Discovering Water In Costa Rica


Here’s this week’s cartoon for The Costa Rica Star.

The Discovery channel is bringing a huge theme park to Costa Rica. It’s going to land in the city of Liberia in the Guanacaste province.

One big issue is water. There is a water shortage in Guanacaste. The theme park is going to use a LOT of water. It’s a 2000 acre water park full of hotels and restaurants. The business and government says not to worry as the park will be self-sustainable and they have their own wells. So, if all this water is available for a theme park then why hasn’t it been available for the public? Also, what happens when the wells run dry? Will they then ask to borrow from their neighbors?

Other than that, theme parks just piss me off. Sure they’re tourist traps and they’ll bring in a lot of money for the community. The park promises to employ close to 2000 jobs during the construction and hopefully those jobs will go to locals. All of the investors are foreigners. Discovery isn’t actually building the park. They’re leasing their name.

But why go to Costa Rica and visit a theme park? If you go to Costa Rica, then see Costa Rica. Not a water park. Go to the ocean and jump in the water. Take a tour through the jungle and see crocodiles, monkeys, sloths. Not a fat American in a Speedo. You don’t have to leave the United States to see that.

The people who will visit a water park in Costa Rica are the same uncultured nitwits who’ll go to Tijuana and eat at Taco Bell. When you visit Beijing, don’t go to Panda Express. When you’re in New York City you’re not going to eat at Sbarro, are you? My mother would have and then she would hit the Walmart.

When I lived in Hawaii I was constantly trying to get my mom to visit. My mom loved to travel and see new places but she was intimidated about going to Hawaii. I think it was the idea of flying over an ocean. But one thing she asked every time we talked on the phone was “have you found the Walmart yet?” Mom had to go to Walmart no matter where she was. Even if she didn’t need anything she had to go to Walmart. She was a Walmart junkie.

She visited me in Virginia. During her visit she saw an ad for an outside garbage can at Walmart. She told me and my wife (I was married at the time) about the sale. I said “but we have a garbage can. It’s new.” She was adamant. “But this one’s on sale.” I told her again “we already have a garbage can. Buying another one is just a waste of money.” She continued “but this one’s on sale.” We went back and forth and I put my foot down and laid down the law. “I don’t need a new garbage can, Mom!!!! Don’t waste money and buy that garbage can today. When I got home that night, there was the same garbage can from the ad sitting outside, right next to the old garbage can. The new one wasn’t even an improvement. It was just a big freaking rubber can.

Anyway, my mom would totally go to the theme park in Costa Rica and never see a sloth and she’d drive me nuts while doing it. I told her there was one Walmart in Honolulu and she really wanted me to find it, even though she wasn’t going to visit. I never did find that Walmart because I never looked for it. You can go a year without visiting Walmart.

It seems everyone I know is going to Costa Rica. When you go, don’t go to the theme park. When you’re a tourist, try not to be so much of a tourist.

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  1. We went to Costa Rica in 2002 and it was beautiful. If you want a freakin’ theme park, go to Disney or Six Flags or something. Go to Costa Rica to see the real world (what little is left of it)!

    The only good thing about planting this monstrosity in Guanacaste is that it won’t destroy any rain forest, but it will probably destroy some dry forest, which is also important habitat.

    Liked by 1 person

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