Matt Gaetz

Hater Caucus


Cjones04212021

Can Republicans take one day off from being racist? Just one? Maybe go outside, take a walk, sniff some flowers, binge Netflix (not “World War II in Color.” It has a sad ending for you), go to Costo and see if bulk mayo and white Wonder Bread is on sale (is there wheat Wonder Bread? Now, you’re thinking about that), I don’t know. But, just take a day.

In Congress, there are caucuses. What’s a caucus? A caucus is a group of representatives with common interests. They are not official. Nobody is appointed. As a group, they don’t vote on legislation. A caucus does not have to be bipartisan as a caucus can be made up entirely from members of one political party. They don’t get office space, government funding, or even government stationary. They can not hire. The only way a caucus can use congressional staffers is in pursuit of legislation, which is what a representative does anyway.

A caucus is basically a club. On the Fredericksburg bar scene, a beard club formed. Basically, it was a bunch of guys who all felt accomplished because they had the ability to grow a beard. That was their common interest. Tragically, there are congressional caucuses more ridiculous. There is an algae caucus. A lot of the caucuses have fewer members than the beard club.

Some of the caucuses currently in play are the Congressional Black Caucus, Hispanic Caucus, Asian Pacific American Caucus, and LGBTQ Caucus. There is a Jewish-Latino caucus. They’re not all on race. Many are bipartisan, like the caucuses on bicycles and minor league baseball. And there are others that focus on issues and ideology, like the Blue Collar Caucus which is pro labor. The Blue Dog Caucus is for conservative Democrats and the New Democrats is for centrists as is the Republican Main Street Caucus. There is a Progressive Caucus and there is a Libertarian Caucus. There is the Congressional Asshole Caucus that consists of Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, and Tom Cotton (I made that up but it should be a thing).

There is also a Freedom Caucus which sounds nice until you realize it’s a caucus for the Tea Party. When people like Tea Party fuckers talk “freedom,” they actually mean denying freedom to other races and people who disagree with them. It’s like joining a book club when you have zero intentions of ever reading a book and you’re just there for the cake, coffee, and gossip. In the Freedom Caucus, all their members are there for the hate.

You are probably thinking the Tea Party group is one for all the angry racists in Congress, right? You are right. The Tea Party claimed it was created in opposition to government spending, but it wasn’t created while George W. Bush was paying for two wars with tax cuts. No, it was created between Barack Obama’s election and his inauguration. It was a response to the nation electing a president who wasn’t white. It was really an anti-black-president party. But for people like Marjorie Taylor Greene and Matt Gaetz, the Tea Party isn’t racist enough. It’s like going to a Klan meeting and saying, “Have you guys tried hating harder?” That’s how the Oath Keepers and Proud Boys were created.

Representative, bully of children, and conspiracy theorist Marjorie Taylor Greene floated the idea of creating a new racist congressional caucus. At the very least, maybe this new group’s name won’t be as easily mocked for their name as the Tea Party, whose members are often called “tea baggers,” which is probably something else on Matt Gaetz’s phone.

Punchbowl News (a news outlet I just found out about), published a document being circulated by MTG that wasn’t supposed to be discovered outside her racist circle. The document was outlining goals for a new America First Caucus, which would be made from hard-right-wing members. It’s a caucus that would promote Trump’s agenda of America First, be anti-brown and shithole-country immigration, anti-welfare, and push lies like illegal immigrants voting while being on welfare, and that Donald Trump won the 2020 election only to have it stolen from him.

Greene says the document was a “staff level draft proposal from an outside group.” I don’t know what that is. What the hell is “staff level” from an outside group? And if it’s from an outside group, who is that outside group? She claimed she hadn’t even read it which is believable. She probably had it read to her.

Greene said the media was “taking something out of context,” but she didn’t deny she was forming a new caucus. She didn’t mention any parts of the document or the report that wasn’t true. Then she tweeted that Trump’s nationalism and “America First policies will save this country for all of us, our children, and ultimately the world.” They’ll probably save us from Jewish Space Lasers and child-sex-trafficked pizza made by reptilian deep-state devil worshippers. If anything, there should be a space laser saving us from pineapples being placed on our pizzas. Can we get a congressional caucus for that? How about a pro-black olives on pizza caucus? Black olives always make pizza better.

As Greene was avoiding admitting the caucus was a thing, Matt Gaetz said he was signing up and that the caucus will “end wars, stop illegal immigration & promote trade that is fair to American workers.” Other hard-right GOP fucknuts rumored to be joining are Arizona’s Paul Gosar and Alabama’s Barry Moore. Hopefully, membership doesn’t mean you’ll receive mistakenly-sent texts of Matt Gaetz’s dingdong. That’ll make you hate harder…or softer.

On immigration, the secret document describes the United States as a place with “uniquely Anglo-Saxon political traditions” and argues “societal trust and political unity are threatened when foreign citizens are imported en-masse into a country, particularly without institutional support for assimilation and an expansive welfare state to bail them out should they fail to contribute positively to the country.” Basically, that’s a lot of winking and nudging about the caucus being pro-white and anti non-white.

When people are promoting Anglo-Saxon “traditions,” “culture,” and “nativism,” they’re echoing the Ku Klux Klan. It sounds like some shit Tucker Carlson would promote and he probably will on tonight’s show.

And if you don’t think the document was sending out dog whistles, then don’t believe me. Believe House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy of all people. Without mentioning the specific caucus, he replied to the news by saying, “America is built on the idea that we are all created equal and success is earned through honest, hard work. It isn’t built on identity, race, or religion. The Republican Party is the party of Lincoln & the party of more opportunity for all Americans — not nativist dog whistles.” This is the same guy who flew to Mar-a-Lago so he could tweet a photo of him standing next to the king of racist dog whistles.

Liz Cheney responded to the news by saying, “Republicans believe in equal opportunity, freedom, and justice for all. We teach our children the values of tolerance, decency and moral courage. Racism, nativism, and anti-Semitism are evil. History teaches we all have an obligation to confront & reject such malicious hate.”

Normally, Republicans are much more subtle with the winking and nudging. When someone sends out dog whistles, GOP leadership is usually quiet. Unfortunately for them, Marjorie Taylor Greene and Matt Gaetz are not quiet. Gaetz can’t even keep quiet about the naked girls on his phone. The truth is, the document is pushing an agenda most of the Republican Party supports. They’re just not supposed to say it out loud. Sheesh!

Remember when news came out about Donald Trump’s “shithole countries” comment? There were Republicans in the room and not one of them condemned him for it while also not denying he made the comments about brown people coming here after living in grass huts and why we couldn’t get more immigrants from a white country like Norway.

Republican representative Adam Kinzinger said anyone who joins this new racist Anglo-Saxon America First nativist caucus should have all their committee assignments stripped from them. But that’s already happened to Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Matt Gaetz is already useless and doesn’t draft legislation, so it’s not like they’ll care. If nothing else, it’ll give them more fodder to scream about their “Mein Kampfs.”

Here’s a free tip to members of Congress: Any club that has Marjorie Taylor Green and Matt Gaetz as members is NOT a club you want to join. And usually, any Matt Gaetz club will require that you wear a toga.

Creative note: In the first sketch of this cartoon, I had Gaetz’s hair the way it is here, and that’s how one of my proofers, Laura, saw it. She loved it and told me it was in line with the klansmen’s hoods. But, I had already made it look more like a yard gnome by that point. So, I went back and made it more pointy. So, hat tip to Laura. It’s already receiving comments. Laura, you were right.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Giggity Island


Cjones04122021

Congressman Matt Gaetz spoke at an event Friday night in Florida where he attacked the “lying media,” and “decried” the smears against him, the “wild conspiracy theories,” and “distortions” of his personal life. He continued to claim these investigations are from an extortion attempt against him from a Justice Department official who hasn’t worked there in over 25 years.

What wasn’t weird about this is that Gaetz gave his little pity-party speech at a Trump resort (when they do this, they basically give Donald Trump money). What is weird is this was an event by a women’s group. OK, a Women for Trump group…but still.

Matt Gaetz is being looked at by the Justice Department over accusations he slept with a minor and flew her across state lines and put her up in hotel rooms just for that purpose. He’s also accused of paying other women for sex. Matt Gaetz’s defense, other than someone’s blackmailing him, is that he hasn’t slept with a minor since he was a minor and he’s never paid for sex. His proof he’s never paid for sex is his face…which looks like the result of an ugly Kennedy banging an ugly Matt Damon in the backseat of an ugly car that was parked in an ugly tree from where Gaetz fell out of hitting every ugly branch on the way down.

Now, there’s a new investigation into Gaetz shenanigans. This one is by the House Ethics Committee which already knows Matt Gaetz doesn’t have any ethics. This is serious stuff. His buddy and lounge-lizard wingman, Joel Greenberg, is flipping on Gaetz and the Justice Department is interested in making a deal.

The Justice Department may want Gaetz more than Greenberg. But the only way they’ll cut a deal with Gaetz’s buddy is if crimes committed against Gaetz are worse than the ones Greenburg committed, who is facing over 30 charges that include sex trafficking, and if Greenberg has evidence. When a deal is made with prosecutors, you have to tell and give them everything before a deal is made. There has to be evidence.

The Daily Beast found evidence. There are track records of Gaetz sending Venmo payments to Greenberg, who then sent the payments to women. There are more documents similar to these Venmo payments currently being validated by the Beast and other media outlets before they will be published. If these payments connect Gaetz to paying for sex, or sex with a minor, or sex trafficking, in legal terms, he’s fucked. If he goes to prison, it’s a good think he likes fucking.

Gaetz says he’s innocent. He also spent a chunk of his Friday night speech claiming Donald Trump won the election and it was stolen from him. I don’t need to see a Venmo payment to know Matt Gaetz is a liar.

Matt Gaetz has spent his entire time as a Congressman, and his entire life before that, being a sleazy cheap piece of crap. He helped Trump spread lies. He threatened people testifying against Trump. He mocked the coronavirus by wearing a gas mask on the floor of the House. He flew to a Republican colleague’s district to campaign against her because she voted to impeach Trump. Reportedly, he shared nude photos of women he supposedly slept with to colleagues on the House floor. And according to some Trump White House staffers, Gaetz asked for a blanket pardon for himself.

Donald Trump released a statement saying Gaetz never asked him for a pardon. That could mean Gaetz didn’t ask him…directly, but asked staffers. Trump also said to remember that Gaetz has denied the accusations, which is a pattern for Trump. He believes a denial is proof of innocence…or some sort of get-of-sex-crime-jail-free card. He told us Alabama judge and Senate candidate, Roy Moore, denied the accusations he was a mall-food-court predator. He said that about himself from charges of unwanted kissing, groping, and even rape.

But that’s as far as Donald Trump went to defend Gaetz. Gaetz spent the past four years being a Trump sycophant and this is the loyalty that buys you. Donald Trump didn’t appear with Gaetz at Friday’s event, even though it was at a Trump resort. Donald Trump is being advised to avoid Matt Gaetz which is the same advice that should be given to underage girls.

Only two Republican members of congress have supported Gaetz over the past ten days and said he’s innocent. They are Jim Jordan, who is a Trump sycophant and has a history of looking the other way when people commit sex crimes, and Marjorie Taylor Greene, who is a lunatic but still scrubbed her Twitter feed of photos of her with Gaetz. Not one other Republican will defend Gaetz…not even anonymously.

I predict Matt Gaetz will eventually flee the country to a nation that doesn’t extradite. Maybe to an island nation as he’s already on an island all by himself. It may be an island of no return.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Trump Booty Club


Cjones04092021

We have more developments in the Matt Gaetz sex-trafficking story. Are you really surprised?

As you know, Matt “Giggity” Gaetz isn’t just a Republican moron occupying a seat in Congress. He’s not just your typical douchey frat-boy sleazebag. He’s a huge Trump sycophant. The only time the word “dignity” and Matt Gaetz have been in a sentence together is this one.

Matt Gaetz defended Trump during the Mueller investigation. He defended Trump during both of his impeachments. He wore a gas mask on the floor of the House after Trump mocked the coronavirus. He flew to Wyoming to campaign against fellow Republican Liz Cheney after she voted to impeach Trump. He even nominated Donald Trump for a Nobel Peace Prize.

If you ever want to not win a Nobel Peace Prize, make sure your nomination is from Matt Gaetz.

Gaetz also kissed Trump’s ass when it came to pardons. He publicly encouraged Trump to pardon his goons like Roger Stone. He said Trump should pardon that Tiger guy, Joe Exotica. He even encouraged Trump to pardon himself. He said those pardons would save them from the “bloodlust” of their political opponents. Now, we’re discovering he privately asked Trump to give him a pre-emptive pardon.

The Justice Department is conducting an “inquiry” into whether or not Matt Gaetz was boinking a 17-year-old, engaging in sex trafficking, and paying for sex. Matt Gaetz has publicly denied ever having sex with a 17-year-old since he was 17, or ever having to pay for sex. But if you have to publicly deny ever paying for sex, you probably paid for sex. And, there are other means of paying for sex than cash transactions. You can trade sex for drugs. It can work like trading a Nobel nomination for a presidential pardon.

It’s not clear if Matt Gaetz knew the Justice Department was eyeballing him when he made the request for a pardon, but why would anyone ask for a pardon? Usually, you ask because you’re under investigation, have been found guilty, or you know you’re guilty. If Matt Gaetz was unaware he was being investigated, then he was asking for a pardon because he knew he doing some corrupt shady shit. When asked what he needed the pardon for, is that where he uses “Yadda, yadda, yadda”?

You know, there was this girl, a state line, some ecstasy, yadda, yadda, yadda, giggity, giggity.

He also asked for pre-emptive pardons for several congressional allies. Golly, I wonder who they might be and why they would need pardons.

A spokesgoon for Matt Gaetz released a statement saying, “Giggity,” I mean, “Entry-level political operatives have conflated a pardon call from Representative Gaetz — where he called for President Trump to pardon ‘everyone from himself, to his administration, to Joe Exotic’ — with these false and increasingly bizarre, partisan allegations against him. Those comments have been on the record for some time, and President Trump even retweeted the congressman, who tweeted them out himself.”

Donald Trump once thanked Gaetz for defending him in a tweet, and for intimidating witnesses on his behalf and said he is a “great talent, young, handsome,” and predicted Gaetz was “going places,” which will probably be prison.

But the thing is, Mr. Spokesgoon, according to The New York Times, four White House officials, and others briefed on the matter, have validated that Matt Gaetz sought a pardon for himself. Matt Gaetz hasn’t denied it yet and if he does, it’ll be as believable as his denial he’s never paid for sex. And from Matt Gaetz’s face, which has Butt-Head looking for a new look, I’d say he’s probably had to pay some blind prostitutes for sex.

A buddy of Matt Gaetz, a Florida tax collector, has been indicted on a bunch of charges, including sex trafficking of a minor. The Justice Department continues to add charges to this goon and many are predicting he’ll sell Gaetz out for time off his sentence. Two of Gaetz’s Florida connections have told The Washington Post that Gaetz bragged to them that he met women through this tax collector. Can you deduct ecstasy?

How hard of a decision is it to send Matt Gaetz to prison so you don’t go? The good news here for Gaetz is: If he goes to prison, he won’t have to pay for sex…though he may be the currency.

Matt Gaetz is a sleaze. We know this. While he was in the Florida legislature, Matt Gaetz was just one of two members of the state house to vote against a porn-revenge bill. The bill aimed at preventing people from sharing sexually explicit photos of their ex-partners online. According to Tom Goodson, a retired Florida legislator, Gaetz believes any sexually explicit photo a lover may give him is his to do with as he pleases. Goodson said from a conversation he had with Gaetz, “He thought that any picture was his to use as he wanted to, as an expression of his rights.”

You gotta fight…for your rights…to share naked photos of your ex girlfriends with other Republican goons.

That probably explains why Matt Gaetz, according to some members of his own party, was showing off naked photos on the House floor of women he claims to have slept with. What’s he going to do next on the House floor, throw a kegger?

Right now, I would like to offer my sympathy to any woman who has ever slept with Matt Gaetz. If you shagged with Gaetz, I am so sorry. We all have regrets. Once, I mistakenly asked for sushi in a hand roll, which is when it’s shaped like a sushi ice cream cone. Never again. Probably not the same thing as sleeping with Gaetz though.

There should be laws against showing off naked photos of women without their permission. Even if it’s not illegal, it’s a sleazy thing to do. Matt Gaetz is a sleaze. He is another reminder of what the Republican Party under Donald Trump has become.

Can we just stop electing people who support pedophiles, terrorists, racists, perverts, Putin, and frat-boy goons like Matt Giggity Gaetz?

No matter what these women are doing in these photos, they have yet to debase themselves to the point that Gaetz, as a Trump sycophant, has debased himself. Matt Gaetz was a sleazy dirtbag and a public humiliation long before the Justice Department started investigating him.

Creative note: I used Quagmire in a cartoon on Matt Gaetz last Saturday…and later that evening, Saturday Night Live used it too. Just for the record, I was first. Giggity.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Giggity Gaetz


Cjones04042021

Three things I have never liked much are clubs, DJs, and frat boys.

The first thing I did when I was newly single after my marriage was check out clubs with some new single friends. I hated it. Sure, I spent a lot of years single and going out for cocktails with friends. But a lot of that was part of the music scene I was in and in dive bars. Dive bars are different than clubs. Clubs are usually flashier with strobe lights and techno music playing, have a polo-shirt dress code, and a ridiculous cover guys are willing to pay to meet girls who are usually let in for free. Dive bars are usually falling apart, have regulars, a jukebox and TV, you know the bartender and he knows you, there is not a dress code, and NEVER a cover.

Clubs have overpriced drinks with the business strategy that you purchase these oversized drink for women you just met. In clubs, the women tend to run in packs and often if you want to buy one a shot, then you gotta buy all the friends a shot. In dive bars, they have PBR. You can purchase an expensive drink at a dive bar but you normally don’t go there for that.

In clubs, people tend to get dumber. In dive bars, you encounter more sarcasm. In clubs, you find frat boys. In dive bars, frat boys are barely tolerated. In dive bars, you can find ethnic diversity, liberals, rednecks, people who are straight, people who are gay, and drag queens. People go to clubs to pick up other people for sex. Sure, in a dive bar, you can take home some strange, but it’s usually happenstance.

Clubs also have DJs. I hate DJs. I hate going to a place to pay a cover to watch some tasteless asshole spin his record collection. Fuck that guy and fuck that club. A lot of DJs also think they are musicians. They are not. You are not a musician because you are spinning other people’s music…even if you get credit for the song selection. At best, you’re a shitty producer or engineer. DJs have Denning-Kruger syndrome when it comes to taste. They don’t have taste but they think they do.

Then there are frat boys. If you are a member of a fraternity, that doesn’t mean I don’t like you. Being a member of a fraternity doesn’t make you a frat boy. The frat boy is the guy who’s a date-raping, entitled trust-fund baby, always hitting on women, disrespecting them as if they’re part of his property, runs in a pack of assholes, showered in Axe body spray that has a scent called “Misty Green Monster Voodoo” or some shit, and while he’ll buy a $12 shot to pick up a hottie, the beer in his keg is Miller High Life because he doesn’t care about the quality when it could land in either his belly or be boofed up his ass. Seriously.

Do you know where to find frat boys (other than frats)? At clubs where DJs are playing.

Every time I see Matt Gaetz, I see an entitled trust-fund baby frat boy. We always knew he was a d-bag, but this investigation into him and sex trafficking is proving he’s a bigger bag-of-dicks than we were aware of. How is that even possible?

The Justice Department is looking into whether Gaetz didn’t just pay for an underage teenage girl to fly across state lines to have sex with him, but if he was paying other women for sex. They’re looking to see if he paid women in cash and drugs. And according to people who work in the U.S. Capitol, Gaetz is really fond of showing nude photos of women he slept with to fellow congressmen on the floor of the House.

Whoever told the press about the nude photos was not a Democrat. One of the people who leaked it is a supposed friend of Gaetz. The first question I had when I heard of Matt Gaetz sharing nude photos was: Has Brett Kavanaugh seen them?

Of course, the Supreme Court Justice doesn’t have anything to do with this case, but when I think of asshole frat boys boofing beer up their assholes, I think of Matt Gaetz and Brett Kavanaugh. While both of these guys are disrespectful to women, the one difference between them is that Gaetz may not last the week, and we’re stuck with Kavanaugh for the next 30 years.

In regards to Gaetz sharing nude photos: It’s very inappropriate. For one thing, he’s doing it on the floor of the House. Now, I know Republicans don’t respect the Capitol as they’re willing to back a white supremacist terrorist attack on it. But how about exhibiting just a little dignity on the floor, hmm? Also, most guys don’t want to see the nude photos on your phone of women you slept with. I don’t even wanna know you have them.

Also, carrying nude photos around on your phone, that’s just creepy. And if you have received nude photos from a woman or she allowed you to take them, that does NOT give you the right to share them with your buddies. I guarantee the photos Gaetz has were given to him with the intention they were for his eyes only. To share them is disrespecting the person who gave them to you and it doesn’t make you look cool.

Also, when a woman gives you photos, they don’t belong to you. If she ever requests that you delete them, you delete them. They’re not your photos. But if you send them to someone like Matt Gaetz, they’ll become everyone’s photo.

There’s an old-antiquated idea that when we vote, we choose from amongst the best of us. Now, it’s like the entire Republican Party is racing to the bottom. It’s like they’re trying to out vile each other. They went from being the party of family values and patriotism to the party of “grab them by the pussy” and pro-Putin. They laugh at children being ripped from their families in order to “own the libs.” Marjorie Taylor Green, Lauren Boebert, Jim Jordan, Josh Hawley, Ted Cruz, Donald Trump, and Matt Gaetz are not the best of us.

Quite frankly, I’d rather vote for Quagmire.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FOUR copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

GaetzGate


Cjones04032021

How did the Republican Party come to this? How did the party of Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Ike, and Reagan become the party that defends terrorists and pedophiles? OK. “Accused” pedophiles.

In 2017, the Republican Party made Roy Moore their nominee for Jeff Session’s vacated Alabama Senate seat after several allegations were made that he was into surfing food courts in malls to pick up teenage girls. Now, the party with a huge faction that believes Hillary Clinton was operating a child-sex trafficking ring in a Washington, D.C. pizza joint has to decide if it wants to defend Congressman Matt Gaetz from accusations of…wait for it…sex trafficking. Funny enough, Gaetz once floated the idea of himself running for that Alabama Senate seat…thinking his district bordering Alabama makes him eligible. To be fair, a lot of people do believe the Florida panhandle to be an extension of Alabama.

So, what exactly is sex trafficking? In this case, it’s when a minor is transported for the purpose of sex. Say you live in Florida, and you pay to fly a minor in from Arizona to shag, that’s sex trafficking. Remember, these are only accusations so far in regard to Matt Gaetz, who has been accused of traveling with a 17-year-old girl across state lines and then having sex with her.

The New York Times broke the news Gaetz has also been accused of being one of the dumbest most do-nothing useless members of Congress in decades. These accusations are accurate. Gaetz has a history of everything coming from his mouth being a shitshow. He’s also been accused of being a ridiculous human being.

Gaetz recently flew to Wyoming (no word on if he took any 17-year-olds on that trip) to campaign against fellow Republican Liz Cheney because she exercised her conscience and independence and voted to impeach Donald Trump. Now maybe Liz Cheney should fly to Gaetz’s district and campaign against him. The only downside to that is that she would have to physically be in Gaetz’s Florida panhandle district. We could call it “Floribama,” or “Alaflora,” or “Aladuh,” or “Floppitbappity.” I’ll work on it.

Last year in the early stages of the coronavirus pandemic, he mocked the seriousness of the health concern by wearing a gas mask on the floor of the House. Later that week, one of the first people to die from the virus in this nation was in Gaetz’s Florida panhandle congressional district. “Flababama!” No?

Gaetz is a Trump sycophant. He supported the pardon of Roger Stone. He claimed Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s act of tearing up Trump’s State of the Union speech in 2020 was illegal. He tried to decertify the election Trump lost, helped Trump claim it was stolen from him, and supported the insurrection. Later, he voted against a measure condemning the coup in Myanmar, probably because he’s a big fan of coups. He’s also a big fan of conspiracy theories and uses the term “deep state” a lot. For example: “The deep state has accused me of rawdogging teenagers!”

A political ally of Gaetz was indicted on charges related to sex trafficking and that’s where this current investigation comes from. Someone may have thrown Gaetz under the bus. And from reading about how much people really dislike Matt Gaetz, that’s probably true. Gaetz claims it’s part of an extortion plot and the entire thing is politically motivated because nobody likes him. That is true. Nobody likes him. Gaetz brags that he doesn’t have a lot of friends in Washington and is proud that most of his true friends are in the Florida panhandle. “Bamafamu?”

This investigation was started last year in the final months of the Trump occupation of our government. William Barr was the Attorney General, who has to approve and be briefed on all investigations on members of Congress. This is not an attack by liberals or Democrats.

Gaetz says he’s being blackmailed by David McGee, a former official of the Justice Department. Gaetz claims McGee is blackmailing his father for $25 million to make sex-trafficking allegations go away. The problem here is, McGee has not been a member of the Justice Department in over two decades AND (this part is important) the inquiry into the sex-trafficking charges was BEFORE there was any so-called extortion attempts. There’s also the problem of: how do you blackmail Matt Gaetz by threatening you’ll make people think worse of him?

Gaetz claims the FBI was so concerned with this extortion attempt, that they had his father wear a wire which is a process that probably doesn’t work when the wire-wearer’s idiot son goes to the media and says his father’s wearing a wire.

While Gaetz is defending himself from these charges of sex with a minor, keep in mind he’s been living with an un-adopted male immigrant named Nestor since Nestor was 12 years old. Gaetz has referred to Nestor as his son, his helper, and a “local student.” Is Florida the only place where an unmarried grown man can live with an un-adopted 12-year-old?

While Gaetz has denied having sex with a 17-year-old, at least not since he was 17 (he said this), he openly brags about dating younger women and freely admits he’s paid for their flights and hotels to be with him.

According to The Daily Beast, Republicans don’t like him and there’s an informal rule not to appear on TV with him at any time for any reason. Why is this? Because Republicans who know Gaetz expect an incoming scandal with the dude at any time.

Again, according to the Beast, more than a half-dozen lawmakers have spoken to reporters about “his love of alcohol and illegal drugs, as well as his proclivity for younger women.” The article states, “It’s well-known among Republican lawmakers that Gaetz was dating a college student—one over the age of consent—in 2018. She came to Washington as an intern.”

A GOP staffer from Capitol Hill said, “I don’t think you’ll find a lot of people who are desperate to keep him involved in Republican politics.” One of those Republicans sent The Daily Beast a photo of a trash bin outside Gaetz’s office as lawmakers cleared out their offices at the end of a recent session. At the top of the heap was an empty “Costco-size” box of “Bareskin” Trojan condoms, extra small. Whoever gets that office after Gaetz may want to decontaminate it with a flamethrower. As Star-Lord in “Guardians of the Galaxy” would say, “If I had a black light, this place would look like a Jackson Pollock painting.”

In fact, only two Republican members of the House have publicly defended Gaetz so far. They are Jim Jordan, who’s another Trump sycophant and has been accused of being aware of sexual abuse among coaches and wrestlers when he was a coach at Ohio State University, and Marjorie Taylor Greene, the Qanon fucknut who is currently barred from any committee assignments. That’s not good company. Gaetz, like Jordan, Greene, and Lauren Boebert, don’t do any actual work as United States Representatives and only use their offices for higher profiles.

Even Tucker Carlson tried to distance himself from Matt Gaetz after giving him a platform to explain himself.

Matt Gaetz appeared on “Tucker Carlson Tonight” with a hair style that now has yard gnomes searching for a new look. Tucker’s show is one his own lawyers successfully argued in court can’t be believed by anyone “reasonable.” But still, more credible than Newsmax, where it’s been reported Gaetz has a job waiting if he chooses to leave Congress. That would be awesome for all of us because nobody watches Newsmax.

During the interview, Gaetz claimed innocence and said Tucker could appreciate his situation saying he was “not the only person on screen right now who’s been falsely accused of a terrible sex act.” Thanks to Matt Gaetz, Tucker had to go back over two decades to explain something he’s spent two decades trying to make fade away from everyone’s memories. Thanks a lot, buddy. Why didn’t Matt just claim all those extra-small “Bareskin” Trojans belonged to Tucker?

Then, Gaetz attempted to not just rope Tucker into his shit, but to make make him a witness. He said a female friend of his was threatened by the FBI and told “she could face trouble” if she didn’t confess to authorities that Gaetz was involved in a “pay-for-play scheme,” and that Tucker had met her. Gaetz said, “You and I went to dinner about two years ago. Your wife was there, and I brought a friend of mine, you’ll remember her.”

This is why you don’t go to dinner with Matt Gaetz. Or, at least one more reason.

Tucker quickly said that not only does he not remember this woman, but he doesn’t even remember the dinner. Thanks to Matt, Tucker’s next guests may be the FBI with subpoenas. After the interview, Tucker said, “That was one of the weirdest interviews I’ve ever conducted” and that it “didn’t clarify much.” Next time, interview a yard gnome. They don’t implicate you in sex-trafficking scandals.

According to some people at Fox News, Tucker was “pissed.”

Matt Gaetz has not been charged and is innocent until proven guilty. But Gaetz’s allegations of extortion could be true while the accusations of sex trafficking could also be true. One does not cancel out the other. Matt Gaetz, being a Republican and a Trump supporter, is probably not aware of that. This is a guy who believes if he screams “deep state” enough, it’ll make all the accusations disappear.

There are so many questions here. How bad are you when other Republicans don’t want anything to do with you? How horrible are you that even Tucker wants distance? How bad are you if your only true support is Donald Trump and Marjorie Taylor Greene? Is he guilty? Was there extortion? What does Nestor think of this? How small were those condoms? Where does one purchase a black light?

Also, in case you’ve never seen one, do NOT Google Jackson Pollock paintings.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Trump Toast


Cjones04022021

On a recent night at Mar-a-Lago, the guy who used to occupy the White House raised a glass of champagne and toasted himself.

He praised his policies on China with whom he started an unwinnable trade war. He praised himself on how he dealt with Iran which was to remove the U.S out of a treaty preventing that nation from obtaining a nuclear weapon…thus pushing them closer to having nuclear weapons. He praised himself for how he treated immigrants by ripping families apart, throwing children into jails, and losing track of their parents. He praised himself for winning an election he did not win. At some point, he realized he was at a wedding and he got around to praising the couple.

Trump railed, “Y’know, I just got, I turned off the news, I get all these flash reports, and they’re telling me about the border, they’re telling me about China, they’re telling me about Iran – how’re we doing with Iran, how do you like that?”

Donald Trump was in a tuxedo which now has penguins searching for a new look. But he continued ranting. He said, “Boy, they were ready to make a deal, they would have done anything, they would have done anything, and this guy goes and drops the sanctions and then he says, ‘We’d love to negotiate now,’ and Iran replies, ‘We’re not dealing with the United States at all,’ Oh, well, they don’t want to deal with us.”

At some point, I think he forgot that he was giving a toast at a wedding or even speaking in front of other people as it seemed he was talking to himself. But he continued.

