is pushing a stereotype that all Muslims are terrorists. Fun fact: Most terrorism in the United States is committed by white Christian males and NOT Muslims.

This is what the Republican Party has become. Earlier this year, the House sanctioned Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene and pulled her committee assignments after she issued death threats on her Democratic colleagues.

When Republicans defended Gosar, they lied. Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy said Gosar never saw the video before his staff posted it and that he apologized. He said, “It was not his intent to show any harm.” The video showed him cutting off a female coworker’s head.

Minority Whip Steve Scalise, who had been shot in an act of political violence, said, “He put out a statement, and he took the video down.”

Representative Tom Cole said Gosar admitted “to a lapse of judgment.”

Representative Mario Diaz said Gosar apologized.

Matt Gaetz said Gosar already addressed his “misguided decision.”

But the thing is, he never apologized and I’m pretty positive he had seen the video before he tweeted it a second time. Gosar told right-wing fucknut news, “I explained to them what was happening. I did not apologize. I said this video didn’t have anything to do with harming anybody.”

Gosar claimed Democrats, liberals, and the media were trying to “cancel” him and said, “If my cartoon can be banned and my free speech is to be banned, then the Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, Disney and indeed most of Hollywood obviously could be banned as well — not to mention Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner.”

Leave it to a Republican to issue a death threat and claim he’s the victim.

Of course Gosar believes it’s his free speech to threaten to murder someone. They also believe it’s free speech when parents call school board members at 3:00 AM and say, “I know where you live, motherfucker.”

Republicans are refusing to condemn violence and bigotry because they’re afraid it’ll upset their base. This is the new Republican Party where the members are in a race to be the vilest amongst them. The GOP is less of a party and more of a cult focused on hate, lies, violence, and gaslighting.

Now, I’m waiting to see who has a problem with this cartoon? Will it be Republicans, Trumpsters, social media?

Relax. It’s just a cartoon.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw: