The Jerk

During the presidential campaign Donald Trump promised his supporters repeatedly that he will build a wall along the Mexican border, because he’s good at building things, and that Mexico will pay for it. He based his entire campaign around the dumb wall idea. In fact, he first proposed the wall during his announcement for the presidency.

Now he’s pushing Congress to start the initial funding for the wall promising that Mexico will eventually pay for it one way or another. During the campaign he’d say “we’re gonna build a wall, and who’s gonna pay for it?” His racist supporters would gleefully shout in between chants of “lock her up” and beating up black protesters “Mexico!” At no point during that campaign did he ever say “we’re gonna build a wall, and who’s gonna pay for it?” with his supporters responding “Mexico…eventually one way or another after we pay for it initially.” Do you recall that? No you do not because it never happened.

From the very first day of the campaign when he first proposed the stupid wall everyone who possesses just the tiniest bit of sense knew it was total BS. Not only will Mexico not pay for that wall, but we’ll never build it. His supporters, however, believed it. Many Republicans in Congress still believe. Many just give it lip service knowing full well it’ll never happen. His supporters, who are still happy they voted for him, still believe in the wall fantasy.

Why won’t we build it? We shouldn’t build it because it’s a stupid-ass idea that’s racist and hateful to its core. Quite frankly, I don’t want to pay for stupid-ass racist ideas. Hell, they’re tearing them down in New Orleans (in the dead of night while wearing bulletproof vests so Nazis don’t shoot them). The real reason we won’t build it is because it will cost too much and it’s not even feasible. The government doesn’t even own all the land along our border with Mexico, and a lot of it runs along rivers and mountains. As for the cost, no one really knows. Do you know what’s a better idea? Taco trucks on every corner.

Trump first stated that it would cost $10 billion. Now they’re saying around $21 billion. Others are stating it’ll cost up to $70 billion and $150 million a year to maintain. That wall is not a toll booth that will pay for itself. Plus, after you build a 20-foot wall Mexicans will come up with 21-foot ladders. Besides, most people who are in this nation illegally didn’t enter over our border with Mexico. Building the wall is a statement that the only illegal immigrants we have an issue with are the brown ones.

I’m gonna go out on short limb here and say that illegal immigration is not the gravest threat to our nation. President Obama deported more people here without documentation than George W. Illegal immigration is down. It went down further over the winter, which it does every winter, and of course Trump took credit for that. He doesn’t believe man-made Climate Change can affect the weather, but he can. God just parts the clouds and ends the rain during his inauguration.

Trump wanted the wall so badly, and funding passed and signed before this weekend so he can have a legislative achievement before the 100-day marker, that he was willing to shut down the government. Attorney General Jeff Sessions complained that if the Democrats blocked it then it was their fault for shutting down the government.

How does it work that you can blame the Democrats when Republicans control the White House, Senate, and House? Oops, I forgot. By lying. By the way, Mr. Attorney General, you’re not in the Senate anymore. It’s time to remove yourself from partisan politics and to remove your lips which are firmly stuck to Trump’s pasty orange ass.

Trump is starting to realize that Congress isn’t going to fund the wall and he’s backing off. He still hasn’t embraced the reality that if Congress, which loves to throw money at bad ideas, won’t fund the wall then how in the world is he going to make the Mexican government pay for it?

Trump has already lied and broken several campaign promises. He’s broken the promise of Mexico paying for the wall so why not just let the lie happen in that the wall is never going to happen.

I do have a prediction for you: If they do start building the wall, it will never be finished. It will be a fitting monument to our stupidity, xenophobia, and racism.

Creative notes: I was having a cartoon discussion with one of my colleagues a couple weeks ago and we talked about using movies in our work. We were mocking this one guy who loves to use outdated movies, and the posters for those movies, for his cartoons (because he’s out of ideas). Do you know why Republican political cartoonists ran out of ideas? Because Jeff MacNelly died. I digress. This one cartoonist uses the Jim Carrey movie “Liar Liar” at least twice a year. It’s stupid. He also uses “Dumb And Dumber.” 

My buddy and I created a rule for our use. That rule is, don’t use a movie for a political cartoon unless it’s recent or a classic. Some classics, for example, are “Gone With The Wind,” “The Wizard Of Oz,” “Casablanca,” and “Jaws.” Some more fairly recent classics, which you know I’ve used, are “Airplane,” “Blazing Saddles,” and “The Jerk.” I think my pal disagreed on using “The Jerk.” I don’t and I just created a new rule. That rule is: If the average red-blooded American can name one quote from the movie, then you can use it in a cartoon.

I’m sure everyone in the world knows “there’s no place like home,” “this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship,” “frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,” “We’re gonna need a bigger boat,” “yes I am serious and don’t call me “Shirley,'” “where all the white women at?”, and “he hates these cans.” 

I didn’t have to Google any of those quotes. Of course, I am a geek and a trove of useless information, but I’m sure you recognize every single quote and the film they came from. If you didn’t, stop reading my blog. I disown you.

I’ve also learned that when you use quotes, especially from the comedies, people love it almost as much as they love seeing a Beagle in the cartoon.

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