“And China, the same thing, they never treated us that way, right?”

Quick. Someone get the cake. Distract him with cake. What? He’s not done? Oh, god.

“You saw what happened a few days ago, was terrible, and uh, the border is not good, the border is the worst anybody’s ever seen it, and what you see now, multiply it times 10, Jim – he’s the only one I know who would handle the border tougher than me.” Was there even a Jim at the wedding or did he just glue little googly eyes on his hand again and pretend it’s talking to him?

Finally…he got around to mentioning the bride and….NOPE. “What’s happening to the kids, they’re living in squalor, they are living like nobody has ever seen anybody, there’s never been anything like what’s, and you’re gonna have hundreds, and you have it now, they have the airplane photos, the shots, and they call ’em shots, and these things are showing thousands and thousands of people coming up from South America and it’s gonna be, it’s just uh, look, it’s a disaster.”

Mr. President (sic), would you like to say a few words? No, I’d like to say a lot of words.

He continued. “It’s a humanitarian disaster from their standpoint and it’s gonna destroy the country, and frankly, the country can’t afford it because you’re talking about massive, just incredibly massive amounts. Our school systems, our hospital systems, everything.”

It continued. “So it’s a rough thing, and I just say, ‘Do you miss me yet?'” No. We don’t miss you and we’re not going to. But then again, we did say the same thing about George W. Bush and…no, nope, no no no…we’re never going to miss your stupid rancid Cheeto-covered ass, you orange shitgibbon from Oompa-Loopma Land.

After warming up, he got started and went into the election he lost and said, “We did get 75 million votes. Nobody’s ever gotten that,” Trump said. “They said, ‘Get 66m votes, sir, and the election’s over.’ We got 75 million and they said … but you know, you saw what happened, 10.30 in the evening, all of a sudden I said, ‘That’s a strange thing, why are they closing up certain places, right?'”

Next time someone pushes the Russian talking points and claims President Joe Biden has dementia (Ted Rall), force them to watch the Trump toast.

Finally…he was done and wrapped it up with a nod to himself and the happy couple, whatever their names are. “Now, a lot of things happening right now. I just wanted to say, it’s an honor to be here, it’s an honor to have you at Mar-a-Lago, you are a great and beautiful couple … have fun.”

Throughout all this, the band was waiting for him to wrap it up so they can play that song from Dirty Dancing. If you’ve had the time of your life with Donald Trump, then you might be a racist.

So, he’s asked to give a toast, he spends the entirety of it on himself in what would seem like a drunken rant if he drank, and at the end, he can’t even mention the couple’s names. Was his daughter Tiffany the bride?

Donald Trump shouldn’t be enjoying freedom and giving wedding toasts. This man attempted to steal an election. He told officials in Georgia to “find votes” so they could overturn the presidential election in that state. There is no telling what he said to other state officials who visited the White House or where phone calls weren’t recorded. After committing election fraud, he sent terrorists to the United States Capitol to overturn the election in a violent coup attempt. He sent MAGA goons and other assorted white supremacists to stop Congress from doing its Constitutional duty. He succeeded for a few hours.

The only place Donald Trump should be toasting weddings is in prison. He shouldn’t be toasting and giving rants at Mar-a-Lago. He shouldn’t be calling in to Fox News to continue spreading debunked conspiracy theories. He shouldn’t be free to enable more white nationalist terrorists. He shouldn’t be at some gold-plated desk working on his bullshit memoirs. He shouldn’t be working on deals to create a new social media network for Nazis. He shouldn’t be on the golf course continuing to bilk taxpayers for Secret Service protection. He should be in prison.

Georgia is investigating Donald Trump’s election interference. The District of Columbia may start an investigation into his rallying terrorists to attack the United States government. The Justice Department should be opening a LOT of investigations into Donald Trump’s illegal activity throughout his time occupying the White House.

And maybe afterward, Donald Trump and Matt Gaetz can share a toilet of wine together. Donald Trump shouldn’t be giving a toast. He should be toast.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Matt Gaetz Shows His Respect


cjones03132020

If “if you like your doctor then you can keep your doctor” is a lie, then so is, “anybody who needs a test gets a test.” And it’s actually a more dangerous lie.

Donald Trump doesn’t know how to respond to what is now being described as an international pandemic, so he lies and gives misinformation about it. He says he’s the best to deal with it because his uncle was a “super genius” at MIT. Donald Trump couldn’t spell “MIT” if you spotted him the “M” and the “I.” He was at the CDC, Center for Disease Control, where the scientists asked him how he knew so much about the coronavirus which he either made up or they did so mockingly. It’d be like asking someone who kicks tires how they know so much about automobiles. Donald Trump couldn’t spell “CDC” if you spotted him the “C” and the “D.”

On top of all this, members of Trump’s administration and government workers who aren’t political, are being told not to cross the president (sic). People are being told not to do their jobs if it compromises Donald Trump’s ego.

And then, Donald Trump went to Mar-a-Lago to play golf.

So, is it any surprise the markets are collapsing?

Italy’s government is advising its citizens to keep a distance of three feet from each other. That’s good advice here in the United States. When you encounter a Republican, keep at least three feet away (though I’d advise much farther, like another state).

The Conservative Political Action Convention (CPAC) was last week which featured such high profile individuals as the anti-Greta and Ted Cruz. You can’t have an asshole convention without Ted Cruz.

Now, Cruz and Republican congressman Paul Glosar are self-quarantining after encountering an individual at CPAC who has tested positive for the coronavirus. I guess karma does exist. Who knew there’d be new reasons to avoid Ted Cruz? If this was a zombie outbreak, all of our political leaders would have been bitten by now.

Now I have to ask, was Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz also at the convention?

Gaetz had to have been there because he’s an asshole. What kind of asshole is he? During the vote to put over $8 billion into fighting the coronavirus, Gaetz wore a gas mask to mock the crisis. He eventually voted for the bill but expressed reluctance. Later, after catching grief for his frat boy antics on the floor of the House of Representatives, he tried to pretend he was serious and looking out for his safety. Now, a person from Gaetz’s Florida district has died from the coronavirus. Maybe Gaetz should attend the funeral wearing his little gas mask. He can talk to the victim’s family, while wearing the gas mask, and explain how serious he is.

I have a great idea. Let’s take all of these Republicans who attended the CPAC thingy and quarantine them…in the Trump Washington hotel.

In fact, let’s stick them in there and shut the hotel down until this pandemic passes. I’m sure Trump would take the monetary sacrifice for his nation and fellow Republicans. Right? Hello?

Now, remember, keep at least three feet away from all Republicans. For the love of God, do not shake their hands. Republican cooties are nasty. Additionally, it would be best if you don’t smell any of their bullshit either.

Republicans are contagious.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Corona BS


cjones03112020

When Donald Trump was a candidate for the presidency and no one could actually see him winning the office, President Obama said Trump was “uniquely unqualified” for the job. Obama was right. Donald Trump has done nothing except prove he’s unqualified and should not be president.

A man like Donald Trump occupying the Oval Office is a national emergency and a national security risk. He’s given secrets to the Russians. He’s downplayed attacks against our nation. He’s given legitimacy to North Korea’s dictator. He’s praised dictators. He’s attacked our allies and has worked diligently to weaken NATO. He withheld military aid to an ally in a war with one of our enemies to extort personal favors. He’s used his office to advance his political campaign and to build his own bank account. He’s removed qualified people from crucial posts to install sycophants and family members. He’s even worked to deny disaster relief and humanitarian aid to Americans because he doesn’t like the spending and their leaders hurt his feelings. For the past three years, Donald Trump hasn’t had a disaster so he’s been one. Now, we have a disaster for him to handle.

A disaster is here and in typical Trumpian fashion, his ego is the top priority. But this time, Trump can’t change the discussion with a tweet. Making fun of someone’s height doesn’t change the subject. Boasting about his leadership skills doesn’t change actual facts. The bet now is who will realize first that Donald Trump’s bullshit doesn’t change facts, Donald Trump or his cult?

One of my conservative fucknut colleagues has a cartoon today with a paper containing a headline reading, “Trump: America prepared for Corona.” And no, the cartoon isn’t about Mexican beer.

What my conservative Trump turdling colleague failed to mention is that Donald Trump has downplayed, and lied, and lied, and lied, and then lied some more when it comes to “Corona.”

His latest attempt to downplay it is that he has a “hunch” the World Health Organization is wrong about the death rate from the Coronavirus. Never mind that WHO’s death rate is based upon actual deaths from the virus. The man believes in invisible airplanes, windmill cancer, and that you need an ID to purchase Count Chocula, but let’s trust his hunch on this one.

Donald Trump initially called the virus a hoax. As you should know by now, it’s not. Trump has claimed the number of cases are decreasing in this nation. They’re not. He claimed the fatality rate is lower than the flu. It’s not. He said a vaccine is coming quickly. It’s not. Next, he’ll probably claim Mexico will pay for it.

And the people who are trying to get the facts out about this emergency are being attacked by Trump and cult, accusing those trying to tell the truth of attempting to hurt him politically. Even his dumbass son, aptly named “Donald Trump Jr,” said Democrats and the media want people to die so it’ll hurt his father politically.

While it’s all well and good (not really) that Donald Trump’s cult gaslights and claims he built this economy and that it was in a recession when he entered office (really. His supporters believe this), nobody dies from that bullshit. But now, they’re gaslighting and playing politics with something that kills people.

While talking to Sean Hannity, Trump said, “you have thousands or even hundreds of thousands of people that get better, just by sitting around — and even going to work — some of them go to work. But they get better.” That’s the kind of bullshit that will kill people. And of course, Hannity wasn’t going to call him on it.

The danger from this is that a member of Trump’s cult will contract the virus and believe he only has the sniffles, and that dumbass will go to work…or attend a Trump rally. By the way, I hear a lot of liberals say if they get the virus then they’re going to a Trump rally. Here’s the problem with that: People who attend Trump rallies don’t only go to Trump rallies (or cross burnings).

But right now, we have a president (sic) who is making the environment deadlier than it already is. He’s providing false information. False information kills. And he’s claiming those who point out his lies are politicizing it and trying to hurt him.

But, criticizing his administration’s weak response and cuts that made this worse has actually increased funding to combat the virus. The House passed an $8.3 billion bill to respond to the Coronavirus and Trump will sign it.

It was during the vote for this bill that one sycophant proved they’re just as bad as their Dear Leader which brings us back to the point that protecting Donald Trump’s ego is a higher priority than combating the pandemic.

During a Meet the Press interview, Mike Pence refused to refute Donald Trump Jr’s claim that Democrats wanted the virus to kill Americans. During a hearing before Congress, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo refused to disagree with Donald Trump that the virus is a hoax. And then, during the floor vote on the bill to fight the virus, Florida Republican representative and Trump sycophant Matt Gaetz wore a huge gas mask to mock the dangers of the virus.

He later said he wore it for his own protection because “members of Congress are human Petri dishes — we fly through the dirtiest airports, we touch everyone we meet. If anyone’s gonna get coronavirus, it’s gonna be the people on that floor so I want to be ready.” I don’t know about the petri dish thing, but Matt Gaetz is like a fungus.

Before the stunt, Gaetz tweeted, “Coronavirus does not belong to a political party and it should not be a political tool.” Seriously. Here’s another fact for Florida Man Matt Gaetz: The virus doesn’t know when it’s being trolled…much like Donald Trump.

I don’t think Gaetz needed a gas mask. His colleagues did and not for safety from the virus, but from smelling the bullshit from Gaetz and the other sycophants in Congress.

In fact, the government says we don’t need to wear medical/surgical masks for protection from the virus, but if Trump’s bullshit continues, we should all wear gas masks.

Donald Trump is uniquely unqualified for the presidency. The only thing Trump is qualified for is bullshit.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Republican Herd


cjones10262019

When you can’t counter facts and evidence, what do you do? You scream as loud as you can about the process, create a giant scene of faux outrage, and state a massive hissy fit. That’s exactly what Matt Gaetz led House Republicans to do yesterday.

Though Gaetz didn’t stampede a herd of cattle through the private impeachment hearing, delaying a witness from the Pentagon from testifying for five hours, he did find a bunch of poo-flinging monkeys in the form of fellow Republicans.

Republicans are crying about the Democratic-led hearings being held in secret, but they don’t have a leg to stand on. They say it defies precedent as previous impeachment hearings were public. But those impeachments reached the House AFTER the investigative process. What’s going on now is the investigative process, much like the Republican investigations into Benghazi and Fast & Furious, which also started in secret. After the investigative process, there will be public hearings. After Trump is impeached, he’ll have a trial in the Senate where yes, he will have a defense team. Granted, a very stupid defense team, but a defense team nevertheless.

Why hold the investigations in secret? One reason is so witnesses can’t collaborate from watching each others’ testimonies. The other reason is so House members don’t turn the hearings into a circus. Proving this point, yesterday, Matt Gaetz and a bunch of Republican clowns crashed a committee hearing yesterday.

Another complaint is that Republicans can’t participate or ask questions in these hearings. False and false. Forty-eight Republicans are on the committees in these hearings and they can ask questions. Here’s a fun fact: At least 13 of the Republicans staging the party-crashing yesterday WERE INVITED TO ATTEND THE HEARINGS! They’re on those committees. It’s like crashing a party you’re invited to. If they really wanted to take part in these hearings, then why didn’t they attend and question the witnesses instead of crashing it with idiot Gaetz and holding a pizza party? Yeah, they had pizza.

Another fun fact: These hearings are being held in a Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility, commonly known as a SCIF (in case you’re a Republican, that’s what we call an “acronym”). There are rules that cell phones are not allowed into these facilities. Yet, this will totally come as not a surprise to you, several of these stupid Republicans brought in their devices. Some even live-streamed and tweeted from inside the room. So much for Republicans caring about national security.

Even more fun facts: House leader Kevin McCarthy and Donald Trump knew beforehand this was going to happen, and they approved.

And yet, another fun fact: Gaetz and his staff handed out expired congressional passes to some uncredentialed reporters and the crew of HBO’s The Swamp, which is documenting Gaetz’s efforts to combat the hearings, which is a violation of House rules.

Matt Gaetz and his band of stupid brothers are fortunate they weren’t arrested, but many believe that’s what they wanted as it would have made a bigger scene.

Republicans are complaining about secret hearings over Trump corruption they believe should have remained a secret. When these hearings go public, they’ll do everything they can to suppress and shout down witnesses. If they think it’s bad now, wait. Their defense isn’t going to improve.

Expect more Republican stampedes in the future because all they have is bullshit.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Whose Liar Is It Anyway?


cjones03052019

Democrats spent the majority of Michael Cohen’s testimony asking questions about Donald Trump. Republicans spent all of their time asking Michael Cohen questions about Michael Cohen.

Republicans, ranking member Jim Jordan in particular, pointed out that the first witness called for the first hearing in the Democrat-controlled 116th Congress is a man convicted of lying to Congress. Since Jordan is a Republican, his opening remarks and point was…wait for it…A LIE! This is actually the third hearing in the 116th Congress and since those hearings had witnesses, Cohen is not the first.

Each Republican on the House Oversight Committee used their time to attack Cohen as a liar and convicted perjurer. Nobody defended that, including Cohen because he’s a liar and convicted perjurer. Michael Cohen is going to prison for his lies. The Republicans even went as far as propping up a poster of Cohen’s face with the text, “Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire.” Seriously. Unfortunately for the Republican members on the committee, they forgot three things.

The Republicans forgot to defend Donald Trump. They forgot the man they’re protecting is a known pathological liar. Mostly, they forgot what Cohen was lying about and for when he committed perjury before Congress in his first hearing. Men who are destroying their credibility for Donald Trump were attacking the credibility of a man who destroyed his for Donald Trump.

Former New Jersey governor Chris Christie said on ABC that he can “guarantee” Trump is “sitting in Vietnam right now, fuming that no one’s defending him.” He also argued the performance was “either a failure of those Republicans on the Hill or a failure of the White House to have a unified strategy with them.” One senior House Republican who requested anonymity told The Washington Post, “The reason there was no defense is because there is no defense.”

Cohen is Trump’s former fixer, and it seemed like each Republican on the committee was angling to be his replacement.

One attempt to defend Trump was when Mark Meadows brought one of Trump’s few black friends to stand behind him as a prop as he challenged Cohen’s allegation that Trump is a racist. He literally played the black friend defense. Then, Meadows got upset when it was pointed out he used a black person as a prop, which in itself is racist. His defense of not being a racist was…wait for it…he has black friends.

Freshman Ayanna Pressley asked Cohen a question that was probably more for Meadows. The Democrat asked, “Would you agree that someone could deny rental units to African Americans, lead the birther movement, refer to the diaspora as ‘shithole countries,’ refer to white supremacists as ‘fine people,’ have a black friend, and still be racist?” That answer was “yes.”

Cohen alleged that Trump knew about the hacking of the Democratic National Committee before WikiLeaks had released the documents. He also claimed Trump reimbursed him for hush payments to women while he was president, and said Trump called him at one point to ensure he kept lying about those payments. He also produced the checks showing Trump had reimbursed him, which were made out, signed, and dated after Trump became President Trump. He even implicated Don Jr. and Ivanka in the Moscow Trump Tower project.

Cohen described Trump as a conman, a liar, and a racist. Stuff we already knew. He claimed Trump had him threaten people over 500 times, which is almost as many times as the committee Republicans said “liar, liar, pants on fire.”

Cohen, the liar, even defended Trump from a few rumors, such as having a love child, striking his wife, ordering Roger Stone to engage with Wikileaks, and the Russians possessing a tape that could be used as blackmail against Trump (you know, the pee tape). But then again, Cohen is a known liar and Republicans say we shouldn’t believe him.

Republicans still don’t get it. If there is a danger, you need to address it. Not hide and protect it. If the president of the United States has broken the law, cheated to win the election, obstructed justice, or sold his nation out to an adversarial nation for his financial interest, it’s in every American’s best interest to know the answers.

When the Republicans controlled the committees, they refused to ask questions or even call some witnesses in their campaign to defend Trump. Then-Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes used his position and hearings to gather intel to update the White House. They worked to protect those who may have betrayed the nation. They attacked law enforcement while defending a suspected Russian spy. This week, Republican Matt Gaetz tweeted a threat to Cohen the night before his testimony, which is a crime and a very Michael Cohen kind of thing to do, back when he was Trump’s fixer. Jim Jordan complained that there was even a hearing today, and these are the guys who created five different House committee investigations into Benghazi.

Republicans claim Michael Cohen is lying in his attacks against Trump. What Republicans are truly upset about is that Cohen has stopped lying for Trump.

It’s one thing for your crazy Republican uncle to refuse to defend America. It’s another for those elected and whose job it is to defend our country. Republicans have proven time and time again they’re more interested in being Trump sycophants, stooges, and cultists than defenders of our nation.

Republicans need to stop being Republicans for a minute and start being Americans.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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